I was dragged into the purple abomination of a building, and dropped in front of a purple pony, who I noticed had a horn and wings, unlike the one that dropped me on the floor, which had none of these attributes. I also recall two of the ponies back in the treehouse of hell had these things, but I was too grumpy to care. She was sat on a throne, reading a book. I hate books. But I tried to reason with the creature, since it seemed to show more intellect than the dimwits I have encountered today.
"Send me back to where I came from, or I will slap your grandmother, and dunk your face in an acid of my choosing."
My way of reasoning is a little abstract, but it works.
She looked up at me, and she seemed genuinely offended, which was strange. I could have easily said a lot worse. I was saying the acid part to be polite.
"Pinkie, did I just hear what I think I just heard?"
"I know right! A talking kitty! It even rhymes! Do it again kitty! Rhyme!"
In response, I uttered a long chain of disgusting obscenities, mostly concerning her grandmother. I hate grandmothers. Especially yours.
"Aw, c'mon! That didn't even rhyme! What a silly cat!"
Damn. Why cant this thing be offended! The purple one looked down at me with a mixture of concern and shock, which are emotion I always fail to show. She then put down her book, and called for someone named "Spike". A short, large eyed lizard with hideously bright purple and green skin waddled in. She whispered something in his ear, looked at me peculiarly for a second, and then waddled off.
"I'm afraid that this kind of magic is way out of my depths, Pinkie. I'm going to run some tests on him before Princess Celestia gets here. Ill let you know what happens..."
"Okey Dokey Lokey!"
The one presumably named "Pinkie" turned and literally bounced out of the castle. I then looked at the purple one, and yawned.
"Is it OK if I take you down to my lab? I'm going to need to run some tests on you so I can know exactly what you are..."
"It is not OK to do anything to me. If you come near me, I'll bite your face off and hand it to your mother when she needs a napkin at your funeral."
She just sighed, and the purple and green midget returned, but it also had a net. Before I could yell some of my favourite grandmother related insults at it, I was already surrounded by thick, ropy mesh. The purple one then injected me with some sort of clear liquid, and I hit the cold, unforgiving ground.
. . .
I was rudely awakened from my dark slumber by a constant whirring of a machine. I was about to yell for my owner to get me some food, but then I realised that I was still in this hellish land. I seemed to be tied to a chair. It was hard and uncomfortable. This is a miserable start to the day. Then again, isn't every day?
"I'm sorry I had to drug you, but I didn't want you to struggle whilst I brought you down here."
I turned to look at the purple pony, and she seemed to be dressed in a white lab coat, and she had goggles above her head. I also noticed her horn was glowing with some atrocious magical aura, and some lab bottles were covered in the same aura, and they were floating in the air. Meh. Simple telekinesis. Big deal. I then noticed that I seemed to be in a sophisticated lab, with several pieces of complicated equipment lining the white and clinical walls. Several bottles were lined up on shelves.
I was about to yell some horrid insults at her for fun, but I decided that I should probably get some answers.
"Thing. You will answer me. What is this place?"
"Silly cat, my name is Twilight, not Thing. This is a laboratory, which is a room or building equipped for scientific experiments, research, or teaching, or for the-"
"That's not what I meant, dimwit. I mean, what do you call this world?"
"You seriously don't know?"
"Of course I don't, I was brought here through a horrid portal-"
I was interrupted by the sudden "DING" of a piece of equipment next to Twilight. It was a pale green in colour, and it began flashing with a red light. She then shoved a helmet which was connected to the machine onto my head, and she switched a lever. The machine then began spewing out a scroll of paper a continuous red line on it. She turned the lever off, and picked up the huge scroll of paper, and looked at it.
"No, no! This cant be right! Its impossible! Nothing in the world of Equestria is like this! Oh my gosh!"
"Well, I'm not ACTUALLY from-"
"But you don't understand! Your pessimism levels! They're sky high! You have literally no positive emotion at all! And you can talk! What are you?!"
I stared back at her blankly.
"Your worst nightmare. Now let me off of this chair".
At that second, the doors of the lab flew open, and two ponies, presumably male, burst into the room.
"All stand for Princess Celestia!" They shouted in unison, and in their wake, the most hideously repugnant thing walked into the room. It had flowing multi-coloured hair, which seemed to flow despite the lack of wind. It had a golden crown, angelic white fur, and stood about three feet taller than all the other ponies. As soon as it looked at me, it burst out into an ear splitting fit of laughter.
"Is there something wrong, your highness?"
She turned to me, and giggled.
"Hello, Grumpy Cat!"