It’s been over a year now since I met Fluttershy and just yesterday she declared that she’s given up on her friends coming for her. The news was hard to accept for her and I because she was so determined on her friends but as the months went on that hope began to fade. She’s distant now, almost lifeless but her kindness still remains and is fighting hard. The same day she gave the news she asked what it felt like to be alone not long after, I wanted to smack her for even considering the question. But, I could never hurt her, maybe when we first met but not now, not when she’s in pain. Not when she’s living my life right now.
I told her it was a horrible experience, possibly the worst thing you could ever go through. You have no one to hold onto, no one to talk to, it’s just you. You only have yourself to blame, to hold up, to fight for and to cry with. Everyday you wonder why you live in the hell that is life.
A shell forms over time, a shell that hides you from the world and cuts you off from just about everything. I thought it was impossible to ever come out of it but when Fluttershy came the surface of my thick shell cracked. It continued throughout the year and i’m finally seeing some light but as I peek through the small holes I only see a sad mare wallowing in despair.
It was late in the afternoon, Fluttershy and I were watching the sun’s last moments before the moons rises up to shine our paths for this night. We were up on a small hill leaning against a tree that was actually behind my house. I usually came here to wallow in my despair or just watch the day pass by, it’s nice to finally have someone with me to share this but not in these circumstances.
We didn’t really say much but I wanted to get her to at least smile a little, “I wonder when winter will come.” I wondered as I turned to Fluttershy.
“Well it’s mid summer so hopefully it won’t be too long of a wait.” mumbled Fluttershy quietly as she continued to stare out into the distance, hardly moving in the slightest.
I was silent for a moment, “Um yeah...I hope so too because I love the cold.”
“I don’t like it,” she said, “I’m always cold and need someone warm to hold onto.”
“Well I don’t mind holding you if you’re cold, last thing I want is for you getting sick. You’re even colder and you’re snotty and coughy and bleh, just not good.”
“Hmm hmm...You’re weird.” she smiled faintly, “But thank you for the kindness.”
My body lit up with a bit of joy, “If I’m weird then is a talking mythical horse normal?” we chuckled at my remark, “And...You may be alone right now but I’m here for you.”
She nodded in response, “...Would it be ok if you hold me right now?”
Our faced blushed somehow in sink, “Um...Y-yeah, sure no problem.” Fluttershy awkwardly huddled over to me and buried her face in my chest as I gently held her.
She started to quietly cry soon after, “Thank you for being here.” she said, “I know this must be scaring you but i’m really trying my best. I just don’t know what to do now, where do I go now? How am I supposed to survive in a world that’s not meant for me?” her body trembled as she continued, when she finally took a moment to breath the moon was just at its peak. The entire time I never let go, my shirt was soaking wet from tears and snot but I didn’t care much for that.
“Did you get it all out?” I questioned, Fluttershy shrugged her shoulders, “Well if you did I want to tell you that I’m here for you. If you need me to hold you again I will, I don’t care what happens between us but you can tell me anything. A being like you doesn’t deserve this pain, the pain I went through myself, the pain that is my life but when you came a light appeared. A light that I never seen before and it's warms and fuzzy. That light is you Fluttershy, throughout the year we’ve spent you nearly brought me out of my shell that formed when I was very young. No matter what I will not let that light fade, I will follow it to the ends of earth if I have to because I never want to return to that shell of mine where it’s cold and dark. I want to live in this light Fluttershy, I want t live in it with you...” I spoke from my heart, all that was said was true, not one word was made up and when I pulled back I saw that faint smile but much stronger now.
“Thank you...Thank you so much!” she pulled me back in and held me tightly, “You can’t imagine how I feel to hear all that.”
I smiled warmly from her response, “I should be thanking you My Dear Fluttershy. I’m lucky to have ever met a being such as you.”
Not too long after we went back inside, had a late dinner and called it a night. Fluttershy still kept her smile the whole time and I even offered her to sleep with me. This was the start of a new chapter in not only my life, but in both our lives and I was overjoyed to have her, My Dear Fluttershy, by my side the whole time.