//------------------------------//
// 1 Frogs 
// Story: Judicium Aer Aqua 
// by Brass Polish 
//------------------------------//

	Cheerilee was the only educator in Ponyville at the moment. Whenever she was unavailable to teach a class, a substitute would be summoned, and whoever that was depended on the subject that was being taught that day. So when Cheerilee had a dentist appointment on the day she was meant to teach a class about frogs, her first choice was Pinkie Pie, who happened to be a fluent ribbitter. But Rarity had already asked Pinkie to accompany her to a BYOM event in Loch Azure. Cheerilee’s first choice would have been Fluttershy, but she knew public speaking was her idea of Tartarus. In any case, who else would know more about the ancient Parenting Ponds than Fluttershy?

“How could I refuse?” Fluttershy rambled to a bird who needed medicine for indigestion the day before she was meant to take over for Cheerilee. “She’s out of options. And there’s no reason why I shouldn’t share my knowledge with all those little ponies. Even so, what if I get tongue tied?”
For a second, she considered asking Discord for help, but somehow, she felt that he would be more of a class clown than a teacher’s aide.

“Anything wrong?” came a voice from the schoolhouse roof.
“Oh. Good morning, Derpy,” Fluttershy smiled. “Dropping Dinky off?”
“I did that already,” Derpy replied. “I’m ringing the bell this morning. Nervous?”
Fluttershy couldn’t hide it. “Yes.”
“Well, just take it one step at a time,” Derpy advised. “And don’t lose your temper.”
“My temper?”
“Yeah. Sometimes, foals don’t take substitutes seriously,” said Derpy. “I taught a math class once and I don’t think anyone was listening. It was pretty frustrating.”
Fluttershy wasn’t sure how she felt about the idea of no one paying attention to her lecture. On one hoof, no one would notice if she misspoke. On the other, no one would learn anything about the fascinating subject of the ancient Parenting Ponds.
“Hey, look!” Derpy pointed. “More foals are coming.”
Fluttershy looked back and saw Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara and Rumble approaching in the distance. Not wishing to be spotted until class started, she zipped into the schoolhouse. Dinky was at her desk sticking an eraser underneath one of the legs to stop it from wobbling. She saw Fluttershy come in and hit her head on the underside of her desk in surprise.
“Are you substituting today?” she asked.
“Um…”
Dinky zoomed to one of the windows, flung it open, and called out to the approaching students. “Hey everypony, Fluttershy’s teaching us today!”

Derpy rang the bell much too early for Fluttershy’s liking… and little too loudly as well. The students ambled into the schoolhouse chattering about the surprise of a replacement teacher. Once everypony was seated, Fluttershy plucked up courage and came out from under Cheerilee’s desk.
“Um… good morning, everypony,” she said.
“Morning, Miss Fluttershy,” chorused Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.
Fluttershy went redder than the Alicorn Amulet. Everything she knew about frogs and their ancient ponds vanished. Everything she knew about everything vanished. Scootaloo looked towards the back of the room squinting her eyes. She thought for a moment that there was a Cockatrice behind them. Then she remembered that Fluttershy could easily subdue one with the Stare.

Within minutes, it was clear that most of the students hadn’t expected Fluttershy to say or do anything. Button Mash had his Joy Boy out and hadn’t bothered to turn down the volume. Silver Spoon had gone over to Diamond Tiara’s desk after she’d pulled out a Daring Do book. Dinky had taken the eraser out from under her desk leg and was rolling her pencil along the uneven surface. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo attempted to prompt Fluttershy into beginning the lecture, but the no avail. The sight of most of the foals fooling around was far from encouraging. Twist decided to do roll call herself, but barely anyone responded when she said their names.

There was a knock. Fluttershy’s head snapped to the left.
“Sorry to interrupt the class,” said Crosspatch.
“Not at all,” smiled Fluttershy.
“She’s got that right,” muttered Gilt Eyes.
“I just had my little brother enrolled in this class,” Crosspatch explained, moving over so Lazybug could enter the school house.
“Lazybug’s gonna be in this class?!” burst out Apple Bloom. “But he’s already got a job.”
“Yeah, but Crosspatch thinks I outta get an education,” Lazybug replied. “We have missed out on quite a few decades.”
“I’ll just add him to the register,” said Fluttershy, delighted for this distraction.
“Well, have a good day at school, Lazybug,” said Crosspatch. “Heh. I’ve always hoped I’d get to say that.”

“So Lazybug, since this is your first day of school, why don’t you tell the class about yourself?” Fluttershy asked after she’d written his name onto Cheerilee’s attendance sheet.
In seconds, Lazybug had achieved what Fluttershy couldn’t in twenty minutes. Only he and Apple Bloom knew all the details of the Zap-O-Lantern, and Apple Bloom hadn’t disclosed every little thing beforehoof. And everypony was entranced at Lazybug’s description of his and Crosspatch’s mutation that meant they needed water every ten minutes or so.
“Is that what that’s for?” asked Snails, pointing to a squirt bottle that Lazybug had brought with him.
“Uh, huh. And here’s the cool part,” said Lazybug, grinning from ear to ear. “We can breathe underwater.”
Diamond Tiara dropped her Daring Do book. “That’s how you did that!”
“Did what?” asked Silver Spoon.
“My dad hired him and his sister to get a bunch of frogs out of our pool four weeks ago,” Diamond Tiara told them. “They were under the water for a long time chasing frogs across the bottom.”

Fluttershy was excited. How lucky was she that the subject was brought around to frogs? If this impromptu seminar kept going, she might not have to say a thing.
“Were ya worried about us?” smirked Lazybug.
“Kind of,” said Diamond Tiara. “If I hadn’t seen the water waving around, I’d have thought you hadn’t survived. You did look like you were having fun down there.”
“I was, but my sister hates frogs herself,” chuckled Lazybug. “She can’t stand animals with strong legs like them. They can be lightning fast, and that gets frustrating when you’re trying to catch them.”
“Is that why she had you fling them out of our yard with the skimmer?” asked Diamond Tiara, trying not to crack up at the memory.
“Yeah,” grinned Lazybug before turning back to the rest of the class to describe the whole event. “She finally snapped and said to me ‘Lazybug, you get the skimmer and when I throw one up to you, home run it!’ I…”

Lazybug was about to mention to the chortling class that he made sure to aim where the frogs would have a soft landing, but he was rudely interrupted.
“OK, that’s enough of that. Please take your seat, Lazybug,” Fluttershy said firmly.
Lazybug, slightly taken aback, slipped into a vacant desk.
“Alright everypony, if you don’t mind, let’s get on with our lesson,” said Fluttershy.
Some of the students grumbled.
“No, no. No more distractions,” insisted Fluttershy. “Button, please put your game away. Silver Spoon, please go back to your own seat. Dinky, please fix your desk. Let’s carry on.”
Filthy Rich usually hired Fluttershy to deal with frogs in his pool, and it never even crossed her mind to send them hurtling through the air to get rid of them. How inhumane was that?

Everyone sat silently as Fluttershy spoke so quickly, she was making up for lost time. All the information she had about century-old ponds where frogs gather once a year simply fell out of her.
“The closest Parenting Pond to Ponyville is about six miles south of Froggy Bottom Bog,” she said, pointing at a map hung up on the blackboard. “And no matter what’s in their way, frogs will go straight from the bog to the pond. Unfortunately, there’s a rail line between the bog and the pond, so some good samaritans go there once a year and help the frogs pass safely over the line whenever a train comes along. Now, the humane way to send frogs over…”
“Hey, wait a minute,” piped up Lazybug.
“No more disruptions, please,” Fluttershy hissed.
Lazybug angrily took his seat again.
“The correct way is to either fly a hoofful of frogs over the track, or to magic them over,” Fluttershy continued. “This means that only unicorns and pegasi can effectively help frogs. There isn’t much an earth pony can do in this situation.”
Lazybug scowled.

After recess, the Parenting Pond lecture continued. Fluttershy went on speaking forcefully as though a few bag eggs were chattering while she was trying to teach. In fact, in stark contrast to the morning’s events, all the foals in the room were giving her their undivided attention.
“The last thing that happens during these annual visits is the return trip,” Fluttershy said when the dismissal bell drew near. “Now does anypony remember what to do if you are kind enough to help the frogs on their journey and they come across a road or a rail line?”
Twist, Sweetie Belle and Featherweight raised their hooves, but Fluttershy pointed to Lazybug.
“Well, you said you have to be either a unicorn or a pegasus,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Correct,” said Fluttershy, smiling at him for the first time since she’d started her lecture. “The right thing to do is to use your wings or you horn and gently carry them over the traffic. The wrong thing to do is to fling them through the air with a skimmer.”
“Hey, look!” Lazybug spluttered. “It’s not like I threw them at a wall or anything! I…!”
“Please take your seat and don’t interrupt me while I’m teaching,” said Fluttershy forcefully. “I will not tolerate trouble makers in my class. Now, before the bell rings, I’d like you all to know…”
“Excuse me.”

Crosspatch was standing in the doorway.
“Sorry to interrupt the class,” she said for the second time that day, “but it sounds like my brother’s first day of school isn’t going well.”
Fluttershy seemed to revert to her usual timid self. “You’re… a little early.”
“I volunteered to ring the bell so I could be here as soon as Lazybug was done class,” said Crosspatch.
“But Derpy was ringing the bell today,” objected Fluttershy. “I saw her when I first came here this morning. She told me she was on bell duty.”
“She was ringing the bell for the morning,” Crosspatch explained. “I offered to ring it for the afternoon. Now is Lazybug being naughty, or are you just being difficult?”
“Well…”
“Because it sounded to me like you’ve got a problem with the way he and I deal with troublesome animals,” Crosspatch went on.
“Well…”
“We’re not veterinarians. We’re pest control. We have to deal with stray animals who trespass in attics and gardens,” Crosspatch ranted. “There ain’t much room for gentleness.”
“Well maybe you and your brother wouldn’t be so rough if you hadn’t been silly enough to try and eat a zap apple that wasn’t ripe,” Fluttershy snapped.
The tension in the schoolhouse was thicker than Sonata.