Previously on Stuck…
Rainbow hugged Righty and he exploded. Literally, and not in whatever way you were thinking, you perv. But he's ok, just unconscious. Morgan and Lefty swing by, exposition happens, Lefty says Righty is not a bad guy, just corrupted by power. And they get Lefty to admit that he and Righty are friends.
"Hey Lefty," Morgan asks, "So how do we do this? Put all these people back, without them knowing what happened?"
"It's not that complicated, but we have a lot of captives to return, so it'll take a while," Lefty says.
"This is so cool! I can't believe I'm gonna get to see how you guys operate!"
"Ugh," I grunt, "It's not that exciting, sounds more like boring work to me."
"Oh come on Dashie! Aren't you the least bit interested in changelings?"
"Since when are you calling me Dashie?"
"Oh. I'm sorry, I mean… can I? That'd be… pretty cool if I could," Morgan smiles at me.
"Yeah, fine whatever. Let's get this over with."
"Yes! So Lefty," Morgan starts, "Do you have cocoons?"
"Well… kind of…"
"How do you capture a pony? Or human?"
"We have-"
"Do you even capture them?"
"Well-"
"Do you knock them out? Do you have a spell?"
"No-"
"Do you erase their memories? Do you implant new memories?"
"Sort of-"
"Do you just put them in their bed and hope they wake up and don’t remember anything?"
"Usually it's-"
"Isn't there going to be a lot of time loss since most of these people have been gone for a whole day? How do you fix that? Is magic involv-"
"MORGAN. SHUT UP."
"Sorry…"
Lefty sighs. "You're going to be helping me return these humans. You'll see how it's all done. Ok?"
Morgan nods.
Lefty and Morgan are carring an unconscious human guy from the car into the random human's house. I hold the door open for them and they carry him through to a bedroom. They lay him gently on a bed.
Morgan goes, "Can I do this one?"
And Lefty says, "Ok, you remember what I told you?"
"Yes. Make it random and different from the last person."
"And?"
"And… make the captive suspect anyone but us."
"Very good. As long as they suspect anything but us, we did our job right. So what's the setup?"
"Well, last person you smashed her cell phone and stole her lipstick. Not sure what that'll look like to her when she wakes up…"
"But that's the point. Create confusion."
"Ah. Right. Can I punch this guy in the face?"
"Sure, he won't wake up."
Morgan socks the guy in the face, and then rolls him off the bed onto the floor.
"Good?"
"It'll confuse the shit out of him when he wakes up… so yeah. Why punch him though?"
"Oh, I hate that guy. Total douche."
"Hmm… try not to make things personal. It leads to mistakes. NEXT HOUSE!"
It was dark out when we finally got back to Danny's house. I was sore all over from the run earlier and from carrying around a bunch of sleeping humans. Humans are heavy.
"How many humans did we do today?" I ask as I sit on the couch.
"I think I lost count after fifty," Morgan answers as he plops down next to me.
"107 captives at 72 residences," Lefty answers.
"Man. Felt like more." Morgan lazily leans back and turns the TV on.
There's a lady on the screen. "The alleged hostage situation in Wheaton is now confirmed to be a hoax. Authorities say that the SWAT team dispatched to handle the situation found only an empty barn, with no hostages or terrorists. Authorities suspect, however, that the hostage scare was a result of the complete loss of communications with the entire town of Wheaton for over 12 hours now. Including all telephone, radio, internet, and cell phone services. Even the radio comms of the SWAT team for the two hours they were in Wheaton. Local communications providers say they have no records of any malfunctions of their systems. Most connections have been reestablished with the town, but they are working as quickly as they can to restore telephone and internet services back to one hundred percent operation. The local authorities want to again stress that there is no terrorist situation in Wheaton. In other news…"
"Huh," Morgan says. "They bought it."
"I sold it," says a smug Lefty. He plops down into the couch next to Morgan.
"Alright Lefty," I say, "now that we're done, you got some 'splaining to do."
He heaves a sigh.
"Yeah I have to agree with Dashie," Morgan agrees, turning slightly on the couch to face Lefty.
"Let's start with just why in the hay you changelings even foalnapped all those humans to begin with."
"I told you, it was Righty's idea," Lefty defends, "and you know he was kind of going insane at the time, right?"
"But… why didn't you just… I dunno… not do what he said?" I ask.
"Eh, it wasn't long after we got here that I could tell what was happening to him. I knew he was becoming powerful, so I didn't want to cross him. I myself had already been pretty weak ever since… the invasion. I had hoped I would be able to talk him out of his foolish plans, but it was no use. Hence why I finally came to you for help, Dashie."
"Why is everypony calling me Dashie?"
"I don't know. It's what Righty kept calling you."
"Morgan?"
"Uh… because reasons?"
"Whatever. Ok, so basically because Righty was nuts. Got it. Now you wanna tell me exactly why you guys supposedly came to this world-place to get me?"
"What?" Morgan asks. "I wasn't aware of this."
"Oh yeah," I say, "Didn't Lefty tell you? That's the whole reason they're here. To get me."
Lefty sighs again. "Well it's like this, Dashie. Remember that whole invasion thing? Yeah, well, our Queen started a war that we can't win. We're in dire straits… it was bad before, but now… my people are starving. We're desperate. You see, all eight of us Overlords have been hiding in Canterlot for some time now, organizing, planning, spying on the Equestrian government."
"You what?"
"Hear me out Dashie. We have been trying to come up with a plan, some way to end the animosity towards us changelings, and maybe get some kind of aid from Equestria. To strike a truce of some sort. But it's a little hard to just come out of the blue and ask for peace, when you're the ones who initiated violence in the first place."
"Yeah, no kidding."
"So we came up with the idea that we should have some sort of gift to show Princess Celestia our sincerity. Some sort of peace offering, an olive branch, so to speak. Of course, we had next to nothing, and no idea what would even constitute a meaningful gift. That is until… one of us saw a certain rainbow colored pegasus that wasn't who she was supposed to be. And not a changeling, either."
"Wait… how did you know it wasn't me?"
"We're changelings, Dashie. We know when a pony is not a pony. Besides, we Overlords are mages, the best. That kind of magic sticks out to us. We worked together, secretly deciphering the spell and tracking you back to this human world, without Church or anypony else noticing us. We figured that this was our chance. We would get you back, and prove we did it to Princess Celestia. That would be our olive branch."
"So let me get this straight: you want peace between ponies and changelings, and punching the Princess' Element of Loyalty was your plan? Real good thinking guys. Freakin' genius."
Lefty smiles and shrugs, "Hey, that's how the spell works. You go back when both you and Church want to go back. I don't make the rules."
"What about Church then?" Morgan asks.
"Oh, we're pretty sure he's wanted to go back home since he got there. He actually does hate ponies for some reason. We have no idea why."
Morgan inhales through grit teeth. "Ooh. Yeah. About that."
"You said something about that earlier didn't you, Morgan?" I ask.
"Eh, heh, heh. It's uh… complicated. But hey look, I don't think Church would do anything stupid."
Lefty clears his throat obnoxiously and gives Morgan a funny look.
"Well, ok, nothing that stupid."
Lefty sighs, "As far as we know, he hasn't caused any permanent damage anyway."
"What did he do?!"
"Nothing, nothing. Just relax Rainbow. He's just made a fool out of himself, that's all. I'm sure all your pony friends will be able to look back at all this and laugh. So cheer up."
"Do they… do they miss me?"
"C'mon Dashie-" Morgan starts.
"Of course they miss you-" Lefty interrupts.
I reach over Morgan and grab Lefty by the collar. "Do. They. Miss. Me?"
"Well I'm not there myself, but from what I understand, yes, they miss you. They already figured out what's going on and already tried to get you back. Church even helped them, kind of. Though I guess that would be self-serving for him, so…"
"Oh… good."
"Ahem," Morgan gently pushes me away from Lefty, him sitting between us. "So um, do you miss them?"
"Yeah. I miss everypony…"
"Hey Left." I look over and see Danny and Dyllen in the doorway.
"Right wants to speak with you," Dyllen says.
Lefty heaves himself up and out of the grasp of the big fluffy couch.
Morgan leans in for a whisper, "What do you suppose Right's going to say?"
"I dunno. But it better not be 'I'm taking over the world'."
"Heh heh. So how'd you knock him out anyway? Bash him in the head?"
"Oh no, it was waaay cooler than that. So, like, we were racing to Church's place, right? Well, right on the doorstep I tackled him. I kind of hugged him-"
"You hugged him?"
"Well no, I was holding his arms so he couldn't fight back. Anyway, Lefty told me to love him-"
"That still sounds so wrong."
"Shut up. So I couldn't – because he's such a jackass – but then I realized-"
"Wait, wait. Hold on. You just said 'jackass'."
"Yeah, so?"
"But like, where you come from… jackasses are actual people. So is that like… some kind of racial slur?"
"…Dude, what?"
"Oh, never mind."
"So anyways, I figured out that I didn't have to love him, I could just love the rest of you guys!"
"Kinky."
I punch Morgan lightly in the shoulder. "Point is, he couldn't get me off him. He even tried magicking me off, didn't work. Then he started screaming. Oh Celestia, the screaming. So I head-butt him."
"You head-butt-ed him?"
"Yeah, still feeling that one," I rub my forehead. "And then he EXPLODED."
"Exploded?"
"EXPLODED."
"Kinky!"
I punch him hard this time.
"Hehe, sorry. Couldn't help it."
"Ugh, colts. After that, he was down for the count. And Rainbow Dash saved the day once again!"
"Well, hey. That you did. Um, thank you!"
"Aaah… when you're as awesome as me, it's no big deal. Want me to autograph your chest?"
"My god. You really are Rainbow Dash."
"Hey guys?" Lefty calls from behind us.
Morgan and I look over behind us.
"My… friend… Righty, would like to say something."
Lefty steps aside, revealing the same tiny scrawny changeling I poked back on Church's floor. He walks into the room, leaning up against Lefty / Silas's long human legs for support. It takes him a while, looks like he's in pain. He finally comes to sit on the floor in front of us. Lefty sits next to him, Danny and Dyllen take spots on the floor behind the two.
It takes Righty a while. Seems like he's thinking real hard about what to say. Even though he's a bugpony, even I can see on his face that he's got a lot on his mind. And he doesn't want to look us in the eye, either.
"Well," he finally says very quietly, his voice sounding strange and totally unlike Conner's. "Where do I start?"
" 'I'm sorry' maybe?" I blurted out.
Morgan nudges me and gives me a dirty look.
Righty finally looks up, and when he does, it's heartbreaking. I suddenly wish I hadn't said anything at all. That is just the saddest face I've ever seen. It doesn't even matter that he has scary fangs or freaky dull-blue eyes, that look, it's like… like somepony just killed his dog. After burning down his house. And stealing his marefriend. And he just lost his job. And somepony else took a dump in his corn flakes that morning.
Heart-wrenching, really.
He swallows hard. "I am sorry."
"I think we're all sorry," says Lefty.
"I- I am so sorry Rainbow. For everything I put you through… I- I shouldn't have… I know I hit you a few times."
"And tried to kill me, but hey! It's ok. I socked you good a couple times too, right? Besides, I've had worse. I'm made of pretty tough stuff ya know. It's gonna take way more than a couple of punches to knock this filly down."
"Morgan… I know I gave you a hard time too, and we… I… foalnapped your friends. And I hope… I didn't upset your relationship with Claire… I'm sorry Morgan."
"Well, I'm sure… I can convince Claire that her brother was actually a power-crazed changeling. That should clear everything up," says Morgan.
"Dashie… now is probably the worst time to ask you this… and I would completely understand if you said 'no,' but… we would, all of us, owe you a really big favor if you would… maybe… put in a good word for us with the Princess?
"Well-"
Morgan nudges me. He leans in for a whisper. "You know, you got these guys by the balls-"
"Lefty's a girl."
Morgan's mouth hangs open for a moment while he processes what I just said. He shakes his head and continues, "I say we squeeze. You could ask them for anything."
"Pfft. I just wanna go home."
"But that's already part of the deal! We gotta get them for something."
"Hmm… I wonder if they could help me with my Wonderbolts predicament."
"What?"
"Oh, that's right. I didn't tell you. Eh, later. Anyway, what'd you have in mind?"
"Well… Lefty said they had a portal…"
"Really?" I ask flatly. "Why do you wanna go there so bad anyway?"
"I just want to hang out with you and your friends!" Morgan smiles like an idiot. Keeping that smile plastered on his mug. Obviously waiting for me to react.
I don't.
"You know, because you're all so awesome! Especially you, Dashie!"
"I… guess it'd be cool."
"Alright! So you gonna ask them?"
"I got it. Ahem! I will put in a good word for you guys, BUT, you owe me a huge favor and Morgan gets to go to Equestria. Sometime. For a little while. Deal?"
Lefty smiles. "I think we can live with that, right guys? Righty?"
They all nod in agreement.
"One more thing Dashie," Righty looks up. "I just wanted to say… thank you. Not for just this, but for everything. I came here to save you… and you wound up saving me. Nopony has ever… actually, you're the first pony to ever do anything for me. So thank you. You too Morgan."
"Yeah, I'm awesome. But ya know, you should really be thanking Lefty. He's the one- er… she's the one who had your back this whole time."
Righty looks up to Lefty and they smile at each other. "Thanks Left."
"Any time, Right." Lefty actually leans in and hugs Righty.
It's a very tender moment between those two. They must've known each other forever, through thick and thin. Morgan slowly stands up. He takes his sunglasses off and places them gently on the coffee table. He kneels down and hugs the both of them.
"Come on guys," Morgan says, "group hug! Who's hungry? Come on, you know you want some of this!"
Danny and Dyllen join in the group hug. Morgan looks behind at me sideways. His face silently egging me on.
"Oh. Why not?" I go over and wrap my arms around 'em.
We all share a couple of giggles. Then Morgan gets an idea all of a sudden.
"Hey! Let's go wake up the rest of the guys and do a dungeon crawl!"