//------------------------------//
// Part 5 
// Story: Let's Play! Vol. 01: MINECRAFT- with Luna, Celestia, and Cadence 
// by Jasper77W 
//------------------------------//

"Night hath arrived. This is our chance, we shall strike now when she is unaware!" Luna whispered, switching from a dirt block to a sword as she slowly advanced towards the Crystal Kingdom, its protective shield shimmering under the starlight. 

"I can still hear you." Cadence's voice carried through the door, and Luna sighed and turned her microphone off. 

It had been many nights since Princess Cadence's betrayal of the two sisters. Ever since she had slain them both while they weren't looking and looted their blocky corpses, Princess Luna and Princess Celestial have held a grudge against her. And thus a war began.

In the real reality, with pillows and mattresses and rage and alicorn levitation magic, they managed to ironically banish the Princess of Love to her bedroom. It became her fortress, and the door had remained locked since then, only ever opening for a certain prince- but that is not of relevance!

"Now, Luna, I have sixty-four ladder, we can probably climb the tower up to the balcony and shank her in her bed..." Celestia said.   

"I can still hear you." Cadence replied, again. Probably because the one thing separating their two rooms in reality was nothing but an old wooden castle door. "And you'll never catch me." 

"I want my diamonds back! And my magic wand!" Luna growled.

"It's a stick." 

"Give it back!" She yelled, none the less.

"Not unless you can make me. You can't even make it through the shield! Ha!" Cadence exclaimed, though her voice was a little muffled through the door.

"Oh no. What will we do." Luna said sarcastically, and there was a loud 'tink' as glass broke.

"Dammit." They heard Cadence say. Apparently a shield made of glass was only aesthetically functional, and even then only on some basic level.

Cadence had really repurposed the Crystal Empire into one heck of a fortress. five retries later with four traps set off and one unexpected visit from a zombie pigman, the sisters had to devise a functional strategy of some sort, which basically consisted of everything except charging straight down the middle- which they have been doing for the past thirty minutes, as stubborn as a pair of goats. 

"Okay. Here's the plan. We have wooden swords, just... Survive up to where we last were, get all our stuff again, and we can keep working from there." Luna sighed. She was tempted to just stay in that bed. Or storm into the other room and throw Cadence out the window, but a less physically violent option will do. 

They had set their beds just outside the kingdom, and so far they haven't even been able to make it to the castle in the center yet.  

"Slow down and watch for traps..." Luna warned, crouched low and holding up her oak sword defensively. She turned around to check on Celestia. "Don't you have a bucking sword?" 

"I... Didn't have time..." Celestia murmured, her character slowly turning and looking towards the ground. Then she looked up, still holding a solid block of wood. "I can still club things to death." 

"Look, just... Stay out of trouble." Luna sighed and rolled her eyes, continuing on down the center road.

Then she saw an arrow come flying off the balcony of the castle, and it struck her in the belly. Her character 'OOMF'ed and leapt back a few spaces, missing a few hearts. 

Cadence continued shooting arrows at them from the balcony, silently watching.

"Go go go-" Luna ushered, turning left and quickly hiding in an alley way. 

She looked up at the balcony, or at least where it should be, but 'ILuvShiningArmorXOXO' wasn't anywhere to be seen.  

"She must be crouching..." Celestial murmured. 

"Damnit..." Luna cursed, staring at the edge of her world. Really, she thought the five times they'd crossed over here would've fixed this chunk loading issue already. But oh well... She can at least survey what's ahead by looking through the unloaded world.

Not too far away was a building. It had been cut in half because of the glitch, and she could see lots of bookshelves in there. And a small balcony of sorts, a very well decorated interior.

"Looks like a library... We might be a able to cross through there. I mean, at least we won't have her shooting arrows up our butts anymore." Luna muttered, striding towards the other side, having been adequately fed up with waiting for the world to load.

"NightmareMoon0102 hit the ground too hard. Well alright." Celestia read aloud, staring down at Luna's corpse all the way at the bottom of the world amidst her angry screaming and Cadence's unrestrained giggling. "Well, you gotta give her that one though..."

"No! I ain't giving her BUCK!" Luna yelled. Sure, whatever. Brilliant troll. Haha. 

"Should I wait for you?" Celestia turned to look back at the way they came, from the open road. "You know what I can probably build a bridge."

A few moments later...

"Yeah? How'd that work out for you?" Luna asked sarcastically, the words 'Molestia5000 hit the ground too hard' appearing on her screen. 

"She ah... Sniped me off my bridge..." Celestial replied. She sounded less angered and more disappointed and defeated. 

They managed to make it back to that alley a few minutes later, but this time Luna came prepared. 

She checked her inventory- bucket of water, plus four stacks of sand. 

They managed to traverse the fake chunk error with much more ease than their previous attempt, which rested as an unfinished single-file bridge of wooden blocks, with several 
arrows embedded in them.

Though they still had to dodge fire from the balcony, when they were building up to ground level again the library gave them cover from Cadence's deadly barrage of arrows.

"She's being awfully quite." Luna noted as they quickly sprinted through the library.

"Wha-? Of course not! I mean, I'm not doing anything suspicious... Or anything..." Cadence denied. 

Luna went up the stairs and charged at the exit, ignoring the zombies around her. It'd take them forever to fight through this mess.

"God- PHUCK-" She grumbled, having hit a pressure plate that links to the door, but also instinctively hit the door with her sword- making it open and close again and causing her to face-plant into it. She backed away to open it, but did the exact same thing again and stepped over the pressure plate. She ended up pulling out an axe and chopping the door down instead. 

She emerged onto a separate road. The main castle was still visible, but a few nearby buildings gave her adequate cover.

"Celly?" She called out in hushed tones, looking around her in the dark.

"LUNA HAAAAAALP-" Celestia cried, running out of the doorless doorframe, followed by every zombie in the library ever. It might've been a bit more of a frantic chase if the zombies weren't moving at the speed of snail. 

"Just hit them back! Jaysus!" Luna rolled her eyes impatiently, quickly fending off the zombies with a shovel. It was really more to knock them back than to actually kill them. 

They made it to another door, and managed to get through and close it behind them without too much trouble this time.

*

Cadence broke one last dirt block with a satisfying crunch. The night sky greeted her, and she looked behind her to make sure the sisters hadn't noticed she had been digging a tunnel out of the empire. She had started digging down at the base of the tower, so hopefully they won't find out until they fight their way to the castle. She did play cautious and fill the entrance in, so they shouldn't be able to find it without a lot of mining around.

She sighed in relief, staring off at the empire, barely visible over several hundred block lengths of trees. She checked her inventory, pulling out a compass.

Time to do this.

*

"OH NOES-" Luna leapt back just in time as an arrow whizzed past her. "Hey! You missed!" 

"Pop your head out again Luna I dare you." Cadence replied, and what appeared to be a warning shot hit Luna's cover. 

"Cover me sister!" Luna hissed, sprinting out of cover. 

Celestia aimed and fired. The castle was quite far away, she couldn't quite tell where Cadence was- she had to trace the return fire.

"Ow. You got me. You can stop now." Cadence said. 

"Cadence please." Celestia murmured, as a few arrows hit near her. "Ow!" A few of her hearts disappeared. "OW-" 

"I bucking hate you." Luna muttered, her eyes briefly flicking over Celestia's death message. 

"Luna..." 

"I'm kidding I love you." Luna sighed, went back to a side road and started mining through one of the buildings in an attempt to get closer while staying protected.

A few moments later she managed to chip away one of the solid blocks of diamond.

"Well okay... I'll just be leaving..." She murmured, slowly backing away from what appeared to be a house stuffed full of TNT. She had to be careful not to trip the switch, wherever it was. It probably also meant the other houses were similar, if not worse.

It was a shame she didn't think to bring a crafting table with her, since there weren't any trees here in the crystal kingdom. She could probably use that, some sticks, and make herself a set of diamond tools, what with the over-abundance of the material in this part of the world and all.

"Hey sis, you mind bringing me some wood when you come over?" She said.

"Yeah. Sure. Okay." Molestia5000 replied.

*

This is the spot, Cadence thought to herself, staring at a 1x1 space on the ground in the middle of nowhere. It had taken her far too long to get here, but it was where the compass points. 

She suppressed a giggle to herself as she switched from the compass to a stack of obsidian.

*

"So how's Twilight doing?" Luna asked, as she carefully disarmed a trip wire that was probably attached to all sorts of bad things.

"Oh you know. Dealing with all the shite that I can't be bothered with." Celestia murmured with absolute honestly. No really, what point was there in lying? "They haven't written me a friendship report in a while... I feel like times are really changing nowadays." 

"Really? But the wings you threw on her were totally fine?" Luna cast her a flat eyed gaze.

"Look, you had to admit that was well played. Now that she has more power everypony can go bother her instead of me. Mostly. Plus she deserved it, completing Starswirl's spell and all." Celestia shrugged, crafting a diamond pickaxe. 

They were silent for a moment as they equipped themselves. There was enough diamond here to make a full set of armor. Plus five million more. 

Luna put on her diamond helmet, then frowned.

"Wait, what the buck was Starswirl's spell meant to do in the first place?" She turned to look at her sister.

"What do you mean?" 

"Like, initially it jumbled up the cutie marks of the Elements of Harmony- and then Twilight corrected it. And then you made her an alicorn and nothing more on the spell happened. So did she fix it, or did she just... Diffuse it?" Luna asked.

"I... She definitely fixed it..." 

"Right, so what the hell did the spell do?" Luna growled in frustration.

After a few minutes of thinking about it, Celestia just shrugged. 

"I dunno." 

Luna looked like she was going to press on for more answers, but she rolled her eyes and started towards the castle again.

"Okay." She stated, and no further questions were asked.

*

"Where is it, where is eeet?" Cadence hummed to herself, searching around the forests outside the empire's glass 'shield' dome. It had to be around here somewhere... She circled around the perimeter of the kingdom, doing her best to search in the dark. But luckily, the sun was rising again.

*

"Alright! We made it!" Luna declared, waving her sword triumphantly in the air. It would have a better effect if the blood of all the mobs she had slain could show on the sword, in which case, it would be crimson with a hint of lime. Because brutal cave spiders.

"No you haven't." Cadence rejected. 

"We're standing right here." Celestia stated, though they couldn't really see Cadence since they were below the tower, where the crystal heart chamber should be. It was there, but it was static and extremely crudely made. Literally just three diamond blocks arranged in a kinda-sorta-close-enough heart shape.

"Alright let's get up there and shank her with diamonds." Luna announced, spun in a circle for a bit, then frowned. "I uh... Where's the entrance?" 

The tower stood on four legs. Whereas the real tower had doorways on the legs and stairs within, this minecraft version had none.

"Oh yeah. I forgot to put those in. Oops." Cadence murmured.

"Really? Well how the hell are we meant to get up there?" Luna seethed. 

"Well... I mean, you aren't." Cadence replied, and Celestia mumbled her agreement:

"It's true." 

"Well alright but..." Luna looked around. "God, earth ponies SUCK." She cursed. No wings, no magic. Great. It's not like brute strength'll be getting her anywhere with this one.

They'll just have to try slowly mining and replacing their way up to the balcony, which; they were fully aware Cadence could kill them from at any moment.

It took them ten minutes to get past the initial legs, at which point they were able to mine inwards and emerge in the interior of the castle. Bucking finally.

"You actually laid down the carpet. In the proper pattern." Celestia said, staring at the ground.

"Well you know. I had time." Cadence shrugged.

"We're coming to get you Cadence! You can't escape justice!" Luna yelled, charging further into the castle and valiantly slaying five zombies because she forgot about tripwires again. 

They made it to the balcony, and she knocked down the door with an axe. 

"RAARG- Where is she?" She stopped, swinging her axe aimlessly because there was no one here. 

"Oh goddamnit." Celestia sighed, staring at the rows of arrow filled dispensers in disapproval. They were wired with red stone in a way that would allow them to fire periodically, and because of the various elevations and placements of the dispensers it would make it as if each shot was different, even though from a distance they all appear the same.

"WHERE IS SHE!?" Luna roared a little, breaking the circuitry in anger. 

"Not telling." Cadence said.

"I WASN'T ASKING YOU!" Luna yelled, throwing a pillow at Cadence's door. She heard the thump and couldn't help a squeaky giggle.

"So you're asking me? How the buck am I supposed to know?" Celestia seemed offended.

"NO- I WASN'T- I WASN'T ASKING ANYONE!" Luna felt like clawing her face off. All that work to get here, for nothing.

They walked back into the main hall area again, Luna looking down, somewhat defeated. 

"Hey, maybe-" 

"Don't talk to me." She mumbled. Then she shook her head vigorously. No! They've come too far! "Damnit, we have to catch her! YOU HEAR ME CADENCE? WE'LL GET YOU!" 

"Sure." Was Cadence's response, after a few seconds. 

"Alright, sis. There's only one other door here." Luna growled, looking around the main hall. "She had to have gone through there. She had to have." She said. 

"Okay." Celestia said, following suit.

"CHAARRGE!" Luna yelled, swinging her sword at nothing in particular. This time she actually took note of the pressure plate, and intentionally fought her instincts to press the 'open door' button.

But she rammed face-first into the door anyway. 

"Wut...?" She asked, confused as ever, then she heard the hissing and looked down. "Awww phuck..." 

The pressure plate wasn't linked to the door at all. Instead, it was attached to probably five hundred tones of TNT within the walls of the castle.

"Oh well." She said- at least they had cleared a path up to this point. They just had to speed run back here.

It was daytime already, but... When she respawned, everything was as dark as Pinkie Pie's soul.

"I... What..." She looked around herself at the walls of obsidian.

"D:" Celestia had a similar reaction. Though what ensued from her was less violent.

Cadence laughed somewhat maniacally as she sprinted away, two more beds added to her inventory.

"CADENCE YOU- CADENCE- I-" Luna was at a loss for words, and Celestia quietly ate popcorn in a corner as she fumed. "Oh you are so dead." 

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? You can't- AH! AAH! LULU- PLEASE! STAHP!" 

The doors to Cadence's room had been blasted off its hinges, and Luna was brutally clubbing the princess of love over the head with a cushion.  

"LUNA-! CELLY! HALP ME!" 

"N͎̳̖̯̰͠Ò̜̦̳̟̻̝Ṕ̺̤O҉͕͈̠͓̟̰N̛̪̜͍Y̘̪̜̝̳ ̪CA̫͇̮͖̩̕Ṋ̗̯͈͔̬ ̵S͎̲̳͉̜̺A̩̮̺̪͙͕V͓̤̖͠ͅE͖͉̖͇̠ ̹͝Y̘̝̺͔̯̜͚O͎̹͖͔U̞̫̦̕ NOW!̷͖̣"̞̭̦̳͈̘̥ L̨un̷a r͜oar͢e̵d͝,͘ co͟ntinuing͢ th̷è ͝rel͡en̕t̡le͝s̨s ̛a̧t̸t̡ac̢k.͜

"CELLY-----"

"҉͏͍͚̝͍̲̳̝̳̪͕̲̭̺͚͈̦̳͖̀͘͟Ń̷̴̳̝͔̼̦͟͞o̹͈̤̞̙̙̣͉̣̩̖̼͘͜ͅP̸̧͏̴̨̭̠̜̯̲̪̼͓̩ͅO̴̵͉̫̳̝͚̺͓͉̥͈̰͙n̛̳̜̹̰̹͓̝̬̗̹̹͓̯͉̹̖̤͝Ý̷͕̩̮̟̼̻̪͘͝ͅ!̢̛͇͕̰̘͇̺̼̱͝͝!!!͏̷҉̵̜̺͎̟͇̦̯͉͍͝ͅ"̢͖̖̲̲̰̥̘͚̼͕͠͠ͅ     ̙͖̗́ ͠͏̢̻̱̭͎̕͜ ̛̟͕͔̺͍̮̙̗͍̪̗̹̦͇͎̙͓͘͝͠ͅ ̡̢̛̗͓͔̝̫̝̗̞̺̙̞̫̭̥̥͔͞ ͚͇̘̩̹̣̻͈̼́ ̸̛̞̳̱̜͚̘̳̥̤̙͇̬̭̝̦̦̬̩͍̕͠ ̵̨͇̮̗͔̞̫̫͓͈̜͓̬̳̲ ̸̸̡̧̺͙̜͍̲̯͎̲̩̯̥̬́ͅ ̧͏͙̟̟͕̰̙̪̣̪͉̫̱͍̻̲ ̛͠҉͏͓͕͓̺̣̦͎̗ ̝̺̯͙̦͚̺͘͢ ̧̡͉͔̭̲͖̙̕ ̕͟͏̥̣͎̩̜͓̟ ̛̣̮̩̲̫͔̞̜͕͉̫̰̞̥͖̗̙͢͝ͅͅ ̴̧̠͙̟̞̮͈̳̪͟͡͝ ̡͏̴̵̷͓̞͔̞ ̨҉҉̪͓̪̝̟ ̧͝͏̠̝̜̝̟̥̩ ̕͏͕̝̙͙̙̲̙̲͖̭͔͢͠ ̷̢̥̟̘̲̪͎̝̗̯̕ͅ ̶̸̡̯̦̩̩̠̺̮͉͓͈̪̤̪̺͕͉͍͢ͅ ̵͍̪̠̼̟̺͍̻̝̼͉̫͚͚͚̫̀͜͠͞ ̛͠͏̟̼͉̤̮̠͔̞̘ ̸̢̗̮̠̦̼͎͚̦̪ ͢҉̴̟̱̬͎̤̟͎̗̹͎̤̫͇̟̗̳̯̩͇́̀ ̷̀͏̬̺͚̣́͟ ̡͠҉̙̳̲ͅ ̕͏̛͔̟̳̗͚͓͖ ͏̶̢͓̘̜͕͕͡ ̶̛҉͙̳̲̰̟͉̗͚̯̼̩̫̺̫̦͡ ̶̷̨̢̞̰͎̼̯͇͙̬͉̼̹̟̮̼͕̻ͅ ̷͚͉̫̝͕̠̩̕͞͞ ̷͟͏̗̰͈͙̺ ̶͉̯͉̼̞̲̝̥͈̮́̀ ̵̘͍̻̰̱̙̲̩̖̘̝͇̤ ̢̛͔͈͎̹̦̰̼̤̩͙̪̲͕̠̭͎̰͖͞͡ͅ ̵̴̨̨̼̬̟̗̗͙͜ͅ ̛̪͔̖͓͕͕̥̬͕͎̣̝͖̘ ̶̷̧͍͕̱̞̗̱̞̟̥͇͖̜̳́͜ ̶̙̭̭͚͕̟̹͟ ̢̤̻͈͉͍̖͖̀́͡͠ ̨͍̤̘̬̺̬̘̤̲͇͔̱̲͘ ͔͕̮̱͎͇͍͚͓̺͍̼͔̰͓͓͈́̀͞ ̤̣͚̺͕͇̣̻̗̖̳͍̲̻͕̫̜̟̱́͘͢͡ ̹̥̠̱̭͚͝ ̶̢̯͍̺̰̣̗͎̠̞̰͍̰͍ͅ ̛̭̳͖͇̯̮͎͉̝̙̠̝͓̹͍͔͈̫͘͢͜͠ ̡̥̮̥̲͇͟͢ ̵̩̤͓̺͉͉̬̬̻̪̘̩̜̕͟͜ ̶̧̛̹͚̭̺͖̖̮͢ ̵͓͖̖̮͇̮͈̺̝͇͕͍̝̜͠͠ ̵̸̨͓͖̖̳̟͚̝͓̥̤̳͓̲͇̘͖̻̫͜͡ ̶҉͔̼̲̲̘̟̀͟ ͈͈̘̞͈̜͕͖̲͈̭̠͇͞ ̨҉҉̪͓̪̝̟ ̧͝͏̠̝̜̝̟̥̩ ̕͏͕̝̙͙̙̲̙̲͖̭͔͢͠ ̷̢̥̟̘̲̪͎̝̗̯̕ͅ ̶̸̡̯̦̩̩̠̺̮͉͓͈̪̤̪̺͕͉͍͢ͅ ̵͍̪̠̼̟̺͍̻̝̼͉̫͚͚͚̫̀͜͠͞ ̛͠͏̟̼͉̤̮̠͔̞̘ ̸̢̗̮̠̦̼͎͚̦̪ ͢҉̴̟̱̬͎̤̟͎̗̹͎̤̫͇̟̗̳̯̩͇́̀ ̷̀͏̬̺͚̣́͟ ̡͠҉̙̳̲ͅ ̕͏̛͔̟̳̗͚͓͖ ͏̶̢͓̘̜͕͕͡