//------------------------------// // Chapter: 2 Twilight's Etiquette Symposium // Story: Empty Pages // by Blind Gardener //------------------------------// The etiquette lessons were not going particularly well. This is not to say that they were an utter disaster: Twilight was making progress, albeit slowly. The problems were more insidious than that. Celestia sighed deeply, in the privacy of her own thoughts, as she watched her youthful charge. The largest of them was the infuriatingly egalitarian way in which Twilight approached social situations. Celestia approved of egalitarianism in a vague and generalized fashion, it certainly sounded nice enough to treat everypony the same regardless of birth or social circumstances, the truth was one could not treat a count or a banker the same way one treated a baker or a carpenter. It was quite fine to converse with ponies of lesser means, and they could make admirable friends, the cadence of conversation, even the very concept of what was polite, was very different among them as compared to the members of Celestia's court. While the bow and scrape was an acceptable, if overly polite, method of greeting nobility such as Fleur de Lis, performing the bow and scrape to greet the maid who had entered to refresh Twilight's tea had simply made the poor mare nervous and flustered. Celestia cleared her thoughts, refocusing her eyes upon Twilight's enthusiastic visage. Twilight, for her part, was starting to get nervous. She wasn't the best pony in equestria when it came to reading faces and emotions, but even she could tell there was something wrong when Celestia kept glancing at her, inhaling deeply, then carefully releasing the air as though she was trying not to sigh. It just didn't make any sense to Twilight. Why was one pony supposed to be treated one way, and another pony differently? Twilight couldn't really see any difference between them. Maybe it was how they dressed? But that was silly, not only could a pony change their dress any day, but most ponies didn't even bother. She glanced between the two ponies before her carefully. This was some sort of quiz. She wracked her brain for names, then found one. She smiled widely, carefully inclining her head as the princess had directed, then took one of the two ponies' hoofs into hers. "It's good to see you again, Coco Pommel..." A loud *whap* sound echoed throughout the small room. Twilight spun on a dime to glance behind her, but Celestia was already looking nonchalant, hoof posed midway in the air. "Twilight" Celestia said gently, looking at her student, her gentle voice broken by an odd tautness. "That pony's name is Shimmering Mist. Coco Pommel is one of the fillies from your classes." "Oh." Twilight wilted like a flower left in the sun too long. Then she perked up "So then you're Mr Fancy-Pants?" She asked, pointing at the other pony. He shook his head. "Rich. Filthy Rich, my dear. Close though, Fancy Pants is my second cousin on my mother's side." "I... I see. Um..." Twilight struggled to think of a polite conversation topic. "Ummm.... How is your mother Mrs. Mist?" A smile, sickly with nerves, spread across Twilight's face. "She's been in the Bene Humor Hospital this month with a fractured femur... she fell onto the pier while disembarking from our yacht. She'll be fine." the unicorn said airly. She waved her horn in the air as she spoke. "Oh, I see that is most unfortunate... Um... And... Uh... Your business investments?" Twilight asked Filthy Rich, struggling for conversational topics. She tapped her front hooves together nervously. "Coal has fallen two points but Salt has risen four. The Marefield mine is tapped for copper, but we've found a great vein of tin" He said with a wide grin. "Actually we're doing quite well!" "Copper? You know I found a spell that separates copper from sulfides and selenium, do you use in in processing?" Twilight's eyes lit up like lanterns. "Yes, we do use such a sp..." Filthy Rich began with a gentle smile. "It's funny, though, because copper is associated with the sun, and selenium with the moon, so it's like you're mining all of celestia's domain" Twilight enthused, grinning widely now. "I su..." Filthy Rich started, with a thoughtful expression. "Selenium is really dangerous though, it's said that one of the reasons that the wildlife in the Everfree Forest is so dangerous is because of too much exposure to selenium, though that could be a mistranslation and it could have been because of the influence of the mo..." Twilight rambled, waving her hooves in the air. "Twilight" Celestia's pained voice cut through her student's nervous rambling. She was holding a hoof gently to her own muzzle to keep from giggling. "I think that Mr Rich would perhaps like to be given a chance to actually speak in response." Twilight fell silent, blushing heavily. Silence fell, neither pony certain about what to say. Celestia shot the brown pony a look, and he acquiesced, deciding to throw Twilight a bone. "Would you like a demonstration of some of our mining spells?" Shimmering Mist continued to sip her tea, smirking gently. Somewhere else, a young hungry dragon was very lonely. Dragons learned to talk fast, because they could hear while in the egg.While he hadn't mastered forming words, he could certainly understand them. If he cried he could bring any of his caretakers into the room, but none of them were the pony he wanted with him. Only one word adequately described the purple maned unicorn he wanted to be near. "Mom..." he whistled and chirped, half asleep. Shining Armour knocked gently on the door to the classroom. "Guardsman Trainee Shining Armour, reporting for duty. Here to escort Twilight Sparkle back to her home." Celestia poked her nose out the door first. "Oh! Shining! I hadn't realized it was quite so late. We've been making... progress" Shining didn't fail to notice the hesitation in her voice. Nor did he miss the tautness around her eyes, nor the downward curve of Twilight's snout. He responded the only way appropriate. "Yes ma'am." He said, in an emotionless deadpan. "Oh Twilight, your brother is here" Celestia said, turning back to Twilight. Her student turned away from the half-eaten plate of strawberry shortcake she had been stirring on her plate dejectedly, and launched herself like a javelin at Shining. "Brother!" Shining Armour caught his sister in his magic, and gently placed the filly on his back. "Here to take you home Twi," he said, saluting her formally. Celestia smiled at the two "Don't forget, 8:00 tomorrow, Twilight." "Yes, Princess!" Twilight responded enthusiastically. Shining walked with Twilight a ways, then turned back to look at her on his back. "So... how has it been going?" he asked "Oh... It's... It's not going well. All the nobles look exactly like you, Brother. Bronze Blood and Fancy de lis and Stinkin' Pants.... I thought I'd be learning more magic and less..." she gesticulated uncertainly with her hooves, then let them drop to dangle off Shining's shoulders. "I thought maybe I could be special." Shining shook his head violently "O.K, first off, Twi, you'll always be special. Especially to me, and to everypony else who loves you. Second, you are an extremely powerful little filly. And finally, I'm sure Celestia will start teaching you magic soon, it's just that she's trying to round out your education some. Chin up." He paused mid-step to place a hoof against her chin, and gently scritch the underside of it. In response she smiled back, softly. "Thanks brother" Celestia stared into the depths of her tea-set. The way Twilight couldn't attach names to the proper pony, other than Celestia. The way anything she said that didn't have to do with academic pursuits seemed to go into one of Twilight's ears and directly out the other. That odd, slightly unfocused look she gave everything, as though she were watching it, but somehow not taking it in. There was definitely something wrong with Twilight. It was time to investigate. Perhaps the first step should be interviewing Twilight's parents?