The Clock Is Ticking
by Present Perfect
Day 6
Pinkie couldn't help putting a little swagger in her step. After all, the eyes of every stallion, not to mention quite a few mares, were on her goods. Wolf whistles and catcalls serenaded her slow saunter down Stirrup Street.
"Hot mama! I think I'm in love!"
"Oh baby, I gotta get me a piece o' that!"
"Bring some of that sugar over here, Pinkie Pie!"
Pinkie giggled and batted her eyelashes. "Now, now, boys and girls, save it for the party!"
She couldn't blame them, though. She was, after all, pushing a cart with most delectamazing, scrumpteriffic and spectaculawesome cake she'd ever made.
She just regretted not having been able to bake it at the venue. Every time the cake cart hit just the pebbliest pebble or divviest divot it shook, and the cake jostled, and that jostling was really making her just the teensiest, tiniest bit nervous. Thank goodness for the extra tube of emergency frosting she had stashed in her tail! Along with being sugary emergency deliciousness, it also provided her with soundness of mind should any of the cake's decoration go awry.
That soundness came crashing to a halt at the shouting of a gruff voice overhead.
"Hey, all you pervert jerks, you better back off my mare!"
Rainbow Blitz landed in the middle of the street, just in front of her cart, kicking up a cloud of dust. He flared his nostrils, lowering his head and spreading his legs. His eyes flicked back and forth between the numerous ponies who were now considering being very elsewhere, as quickly as they possibly could.
"Yeah, that's right, run!" Blitz snorted. "I'll buck every last one o' you!"
"Rainbow Blitz!"
Rainbow straightened, eyes going wide at the edge in Pinkie's voice. She stalked over to him and pushed her forehead up against his.
"Just what do you think you're doing, mister?"
"Uh, hey, Pinkie, I, uh..."
"Don't you 'hey Pinkie' me!" She scrunched up her face. "What's gotten into you, scaring everypony away like that?"
A frown chased all the fear off Rainbow's face. "They were all hitting on you, Pinkie, I heard every word of it! You think I'm just gonna stand by and let a bunch of leering creeps make eyes at my..."
He groaned and slapped a hoof over his eyes. "Oh geez. I'm acting just like that unicorn from yesterday."
Pinkie stopped still, her cheeks bulging and her eyes questioning.
"Pinkie, I'm sorry." He reached forward and pulled her into a light embrace. "Look, this spell thing is really taking it out of me. Now I think it's affecting us, too."
He looked into her eyes. The frown tugging at the edges of her mouth told him all he needed to know.
"We're almost out of time," he said, hugging her tighter. "And it's obvious I can't handle being a guy. So what d'you say, Pink? Can you forgive me?"
"Uh-huh," she murmured in his ear, hugging back just as tight. "I forgive you, and you're right. No more messing around. It's time we did the do!"
He started sweating. "Does that mean what I think it--" He stopped talking as pink lips pressed against his.
With a loud whoop, Rainbow Blitz snatched Pinkie up by the tail and took off into the sky, sweeping her off across Ponyville.
They landed, or more appropriately fell into, a tree out on the edge of Ponyville Park. Pinkie cooed and laughed as Blitz tickled her, helping her find a comfortable branch to lay on.
"We're almost out of time," he murmured. "This has been so worth waiting for, though."
"It has," she said, her eyes lidding. She giggled some more as he growled and nibbled on her neck. "Don't keep me waiting, tiger."
Rainbow's eyebrows waggled and Pinkied didn't even laugh. He sucked in a breath through his teeth. "It's time to make with the--"
"Ah-heh-hem!"
They paused, lips fractions of an inch apart. Slowly, they turned their eyes to the side.
There, below the tree, were ponies. Lots of ponies. Lots of ponies who were staring at them. And the Mayor, who was also staring at them from behind a podium, the front of which read "Official Ponyville Founder's Day Celebration".
"Just what," said the Mayor, slowly and evenly, "do you two think you're doing up there?"
"Uh." Rainbow's cheeks grew hot and red. He scrambled back from Pinkie and sat down hard.
On Pinkie's tail.
White frosting shot out of the tube hidden there, spraying all over Pinkie's tummy and face. The crowd gasped.
"Disgusting!" cried a mare with a bandaged foreleg.
"Have you no shame?" shouted another whose head was wrapped in gauze.
"Think of the children!" yelled a third, her hind legs held immobilized in a wheeled frame. There were, as a matter of fact, quite a lot of ponies in the crowd, all of them mares, who sported various splints, slings, bruises, cuts and dents.
"Hey," said Thunderlane, stepping forward, "Rainbow Blitz? What the heck are you doing with Pinkie Pie? Your sister's gonna be kick-flank mad when she finds out you two have been going at it behind her back!"
This got the crowd riled up. Angry ponies voiced their disapproval of not just the two ponies' current position, but of their supposed deceit as well. Rainbow ground his teeth, trying to let their words wash over him. But when he opened his eyes and saw Pinkie, her hooves pulled up to her frosting-covered chest and tears in her eyes, he snapped.
"Shut up!"
He slammed his hoof into the tree branch next to him. It rattled and shook, and a dozen apples fell out into a neat little pile on the ground. The ponies in the crowd shut up. Applejack sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye, smiling.
"I've had about enough of this!" Rainbow shouted. "I am Rainbow Dash! Me. There isn't any Rainbow Blitz, and there never was!"
"It's true!" Mrs. Cake shouted. Her cheeks flushed as everyone turned to look at her. "I-I caught them three days ago, err... in flagrante delicto."
Rainbow slapped a hoof against his face. "Pinkie and I are trying to have a foal, so I had Twilight cast a spell on me to turn me into a stallion, and ever since, it's been nothing but trouble!"
"Also true!" Twilight said with a nod. The ponies around her murmured in consternation.
"B-but..." The stallion who spoke up swallowed and ducked behind his heavily-bandaged marefriend as Rainbow's eyes turned to him. "Why all the secrecy? Why didn't you just tell us?"
"Because it's none of your damned business." Rainbow rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It's our personal life. It's personal."
The Mayor cleared her throat. "I am sorry to say, Rainbow Dash, but your personal predicament has become quite public, by virtue of..." She waved her hoof at all assembled.
Rainbow groaned and buried his face in his hooves.
"However, if I may be so bold..." The Mayor paused for a lengthy moment. "All of Ponyville is gathered here for the time being."
"Yeah," Rainbow groaned. "That's why I feel about as big as a Breezie right now."
"Indeed." The Mayor said, clearing her throat. "All of us. Here. In the Park. Everypony. As in, not in Ponyville. As in, the town is completely empty and anypony who wanted to could do, well, anything they wanted to in town, without fear of being seen."
It took a few seconds before Pinkie and Rainbow gasped at the same time. They looked at each other, looked at the Mayor, looked at the crowd of ponies shuffling their hooves, and then looked back at each other, grinning. With a shout of, "Thank you, Ms. Mayor!" they took off, making a rainbow and pink streak into Ponyville.
Mayor Mare sighed and turned back to the audience.
"I suppose we won't be getting that cake after all."
Mr. and Mrs. Cake shook their heads sadly.