//------------------------------// // Background Ponies in a Foreground Pony World or I Went to Canterlot and All I Got were These Lousy Nightmares // Story: Friendship is Madness // by Lobstercraft //------------------------------// My Little Pony: Friendship is Madness Chapter 1: Background Ponies in a Foreground Pony World Or I Went to Canterlot and All I Got were These Lousy Nightmares “I have a balloon fetish,” said Pokey, capillaries akimbo. You would have thought this story was called My Little Pony: Silence is Awkward. “Yeah,” replied Lucky. Lucky knew that jazz, they were best friends. In honesty Lucky thought Pokey just liked stabbin' shit. “Pony’s crazy.” Caramel and Noteworthy were plastered again. They liked bowling on the weekends occasionally, and as long as Noteworthy had his fill of alcohol Lucky tended to win. That asshole’s special talent was being lucky. “Am I crazy?” asked Pokey. He was being reflective. “Yeah,” replied Lucky. “Your special talent is being crazy!” laughed Noteworthy. Pokey looked at the floor, dejected. He’d seen some things… and some stuff. I wouldn’t recommend it. Big Macintosh was also there. What an odd assortment of random background ponies; how did they all become friends? Are they the protagonists? Will the Mane Six be in this story? These are questions I am asking. These are answers I am giving: Through events, some of them, and yes. It’s not strange that Pokey Pierce, Lucky, Noteworthy, and Caramel were friends being that they have ‘random background ponyness’ in common; and Big Macintosh was friends with just about everypony in town. So, that’s not so weird is it? Now they are all at a bowling alley. We cool? You don’t have to read this if you’re not, I’m not getting paid or anything. I’d prefer if you did read, though; if we’re being honest. Big Macintosh hadn’t told anypony about the mysterious letter he’d received from Pokey, or how terrified the pony seemed to be when he found him in Canterlot. Pokey never told him more as he’d written he would, either. Big Mac also couldn’t find Innshorsesmouth on any map. Perhaps Pokey Pierce was crazy. Macintosh didn’t get that vibe, though. Either way, for now things seemed normal again; a fact Pokey appreciated most of all. After a few more rounds they all parted ways. Big Macintosh went back to the farm to quietly ponder the mysteries of nature, Caramel and Noteworthy went off to a bar to continue the party, and Pokey and Lucky wandered the town aimlessly. While Pokey pondered the possibility of prehistoric presences prevailing to the present, Lucky was keeping something important to himself. Since Wild Fire broke up with him he had fallen madly in love with Golden Harvest. If only he weren’t so shy! Too shy even to tell his closest friends, let alone confess to the mare of his dreams! Maybe the story would focus on him if he’d take some damn initiative. But he chose to keep it bottled up instead. But love was in the air all over Ponyville, and mostly unrequited. Similarly Pokey’s haunted thoughts were interrupted with something of a flashback. A very special day that one day happened one day, once. It was a Cutecaenera, as you may recall, where he was joyfully popping balloons hither and thither. It was true he liked stabbing things. Suddenly there was something of a commotion involving fighting fillies. It was during the chaos that he noticed HERRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr………Bluu bluu bluu flashbaaaaaaack. The most beautiful and majestic creature he’d ever seen, bounding about to and fro. He knew of her before, and in fact had a crush on her before. Pokey Pierce was a weak-hearted stallion who fell in love quite deeply and quite often; but this was the first time he’d ever looked, ever really looked…. At that ass! Her cutie mark was balloons! Fucking balloons!!! On her flank! His pure admiration and innocent love for her drowned in his carnal nature and grew gills. He almost threw up on the spot. His mind immediately thought, “Too perfect... The only one… No chance… Give up now… Love… Kill yourself… that’s heaven so this is hell.” He fled to the outside to breathe. Pink and blue was even his favorite color combo! For the rest of the party he tried to play it cool and fought vainly for a reason to talk to her without looking like a jackass. Then she yelled at him for popping all the balloons and kicked him out. Back in the present, two best bros angsted together in silence; neither knowing they were in similar sinking boats. Soon they parted ways, both now alone in body as well as heart. Not even the Sandman would give poor Pokey a break! His sleep was rocked with intermittent nightmares of horrors so unimaginable that even in dreams they could not be fully realized. So basically everything sucked right now.