//------------------------------//
// Pressing Buttons 
// Story: Woundsalt, Mother Bucker. 
// by OneUppington 
//------------------------------//

We stand on the other side of the street by one of the streetlamps taken from Canterlot, staring at the sign on the top of the arcade.

A red and white affair, with a salt shaker right above of… a button? Or maybe it’s a bit… Well, it’s a yellow round thing. That’s all I can say. Well, not exactly true.  I did say something after reading the sign labelling ‘Salty Bet’s Mega Arcade’…

“Fuck.”

Page sighs. “Yep… According to Blue, she was there last night, having some drinks with her impersonator friends.”
“I… noticed her. She… she does look like a filly-me.”
“Hmm.” Page mumbles, finishing his coffee. “Pretty common. There’s an entire dating service dedicated to organizing a date between a lucky pony and an impersonator or ‘Saltette’ as they are known.”
“No kidding?” Oh Celestia, I realise by saying that he’s going to go into more detail on it.
“Not at all. It’s really a big deal, especially in Neighpon. They even have a special place called ‘Shio Meido Kissa’ in the capital. It’s like a traditional maid café but the maids are also Saltettes, usually getting into character by telling customers that they are perverts for eating in such an establishment and yelling swears at them constantly.” He says as he throws his cup in the trash. “Definitely an odd side to your fanbase.”
…
I take a mental note to never go to Neighpon as we look back at the sign.

“So…” I eventually say. “What are we going to do here? I’m guessing barging in and telling her straight up she’s my sister is a little uncivilised.”
“Most definitely.” My comrade nods. “Especially since, and I’m putting this out there in case we’re wrong, the only thing we’ve got so far to prove it is that you two have similar names and she looks like a female version of you. Which, even though that means out of the possible known candidates she’s the most likely to be your sibling… means little to nothing, really.”

I stay silent as I turn to him, waiting for him to explain what he said.
“Well, think about it, Wound. Is Twilight’s brother called ‘Sparkle Armour’? Do all the members of the Apple family have the word apple in their name? Is Rarity hiding the fact that her last name is Belle or did her sister Sweetie added that to her name just for kicks? Fact is, you can’t prove a relation with just a name! It helps, sure, enough to make me believe that you two must be related; but you can’t.”
“Sure you can!” I reply. “Twilight Sparkle, Shining Armour. Sparkle, Shining. Two words involving light. And The Apples who don’t have Apple in their name still have a name related to apples. Granny Smith? A type of apple. Big Macintosh? A type of apple. I can keep going if I fucking bothered to know all their names!”
“What about Rarity and Sweetie Belle?”
“Well… Well… Fine, you got me there.” I grumble as I finish my coffee and put it in the trash. “But what could she be if namesake doesn’t mean she’s my sister?”
“I don’t know, Woundsalt.” He says as he starts to walk to the place “but…

… We’re going to find out.”





I don’t see why Rarity was squeamish about entering this place. What was her excuse for not coming in here again? The carpet? The carpet is fine… besides from the design. It looks like somepony with a sugar rush went nuts on an Etch-a-sketch. However, I recall that nopony cares for the carpet of these things but the games.
And there’s a bucking lot of games.
Lines upon lines of machines facing each other, screens glittering with visions that are destined to excite the senses. It’s hard to walk down the mechanical aisle without something beeping a merry tune of some kind.

“Yo! She’s got Skull-Fillies!” I hear a familiar voice from behind me. I turn to discover that the three of the four wise-crackers from last night. If I were to guess, the beanie-wearing pegasus named Musclebound just shouted his enthusiasm over the machine he’s looking at.
“And Perpona 4 Arena!” The unicorn which I remember to be called Lava Beard shouts, looking at some other machine.
“And Under Nightmare In-Birth Exe:Late!” Squeels the crystal pony who I believe is named Doki Stick. “Why is it that Salty Bet’s place is always amazing every time we come here?”
I have no idea what the fuck they’re on about, but clearly they know about games and the filly of the hour.
Oh goddess they’re looking at me. Maybe I should ask them some questions.
“Uh… Hey. You guys wouldn’t happen to know where the owner of this place is, would you?”
“Oh! Uh… She should be to the back.” Lava Beard says, pointing to the direction which could be described as the back of this place. “A friend of ours went down there to talk to her about something, too.”
I nod in thanks and follow the path the bearded one points out to me.
“Say fellas. You said he’s an orphan, right?” Asks the crystal pony as I walk away. “Because everytime we come here, I always wonder whether or not Bet’s related to him in some way.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Musclebound answers. “And since this is his first time down in Ponyville… you don’t think he came here to discover they are related in some way, don’t you? Like a cousin or something?”

I pause when he said that.

“Maybe. Nothing to do with us, anyway.” Lava Beard says, adding his two bits into one of the machines. “Let’s digitally beat the crap out each other, fellas!”
“Yeah! Dibs on Dark Anger!”
“Dibs on Storm Feeler!” 

Page sees me frozen into place. “You look like you’ve thought of something.”
I nod.
“Do you mind filling me in?” He asks.
“Something tells me we might be looking at this all wrong, Page… What if we don’t have the sibling but… somepony from the rest of the family?”
“You… you mean like a cousin or something?” he asks.
I nod as he looks toward ‘the back’ as the bearded unicorn describes it.

Let’s think about the magnitude of this realisation here. I maybe steps away from finding the family that my mother took me away from. This could be quite a big clue to… everything. Who is my mom? What did she do for a living? Why did she go and leave me and this mystery sibling by the doors of Saint Diamond Heart’s? All these questions could be answered with just a few more steps into this abyss of machines and good times!

And those few steps I take.

I see a glassy counter with small knick-knacks stuffed inside them. I see shelves full of interesting stuff with numbers attached to them. Do you know what I don’t see?
Her.
Well, probably because there’s a forest of dreadlocks in the way. I’m guessing this is Wullay, the zebra of the four from the bar last night.
“But yo, seriously.” The pony shouts. “When’s the Marevel Machine coming back?”
Hmm… if he’s talking to who I think he’s talking to, then this could be a good test to prove she and I are related in some fashion.
“I don’t fucking know, man!” I hear. “You know how that fucking box always craps out so fucking easily. It’s a bucking miracle that thing can still turn on!”
Five swear words in two sentences. The Salt family lives.
Wullay turns around to find me standing there and walks away slowly to reveal a white… earth pony? No wait, of course she is. She is supposed to be the filly version of me, so having a horn sort of ruins the illusion. Must be some other family member that I got my magic from. Same goes for the red eyes, as she clearly has a wonderful yellow. Her hair is nice too… it’s actually black, not like me and my dye job.

Salty Bet looks at me stuned. “Oh… Oh… H-hi. Erm… I’m sorry, I’m jumping to a conclusion right now. Can I just confirm with you that you are who I think you are?”
Heh… the impersonator wants to know if the real thing’s the real thing. Sweet, sweet irony.
I see from the corner of my eye Page Presser coming towards us.
“Madam,” Says the unicorn. “I tell you now that he is in fact precisely who you think he is.”
“Wow… O-okay.” She stutters as she tries to get a grip. “Sorry… It’s just that, I tried to build up the courage to talk to you last night but…”
I’m going to get this nervous shit with everypony I try and talk to now, aren’t I?
“Anyway,” Bet continues. “Welcome to my arcade, Mister Wound. I have a feeling you’re not here for the games.”
I shakes my head. “No… I’m here to learn some family history.”