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// oh look. another horse. 
// Story: Everything Hates Me: A Bronys Adventure 
// by Narshlog117 
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Chapter Four, Alive…ish


I woke up to another big eye in my face. A much bigger eye albeit, but an eye none the less. The owner of that eye smiled 

“Ah” she sighed “You are awake. Good. Are you alright?” 

So it’s not just humans that ask blisteringly obvious questions. I had been sledging with my cousin once in a field not too far from my house. We had given each little section of it titles, you had a slight descent at one end which we nicknamed ‘The Baby Park’ The part next to it was steeper ‘The regular’ The part next to that, steeper still and bumpy too ‘Shaken and Stirred’ And finally ‘Death Valley’ I’ll let you guess why we called it that. We went on all but The Baby Park, and when it came to Death Valley I fell off my sledge face first into the snow. 

I quickly got up and looked at it, still ploughing down the hill “Wait! Come back!” I yelled at it and gave chase. Not such a good idea as it turned out. There was a rabbit hole underneath the snow and as I ran, my right foot landed in it, my leg stopped, the rest of me did not. The end result – My kneecap shattered and my leg bent the wrong way. 

As I lay screaming in pain my cousin came over and the first thing he asked was “Are you alright?” he asked with a slight frown.

“DO I LOOK ALRIGHT!?!? LOOK AT MY FUCKING LEG!!!” And I pointed to it. I then had exactly the same conversation with the first seven doctors that saw me afterwards. 

I looked at Celestia “I’ll give you three guesses” and struggled to my feet.

She smiled at me “I am Princess Celestia, and you are?” I went to shake her hoof. 

“The names DMT.” I reply and attempted to return the smile which ended up being more of a grimace.

“Well then DMT, what are we to do with you?”

I huff and rub the back of my neck grimacing. “Well you could finish me off” I suggest. I know she wouldn’t, but oh well.

“Now why in the whole of Equestria would I want to do that?” she asks.

“Well this screwy universe has already tried to kill me four times today, why make it wait any longer?”

She frowned. “Because you have so much to live for DMT, and you only just got here! These ponies here, are…”

“I already know who they are” I cut her off “Don’t worry about that” I massage my temples in a futile attempt to try and figure everything out and reduce the throbbing in my head. My major injuries were gone now, but I still had scratches, bruises and the mother of all headaches known to any creature. 

“Wut?” all the ponies said together. Ah… Now this could be interesting, they didn’t know they were a cartoon. “Ahhhh… well… It’s complicated, so complicated your brains would melt.” Rainbowdash steps forward.

“Try me” she challenges.

“Honestly Rainbow, if I told you, you’d all think I was crazy, lock me in a cage and throw away the key.” They stare at me some more.

“Are you crazy?” asks rarity slightly taken aback.

“No”

“Well then. Now, you have some major explaining to do DMT, what the hay just happened?”

It was my turn to sound stupid now. “Wut?” All my memories then flood back to me in one… The holiday… The plane… My family… I fall to my knees again and just look at the floor. Everything was gone. What now? I always wanted to go to Equestria for the lols, even though it never existed. Or at least that’s what I thought. But I never wanted to come like this… Everyone would have thought I died in the wreckage of the plane. 

Utter loss consumed my heart. “It’s all gone…” I mutter “I should be dead… My family… Friends… Joanne… All gone…” A single sob escaped me. This time it was Celestia’s hoof that can come to rest on my shoulder. Now a single tear trickled down my right cheek as I looked down, unseeing. 

“I think, you could use a drink.” She said. This was unexpected, ponies offering alcohol? A glass of water materialised in front of me. Ah. Just water. I drank it all in two seconds and threw the glass down, it disappeared before it could collide with the floor. I couldn’t let my emotions overcome me right now, I had to push them out of the way for the moment. I could cry and smash as much as I liked later. I took a few deep breaths and when I was sure I was calm enough not to do something stupid.

I try to talk again. “Do you have an hour?” I croaked and looked up at all the confused faces. “Because this could take a while…”