//------------------------------// // Blank Spaces:Old Faces // Story: Tainted Gifts // by Touch of Darkness //------------------------------// I walked through the door to the hotel room. It was small, and a little dingy. “It was the best I could find. I hope you don’t mind.”, said a voice behind me. “Naw. Compared to what I have been through in the last week, this is a gift from Celestia.” I set my stuff on one of the two beds, and then turned to face the voice. Kind brown eyes met mine, and I smiled. “You’re smiling again.” I turned away, and clenched my fists. “Damn it Terrance! Don’t say that!” “It’s not bad to smile Cerus.” “I don’t smile.” “But you do.” “It hurts me. At least, that’s what my mind tells me.” I felt hands grip my shoulders, and I looked back up into Terrance’s eyes. A little bit of his shoulder length, silver colored hair fell in his way, but he made no move to get rid of it. “Your mind tells you that you are a cold blooded killer, and that killers shouldn’t smile. I think that all humans smile, and Cerus, no matter what you think, you are most definitely human.” He gave my shoulders a squeeze, and I chuckled and smiled again. “You’re doing it again.” “Terrance!”, I cried, and slugged him in the arm. While my face burned red and I got flustered, he laughed heartily. That is, if his quiet, innocent laughter could be considered hearty. I guess that is what made me like Terrance so much. Even though he had seen me through fourteen murders, he was innocent. His hand had never touched a weapon, and no blood had ever been shed by him. “Hey, let’s take care of that wound. I don’t want it to get infected.”, Terrance said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked down at my shirt, where there was a visible tear and a blood stain, and then back at Terrance. “It’s a scratch. Don’t worry about it.” Terrance cocked an eyebrow. “Cerus, get your little ass over here so I can take care of your ‘scratch’.” I feigned an exasperated sigh. “Fine!” I walked over to the bathroom. The light was already on, and some medical supplies that Terrance always carried around in a little backpack were already out. I took off my shirt, and sat down on the counter beside the sink. Terrance walked in, and then came over to me. He hunched over, and looked closely at the wound in my side. “She got you pretty good.” He turned to the supplies, and grabbed some bandaging tape and gauze. Then, he turned back to me. “The bullet scraped by me. That’s really about it.” “I know. She got you good.” I looked at him, confused, and then realized that he was implying that she got me pretty good in comparison to my skill in my other murders. “That bitch knew how to fight.” “No, she didn’t know how to fight. She knew how to think on the spot and run at the same time.” “I-” “Shut it. Everytime you talk, your chest heaves. I am trying to put on bandages here.” “Sor-” “Zip!” Terrance looked up at me, and rolled his eyes, though the negativity of the action was negated by the smile that was plastered on his face. I looked away in feigned contempt. “Just hold still for a little bit.” In the silence that followed this, I had some more time to self reflect. As I did often when I self reflected, I thought about the relationship me and Terrance shared. He was twenty five years old, with the energy and spunk of a child. He was only about five seven, a result of his mainly Japanese heritage. He was also part caucasian, but that only showed in his fair skin and in the shape of his eyes, which were round, instead of the almond-shaped eyes that were commonplace of Asians. “Are you almost done?” “Yeah. Hold still a little longer…” Terrance was a patient man, and I had never seen him lose his composure over anything. He was kind, soft spoken, and amiable. If he wanted to you to be his friend, he would succeed in less than an hour. His smile, which was warm and welcoming, made you trust him instantly. A devout pacifist and extrovert, he never broke a promise, and had never been the instigator in fights. This was the kind of man whose worst enemies, if he had any to begin with, still had a decent amount of respect for. Most of all, the thing that stood out the most to me, was that he was my only true friend. He was the only one I could ever turn to for help, the only one that I could open up to. “Now?” “Yes Cerus, I’m done.” I let out a stream of babbling, and flailed my arms around in exaggerated relief. If my side hadn’t hurt the way it did, I might have jumped off the counter and ran around the room. Terrance just raised an eyebrow. “You are a strange child, you know that right?” “You know me. How could I not?” Terrance chuckled and backed up, taking one last look at me. His eyes widened a little bit. “Jesus…” This word was highly uncommon in Equestria, as many humans living here had turned to Celestia, but it still had the potency it did back on Earth. “What is it?” I asked, slightly unnerved by this sudden remark. “You look like Death man...” I looked in the mirror, and took in my appearance. I had bags under my eyes. My skin was pulled tight, and my ribs were starting to become visible. I was usually fair skinned, but now I was sickly and pale, and I looked exhausted, which I was. My dark green eyes were cold and haunted. My short black hair was disheveled and had lost its luster. I chuckled softly, and looked back at Terrance, slipping my shirt back on. “Suits me well, doesn’t it?” Terrance sighed and shook his head. “That isn’t funny. You need to sleep and you need to eat.” I scowled, and then nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Two days without sleep and four without proper nutrition probably wasn’t all too good for me.” “Hey, at least we got it done.” I let out an exasperated huff. “You’d think that a woman of her stature might have been more civilized, but no, she just so happens to be a fuckin’ genius when it comes to tricks, traps, and lies.” “Never underestimate a business man or woman, especially the high rank ones. There was a reason they made it up so many rungs of the ladder, and being able to use a calculator wasn’t one of them.” “Well, she’s done with, so hopefully no more business people.” Terrance smirked. “Like you have a say in the matter.” “Hey, whatever happens, happens, but I personally don’t want to go through that again. Aside from the fun I had in trying to catch her, it was quite literally hell. Too many innocents were used and dispensed by her in trying to throw us off.” “Let’s just take our minds off of her and enjoy this rest and relaxation while it lasts. Our next job could come at any time.” I nodded. “Good point.” We exited the bathroom. Terrance went to his bed and sat down on it. I leaned against the wall, and looked out the window of our room. It was too dark to make out anything more than a couple streetlamps. I felt a yawn come up, and was powerless to stop it from coming out. “Fuck me…” “Go to sleep man. If anything happens that requires your presence, then I will wake you up.” I stretched, and crossed my arms. “Thanks Terri dear.”, I said with a smirk. Terrance growled. “You bastard! I thought you forgot about that!”, he hissed. “Consider it payback for making me smile.” “I...you...fine. Just go to sleep before the urge to knock you out is irresistible.” He tried hard to bite back a smile, but it failed in the end. He was too humored and good hearted to keep it back. However, he did flip me off, which sparked my good humour, and I chuckled softly. Then, I turned to the bed I had put my stuff on. After pulling my stuff off it, I jumped onto it without changing and without getting under the covers. I closed my eyes, and a numbness swept through my body. My sense of reality began to dampen, and then- I shot up, and proceeded to hit my head on the bottom of a bed, making a surprisingly sickening crack as the wood slat I had hit split somewhat from the force of the impact. I fell back and hissed in pain. I heard a little gasp and a quiet cry of shock, but my mind, still spinning from hitting my head, didn’t register it. “Ah...fuck!”, I cursed through clenched teeth. I rubbed the place where I had hit my head with my hands, and felt a little blood on my fingertips. I pulled back my hands, and realized that it wasn’t all blood. I was drenched in a cold sweat, something definitely not caused my suffocating clothes. “Cerus? You okay?” Having not quite remembered where I was, the voice startled me. I flinched, and shot up again in surprise, only to hit my head again, but this time, the slat gave out and snapped, and sharp splinters poked my wound. I cried out in pain for the second time, and I felt myself go numb with shock, but still managed to unconsciously suppress the decibels. I felt hooves grab me, and I was dragged out from under the bed. Applebloom’s concerned, but also slightly mocking eyes looked into mine. There was a quarter sized red and purple bump on the side of her face, and I felt nausea pass through me as I recalled the sound that had been made when she had gotten that mark. “You’d thinking having done it once, you wouldn’t have let it happen again, especially someone that thinks as critically as you do.” For a couple seconds, I just stared back into her eyes as the shock wore off. Then, I sat up, and rubbed my eyes. “I hate mornings...hate ‘em with a fuckin’ vengeance…” “Trust me, you’re not alone.” I turned to Applebloom with a toxic expression in my eyes. “I’m okay. Thanks for asking. Only bleeding and-” “I asked when you first hit your head, so don’t have attitude with me.” “First of all, you asking scared the shit out of me. Second, you do realize that I hit my head pretty damn hard, right? I wasn’t thinking all too clearly. Still a little loopy, to be honest.” “You don’t think I didn’t get scared? I’ll tell you what, you hitting your head on my bed frame made for quite an amazing alarm. Thanks to you, I don’t think I’ll be late to school today.” “Oh ha ha. Very funny. You should join a group.” “Your sarcasm manages to even to make me dull.” “Like I had any reason for it to-” Applebloom cut me off by putting a hoof to my mouth. “Shut up for a minute, okay? Let me go get some bandages for your head. Your incessant rambling is just making you bleed more.” She got up, and walked to the door. She opened it quietly, stepped out, and then closed it just as quietly. I waited in silence for a couple minutes, reflecting on the strange correlation between my dream and the events occurring at the moment. When she came back in, she had a box of gauze and bandages in her mouth. She set them down beside me. “Hold still while I clean this up.” She took out some of the gauze, and began wiping up the blood. “Thanks for helping me Applebloom.” She continued to wipe the blood from my forehead, but her eyes locked with mine, and she smiled. “Hey, I am taking you in to keep you safe. The least I could do would be to keep you from bleeding out to death after hitting your head because of a nightmare.” Her eyes left mine to look back at the wound on my head. “It wasn’t a nightmare…” “Of course it-” Applebloom froze, and her eyes darted back to mine. “Wait...what?” “It wasn’t a nightmare.” “Then what had you up in such a fright?” “The fact that it was a good dream.” Applebloom shook her head, and continued tending to my head. “You’re making zero sense.” “It was a good dream, but a dream I never want to have.” “Why?” “It’s...too hard to explain right now. We’ll see where this little escapade takes us. If I am still here when the time is right, I will try my best to explain.” Applebloom reached into the bandage box, and pulled out a big bandage. “When will you know the time is right?” She peeled the backing off the bandage, and then gently placed the bandage over my wound. “I don’t know. Let’s stop talking about this. I just want to get my mind off the subject right now.” “Okay Cerus. I won’t bring it up again.” She smiled again, and backed away. “All better.” “Thanks Applebloom.” “Well, unless you get an infection, at which point-” “Oh hush you.” Applebloom giggled, a innocent sound that was as soothing as it was raucous to my ears. I hated innocence. It was pleasant, but whenever I encountered it, I was reminded that I would never have it ever again. “Applebloom? Are you okay?”, I heard Applejack ask. The door opened, and I thought for sure I was going to be caught. Then, in the split second before Applejack would have seen me, I saw a glint in Applebloom’s eyes. She pushed me down and slammed her other hoof into the ground at the same time, masking the sound of my head lightly smacking the ground. Taking the chance, I rolled under the bed, bringing the medical supplies with me. There was silence for a second. “What the hell was that?” “That, big sis, was you scaring the piss out of me.” As I lay under the bed, my mind tried to process what had just happened. “Why are you on the ground?” “I was on the edge of my bed, thinking about things, and then you came bargin’ in. Instinctively, I jumped, and then found myself on the ground.” “And that sound?” “That was me hitting the ground.” “What about that sound earlier?” “What sound?” “It was like a crack, or a bang, or something.” “Oh that! I have no idea. It woke me up though.” “Huh. Strange.” “Yeah. Very.” I heard a coldness enter Applebloom’s voice, as she apparently recalled what she had gone through the night before. “App-” “If it’s about last night...I’m sorry…” “You think saying sorry is gonna fix that, sis? You hit me across the face. Everypony is going to wonder about this bump, and you know it.” “Applebloom, I really don’t know what to say…” “Good. Don’t try to pull yourself out of this mess. You deserve to learn this lesson.” Things were getting intense very quickly. I felt the hatred radiating off Applebloom’s body, just inches from my face. I wanted to intervene, but was stuck knowing that I couldn’t. “Sis-” “And you know what I’m gonna tell my friends? I’m gonna tell them that this is what life with you is like! I’m gonna get one of them to take me in! I’m-” “Apple-” “You know, life was good before Big Mac left! You were actually nice!” “I know that you’re still upset that he’s gone, but Applebloom, he has a wife and a family, and-” “Fuck his wife! Fuck his family!” Applejack gasped in shock. I felt lightheaded. This was too much for me. I hated when families fought like this. I was desperate to make it stop, and was just about ready to intervene. “Applebloom!” I prepared myself, hoping my surprise appearance would shock Applejack into silence long enough for me to lock the door and make sure she couldn’t leave. “I don’t give a shit! Punish me if you want! Just one more damn thing to add to my list of grudges against you!” I moved as if to crawl out, but found that my body seemed to have a mind of it’s own, and I could not muster up the guts to enact my plan. “Applebloom please-” “Shut up! Just shut up for once! You are always telling me what to do, always ordering me ordering me around, always beating me! Please just get out of my sight!” “Applebloom, I can explain last night. Just let me speak.” Applebloom shuddered, and then let out a small growl. “Fine. Not like I care.” There was a moment of silence. “I...um...” Applejack went quiet “You what?” Applejack sighed. “I was drunk last night. I’m so sorry…” I felt the anger stop radiating from Applebloom, but it was quickly replaced with resentment. “Applejack...w-we...you made me a promise!” “I feel so guilty Applebloom. The taxes keep getting higher, and I’m making less and less money each year, especially with your brother not around to help me anymore. I am getting more stressed than is probably healthy for me. Last night, a couple hours before I picked you up, I came across Rainbow Dash. When she saw me, she forced me to take a de-stressing session with her. Of course, for her, that meant going to the bar and getting wasted. I tried to fight it, but I was so high strung that after that first relieving drink, I couldn’t stop myself.” “So...the thing about my coltfriend…” “I had no idea what I was saying. All I knew is that I was mad for some reason, but I was too drunk to think logically. After you went to sleep, and I sobered up, I went to the hospital to clarify. They confirmed your story for me, and I felt so guilty. I had shouted at you and hit you just because I was too drunk to have any other mentality. I’m an embarrassment. I’m a worthless drunk...” There was another tense moment of silence. I waited, expecting something extreme. However, when Applebloom spoke again, the resentment had left her voice. “Under the circumstances, I understand why you’d want to drink.” Applebloom chuckled. “I guess I made you a lightweight again.” Applejack let out an awkward laugh. “I guess so...but Applebloom, I don’t want this to be a laughing matter.” “Sorry...I needed-” “I understand. You went through a lot yesterday. We are both pretty high-strung” “Thanks big sis.” I saw Applebloom walk over to Applejack, and though I couldn’t see it directly, I knew that they hugged each other. “Can you please promise me that you won’t drink anymore?” “Well…” “If you ever feel the need to drink, just come talk with me. I’ll help you destress. You don’t need to turn to alcohol every time you feel pressured.” “I...I guess.” Applebloom turned to her bed and jumped onto it. “We can have heart to hearts, you know? Just talk to each other and bond.” “Yeah, that sounds great.” “Celestia knows you need it…” I mused quietly. “What was that?”, Applejack asked, a sudden sound of wariness entering her voice. “I didn’t hear anything.", Applebloom quickly replied. “Oh...Okay then...I’m gonna leave you to get ready for school.” “Thanks Applejack.” I heard the door shut, and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding. I slowly rolled out from under the bed, and then sat on the edge of it. “Cerus?” I turned to Applebloom, letting her gentle eyes search mine. She opened her mouth, but then promptly closed it, and turned away. “Nevermind.” She got off the bed and walked to her bedroom door. “What?” “Don’t worry about it. You don’t seem like a hugger anyway...” With that, she stepped out of the room and left me alone in an oppressing silence. Her words resounded in my head, and I felt a small tug on a heart that I didn’t know existed. You don’t seem like a hugger anyway… Applebloom left with a friend of hers, something Belle, about an hour after she had her argument with Applejack. Just before she had left, she had come into to room to tell me to hide out until about noon. She told me that Applejack was going to leave around that time, and wouldn’t be coming back for a couple days. When I asked Applebloom why, she simply said that Applejack was selling part of the property to a willing buyer, and was heading out of town to do paperwork and settle deals on the property. So, I waited under the bed for at least three hours, thankful that patience had been trained into me by my company. Finally, as Applebloom had said, Applejack left around noon, leaving me alone in the house. Though I wanted to get up and walk around, I still felt exhausted, both physically and mentally. Obeying my urge to rest, I climbed onto the bed, slipped under the covers, and fell asleep once more. A newspaper opened to the obituary. Two faces, one a man, one a woman, crossed out. Next to them, the face of a child, a boy not looking older than five or six. Many wet spots on the paper, with more forming as tears fell. Wait, tears? Whose were they? More tears. Why do I feel so mad? What was going on? A bloodcurdling shout of rage, and the paper is torn to pieces. I feel rage seeping into my blood, clouding my judgement, but I don’t understand why. A chair is thrown across the room. More tears, now wetting the cold marble ground. FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU CELESTIA, OR GOD, OR WHOEVER THE FUCK IS SITTING ON THE DAMN DESK MARKED IMPORTANT UP THERE IN THE SKY! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!? I scream those words, but I do not know why. Hands. They clench. They shake. A blackness begins to envelop them. Stop! Don’t do it! Don’t- The slight touch against my arm was enough to wake me. My eyes opened, quickly registering that it was late in the day. In a panic, I sat up, muscles tensed as if to jump or run, but Applebloom, sitting next to the bed, placed a hoof on my hand, and I stilled and looked into her eyes. Whereas I knew my eyes were full of fear and confusion and maybe even hatred, Applebloom’s stayed calm and reassuring. She climbed onto the bed with me, and before I could say a thing, wrapped her hooves around me, and leaned into me. I wanted to push her away, for I didn’t want comfort, but I couldn’t get myself to do it. It was when she looked back into my eyes that I realized why. They were full of compassion, the one thing I had been without for my entire life. It was a miracle that I even saw it for what it was. “A-” “Shh...don’t say a word…” I was compelled to listen and obey her. I found myself longing for her embrace to last forever, which at I first I thought strange, but then realized that her embrace was comforting. Comforting. That was an adjective I never thought would attach to anyone. However, even though I barely knew Applebloom, that word fit her. I don’t how, but she understood my problem. She understood the despair that I suffered from. She understood, and she was willing to console me. She was just what I had needed my entire life. Someone who could understand. Content and having a feeling of asylum, I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes. Her initial reaction was a flinch, but then her grip tightened and she nuzzled closer to me. “Thank you Applebloom…” “Anytime Cerus…” Minutes passed, maybe even hours. It took me a while to realize she had fallen asleep in my arms. I laid her gently on the bed. I smiled, and though it was sad and pained, it was my first true smile in many years. “Sweet dreams Applebloom…” I got off the bed, and exited the room. Then, I went downstairs and exited the house. I didn’t know where I was going, or what I would do. However, I knew one thing. Applebloom was not going to be hurt because of me. She was too innocent, too sacred, too one of kind to let her be taken out by some goon. I would sacrifice my life to protect that young mare, even if doing so meant giving up everything that made me human along the way.