Blossomforth shivered as she huddled behind a large boulder in the middle of a snow-covered plain. While she had grown to appreciate the snows and cold of winter back in Ponyville, she preferred to appreciate them while indoors and holding a hot cup of cocoa, and the howling winds and sub-zero temperatures of the griffon lands were far nastier than any weather she had encountered back home. She looked down and frowned at her outfit, an emerald-green form-fitting jumpsuit with a pink fanny pack, and wished that the designers back at headquarters had made the costume a bit more insulated instead of airy and breathable.
"Okay," she said to herself. "You can do this. Just find the hideout, save the pony, kick some flank, and make a mad dash for the nearest tropical island."
Blossomforth reached into her pack, pulled out a set of binoculars, and leaped into the air to continue her trek towards Dr. Audubon's hideout. The strong crosswinds immediately started wreaking havoc on her flight path, and she found herself focusing more on staying aloft than scanning the ground. "Whoa!" she screamed as she was nearly blown headfirst into a pine tree.
Why oh why did I ever agree to this superhero shtick? she asked herself as she flew. I could be home watering my daffodils right now, or having cloud fights with Raindrops, or tying Thunderbutt's tail to a tree branch, or doing ANYTHING other than fighting through a blizzard for the privilege of facing an evil genius and his army of henchgriffons singlehoofedly. She swerved to avoid running into another large tree. "Being Fleximare is totally not worth seven hundred extra bits a month," she grumbled.
The sight of a large building sitting by itself in the middle of the tundra brought Blossomforth back to her senses, and she made a beeline for the structure. As she approached, she noticed two armored, spear-wielding griffons standing guard by the building entrance, and decided to find a place to take cover and prepare her grand entrance. She spotted another rock sitting about thirty feet from the building, and quickly dove down behind it.
A brief scan of the area with her binoculars confirmed that the guards she saw were the only ones watching the front door. Blossomforth took another deep breath to steady her nerves, then stuck her binoculars back into her pack and pulled out her mask. "It's go time," she said as she donned the mask.
As the griffons yawned and stared blankly out into the storm, Blossomforth leaped out from behind the rock, performed a wing-aided double twist, and landed on her back hooves about fifteen feet from the guards. "All right, boys!" she shouted. "I'm Fleximare, the incredible bendable mare, and I'm here to teach you a lesson!" She motioned for the guards to approach. "Let's dance!"
One of the guards looked over at the other. "Did you hear something?"
"What?" the other guard replied. "I can't hear you! The way this darn wind is echoing in my helmet, I couldn't hear a train if it ran over my talon!"
"Um, hello?" Blossomforth waved her front hooves wildly at the guards. "Crazy costume lady over here!"
The first guard squinted through the storm at Blossomforth. "I think I see something out there."
"You need to sing about hair? What?"
"Oh, for the love of Celestia..." Blossomforth smacked her face with her hoof, and charged towards the first guard. "Here, try seeing this!" She got right in the guard's face, spun around, and bucked him right between the eyes, knocking him unconscious.
"What the..." The second griffon's jaw fell open in surprise, but before he could respond, Blossomforth cartwheeled over to him and punched his lights out with a heavy right hoof that connected right on the end of his beak.
Blossomforth stood over the guards and admired her work for a moment. "Gee, that wasn't so—yeeeeow!" Her eyes bulged out a little as she realized she had struck the sharpest part of a griffon with the sorest part of her hoof. "Son of a cumulonimbus!" she cursed, her eyes watering as she limped towards the front door. "Why do griffons have to be so pointy?"
The building turned out to be much larger than Blossomforth expected, and it counted a maze of hallways, several strategically-placed security cameras, and a plethora of griffons running around in lab coats among its obstacles. By sticking to the shadows (and ceilings), however, Blossomforth managed to make her way to the very bottom of the building without being spotted.
Waiting in the basement was a high-tech science lab, filled with industrial-grade machinery and griffons dashing around carrying clipboards. The center of attention, however, was a large metal tank covered in hazard symbols sitting in the center of the room. A scraggly-looking griffon sporting a monocle and handlebar mustache stood in front of the tank, and appeared to be lecturing to the griffons around him. "Dr. Audubon, I presume," Blossomforth whispered as she peered through one of the lab doors. "I wonder what he's up to..."
"The time is nigh, my brethren!" Dr. Audubon could be heard screeching inside the lab. "Our new super-weapon is complete, and ready to be unleashed upon the world!" He gestured towards a curtain hanging near the wall. "I give you... The Magic Eraser!"
The curtain was pulled back to reveal a griffon wearing what appeared to be a vacuum strapped to his back. As the crowd oohed and aahed, the griffon walked slowly towards Dr. Audubon while spinning around to model the weapon. "That's his secret weapon?" Blossomforth sputtered. "What, is he going to clean us all to death?"
"Observe!" Dr. Audubon grabbed the hose of the vacuum as his model approached and pressed a button on the nozzle, causing it to spray a green mist into the air. "With this simple act," he proclaimed, "we can bring an end to the era of equine dominance and decadence, and take our rightful place as rulers of the world!"
"Really? Consider me skeptical." Blossomforth rolled her eyes as the griffons cheered.
"Allow me to demonstrate the power of the Magic Eraser!" Dr. Audubon leaped into the air and flew up until he was level with the top of the tank. "Bring in the test subject!"
Two griffon guards stepped into view from behind the tank, with a tired-looking white unicorn with red- and white-streaked hair chained up between them. "Oh shoot, that's Peppermint!" Blossomforth said. "I've got to get in there before they—"
"Our friend here has already been sprayed with a double dose of the Magic Eraser," Dr. Audubon revealed.
"Gosh darn it!" Blossomforth banged her head against the lab door.
As the two griffon guards dragged Peppermint over in front of the tank, another griffon brought out a large Ming vase and set it next to the wobbly-legged pony. "Now then, madam," Dr. Audubon said, "I command you to use your magic to lift that vase off the ground."
Peppermint looked up at Dr. Audubon with bloodshot eyes, and collapsed onto the ground. "Please," she whispered, "you've had me hooked up to your machines for four days now! All I want to do right now is sleep."
"Do it, or we'll be forced to expose you to our more conventional weapons." As Dr. Audubon spoke, the guards pointed their spears in Peppermint's direction.
Peppermint gulped, and then turned her head towards the vase and tried to fire up her magic. She grunted and groaned and gnashed her teeth, but she could only get her horn to sputter and spark, and the vase didn't move.
"Behold! The pony is neutered!" Dr. Audubon cackled. "No longer will ponies be able to hide their inferiority behind their filthy magic! No longer will they be able to keep us at bay with their powers, and grow fat and happy on our spoils! With our weapon, the playing field will finally be leveled, and when it is, we griffons shall rise up and destroy those pathetic little ponies, and show the world that we are the superior species!"
"Okay, this featherbrain's a few apples short of a pie," Blossomforth said as the griffons cheered. "I think it's time to show him just how—" She was interrupted by the tapping of a hoof on her shoulder. "Huh?" she said as she turned around.
POW! The force of the blow sent Blossomforth crashing through the lab doors and tumbling through the crowd of griffons. She eventually came to rest at Peppermint's hooves, and the last thing she saw before the lights went out was the unicorn looking down at her and asking "Who are you?"