//------------------------------// // the boredom eases slightly in favour of cringe // Story: Everything Hates Me: A Bronys Adventure // by Narshlog117 //------------------------------// Chapter Eight, Apples, so many Apples… I woke up in the morning groggy as ever, to the sound of my watch bleeping. I let it continue for a while, and then realised I had to get up. I brought it to my eyes and waited for them to focus properly. 07:30. Good. The alarm system on my watch had a tendency to sound at the complete wrong time, so I had to set it again every night to make sure it did as it was told. I swung my legs out over the sofa, and stretched them. Arms next, I then cracked my knuckles, neck and rubbed my back. I stood up, stretched again, and went to the kitchen. Hmm, getting low on supplies I thought. I reckon I’ll go shopping today when I’m done helping Applejack. I grabbed a piece of fruit that would go off in a couple of days so as to make the rest of the stock last, and went out the door. Jogging, why not? I pondered, and started of slow at first because I had only just awoke, but I quickly got to a reasonable pace, taking in all my surroundings. Ponyville really was a place of wonder, not just because of the citizens but it looked amazing, sure it was an incredibly girly colour scheme, but what do you expect from a TV show that was aimed at young girls. It was dead this time of the morning, but in half an hour, shops would start to open, ponies would come outside to do their jobs, and by nine o’clock, everypony would be up and ready for what the day threw at them. I liked going about places early in the morning when no one in the area is up, but the sun is out, it’s like it would be in the middle of the day, but without the bustling population, this way you could really appreciate the area. I didn’t know where I was going, but I had always had a decent sense of direction and I knew how to get back. At just eight, I could remember the way to Newcastle by car, and recognise random areas from my childhood. I would pick a new direction each day, or alter where I go if I head in the same direction as I had previously, building up a mental map of the area. Soon it was ten to, and I made my way back. I hadn’t been out long, but I was going to need to be at Sweet Apple Acres by quarter past. When I got back, I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I had seen better days, that was for sure, and I was starting to get a tache and thicker cheek and neck hair again. It was inevitable, I didn’t have a razor here, I needed some knives and a machete. Machetes are useful, I can make wooden objects with machetes, and it might be useful to have a club or something for the apple trees, but I’ll have to shake and kick the trees for now. Unless they sell razors in Ponyville, I had no idea. I just had to put up with it for now. Twilight must still be in bed I thought. Spike was in his basket murmuring romantics about Rarity when I came back downstairs, and all the blinds were still down. I looked for my fez, but I realised I took it off and left it in the bathroom. I didn’t want to go back up and run the risk of waking her, so I decided to leave it. I thought of leaving a note, but then I realised She knows where I’m going, so I’ll just leave. And I did. When I got to Sweet Apple Acres, I was greeted by an energetic Applejack. Although, when is she anything but energetic? I thought. “Hiya Applejack” I smiled. “Howdy” She smiled back. “How y’all doing?” “Ah, I’m ok I suppose” “Hows Twi?” “Fine I expect, she was still sleeping when I left, so I didn’t want to wake her” “Ah fair enough, well, these apples sure ain’t gonna buck themselves, let’s get to it” She leads me to the first field as she talks a bit about her family and Sweet Apple Acres’ history amongst other stuff. When we got there I was gobsmacked. So many apples, so little time. There must have been hundreds, no, thousands of apple trees. I gave an impressed whistle. The sheer amount of them was almost impossible. “And you have to do this? All by yourself? As well as saving the world and still finding time for friends and family? Bloody hell, your some pony!” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Well… Big Mac helps ‘N’ all, but…” “But nothing, hell I wouldn’t be able to do it all in time! This is a redicules amount of apples, if they didn’t rot, this lot alone would feed Ponyville for years!” “Well, like I say, since y’all realise how few ponies we got here helping us, we’d better get a move on!” She moves to the first tree and bucks it. Apples rain from the sky. I move to the one next to it and give it rap with my knuckles. Applejack stops to watch me and see what I do. I then give it a shake full of vigour and I get the exact same outcome. She went off to find another tree, but I saw her poking her head out from behind it to watch me take another. The next tree I picked was a hell of a lot bigger, so I had to kick it. That didn’t work. I give it a bigger, solid kick with my heel. No luck. Applejack sniggers and I ignore her. I turn around take ten steps away from it, stop, turn around again, sprint full pelt and then gave it the hardest two footed kick I could in the thick of the trunk. I fell down of course because I, unlike Applejack, don’t have four legs. Reluctantly, the tree gave up its fruit. There must have been eighty apples from this one tree alone, all thunking into the buckets and she watched in awe as they all tumbled down. She looked at me with her mouth open. “Mighty mother me, I’ve never been able to buck that tree myself it’s so big, I have to get Big Mac to do all them big un’s, and even then it takes him three or four of the strongest bucks he can muster and y’all only needed one!” I took off my invisible hat to her, and then one last apple fell down and landed on my head as if to say “And another thing…” She started to laugh again and I picked myself off the ground to continue beating up trees. Four and a quarter hours later, it was half past twelve and my stomach rumbled at me. “Heh, looks like somepony’s complaining!” Then hers rumbled too as if on purposely trying to show her up. I raised an eyebrow and she looked sideways at her belly. “That it does” I reply. “We’d better grab something to eat” We wandered off back to the barn. “Thanks for helpin’ me out DMT” “Ah, it’s alright, I need to have something to do each day or I’ll end up going stir crazy and being depressed again. I’m quite happy to come and help you out anytime I’m not already busy” “That’d be dandy, but if y’all do get depressed, don’t keep it down deep inside, come ‘N’ see any six of us, I’m sure not of us will mind” “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to tell if I’m depressed or unhappy, I’ve never been any good at hiding these things unless I have no current alternative and have to put it aside for the good of someone in danger or situations similar to that” “Well, all the same… Here’s ten bits and a little sack of apples for your troubles, now y’all go and get something to eat, I’m gonna do the same” “Are the apples going to be ok out there?” “Ah don’t worry about them, Big Macs gonna collect all the buckets on the cart later” “Alright then, bye now” I gave her a cheery wave and headed off. “See y’all” she shouted back. Lunch… I pondered. What am I going to have for lunch? I didn’t really know anywhere I could go to eat something more… Human. I’ve only had fruit all the time I’ve been here, I need more variation in my diet or I’m gonna go mental. I walked past a river on the way back and stopped. I looked into it and spotted several silvery things swimming around. Now that’s an idea! Fish! …Unless they’re also sentient beings of course, I don’t want to go and get myself arrested for murder. Even the bloody cows here had opinions on the weather and economy, so they might be. If I can’t have a steak, fish is the next best thing. The thought of meat pleased me, so I quickened my pace and changed directions heading to (LOCAL BLACKSMITH / GUY WHO COULD SELL A MACHETE). “You’d better look out you bastard fish! You’re not safe anymore!”