The Adventures of
Duke Hoof’em Episode 1
By: Thunderstarwarp
The Gala was an annual event for all for all of Equestria. However, only a select few can go for the annual event by invitation. This year was the first for the Mane six, and all of them were excited and all for different reasons. Applejack wanted to raise money for some necessary improvements around the farm, Rainbow Dash wanted to meet the Wonderbolts in person, Fluttershy wanted to see the garden, and so fourth.
Princess Celestia over looked the event herself watching everything unfold. She invited many and all of them were renowned for there tasks. Twilight and the mane six was there for there accomplishment of stopping Nightmare Moon. Others were there who have done special tasks for the Princess but it was recognized that Twilight earned hers. The only one who rivaled them was a single Stallion named Duke Hoof’em.
Duke was a black stallion earth pony with a blond shave top mane with sunglasses. His cutie mark was a nuclear symbol. Like usual he was wearing a red shirt with grenade launcher shells around his neck. Also like usual he had a holster on one of his forelegs that contained a golden Colt 1911, engraved was his Cutie Mark. There was also a wire that was out that Duke pulled that fired the gun on command.
Duke is from Amareica (No, its spelled right just look at it), best known for being the savoir of the planet many times for Alien invaders of Equestria. What many residences of Equestria don’t know is that magic doesn’t work often on those who are not of Equestria so even Celestia couldn’t do much, and that is where Duke stepped in. He was the one Pony to bring any alien invaders to their knees. This includes Pigs, Xernomorphs, Cybertronians, Tamerians, Cornerians, and so forth.
Duke was currently alone acting much like a security guard even though he really was never assigned to such a thing. Usually he would be the Stallion he is and try to get with one or more Mares but he was smart enough to know that none of the ones that were invited would be like that. If he was going to get a mare, he’d have to try harder and impress them, and saying he was a savior wouldn’t cut, it would have to be more personal.
He walked around looking for something where he may have some luck. After walking around for an hour he noticed an orange mare with green eyes trying to sell apple based products with little success. He looked at it from a distance and saw that this was probably the best it was going to get. Not that he didn’t find the mare attractive; it was more like he usually liked to get multiple mares.
But he wasn’t one to not appreciate whatever he can get so he decided to just take what he can get and just see where it can go. He immediately walked over to her stand and started to see what she had.
“Hey babe, how about some apple fritters.” The stallion asked the orange mare.
The orange pony turned to him “Really, it’s about time! No one has even taken a look at my stand.”
“Hmm, how come?” Duke asked actually legitimately curious.
“Ah don’t know. Ah guess no one likes apples here…” she seemed clearly discouraged but did give him a few apple fritters as he pulled out a few bits to pay for them.
“Thanks, names Duke Hoof’em by the way.” He introduced.
“Duke Hoof’em?” the mare question “Oh! Ah’ve heard of you! You saved Equestria a few times back in Amareica few years ago. Ah didn’t even know you were here.”
The stallion smirked as he ate three of them in one bite “I go where I please…and I please where I go.”
“Come again?” she said glaring at him.
Duke backed down seeing that it wouldn’t be as easy as he thought. “Ah, thanks…um…”
“Applejack, if you’re all curious.” Obviously this line wasn’t missed by her and this wasn’t going anywhere near as easy as he thought.
He quickly ate the other fritters he purchased and left the stand. This wasn’t going to be easy as he thought. So he decided to do something he thought he wouldn’t do in a long time, actually come up with a strategy and not just gunning it. He had little to go one but he was sure that he could come up with something he could work with.
“She did say she had little business…I can change that.” And with that the Stallion smirked. He knew he’d also have to do something that he wasn’t experienced that well either…being subtle about it. He would have to do it from a distance, not necessarily in front of her.
So the Stallion began looking for anyone who wasn’t particularly busy. Eventually he found a well dressed brown stallion with a hammer cutie mark just looking around the festivities “Hey.”
“Excuse me?” The stallion said facing the much larger stallion, which did intimate him.
“Have you ever had any of those Apple pies at the stand there?” Duke said motioning it with his head.
Stallion looked to see what he was talking about and then turned back to him “Um…no I’m not really in the mood for-”
“I outta break my hoof off in your ass!” the much larger stallion yelled at him and intimating the stallion even further.
“S-Sir…I…um” the stallion trembled as the much larger stallion got closer.
“Go buy some pies…” he ordered slowly.
The stallion didn’t need to be told twice as he immediately went over and from a distance Duke watched the whole thing from there and the stallion was quite aware of that. From there Duke saw him buy two pies and with that he walked away to find another customer for Applejack.
In a few minuets he ran into a high class mare, who was attractive but Duke was smart enough to know that he wouldn’t have a chance with her so he merely decided to get to the point “Evening miss” Duke said in a polite but still ‘Duke’ manner of tone.
“Oh, evening sir.” The blue mare said kind of appalled by the dress code he was wearing considering the occasion. “Have you tried some of them fritters at the stand?”
The mare only raised a brow “Excuse me? I have no interest in apples as of late so-”
“How about a bonus?” Duke said trying to see where he can go with this.
“Excuse me?”
“How about I pay for them?” It really was all he could think of aside from asking her to take her to bed. It really wasn’t anything he couldn’t afford; Duke is one of the richest ponies in all of Equstria after all.
“Um…that would be nice but-” with that Duke shoveled out a few bits out from his pouch that was by his 1911 and tossed the coins.
“Um…thank you…” surprisingly she did go get some apple fritters that Duke gave to her. After admiring her flank, he left to go find another.
He went into the garden area where there few ponies admiring it, especially the yellow pegasus that was flying about. Duke was going to ask her but then saw another rich looking stallion and decided to go with him instead. He was larger than the last stallion but Duke was still far larger than he was. He was a blue colored unicorn with star cutie mark looking at some flowers.
“Excuse me sir.” The stallion said rudely walking past Duke before he could even say anything.
“Hey, where you think you’re going?” Duke growled.
“I was going out of this garden. I must say I’m far unimpressed.”
“How will apples appeal to yah?” Duke asked trying to get rid of getting pissed off.
“I can’t stand the stuff. How any pony likes them is beyond me.”
Duke decided a more direct approach “They’re pretty good. All the way from Ponyville.”
“Such a condition…I said no! Wanna fight about it?” the stallion threaten the larger while glowing his horn.
While his eyes were covered with his sunglasses, his brows showed he was glaring at the unicorn which actually intimated him “I’m not going to fight you, I’m going to hoof your ass!”
Duke then jumped toward him and did a double hoof to this face with his back legs forcing the unicorn to the air and hitting him into a tree, shocking a few ponies. “You’re going to buy some apples right?”
The unicorn used his forelegs to rub his jaw and smiled nervously and nodded before running inside to get some apple based products. Duke smirked and got back down to work.
The rest of the night consisted of Duke looking for ponies that weren’t busy and forcing them, one way or another to by something from Applejack’s stand. So he had to force or intimidate but others were more than willing to do so. Some were willing just because it was Duke himself, due to popularity and the fact he has saved the world several times himself.
After a couple hours, Duke managed to clean out all of Applejack’s baked goods and other apple based products and it was all thanks to him. And Duke was planning on getting that thanks…
The black stallion walked over to the empty stand where the orange mare was cleaning up. “Sorry Duke, I’m all sold out.” Duke was about to say something but she flashed a knowing smile “Now you didn’t hav ta go out do all that yah know.”
Duke was somewhat surprised “But how did you know?”
The orange mare chuckled “hmph, if you know whut subtle means. You’d be able to fool me.” Duke only crocked his neck “But Ah appreciate it. This should at least be enough to pay for Granny’s hip and maybe the plow for ‘ol Macintosh.”
Duke then made his move “So, you want me to come your place or you come to mine?”
“Ah beg yur pardon?”