"Finally, we are at the top!" I was leaning against the grille of the Duneloader, halfway through a can of Sprunk. The chick was tanning in the truck bed. How you could tan with your clothes on, I have no idea.
"Lets discuss a next course of action." I threw my empty can on the ground and flattened it with my shiny black Oxford shoe. "I was thinking of finding a place to call home."
"We gonna need some green first, hun." miss hotness pointed out, still lying in the back of the truck. "And I'm all out since buying a pink paintjob for my Issy."
"How about some new names? Our current ones are kinda difficult to pronounce." I suggested while opening an Egochaser candy bar. Shit, I wasn't gonna tell her all my cash is in the Maze Bank.
"Fuck, I don' even remember yours." I could hear her smile while she said that.
"My pointh hath been proven." I let out a small giggle, my mouth filled with whatever they made these bars out of.
"You look like a Chris to me." she lasily stated.
"Close with the C. But I like Clyde a bit more, m'lady. It has some much needed class to it." I rolled up the wrapper of my candy bar and threw it over the edge of the platform we were on. "You look to me like a Bernadette."
"Nah, let's go with Bonnie. Sounds sexy and dangerous." 'Bonnie' almost purred.
"Huh, Bonnie and Clyde. I know it from somewhere. It has a ring to it, though." I pulled out my Antique Cavalry Dagger and examined it because I had nothing better to do.
"Lets find some civilisation." I stood up. "We need cash and I only have candy, smokes, beer and cans of soda."
"Fuck, I kinda forgot we actually need to eat today." Bonnie climbed from de truck bed and removed my Aviator shades from her head. "What, with all the driving and talking."
"I have seen some buildings on a mountain side. They are that way." I pointed with my thumb. "Even if it is abandoned, we could still loot the place."
"Lead the way 'Clyde'. Bonnie wants some new shoes." She smiled as she hopped in the passenger seat and closed the rusty door of the Duneloader.
"Just because we are travel buddies, don't mean we're together." I got in the truck myself. "You can get your own shoes."
I closed my door and started the engine.
I made a burnout leaving red tiresmoke behind as I steered into the direction of the buildings, falling off of the plateau we were standing on and into the forest beneath us.
After landing on all four wheels without a scratch, I sounded the horn of the truck (wich was the factory fitted one) and speeded on avoiding trees and rocks.
"Remind me to also get a map." Bonnie said while searching the dashboard for anything usefull. "Don't wanna get lost, again."
"I made a picture of a map of San Andreas in my secondary apartment. It should be on my phone." I said as I evaded the umpteenth boulder.
"I'm not even sure we are in San Andreas anymore." she turned on the radio. Of course, we only got static. Bonnie turned the dials to get at least a hint of a signal, and to our great suprise, we got a female voice comin' out of the speakers.
"...and this concludes our polka hour, here at Equestria Music Radio. As it is time for the news, take it away Stormcloud!" "Thank you Vinyl." a posh male voice stated. "Last night there was a magical distortion all over the lands. Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadence are keeping quiet about it."
"At least we know there is civilisation near us now." Bonnie stated. "And at least advanced enough for radio."
"No shit." I said absentmindedly, thinking of how anything could survive a whole hour of polka. These people must be Rockstar in the flesh.
I could feel the truck drice over something big on the road.
"Didn't you see that beast you just ran over? The thing had bat wings and a scorpion tail!"
I kept on driving, paying my hot copilot no heed. I knew women could be annoying, but she takes the platinum medal. I don't care if we just killed a fucking beast, it's not like it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I have enough Mercenary, redneck, police and military blood on my hands to fill the gas tanks of a customised Sandking XL. I have long since stopped caring about the lives I take, just about the cash Madrazo, Trevor or Lester gave me for taking them. The only crime I haven't commited is picking up hookers, and I ain't planning to pick them up anytime soon. A waste of money, women. I spend my cash on cars, guns and suits. Much more reliable than a woman.
I own a car in every category: Adder, Injection, Coquette Classic, Felon GT, Tailgater (stolen from some poor bastard at the golf course), Gauntlet, Dubsta (The one with four wheels) and I take excessive pride in my matte white Z-Type with chrome trim.
I take a personal dislike on Zentorno's, the car of choice for high voiced low-levels who give away sticky's like it's Christmas and they are Santa. Same case with Sultans and blue Intruders. You know, the kind that is used by the lowest of low that think they are hot shit because they drive a sedan with a spoiler and yellow or red rims? Immature morons is what all of them are! I'm surrounded by idiots who have NO FUCKING RESPECT FOR ANOTHER'S FUCKING LIFE!
...I felt Bonnies hand on my lower arm.
"You alright, Clyde? You look upset." she looked at me with concern in her eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes of hers...
"I was just thinking of the life I left behind. No more looking for Zentorno's to blow up, no more evading the wrath of owners of said Zentorno's... No more killing for money." my eyes started to let go a tear at the last sentence. "A bright future for the two of us, Bonnie, a bright future."