*beep*
*beep*
*beep*
"WAKE UP! You've been asleep for an entire day and I want to get back to Ponyville!"
I opened my weary eyes, and found myself in a hospital bed surrounded by several medical apparatus, and the the stern expression of Rainbow Dash in my face.
"Gerroutufmuhface... Wait... one day? That's a minimum record. Oh well. You. Get out of my face."
She rolled her eyes and moved away from the bed I appeared to be laying in. I say laying, from the looks of thing someone had awkwardly tossed me into it. A male Pegasus with white fur and a brown mane replaced the face of Rainbow Dash.
"Hello, um, Miss Cat, my name is Medical Wing, and I-"
"Well that's an unoriginal name."
He just gave me a stern expression and continued.
"You seemed to have had a case of shock-coma, but I think it is OK for you to leave the hospital now-"
"What was the point in telling me that, exactly?"
He walked away and sighed. I always hated doctors. Always trying to look after people. I sat up, and jumped down to the floor. Twilight then spoke up.
"Well since we all know your OK, we should best get going to the Canterlot train station, since we've been waiting for so long."
Everyone agreed, and so we walked out of Canterlot Hospital and walked through the ever-so-posh streets of Canterlot. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed an irritating little colt with brown hair and fur and a propeller beanie pointing at me and chatting excitedly to his friend next to him. Maybe he hasn't seen a cat before. I wouldn't doubt it, the creatures here are always so stupid. Anyway, once we reached the train station and got on the train, no one talked to me. Perhaps they realised I hate them, or they forgot where their speech organs were. Either way, I savoured the moment.
Once we reached Ponyville however, such bliss quickly faded away. As I stepped off of the train after all the other ponies who rudely went out before me, I was blinded by harsh flashing lights from all directions. As I recovered, I saw a terrifying mob of ponies standing in front of the train. They all kept chanting something, but I couldn't quite make it out.
"Great tarnation, they're asking ya to speak, grumpy!"
I looked at Applejack quizzically, and then I realised the awful truth. Someone somewhere had found out about my being here, and the fact that I can speak. The news must have spread like fire. That must have been why that colt had pointed at me in Canterlot. Speaking of fire, I must try and find out what happens when I set a house alight here...
The chanting continued, so I spoke up.
"Mob, shut up. I don't care. Yes, I can speak your language. Yes I'm a cat. Yes, if one of my claws goes into your face, it will hurt. Leave me alone you imbeciles."
Everyone stood silent for a while. Then a young voice spoke up.
"She's only messing! Lets cuddle the cute side out of her!"
On an instant, every member of the crowd began to walk towards me, somehow being able to give off a cuddling embrace. Don't ask me how, to this day I'm not sure how they did it. I ran for the nearest gap in the crown and raced through the streets in fear of having the "cute side cuddled out of me". I shudder to think what would have happened if I stayed. Anyway, I ran like a chicken with a leg coordination problem until I reached some sort of poorly designed house that looked like a carousel. Despite it awful architecture I ran inside it. I looked out of the window and to my relief I had lost the mad hell mob.
But it seemed I had ran into a far worse outcome. The interior of the building looked like it had been designed by a colour-blind jewel and frilly things enthusiast with a glitter problem. Every single surface was covered in swirly purple-pink patterns, and several mirrors and dressing tables littered the area like a vanity queen had just stormed through. After counting to forty-two whilst thinking dark thoughts I was finally able to continue walking through the building for somewhere to hide. I walked upstairs and went through the first door I saw.
I stood in what could only be some form of bedroom for a posh fashion enthusiast. I didn't care though, and I began to look for a place to rest. I found a velvet cushion with golden lacing and settled for that, purely because if whoevers room this is finds me, this is the cushion they will hold most valuable. As I was beginning to get comfortable, I was attacked by a flurry of white fur, and so naturally I bit it as hard as I could. I heard an ear splitting shriek and the flurry of fur stopped. I looked at it, unfortunately. It was a cat of some kind, and it seemed to be female, like most of the creatures in Equestria. It had a grumpy, drooped face and a purple collar, with some kind of ridiculous purple bow in its head. I figured this was most likely the house owners cat. Anyway, I was glad to see a face that wasn't a horse or a lizard, so I tried to communicate with it.
"Who are you? Tell me, or I'll make you wish that first bite was the only thing that I gave you."
She just looked at me and yawned. She reminded me of someone, but I couldn't quite pin-point who.
"Look, you over groomed hideous screwball, tell me your name, or I swear I will-"
"Meow".
I then realised the cats here couldn't talk and were unintelligent, like the ones in my world. I was about to scratch it for some form of entertainment, but then the door swung open. Standing in the doorway was one of the torturers from the clubhouse, and I began to search the room for means of escape. Before I could pick however, she had already walked in front of my and picked me up with her unicorn aura-magic-thingy.
"Sweetie Cat! We've been looking all over Ponyville for you for ages! Why did you leave? Did AppleBloom scare you? Anyway-"
"Get off of me you abysmal hillbilly. And for the record, out of all three of you little tortures, you were by far the scariest."
She burst into tears for a disappointingly low 3 minutes, then stopped abruptly.
"Wait... You can talk?"
"For the love of... YES! Of course I can talk! Have you not heard the news which everyone in your sodden town has heard?"
She wiped her eyes.
"Really? Everyone knows?"
"Yes, you Imbecile, now let me go-"
I was interrupted by a smack in the face. I looked up to find the source of the slapping, and I found Rarity's face in answer.
"No one calls my sister an imbecile but me-"
"Hey! That's really rude-"
"I mean, um, no one calls my sister names! I'm taking you to Twilights castle for an urgent meeting!"
Before I could retort any dark insult, I was already being stuffed into a bag. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the white cat smiling. Nope. I still had no idea who she reminded me of.