//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3 
// Story: Soarin's Folly 
// by a human 
//------------------------------//

Soarin slept fairly well for having almost been murdered the previous day. He woke up slowly, stretching, and flew a few short laps around his room to perk himself up. Once he felt slightly more together, he landed on the floor and started heading towards the restroom. 

On the way, though, something caught his eye. He turned around. Something was on his nightstand.

It appeared to be a small envelope. He walked over and turned it over in his hooves. There were no addresses of any kind on it, aside from a single word in the corner: "Legal." 

He opened the letter, revealing a small sheet of paper. 

"You have a hearing." 

He shook his head and set the letter down. It must've been a prank.

– – – –

Today was one of Soarin's rare days off, so he took the opportunity to spend some time in Ponyville. It was far more quaint and relaxing than Canterlot, but not obscure enough to be low class, either. 

Plus, he might get to see see Rainbow Dash, likely the fastest living thing in the world. He had little to no chances with her, of course, since she was, literally, gay as a rainbow, but he could at least watch.

As of yet, he had not been able to find her, so currently, he was drinking tea in a small café, discreetly eavesdropping on everyone else's conversations.

"Oh, oh, have you heard this one? So, so, you see, this human serial rapist gets teleported to Equestria and…"

"Yes, I've heard that one. It's not funny, it's just offensive. Why in Celestia's name would anyone make a joke about a serial rapist?"

"Celestia started that joke."

"Oh. Maybe it… No, you know what? It's still a terrible joke."

He decided to listen to someone else.

"Hey, have you heard about Rarity and—"

"LALALALALA I'm not listening! I just ate, you know!"

Boring.

"I'd like one Daisy Berger, if it isn't too much trouble."

"She's off work today and this isn't that kind of establishment."

More boring. He looked around and saw the mayor. That looked interesting.

"So I just got contacted by Celestia, and she said she wanted to experiment with a new legal system in this town. You're closest to her. Do you know what that's about?"

"No idea. She tried to drag me into it, too, but I've been too busy with that new human to get too involved. How's he doing as community organizer, anyway?"

"Oh, fine, fine. He's a fine politician, I'll give him that much."

"Right. Well, anyway, apparently Celestia read this novel from the human world that detailed some new legal system she really wants to try out. She wants me to read it, but I really haven't had the time yet. I think it's called something like, The Trial… or was it The Process?"

For some reason, Soarin got a chill up his spine when the name of the book was mentioned, but he figured it was nothing.

– – – –

Soarin wandered around town. No one was sure where Rainbow Dash was, and he was pretty sure he could find something to do somewhere around here.

He stopped when he heard a voice.

"Okay then, how did your little boyfriend get it?"

"He stole it from a museum."

"A museum?"

"The door was unlocked."

"Well then, it doesn't seem like its his either. I would say belongs to just about anyone, would you?"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Gggaaaaaahh!"

"At least I can get some!"

There was a sound of a door slamming.

"Stupid wanker. Stupid flower peddling bitch wanker bitch asshole cunt!"

Something about that voice and the way it hurled out of obscenities entranced Soarin. That accent… it wasn't quite like anything he had heard before. It just made everything seem so classy, so sensual, even if the words coming through it were most definitely not. He had to know who this pony was.

He ran towards the source, passing by some official looking human in a suit, until he found himself in front of a large purple and white building—Rarity's boutique. He knew that much from the tabloids, at least.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit," the voice said, and Soarin turned towards the source. Standing before him was a pegasus, a gray pegasus with short fur and blonde hair. Her eyes were squinted in frustration. He could tell there was something wrong in the way that her pupils were facing, but he didn't care. They were still beautiful.

"Hi," he said.

The gray pegasus looked up at him in shock. She gasped, and backed away a bit, and froze for a second. "Hi," she got out.

"Do you… do you… want to go to dinner later?"

She almost looked hurt. "What?"

Soarin quickly backtracked. "If you don't want to, that's fine, I just…" He paused. "I just heard your voice and…"

The gray pegasus looked to the side and blushed. "I suppose I can," she muttered, then regained her senses and glared at Soarin. "Wait. Aren't you and Spitfire…?"

Soarin waved a hoof. "Don't believe the tabloids. Spitfire doesn't swing that way," he said. "She'll hit anything that moves, but I don't think she would be caught dead in a monogamous relationship."

"Right," the gray pegasus said. She looked up. "I'm Der… I mean, Ditzy. Let's hope this goes better than last time."

Soarin looked confused. "Last time? But we've never met."

Ditzy suddenly looked panicked. "I meant… the last time I dated. Yes." She swallowed. "So. Dinner. What time?"

"Tomorrow. At five."

"The place?"

Soarin, on a whim, named the most expensive restaurant he could think of.

Ditzy blinked. "Sounds good," she stammered, and flew off. Soarin sat back, and admired her.

Maybe things were looking up.