“You big meanie,” Fluttershy said angrily. “You’re not a nice pony at all!”
The cute yellow pegasus was lying on the rocky ground. Her four legs were tied securely together, and her wings were tied to her sides. Fluttershy struggled, but she could do little more than roll along the dirt.
She was being held prisoner in Crimson Star’s campsite, which was located at the top of a tall cliff that overlooked the Everfree Forest. The top of the cliff was fairly bare; there was little more than a few scraggly weeds on its rocky surface. The only building in sight was the small tent that Crimson had pitched. There was also a fire pit at the campsite, but he had put out the fire hours ago.
Crimson Star laughed. “You’d better not roll too far, little pony, or you’ll fall right off the cliff! It’s a long way down to the forest below. I’d hate to see you plunge to your doom.”
“Why are you doing this to me?” Fluttershy asked. “I’ve never done anything to you.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Crimson asked. “Twilight Sparkle needs all of her friends in order to activate her magical friendship powers. Since I now have you in my possession, she won’t be able to use her ultimate weapon against me. In fact, I can actually use you to threaten her. If she wants you back alive she’ll have to give me the Eye. It’s a foolproof plan!”
“She’ll never do it,” Fluttershy said.
“Of course she will! Twilight will do anything to save her friends. After all, she gave up her alicorn magic to save you from Tirek, didn’t she? It’s the same sort of thing. If she gives me what I want, I’ll give her what she wants. It’s a simple business transaction. Everypony is happy and nopony is hurt.”
“So you’re going to send her a ransom note?” Fluttershy asked.
“No, I left her a map,” Crimson explained. “Of course, the map doesn’t lead her here to my campsite, but she doesn’t know that. Come now – you don’t really expect me to monologue my entire plan to you, do you? I’m not quite that stupid.”
“I don’t know,” Fluttershy said. “You did kidnap me, and that was a pretty big mistake. You’re going to regret it. You messed with the wrong pony.”
“Oh yes – no doubt! After all, I just kidnapped the kindest pony in all of Equestria. The horror! Think what terrible things will happen to me when you unleash your hidden powers of niceness!” Crimson Star burst out laughing. “Of all the ponies I have ever seen, you are by far the least scary. Fluttershy, you couldn’t be threatening if you tried! You’re cute and completely harmless. Kidnapping you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
As Fluttershy struggled, a butterfly flew by. The imprisoned pegasus called out to it. “Excuse me, mister butterfly? Could you please go get my woodland friends and have them come up here and rescue me from this nasty stallion? I’d really appreciate it.”
When the butterfly flew away, Crimson Star laughed so hard he actually fell to the ground. He struggled to regain his composure. “Did you really think that was going to work? You can’t talk to animals! Oh, sure, technically I guess you can talk to animals, inasmuch as you can give them a piece of your mind. But animals can’t understand you.”
“You just wait and see,” Fluttershy said. “You’d better be glad I’m such a nice pony! Otherwise you would be in a lot of trouble.”
“Oh yes, of course,” Crimson Star said sarcastically. “After all, you are the one who is tied up at the edge of a cliff and can barely move, but I’m the one who is in trouble. And here I thought everything was going exactly as I had planned! Silly me.”
Fluttershy frowned. “You know, mister, I have come this close to losing all my patience with you. If you don’t start behaving yourself I just might use my stare on you.”
“Oh no!” Crimson Star exclaimed. “Do you mean you might look at me? The horror! The woe! Whatever shall I do? Oh wait – I know.”
Crimson Star turned around so Fluttershy could no longer see his face. “There we go. Now I can’t see your stare. Crisis averted! Whew – that was a close one. I can’t believe how close I came to total disaster!”
“Meanie,” Fluttershy muttered.
Crimson Star clapped his front hooves together excitedly. “Look – down there! I can see your friends approaching the base of the cliff. It won’t be long now! Soon the Eye of Destiny will be in my grasp – and then all of Equestria will be mine! Then we’ll see how Celestia likes being locked in a dungeon for twenty years. I can already taste my revenge.”
* * * * *
Twilight Sparkle and her friends were walking along a small dirt road that wound its way through the Everfree Forest. On either side of the path were tall, ancient trees. The underbrush was thick and they couldn’t see very far into the forest – nor could they see where the path was taking them.
“Are you sure you know where we’re goin’?” Applejack asked.
“I think so,” Twilight replied. “According to this map, the road leads to the base of a cliff. Apparently that’s where Crimson Star is hiding.”
Rainbow Dash groaned. “You mean that’s where his trap is hiding. You can’t seriously believe that you’re going to find Fluttershy there!”
Rarity spoke up. “Even if the villain isn’t there, he will surely be someplace nearby. As long as we’re careful I’m certain we can rescue our poor friend.”
Pinkie Pie shook her head. “I think that the evil villainpony is the one who’s going to need rescuing. He’s in an awful lot of trouble.”
“Did someone say ‘trouble’?” a voice called out behind them. Twilight halted the party and looked around. That’s when she noticed that Carrot Top was about a hundred feet away, standing in the underbrush.
“Hey, Carrots!” Rainbow Dash called out. “What are you doing in the woods? It’s not exactly safe out here, you know!”
“It’s not exactly safe in my own garden, either,” Carrot Top replied sarcastically. “For your information, I am gathering some herbs that I plan on taking to Zecora’s. I’m hoping she can help me repair the terrible, tragic damage you ponies inflicted on my garden. She has a potion that just might give me what I need.”
“Well, good luck,” Twilight said.
“Why?” Carrot Top asked suspiciously. “Am I going to need it? Are you about to unleash some terrible disaster upon Ponyville? Should I run for my life?”
“I sure hope not!” Applejack replied. “We’re actually on our way to rescue Fluttershy. Some stallion kidnapped her.”
“Then I pity that poor, deluded kidnapper,” Carrot Top said. “He’ll be lucky to escape with his life.” The golden-colored pony then turned around and ran off deeper into the dark woods.
Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie, confused. “Why do ponies keep saying things like that? Is there something about Fluttershy that I don’t know about?”
“Well, not exactly,” Pinkie replied. “After all, Fluttershy is just Fluttershy. It’s her friends that can be a bit dangerous. You don’t want to get them angry.”
“You mean us?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie shook her head. “No – her other friends. They can be pretty protective of her.”
“Well, we’re almost there,” Twilight said. “Just a little farther!”
Rainbow Dash spoke up. “So we’re really just going to walk right into the trap?”
“What’s the matter?” Applejack asked. “Can’t you handle it? You know, if you want to stay behind–”
“And miss out on being awesome? I don’t think so!”
* * * * *
From his vantage point at the edge of the cliff, Crimson Star watched Twilight and her friends walk along the path. “They’re almost there,” he muttered. “Time to–”
“Excuse me,” Fluttershy said from behind him. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to be leaving now.”
Crimson laughed. “Sure you are.” He then heard a low growl. Puzzled, he turned around – and gasped.
The green unicorn had never seen so many animals in one place in his entire life. The sky was filled with birds – in fact, there were so many birds they nearly blotted out the sun. He noticed, a bit uncomfortably, that all of the birds were starting at him – and they looked angry.
The ground around Fluttershy was packed with all kinds of creatures. There were bunnies, raccoons, snakes, porcupines, foxes – it was a regular menagerie. That’s when Crimson Star noticed the enormously large bears that had surrounded the cute little pegasus. And the lions. And the manticores. Wait – manticores?
One of the manticores was holding ropes – ropes that had once kept Fluttershy tied and on the ground. He did not look the least bit pleased.
Fluttershy herself was at the heart of this giant army of extremely irritated woodland creatures. She was hovering a few feet off the ground, starting right at Crimson Star with a very unhappy look on her cute face.
The manticore behind her growled. Then the bears growled. The foxes growled. Crimson began to get very, very nervous. Are all of these creatures her spies? Do the very birds of the air watch over Equestria for their yellow queen? Is Fluttershy the true wielder of power – but no, that’s madness! Madness!
Fluttershy turned and patted one of the manticores on his head. “Now, now, wait just a minute before eating that bad, bad pony. Maybe he’ll apologize and then you won’t have to eat him at all! After all, we don’t want any trouble, do we, Crimson Star?”
“But that’s ridiculous!” Crimson gasped. “I can’t talk to animals, and I’m ten times smarter than you. If I can’ do it then nopony can do it! What kind of trick are you trying to pull?”
Fluttershy frowned. “That didn’t sound like an apology to me at all. What about you, mister manticore? Does it sound to you like he’s sorry?”
The manticore shook his head and took a step closer to Crimson. The birds chirped angrily and grew closer. The bunnies bared their teeth. The lions extended their claws.
Crimson took a step backwards. “Now, now, let’s be reasonable about this,” he said hastily. “There’s no reason for this to turn ugly. Just–”
The manticores growled at him, snapped their teeth, and took another step toward him. In a blind panic, Crimson turned around and ran away – only to belatedly remember that he was right on the edge of a cliff.
A sheer cliff, leading straight down into the Everfree forest.
And he was not a flying pony.
Crimson Star screamed as he plunged off the cliff. “SOMEPONY HELP ME!”
Fluttershy shook her head. “You should have just apologized, mister meaniepants. Jumping off a cliff was very foolish of you. Is it really that hard just to say you’re sorry?”
* * * * *
At the base of the cliff, Twilight and her friends were looking around. They had reached the end of the path and found a small clearing. The sheer face of the cliff had some ancient carvings etched into it. Other than that, though, there was nothing to be seen.
“I don’t get it,” Rainbow Dash said. “Isn’t there supposed to be a trap here? Did somepony slip up? Please tell me that we’re facing a villain who actually knows what he’s doing. Fighting morons is just so un-awesome. How can I show how cool I am if I don’t have a good opponent?”
At that moment they all heard a desperate cry for help. They immediately looked up and saw a green pony falling through the air. He was flailing around desperately, screaming his head off.
Applejack frowned. “Twilight, is that who I think it is?”
Twilight nodded. “I think so! That looks like Crimson Star all right.”
Rainbow Dash spoke up. “But he’s not a pegasus, is he? Why does he think he can fly? Is he really that stupid?”
“Perhaps he slipped and fell,” Rarity said.
“Or maybe Fluttershy pushed him off,” Pinkie suggested.
“Girls!” Twilight shrieked. “He’s about to become roadkill! Rainbow – go rescue him right this instant!”
“Fell off a cliff,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “How disappointing. Some villain he turned out to be! This is so embarrassing.”
Grudgingly, Rainbow Dash swooped up into the air and grabbed the hapless pony seconds before he crashed into the ground. Crimson Star was still screaming when Rainbow Dash set him down.
Twilight’s horn glowed and levitated Crimson Star in the air. “All right – talk! What have you done with our friend Fluttershy? If you have hurt her, so help me–”
“I’m fine,” Fluttershy called out. The group looked up and saw her fly down from the cliff above. “I hope you didn’t worry too much about me.”
“I knew you could do it!” Pinkie Pie said happily. “That villain never stood a chance.”
“You rescued yourself?” Twilight asked, surprised. “But – how?”
Crimson Star spoke up. “That pony is a dangerous lunatic. She is a freak of nature. I bet even the trees are on her side.”
Rarity walked over and hugged Fluttershy. “It sounds like you did a wonderful job, dear. I should have had more faith in you.”
“All right, Crimson,” Twilight said firmly. “I don’t know what your evil plan was, but as you can see you have lost. So why don’t you just tell us what you were trying to accomplish?”
“I’m not going to say another word,” Crimson said.
Twilight glared at him. She was about to say something, but Pinkie interrupted. “Twilight, c’mon, you know that’s not how it works! Evil villains only monologue when they think their schemes are working. If you want to find out about his evil plot, you have to do it before you capture him. You did it out of order!”
“That’s ok,” Fluttershy said. “I’ve already heard his monologue. He wanted to use me to force you to find the Eye of Destiny for him. He was going to let me go if you handed it over to him. Then he was going to take over the world and throw Celestia in jail.”
Applejack spoke up. “So, same old, same old.”
“He gets more unoriginal all the time,” Rainbow Dash agreed. “What a letdown. But say, is the Eye of Destiny supposed to be around here somewhere? I sure don’t see anything!”
“I don’t either,” Applejack replied. “Didn’t that awful song say it was hidden at the top of a tower? I sure don’t see any towers around here!”
“That’s because there aren’t any,” Twilight said. “I’ve studied every book I could find on the Everfree Forest. There are no towers in this area. If one existed, it was torn down long ago.”
“And the Eye was lost with it,” Rarity said sadly. “What a pity. I bet it would have made a charming necklace!”
“A necklace?” Crimson Star echoed. “Are you out of your mind? That artifact can see the future! It can change the fate of every pony in Equestria! And all you can think about is using it as a fashion accessory? What kind of fool are you?”
“Speak for yourself,” Rarity said haughtily. “I’m not the one who just fell off a cliff.”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “You tell him, Rarity. So, Twilight, what do those carvings say? Anything important?”
Twilight grunted. “Boy, this villain is heavy! I can’t hold Crimson in the air all day. Applejack, if I let him down can you tie him up?”
“Oh, don’t bother,” Crimson said wearily. “I’m not going anywhere. I have no desire to be eaten by bears, or torn in half by sea serpents, or pecked apart by a savage flock of birds. I know when I’m beaten.”
Rainbow Dash spoke up. “That sounds an awful lot like he’s saying ‘please let your guard down so I can run away’.”
Crimson laughed bitterly. “There is no escape from the Queen of the Forest. You cannot hide from her. Her eyes are everywhere – everywhere! No one can hide from the lidless eye of her eternal gaze!”
Twilight looked at him curiously. “Did he hit his head on the way down?”
“I don’t think so,” Rainbow Dash said. “My rescue was pretty awesome. Besides, I never slip up on details like that! That’s the sort of thing that really hurts you on those blasted comment cards.”
Applejack spoke up. “Ok, Twilight, I’m ready.” As soon as Twilight released her grasp on Crimson, Applejack grabbed him and tied him up. After he was secured, Crimson remained still on the ground.
“I guess he really isn’t going to escape,” Rainbow Dash said sadly. “So much for my epic boss fight!”
Meanwhile, Crimson Star cackled to himself. I’m a unicorn, you dolts – a unicorn! Didn’t you see me teleport away earlier? Mere ropes cannot hold me!
What Crimson Star did not realize was that no one really cared. His utter lack of competence had already caused Twilight and her friends to lose all interest in him. Unfortunately, that would prove to be a serious mistake. Twilight would later realize that sometimes the incompetent villains are the most dangerous ones.
With Crimson Star secured – or at least, secure enough to achieve plausible deniability – Twilight trotted over to the face of the cliff and studied the ancient runes. “It’s a very old, mystical language,” she said at last.
Rarity spoke up. “What does it say, darling?”
Twilight frowned. “A few of the runes are pretty worn, but I can still make it out. It looks like it’s a spell – a very difficult spell. Only the highest level mage could cast this.”
Rainbow Dash nudged Twilight. “Well, you are an alicorn, right? So let’s cast that spell and see what happens!”
“Now wait just a minute,” Applejack said. “Twilight, do you have any idea what that spell will do?”
Twilight shook her head. “I’m afraid not. I’ve never seen anything quite like this before. Ponies don’t write spells this way anymore. I think it’s supposed to reveal a hidden passage, but to be honest it doesn’t look like a normal unveiling spell. It might do anything.”
“So it could be a trap,” Applejack said.
“But what would be the point?” Twilight asked. “Only the most powerful of ponies could possibly cast it in the first place! It’s probably completely harmless.”
“Now stop and think a minute,” Applejack replied. “Suppose that there really is a hidden tower around here somewhere with a magical thing in it. If it’s hidden, that means somepony hid it on purpose, and that means they didn’t want it to be found. If that’s true then why would anypony put the one spell in Equestria that could unhide it right there in plain sight? Doesn’t that seem mighty foolish to you?”
Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Maybe they didn’t want to lose it. After all, people are always losing buried treasure! How else would you find something that’s invisible?”
Twilight studied the runes again. “Well, girls, here’s the deal. On the one hoof, we can ignore all of this, go home, and forget all about it. Or we can cast that spell and take the chance that it will lead us to the long-lost Eye.”
Rarity spoke up. “I hate to mention this, dear, but didn’t Celestia say we should leave the Eye alone?”
“Aw, what does she know?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Doing nothing is so boring. I say Twilight should cast the spell. That sounds way more awesome than going home in defeat.”
“I suppose,” Applejack said reluctantly. “Odds are it won’t do anything anyway. We might as well give it a shot.”
Rarity spoke up. “I mean no disrespect to Celestia, but I do hope we find the Eye! I’m sure we can handle whatever happens. After all, we always have before.”
“I suppose,” Fluttershy said slowly.
“Then we’ll do it,” Twilight said decisively. She read the ancient runes one more time, to make sure she understood what she was about to do. Twilight then closed her eyes, and her horn began to glow a brilliant purple color. Then, to her enormous surprise, a beam of brilliant yellow energy shot out from the runes and engulfed Twilight. She began to hover a few feet off the ground.
Fluttershy looked at her worriedly. “Um, is it supposed to be doing that?”
“How in Equestria should I know?” Applejack asked.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” Fluttershy replied.
Then, all at once, several things happened. First, the beam of magical energy that connected Twilight to the runes vanished, and Twilight fell back onto her hooves. Second, the runes glowed a brilliant yellow color, and then they vanished as well – revealing a long, dark corridor that led into the heart of the cliff.
But Twilight’s friends didn’t notice either of those things until later, because everyone’s attention was focused on a much bigger problem. As soon as the corridor opened, a giant pillar of yellow fire appeared. The pillar was easily a hundred feet tall and fifteen feet wide. It had giant red eyes and was clearly a sentient being of some kind. As soon as it appeared it roared in anger and moved into position to protect the corridor.
“Is that fire actually alive?” Twilight asked, astonished.
“Looks like it to me!” Applejack commented. “And I don’t think it’s very happy about our bein’ here.”
“Oh man,” Rainbow Dash said. “This is so awesome! So what do we do next?”
* * * * *
Less than a mile away, Carrot Top was still making her way toward Zecora’s secluded hut. The irritated garden pony was humming to herself, minding her own business, when she suddenly heard a tremendous roar behind her. She turned her head just in time to see a giant pillar of fire appear in the distance.
“Not again,” she grumbled. “No. Absolutely not! I refuse to be defeated. I am going to make it to Zecora’s hut, fire or no fire. You are not going to ruin my day again – you hear me? And if that fire monster happens to make it to Ponyville and goes and burns down my garden, I will make it rue the day it was born!”
But the giant pillar of savage fire did not hear the little pony’s threat. It was focused on a more immediate problem: a certain purple pony who had opened a forbidden passage. It was time for the pillar to do what it was created to do: protect the Eye at all costs.
Because some ponies have embarrassing secrets that they do not want revealed.