//------------------------------// // Day 3 // Story: The Clock Is Ticking // by PresentPerfect //------------------------------// The Clock Is Ticking by Present Perfect Day 3 Pinkie woke bright and early to muffled swearing and crashing coming from her bathroom. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, reminding herself that Dash -- Blitz -- had spent the night. That explained it. She stretched, scratched her back, and jammed her hoof into her mouth, puffing her cheeks and blowing until her mane poofed out to its maximum volume. There was another crash from the bathroom, followed by a crunch. "Frickin' stupid... dammit!" "Blitzy, are you okay in there?" Pinkie rolled out of bed, bouncing and smiling to herself. A smile in the morning always made the day better, after all. She trotted to the door with a spring in her step and pressed her ear against it, eyebrows rising at the sounds of hooves slipping over tile and lots more banging and shouting. "No! Yes! No! I mean, I'm okay!" Pinkie chewed her lip, still off-guard at the maleness of Rainbow's voice. "Well, if you're sure you don't need any help..." Another crash made her take a step back. Scrunching up her face, Pinkie surged against the door, only to rebound. "Just don't come in!" Panic rose in the unfamiliar voice. "I can handle this, I swear!" "Rainbow, what's going on in there? Let me in!" There was a muffled curse. "No, seriously, I got this. You... You wouldn't want to see what happened. Trust me." Pink eyelids blinked slowly. "Do you wanna teeeeell me what happened?" He swallowed. "It's kind of embarrassing." "Pleeeeease?" He sighed. "Well, I got up early 'cause I had to use the little fillies' room. Er, colts' room. Whatever. And then I got in here and..." The voice grew hushed. "I marked far more territory than any one pony should. It went everywhere, Pinkie. Everywhere! How do guys deal with this?" After a moment of silence, confidence filtered back into his tone. "But I've totally got it under control now! I'll clean everything up and throw away the, uh, uncleanable. I'll be out in a few, Pinks, so don't worry about me!" Not worrying came easily to Pinkie Pie, as her mind was filled with the image of Rainbow Dash flailing around in the bathroom, spewing lemonade everywhere. Soon, she was rolling on her back, giggling and kicking her hooves like a madmare. "Pinkie? What are you doing?" She gulped a few deep breaths to calm herself. "Nothing, Blitzy! You keep doin' whatcha gotta do, and I'll go make you a yummy breakfast before work!" She got two steps away from the door before it burst open, slamming her into the pile of wrapped presents across the room that she kept around for emergencies. "Oh my gosh! I totally forgot about work!" Rainbow Blitz chewed his hooves, zipping back and forth between the bathroom doorway, Pinkie, the window and an unremarkable corner of the ceiling. "Oh my gosh, what do I tell them? What do I do? I can't just not show, I'll get fired! And then what'll happen?" Pinkie rummaged through the presents, popping up with one covered in blue and yellow polka dots. When she popped the lid, it blew a raspberry and sprayed confetti and streamers at just the right angle to coat Rainbow thoroughly. "Don't fret, Blitzy-poo! It's easy! You just write yourself a note, because it'll tooootally be in your own hoofwriting, saying that Rainbow Dash had to go to Cloudsdale unexpectedly and now Rainbow Blitz is filling in for her!" Blitz's eyes widened. He shook his head, sending confetti everywhere, and swept Pinkie up in a big hug. "You're right, Pinkie! Why didn't I think of that?" He set her down and zoomed to the one desk in the room, starting the letter while Pinkie hummed happily to herself. "Don't forget to finish cleaning up the bathroom before you leave!" "No sweat!" The quill clicked down onto the desk and Blitz whizzed past her into the bathroom, spinning her like a top. A moment later and he whisked back out, planted a kiss on her cheek, and took off through the window, letter in hoof. Pinkie stopped spinning, teetering drunkenly until she fell over into the bathroom. "Whoo!" The bathroom smelled lemony fresh. She couldn't stop laughing. "So did the letter work?" Pinkie mmm'd into Rainbow's ear as she sat behind him, carefully working his tired wing muscles with her hooves. A baker's delicate touch was just what the doctor called for in these situations, after all. "Yeah, no problem," he said languidly, closing his eyes and leaning back against her. "They totally bought it. 'Course, me being another stallion on the team meant I had to do all the hard stuff." He groaned. "Thank you so much for doing this, Pinkie. You're amazing." Pinkie giggled. "What else are totally awesome, not to mention totally cute, wives for?" She leaned forward and kissed the side of his neck. "So how's about that baby-makin', hmmmmm?" Rainbow gave a tired laugh and shook his head. "I dunno. After this morning's... accident, I kinda don't wanna look at that thing ever again." "Awww!" Pinkie slithered around her mate's body, twining under his forelegs and then around to the other side of his head. "But you don't have to look at it, silly," she whispered into his ear. "I'll do all the lookin'." His wings sprang open. "You won't even hafta see it once it's in--" There was a knock at the door. Pinkie and Blitz exchanged looks of mingled confusion and panic. "Pinkie, it's me!" called Mrs. Cake from the other side. "I'm not waking you, am I?" "No, Mrs. Cake!" Pinkie shouted back, extricating herself somewhat from Rainbow. "What's up?" The door creaked open and Mrs. Cake's smiling face popped in. "Well, dear, I was just wondering if you'd seen Rainbow Dash around lately. She's usually here, after all, and I had some..." Mrs. Cake trailed off as she got a good look at just who was sitting on the bed. Her pudgy face went through a series of contortions: squinting and peering; wide-eyed and blushing; and finally, knotting in severe disapproval. "Pinkamina Pie, I am surprised at you!" Pinkie shrank back behind Rainbow, experiencing the icicles-gripping-her-heart feeling that was normally reserved for when her mother called her that name. "Uh..." "Just who is this strange stallion?" Mrs. Cake stepped in from the doorway, but approached no farther. Pinkie rose from the bed. "Mrs. Cake, I can explain..." Mrs. Cake's eyes rimmed with tears. "You and Rainbow Dash have something special, Pinkie! How could you just... throw it away like this?" She gripped the hem of her apron. "What will we tell the children? What will we tell the neighbors? Oh, Mr. Cake will be so heartbroken when he finds out..." "Okay, enough!" Rainbow Blitz sprang up from the bed and was behind Mrs. Cake in a flash. He slammed the door shut, and the two mares jumped in alarm. "I am Rainbow Dash, Mrs. Cake." He held up his hooves. "Twilight Sparkle cast a spell on me to make me a stallion for a week. Pinkie's not cheating on me and everything's fine." Mrs. Cake narrowed her eyes. "You're Rainbow Dash? And just how am I expected to believe this?" Rainbow rolled his eyes. "You keep the amaretto that Mr. Cake thinks ran out in February in the top shelf above the fridge behind the really ugly cupcake pans." "Oh my!" Mrs. Cake's hoof flew to her mouth. "It is you, Rainbow!" Rainbow pressed forward, his eyes pleading. "Mrs. Cake, you have to keep this a secret." "But maybe you should let Mr. Cake know," Pinkie said slowly, "just so he doesn't jump to the same jumpy conclusions you did!" She jumped, to illustrate the point. "Oh goodness." Mrs. Cake frowned. "Pinkie, Rainbow, I'm sorry. Don't worry, your secret is safe with Carrot and me. I promise." They nodded and she left, shutting the door softly behind herself. Rainbow and Pinkie relaxed, smiling at one another. "Don't worry," Pinkie said. "Things will work out okay, you'll see." Blitz nodded, then paused. His eyes grew wide and a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. "Uhh, I wouldn't be so sure about that, Pinkster." "Oh no!" Pinkie threw her hooves up. "Did I leave dynamite in the cupcakes again?" "No, I..." Rainbow choked on his next words. "What?" Pinkie grinned. "Just making sure!" After a thorough facehoofing, Blitz sighed. "Pinkie, I need to use the bathroom." There was a pause of exactly fifteen and a quarter seconds as Pinkie processed the implications. "Ohhhhhhhh. Well, I could always give you a hoof..." She batted her eyelashes and grinned. Blitz turned beet red and spread his wings, backpedaling. "I... think that would be even more embarrassing." As he dashed off to the little colt's room, Pinkie curled up on the bed and laughed.