//------------------------------// // Muckraker // Story: Unwell // by HazamaBrony //------------------------------// “Hold your horses, I’m coming,” I grumbled as the knocking at my door continued. Who in Equestria would be so insistent on seeing me this early in the morning? It was only… I glanced at the clock sitting on my fireplace mantel. Fine, so it was a little past eight. I guess that wasn’t too early for some ponies, but I had just rolled out of bed. I had been up late last night trying to discover what had worked the guard into such a tizzy. I pushed a stray lock of yellow mane out of my eyes with a cream colored hoof in frustration. Unfortunately, I had been largely unsuccessful last night. Not that I was surprised. The guard tended to be tight lipped about giving information to reporters if they didn’t have to, and the reputation of my employer didn’t really make them more obliging. “What?” I said curtly as I swung the door open. To my surprise, there was one of the guards I had spoken to last night waiting for me. “Come with me, Muckraker,” he said, and began to march away. Now, that might fluster a normal pony into following him unprepared, but I had lots of experience with ponies, and the guards in particular, trying to bully me. “Am I under arrest?” I asked. “No, but—“ The guard started to say before I cut him off. “Then why should I go with you?” I asked, sticking straight to the point. The guard hesitated. “I’m not supposed to tell you anything. The captain doesn’t want you to twist it into one of your slanderous articles.” “Well, if you don’t tell me, the article is going to be ‘Guard Attempts to Pull Journalist from Home; Refuses to Answer Why.’ Do you think the captain would like that? By the way, what’s your name? I need to know who to set the public against.” “Fine, fine!” the guard said, with just a touch of panic tainting his voice. “A pony that we arrested last night has requested that you help her procure a lawyer. I’m just supposed escort you to the guard station, okay?” “But—“ I started to protest, but then I stopped. I wasn’t exactly used to doing charity, but something told me that I might get a good story out of this. After all, this sounded like it would give me insight into what happened last night. Heck, there were rumors going around that the tyrant herself had made an appearance, so even if that turned out to be false I could just claim ‘unverified sources.’ Of course, I needed more than rumors that Celestia had been here. And even if this turned out to be a dud, I could just leave that pony to the whims of the court system. “Fine,” I said. “Let me get my reporters kit.” The guard nodded, looking relived that I hadn’t caused any more trouble. A minute later, I had my stuff ready to go, and without another word, the guard and I turned and began trotting towards the guard station. My first thought when I entered the visitor’s room was that the mare in front of me looked like she had been put through the wringer. Half of her face was swollen, and when she spoke I could see she was missing one of her teeth. Next to that, her messy mane and cracked glasses didn’t even look that bad. “Yellow Journalist, right?” she asked, and I stiffened in response. “Not anymore,” I said, my tone frosty. “I had my name changed to Muckraker. It fits much better, now that I’m at a respectable paper. Just like the intrepid reporters of old, challenging oppression and corruption wherever it shows itself.” The red mare snorted. “Is that why you guys are always writing anti-Celestia articles? You see yourself as some sort of crusader for truth?” “That’s exactly it. Now, if you have something to say besides insulting me and my newspaper, I suggest you say it before I leave.” “Wait! Don’t go!” the mare yelled, trying to jump up, but being held back by her shackles. “I didn’t mean to insult you! In fact, after last night, I believe that The Canterlot Times is right! Celestia really is a tyrant.” The guard in the corner of the room let out an audible growl at this, but I wasn’t paying him much mind. “And what happened last night?” I asked, sitting down and giving the mare an apprising look through the glass separating us. “Let me guess, guard brutality?” “I wish. The mare that did this has been ‘punished,’” she said, and I could practically taste the sarcasm in her words. “Perhaps you better start at the beginning. First, tell me your name,” I said, grabbing my notepad in my magic. “My name is Blood Work, and this all started a few weeks ago…” It took more time than I would have liked to get all the information out of her. Several times I had needed to steer her back on topic after she got caught in a rant about how evil and crazy Twilight Sparkle was. But after all was said and done… “Well,” I said, pondering how to best spin everything I had learned. “Thank you, this has been very… informative.” Actually, this might just be the biggest scoop I had ever run across. Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn that had saved Equestria at least twice, was hiding a history of mental illness? And Celestia was trusting her with our countries’ most important defense? That alone would sell a lot of papers, and, more importantly, tarnish Celestia’s reputation. But that that wasn’t all, not by a long shot. Celestia had trampled all over all sorts of rules, laws, and regulations in her haste to cover this up, not to mention letting a prisoner be assaulted right under her muzzle. If a captain of the guard did that, the masses would be screaming for his resignation. But since it was undeniably Celestia breaking all those rules, this might just wake some ponies up to the fact that she wasn’t as benevolent as she seemed. “Right, so what I need in return is for you to get me a lawyer. Preferably a good one.” I nearly jumped at the sound of Blood Work’s voice. “Right,” I said. “I actually can’t do that.” Blood Work looked like the ground had fallen out from under her. “But—but I need you to!” she cried. “I used the last of my bits to bribe that pharmacy tech! I don’t have any money left! You owe me now, for giving you this story!” “Yeah, you probably should have mentioned that you wanted me to get you a lawyer at the beginning. But don’t worry, I may not be able to, but my boss has more than enough money to get you one of the best.” I left out the fact that he might not want to associate with somepony as obviously guilty as this pony, or the fact that if he did overtly give her a lawyer, all claims to neutrality would vanish. Blood Work looked like she bought it, though. “Okay, as long as I get one. I don’t want to rely on some public defender.” “Very well, then I’ll catch the next train to Canterlot. You should hear back from us in a few days or so,” I said, turning to take my leave. “Thank—thank you,” Blood Work said, looking as if the words caused her physical pain. ‘Don’t thank me yet,’ I thought, but I only said “You’re welcome,” aloud. The train ride to Canterlot was uneventful, but that just gave me time to go over what I would do next. I could have gone straight to the boss, but he liked it when an employee took the initiative to investigate a story before coming to him, so I had a bit of leg work to do. For starters, I wanted to find out more about Blood Work. In a case like this, it always helps to determine if you want to name your source by name, or if you should keep them unidentified. It barely took me a day to round up as much information as I needed on her. Apparently, she left quite a mark on Canterlot University records, both in terms of accomplishments and punishments. Not to mention all the teachers and other faculty that she interacted with. The second thing I wanted to do was actually verify that Twilight Sparkle was actually nuts, or if publishing this story would lead to a swift and decisive rebuttal. I mean, we would probably have to issue an apology Sparkle one way or another, but an apology for violating her privacy would just strengthen the credibility of our article in the eyes of the public. Conversely, an apology for getting the facts wrong would make us laughingstocks. To my disappointment, this proved to be much harder than digging up dirt on Blood Work. Twilight had been so much of a recluse that everypony I talked to at the university only knew her in passing. The biggest nugget of information I could get is that one of the teachers thought that she may have been using salt licks, but he didn’t have any proof. It looked like I was going to have to use her little escapades with her doll in Ponyville as proof, but that should be fine. It did fit into what Blood Work had told me. In any case, I felt like I had enough information that the boss would be satisfied. “Come in,” the boss said after I knocked on his door. He was at his desk, which, as always, was covered in papers and potential articles. Say what you want about the boss, he always worked hard. “Ah, Muckraker, I was wondering when I would hear from you,” he said. “Apparently, you’ve been as busy as a bee lately, snooping around the Canterlot University campus and missing out on stories in Ponyville. I had expected to hear from you after that commotion a few nights ago, but…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. Truth Seeker, my boss, was a little intimidating, but I was more scared of letting him down. He had really took me under his wing, metaphorically, not literally. He was really touch shy, even for a pegasus. In any case, he was the one that had suggested I change my name to something more respectable. He himself had done so after exiting from the guard. “Sorry sir, but this is about the commotion in Ponyville, and it could be the best story of the year,” I said. The boss arched an eyebrow over his piercing blue eyes. He ran a hoof though his golden mane, as he always did when he was thinking. “All right, I’ll bite. What happened that night?” It took me the better part of an hour to explain everything that Blood Work had told me, but by the time I was finished, the boss had gotten up and started pacing the room, the light from the sun scattering all over the room as it hit his white coat. “Yes, I can see how this could be big. If we come at if from the right way, we can make it look like Celestia knowingly sent a dangerous individual to a rural town ill equipped to handle her,” he said. “Yes, and it gets better. We can interview other ponies with this… A.C.M.S., and point out that Twilight has essentially been getting a free ride as far as help goes. That way, we can accuse Celestia of playing favorites and ignoring other ponies that needed help,” I replied. “Even better, go interview some families that have lost family members to mental illness. ‘If only our dear John Doe had access to the level of help that Twilight Sparkle did, he might still be with us.’ Something like that should really tug at the heartstrings.” “Right,” I said, making a mental note to myself. The boss really did have the best ideas, even if some ponies might find them a little distasteful. But the end justifies the means when it comes to getting the truth to the public. Right? “So, shifting gears a little, is this Blood Work trustworthy?” the boss asked. I winced a little. “Well, yes and no.” The boss gave me a critical look. “Explain.” “Well, if we do a little bit of digging, I’m pretty sure that everything she says will check out.” “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” the boss said, his tone firm. “Right…” I said, trailing off. What the boss really wanted to know was if we should actually name her. Not doing so would weaken the story a bit, but if we did name her and she did something idiotic, that would hurt the story even more. “Well?” the boss said, raising an eyebrow. “Just tell me what you’ve learned about her, and I’ll decide what to do.” “Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Blood Work manages to both be a really smart pony, as well as one of the most idiotic ponies I have ever met.” “You might have to explain that one to me.” “Well, her work in the medical field has been amazing. According to teachers and researchers at Canterlot University, she would come up with the most radical theories, and most of the time they would be correct. And she never got lower than third place when it came to competitive exhibitions, no matter what discipline of science they were in.” “Okay. So how is she stupid?” “She utterly lacks common sense. I mean, for crying out loud, her grand scheme to discredit Twilight Sparkle was to walk into a pharmacy, bribe the clerk, and hope to Tartarus that she didn’t get caught. If the pony she tried to bribe hadn’t been so hard up for money, she probably would have been arrested in minutes. Not to mention that it took the last of her money to do that, so she doesn’t even have enough for a lawyer, yet she still feels entitled to the best of the best.” “So, in short, if we do publicly support her, she’s likely to say something stupid and make us look bad,” the boss surmised, rubbing his chin. “Not, just that, she’s likely to turn public sympathy to Twilight. She really hates the tyrant’s student.” “Any idea why?” “Well, it’s actually obvious to anypony that does a bit of digging. You see, was a bully back in school. Probably still is, but… anyways, she was really nasty. Like, drove some students to different schools nasty.” “And how did she get away with it?” the boss asked, sounding surprised. “Because of all the praise she was bringing to the school. Like I said, she always placed really well in exhibitions, even when she was young, so the schools that she went to were willing to look the other way. They didn’t want to throw dirt on the golden girl. And that lasted until Twilight Sparkle showed up. Suddenly, she wasn’t the best of the brightest anymore.” “Ah, I see. So, suddenly, they stopped looking the other way when she got in trouble.” “Right. She found herself in a lot of trouble and blamed it squarely on Sparkle, without trying to change her behavior one bit. Needless to say, she got expelled later, but somehow she managed to cover it up. Possibly by threatening to reveal how much the school had covered up of her deeds.” “Wouldn’t that harm her reputation?” “Like I said, she is sort of stupid when it comes to thinking about the consequences of her actions. In any case, the Canterlot Charity Society contest was supposed to be her shot back to the top. I guess she just sort of lost it when she saw that Sparkle was entering it as well.” “Right…” the boss said, closing his eyes and running a hoof through his mane. “From what you’ve said, we shouldn’t name her. Some other papers might put two and two together, but for now let’s keep her a ‘trusted source.’” “And about getting her a lawyer?” The boss grinned. “You never actually promised to help her. That said… if we can get the public to sympathize with our ‘trusted source,’ even after other papers have revealed her, then we can give her the money for a lawyer. Make ourselves look good in the process.” “Right,” I said. This was pretty much what I had expected. “Muckraker, my boy, you did well,” the boss said, still grinning. “When we’ve finished, Celestia and Sparkle won’t know what hit them.