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Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor
Chapter 3: Unsettled, Settling In
"Wait!” Twilight shouted, jumping up next to Samus and accidentally jostling some of the controls on the dashboard. The ship lurched from side to side as the little pony’s hooves landed on several buttons and switches. The other passengers stumbled a little as the ship rocked and bumped. The bounty hunter quickly pushed her away and regained control, glaring at her.
“Knock it off!” Samus snapped. “Are you trying to get us to crash?”
“Put it down!” Twilight shouted, ignoring her. “Put the ship down over there!” she pointed at a massive spire of a mountain below them, jutting out of a grassy plain. Waterfalls cascaded down the sides of the mountain, forming rivers that snaked out away from the source.
“What’s down there?” Samus asked, an eyebrow raised.
“Fly around to the other side,” Twilight explained. “You’ll know where to put it down.”
Samus looked to Mario and Link and shrugged at the both of them. The two of them shrugged back, Link nodding to signal that she follow what Twilight said. With a sigh, the hunter banked the ship left, cruising in an arc around the tall, steep mountain. As the ship crested the mountain, Link and Mario gasped, and even Samus’ eyes widened a little, impressed.
Sitting on the side of the mountain was an alabaster white city carved into the stone; a vast metropolis of tall buildings of whimsical architecture and colorful structures. A huge marketplace sprawled out below them, filled with bustling activity, indistinct figures moving from place to place in a hurry. Observatories sat atop massive schools and universities, the telescopes swiveling around, presumably to peer at the ship that the group approached in. Towers and turrets speared the sky from the massive castle at the center, their stained glass windows reflecting the sun in a rainbow of colors and lights.
“Canterlot...” Applejack and Fluttershy both gasped.
“Is this your home?” Mario asked, a slight frown settling under his moustache.
Twilight stood on her hind legs and put a hoof on Samus’ shoulder. The hunter grunted threateningly, shoving the little unicorn off, but she paid her surly attitude no mind. Instead, she pointed out the window towards the castle, directing the pilot to a grassy courtyard sitting just below the tallest tower. “There!” Twilight shouted. “Put it down there!”
Samus looked to Mario who shook his head. “Not a good idea.” Samus said, gruffly.
“What?!” all three of the ponies shouted.
Mario sighed. “Look, Twilight, it isn’t a good idea to go down there yet. There’s something that you gotta know about the Sma- wah!” Mario was cut off as Twilight practically tackled the plumber, slamming both of her hooves on his shoulders, her face getting a little too close to his.
“That’s Canterlot, though!” She explained. “I grew up there! If I can get to Princess Celestia, we can clear up everything! The girls and I can drop out of the tournament, you can get some better fighters from the military, and my friends and I can just study from the outside! We have to go down there!”
Mario sighed. “No, Twilight, we can’t.”
“But...” Twilight stuttered, her lower lip trembling, “but the Princesses can help!”
“They can’t help us here, Twilight.” Mario shook his head sadly. “They’re back on your world.”
Applejack stamped a hoof. “But Canterlot is right there!” she shouted. “What are y’all trying to pull?!”
“If you’d let me explain-” Mario started to say, only to duck as Twilight’s horn started to glow a fierce purple. He, Samus, and Link all ducked for cover, expecting her to attack them when suddenly there was a dazzling light and a loud “pop!” When the stars cleared from their vision, they saw Twilight was gone.
“Where the hell did she get to?!” Samus snapped, looking at the scanners on her ship and only finding five life signals. She was just about to open her mouth and ask another question when Link tapped her on her shoulder and pointed out the windshield at the castle. There, on the highest balcony, they saw a tiny purple figure picking itself up off the ground and stumbling into the castle.
Mario sighed. “Merda...” he whispered, stepping up towards Samus. “Come on, we need to follow her.” Samus nodded and put the ship in gear, lowering the craft down to the courtyard.
Fluttershy tugged on Mario’s pant leg. “Um...” she asked quietly, “why can’t we ask Princess Celestia for help?”
Mario groaned. “Well, you see…”
* * *
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight shouted, stumbling into the throne room. Her voice echoed around the empty chamber, not a soul in sight as she roamed the vacant halls of Canterlot Castle. The purple unicorn was becoming increasingly frantic and discouraged. The balcony she’d teleported to had led directly into Princess Celestia’s personal chambers and she wasn’t there. Nor was she in her study, her observatory, or the royal kitchen. In fact, Twilight hadn’t seen hide nor hair of anypony anywhere in the castle.
And now to discover the throne room to be just as void of life as the rest of the castle, well... let’s just say that Twilight’s mane was beginning to curl a little bit.
“Oh... where could she be? Where is everypony?” Twilight trotted in place nervously. A repetitive thumping noise came from outside the castle but Twilight paid it no heed. She was too wrapped up in trying to locate her missing mentor.
“Could she be in the garden?” Twilight asked nopony in particular. “I know she likes to take her tea there, but that still doesn’t explain where everypony else is!”
The thumping got louder.
Twilight continued to pace around the throne room. “Maybe she’s still in Ponyville?” Twilight tapped her chin. “But that still doesn’t explain the staff and I didn’t see Ponyville from the air!” She pulled on her mane. “Uuughhhh! This doesn’t make any sense!”
The thumping started to rattle the windows.
She whirled her head to the wall. “And what in Equestria is that noi-”
That was when the giant cockatrice smashed through the wall.
Twilight stumbled back with a shriek, scrabbling to her hooves and ducking behind a column as the giant beast flew through the castle wall, sending rubble and stained glass tumbling everywhere into the throne room. The beast let out an ear-rending screech, shattering every window in the room as it rampaged through the hall. Twilight vainly tried to block out the noise by covering her ears with her hooves, for all the good that it did as her head pounded and rang nonetheless.
The beast scrabbled around on its gigantic chicken legs, skittering around the throne room and shrieking its head off as Twilight assessed the situation. “Alright, Twilight, think! Canterlot Castle is completely deserted and a giant cockatrice has smashed into the throne room.” She beat her hoof against her head a few times. “Why does that seem so familiar?!”
“Hi-Ho, Princess! Give them no quarter! Release the Kraken!”
Twilight blinked at the faint but enthusiastic battle cries that could now be heard from outside the castle. Battle cries she recognized immediately.
“Spike?!” She gasped, only to realize herself and cover her mouth.
“SKRAAW!!”
Twilight flinched. The giant cockatrice had obviously heard her. Peeking around the side of the column she gasped as she saw it looking her way. Quickly she broke eye contact so as not to invoke its petrifying gaze. The massive thuds of its footsteps quickly grew closer and closer as it advanced on the little pony.
Twilight fidgeted to herself, her mind racing as she tried to figure out what to do. Cockatrices in general were very resistant to magical attacks, and the whole “giant” aspect would make fighting it even harder. And Twilight wasn’t exactly a capable enough fighter to take it on physically, especially since she wasn’t armed in any way. Not to mention that if she locked gazes with it for more than a moment she’d start turning into a lawn ornament… again.
The creature roared right above her, slapping at the column with a giant wing, knocking it over and revealing the purple unicorn.
“Nope!” Twilight yelped, clenching her eyes shut and alighting her horn
The cockatrice lunged down at her, ready to snap her up. Only to be surprised when its jaws bit down on nothing but air.
Twilight reappeared in Canterlot town square a second later in a flash of light. Shaking off the post-teleport nausea, she quickly opened her eyes and looked around.
She instantly wished she hadn’t.
Canterlot was in complete disarray. All across the skies, a swarm of giant mutant cockatrices was laying siege to the city. Buildings were toppling over and in flames all across the metropolis. Ponies were running screaming everywhere, ducking into cover, only for that cover to be immediately blown apart by the cockatrice invasion. Pegasi were flying around, attempting to attack the monsters with lightning and hail, while unicorns were on the ground, futilely attempting to attack them with spells. Earth ponies were having the best luck with physical attacks, but only when they could manage to get close enough to actually hit the beasts. Which was not often. And given the number of new statues around town, it seemed those that did get close didn’t manage to put up a fight for very long. Twilight shuddered at the memory of being petrified herself once back in the Everfree Forest.
But there wasn’t time to focus on any of that. She was looking for just one creature in the crowd of mayhem.
“They may take our lives… but they’ll never take OUR FREEDOM!” came a faint shout from above her.
Twilight’s eyes shot upward as she let out a gasp, all at once overjoyed, relieved, and terrified. There, directly above her, was Spike. The little dragon was, of all things, riding atop Princess Celestia and wearing an eyepatch whilst wielding a trident against the attacking monsters
“Spike!” Twilight called out “Princess Celestia! I’m here! How can I help?!” She screamed at them, trying to get their attention. Sadly, neither the princess nor the baby dragon seemed to hear her over the din of the battle.
Twilight stomped a hoof in frustration. She quickly lit up her horn and cast a “make-it-louder” spell on herself. “SPIKE!” she called again at a volume that hurt her own ears. “PRINCESS CELESTIA!”
They still took no notice of her. Spike belted out something about somepony named Leroy as he stabbed a cockatrice in the belly with his trident. The princess continued to silently fire white hot solar plasma into another cockatrice’s face.
Twilight huffed, cancelling her spell. Obviously they were just too focused on the battle to notice her, she rationalized. She needed to get closer to them. Quickly, she looked around at what was available at hoof, locating a cloud that a pegasus was pushing in an attempt to hit a cockatrice with lightning. ‘That’ll do’ Twilight thought to herself, quickly casting a cloudwalking spell upon herself and casting a teleport spell.
She landed atop the cloud with a soft ‘puff.’ Turning to the pegasus pushing it she lit her horn and levitated the cloud away from him. “Sorry, I’ll bring this back, thank you!” she called, not noticing how the pegasus didn’t seem to react at all to her presence, despite her stealing his cloud.
Twilight swiftly maneuvered the cloud through the fray like a flying carpet, sailing towards her mentor and assistant, paying no heed to the curious lack of attention she seemed to be getting. In mere moments, she had levitated the cloud right up astride Spike and Celestia.
“Spike! Princess! I’m here!” she cried out to them, firing a bolt of magic into the eyes of an incoming cockatrice. “How can I help?!” she asked.
She got no response. Spike said something to Princess Celestia about being unable to get ahold of her and the Princess replied something about being busy. Neither of them paid any mind to Twilight.
“Princess?” Twilight called. “Spike? What’s going on?! Why won’t you talk to me?”
“Booyahkashaa!” Spike cried as he leapt from Celestia’s back onto the back of a cockatrice, digging his trident deep into the back of its neck. “I AM THE ÜBERDRACHEN!”
Twilight’s teeth grit as a fire burned behind her eyes. Her mane was curled and disorderly and starting to smolder. “Princess! Spike! Stop ignoring me!”
And then
They all flew away
The cockatrices all took wing and retreated at once. Their massive dragon wings carried them to the horizon and beyond in mere moments. The pegasi all suddenly descended or flew off into the horizons themselves and the unicorns and earth ponies on the ground all suddenly seemed to return to their business in the city, all traces of panic gone. Buildings that had toppled over became instantaneously fixed as rubble and mortar lifted itself off the ground and back into place, like somepony had hit a rewind button on the destruction. Fires extinguished themselves and smoke and dust drifted away on the breeze. Anypony that had turned to stone was suddenly and inexplicably freed. And Celestia and Spike both quickly descended into the city and beyond Twilight’s sight, without even a word to her.
The battle that had previously been raging and warring above Canterlot, tearing her hometown to shreds… had suddenly and inexplicably stopped without even a word. And the whole thing took less than half a minute.
Twilight sat there on her cloud above the city, her mouth hanging open. Part of her wanted to cry. After all, both the Princess and Spike, two of the people she loved most in the world, had completely ignored her just then. Part of her wanted to scream out in frustration that she hadn’t been any help at all during the battle and that she’d gotten no answers or help whatsoever with the whole ‘lost in another world thing.’
Most of her, however, just wanted to sit there with her mouth hanging open as she wondered just what the flying flock happened.
After a few minutes of sitting there, trying to rationalize what had just occurred, her mind started to finally piece itself back together. Slowly, she descended back into the street, everypony else in the town square giving her an oddly wide berth.
“Alright… think, Twilight. Retrace your hoofsteps,” she said, tapping the side of her head with a hoof. “You flew in on the ship… no cockatrices above Canterlot then. Teleport into the Princess’s chambers. No cockatrices. Wander around the castle. No cockatrices. Enter the throne room. Suddenly cockatrices. City in peril. Everypony panicking. Fight cockatrices for five minutes. Suddenly no cockatrices again and the city is fixed in seconds…” Twilight shook her head, looking around the square. “And nobody but one or two of the cockatrices themselves seems to have even NOTICED me!” she shouted, stamping a hoof angrily.
Turning her head, she glared angrily at the crowd that seemed to simultaneously be intentionally giving her a wide berth, but also seemed to be oblivious to her existence. It was paradoxically infuriating in all the wrong ways.
Twilight cantered towards the crowd, only for the crowd to move away from her as she came near, still seeming not to notice her existence and still just seeming to go about their business. Twilight seethed, gritting her teeth and growling. She lit her horn and activated another teleport, right into the middle of the crowd.
“YOU!” She shouted, grabbing at the nearest pony she could as soon as she reappeared in a flash of light. The pony in question happened to be a walleyed gray pegasus mare that Twilight recognized as Derpy Hooves from back in Ponyville. “Derpy! Why are you ignoring me?! Why is everypony ignoring me?!”
The walleyed pegasus seemed to struggle in her grip, but her expression didn’t change from her usual state of vaguely puzzled contentment, despite the unicorn’s tight hold upon her shoulders. Derpy didn’t even seem to look at her. Sure, the pegasus’ eyes were directed at her face… usually… but they were glassy and seemed to gaze right through her, never looking the unicorn in the eyes.
Twilight stared into Derpy’s unresponsive face for a few moments, a tear of frustration trickling down her cheek, before letting go of the blonde mare. Derpy didn’t even acknowledge that she’d been stopped and just continued aimlessly wandering on her way.
“RAAAAGHHHHH!” Twilight screamed, stamping her hoof hard into the pavement. “What is going ON around here?!” she cried.
“They can’t hear you.” Came a voice from behind her.
Twilight whipped around to see Mario standing in the center of the town square. Behind him stood Link and Samus, who had armored herself again, and from behind the two of them, Applejack and Fluttershy rushed out towards her. Sniffling, Twilight fell back on her haunches and opened her arms, letting the two of them fall into a hug atop her.
The three ponies all spent a while hugging as the three humans approached them. Samus’ face was indistinguishable behind her visor, but both Link and Mario’s faces were set into sad frowns.
Applejack and Fluttershy soon released Twilight from the group hug. “What do you mean they can’t hear me?” she asked. “Why can’t they see or hear me, Mario?”
Mario sighed. “Because these aren’t your people, Twilight.”
Twilight blinked through her teary eyes. “What are you talking about?” she sniffled. “This is Canterlot Square! Princess Celestia and Spike were just flying overhead! Hay,” she pointed out a mint green unicorn shuffling aimlessly through the crowd “I recognize some of these ponies! That’s Lyra! She was my freshman roommate at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns!”
Samus scoffed. “Don’t be stupid, Twilight. I thought you were supposed to be a genius or something.” Twilight winced, her lower lip trembling. Link punched Samus in her armored arm. “Well she is!” she protested from beneath her visor.
Mario pinched the bridge of his massive nose, his moustache wiggling. “Samus, please.” he said.
The bounty hunter shrugged. “Yeah, yeah.” She said, exasperated. “We can’t keep coddling them though. If they’re here, they’ve gotta learn to adapt.”
Fluttershy fidgeted. “Mario, can you tell her what’s going on like you told me and Applejack? I don’t think we can explain it.”
The red-capped plumber nodded. “Of course.” Mario turned to Twilight, motioning at the ponies milling about the town square aimlessly. “These-a ponies you see? They aren’t real. They’re just constructs.”
“Constructs?” Twilight asked, wiping her snout with a hoof. “You mean like golems?”
Link nodded enthusiastically. Mario blinked and shrugged. “I don’t know what a golem is, but Link seems to think that’s a good explanation.”
Twilight shook her head. “But I recognize these ponies! Some of them have even talked!”
“They were made by the Smashworld, Twilight.” Mario insisted. “When a contestant comes here, the world, or perhaps the Master, takes information from their memories, and uses them to create places and constructs to populate the world.”
“So…” Twilight looked around. “None of these ponies are real, and the only reason they’re all walking around is because I remember them in some way?”
“Exactly!” Mario said with a nod.
Twilight looked back and forth across the crowd. “But it’s all so real!”
“That’s the point.” Mario said. “Everything is how you remember it. Your mind has made it real.”
“But why?” Twilight protested, stamping her hoof, tears dropping from her eyes once again. “Why would this world or this Master do this? Why torture us all by reminding us of home?”
“You gotta remember Twilight,” Samus cut in, “most of us are here by choice.”
“It’s… weird.” Mario admitted. “I don’t know if any of us have ever been comfortable with having our worlds and our friends recreated, but having them all be unable to see or hear or talk to us. But we’ve always been here because we wanted to come. And we always knew that, when people we knew showed up, they were never real.” He shrugged. “We’re in an entirely different world. How could they be?”
Twilight slumped to the ground. Applejack held her in a tight hug, patting her on the back. “It’ll be okay, Sugarcube.” she assured. “It just means we gotta watch some creepy ponies walking here and there. No biggie.”
“But why?” Twilight asked. “And why aren’t you upset about this, girls?”
“We are.” Fluttershy said. “I mean, it seems cruel to do this, but...”
“But we didn’t go runnin’ off like a fool rabbit fleein’ from a rattlesnake.” Applejack quipped. “We let Mario explain and we expected it. Y’all went and got your hopes up, only to get them crushed.”
Twilight’s head drooped. “But I still don’t understand why it would be this way? Why would the world or the Master or whatever runs this place go out of its way to scan our memories and then recreate our homes and friends?” She shook her head. “And what was with the giant cockatrice attack?!”
Mario shook his head. “The Master’s never explained why. We have theories. Most of us think that it’s because it gives us advantages in combat to fight in places we’re familiar with, knowing the lay of the land and all, and the constructs make it more authentic. Some think it’s because the Master likes to toy with our emotions. A few think it’s just because the Master, deep down, just really likes our worlds and wishes he could spend time in them, but has to settle for making knock-offs of them.” He shrugged. “We really aren’t sure.”
“As for the attack,” Samus said. “Sometimes things will happen in these places, especially when the fighting begins. We think it’s because it changes up the match and makes it more interesting, forcing us to adapt on the fly to changing battlefield situations. Monsters will drop in and start attacking, storms will blow in, floors will collapse, giant robots burst through the wall… They never last long though.”
“So… it’s all just to make it into a big show?” Twilight whimpered.
“More or less.” Samus said.
Twilight slumped, falling back into the grasps of her friends. “It all just seems so...” she shivered, “I don’t even know. This is too much.”
Samus stepped up to the weeping pony. The huntress knelt down on one knee, her visor sliding open to reveal her face. “Twilight, would you like to head back?” she asked, her voice low. “We can leave the scouting to everyone else.”
Twilight sighed. “Yeah. I think that sounds good.”
Samus smirked. “C’mon, let’s get you back to the ship.” She stood up.
“Yeah…” Twilight mumbled. “I think I just… I need to lie down.”
“Oh!” Mario suddenly grinned. “Wait until you get to your room. I think that’ll cheer you up!”
“Huh?” All three ponies echoed as they stood up, ready to follow the huntress back to the ship.
“You’ll see.” Mario winked.
* * *
The flight back to the Acropolis was uneventful. Applejack and, surprisingly, Fluttershy spent the time staring out the windows and windshield at the world below as they flew past, pointing out interesting landmarks that would likely be their future hangouts, and potentially battlefields. Mario, Samus, and Link appeared to recognize some of them, but beyond Canterlot, the ponies didn’t happen to see anything they recognized from Equestria.
Twilight, on the other hand, spent the ride back in the living quarters, sitting on Samus’ couch and staring at the wall. The little unicorn was exhausted and emotionally drained after such a trying day. Where before her mind had been racing at a million miles a minute, now she seemed nearly catatonic. When the others had expressed concern over this, she had merely said she was tired and needed to be left alone. Reluctantly, they had let her be, Samus directing her to a drink dispenser in the corner if she wanted anything. Twilight was currently nursing a mug of hot apple cider, though to her it tasted very bland and watery compared to the apple ciders she was used to.
“We’re here!” Samus called from the front room. Twilight sighed, placing her half full mug on the coffee table and shuffling into the front room.
Applejack and Fluttershy gasped. Twilight cocked an eyebrow, impressed, but far too exhausted to do much more than that.
The three of them had not gotten a good look at the Acropolis when they had previously left, and now that they saw it upon their return, it was truly a sight to behold. Sitting at the top of a massive mountain, overlooking an endless ocean, it stretched into the heavens, like it was trying to touch the stars themselves. Pointed spires and rounded turrets climbed into the sky, tickling at the clouds. It gleamed in the fading sunlight, reflecting the dancing light bouncing off the ocean. Stained glass windows decorated the walls, depicting people that they had seen in the hall when they had first arrived in situations that seemed truly impossible. And yet, while parts of it looked like they belonged on the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters or Canterlot Castle itself, ancient and imposing, other parts looked incredibly modern, like the high-rises of Manehattan or Vanhoover, with steel and mortar construction and modern, minimalistic appearances. Even still other parts looked futuristic, like something out of one of Spike’s comic books. Massive metal towers with glowing inlaid green and blue lines running through them. Parts of it didn’t even look like it was built, but rather grown, as massive vines and trees crawled up and down parts of the structure. The building was covered in balconies, statues, and massive decorative structures from seemingly every era and origin. In some ways, it hardly looked like a castle or acropolis, but instead almost like the downtown of a city, bridging time and space as its skyscrapers climbed high into the air. And yet, despite the mishmash of past, present, and future and natural and constructed before them, it all looked somehow seamless, as though it was just right for it to look that way.
“Coming in for a landing. Everybody hold tight.” Samus warned, her visor blinking red.
Link and Mario quickly sat down in a couple of seats that folded out from the wall and buckled themselves in. The ponies quickly followed their lead, strapping themselves into chairs on the opposite side of the cockpit.
The thrusters roared and the ship lurched as the forward momentum slowed and the ship began to hover, streams of fire belching out of the bottom. Samus said nothing as the ship gently lowered down onto a balcony jutting out of one of the more futuristic looking spires of the Acropolis.
“Hoo-wee.” Applejack said, rubbing at her ear. “That sure was a loud landin’.” Fluttershy agreed with a nod and a whimper as she covered her ears with her hooves.
“Everybody out.” Samus said. “I’ve gotta take the ship to the hangar. I’ll see you all later.”
“Bye Samus!” Applejack said, tipping her hat as she trotted up to the elevator. “Sorry ‘bout the rocky start.”
“Don’t mention it.” She said, absentmindedly waving an armored hand.
Applejack and Fluttershy rode up on the elevator to the roof of the ship. Twilight nodded her thanks as well. “Thank you, Samus. Sorry for the trouble I caused.”
Samus nodded. “Don’t worry about it. You just get some rest.”
Twilight left the ship via the elevator, followed by Mario and Link. As soon as the five of them had climbed down from the roof of the ship, their feet planted on the luminescent metal ground, the gunship roared to life again and flew off towards another section of the Acropolis.
“Well then!” Mario said enthusiastically. “Would you three care to find your rooms?”
The three ponies all nodded. “Are they far from here?” Applejack started to ask, only to be interrupted by a whirring noise from behind her. The farmpony turned and nearly jumped out of her skin as she peered into two big, black, soulless eyes staring down at her. “Whoa, Nelly!” she yelped, jumping back and scrabbling across the floor a few feet.
The rest of the ponies turned to see a big gray and red robot peering down at them. The robot seemed to be vaguely humanoid in shape, but only in a bare bones sense. It had a head, but it merely seemed to be two big black eyes inside a rectangular, boxy casing. The head was attached to a long rod which jutted straight down at a ninety degree angle and attached to a hexagonal, hovering platform. Moving up and down along the rod that made up its body was a pair of rigid, ramrod straight arms with small pincers at the ends for hands. The robot beeped and booped at the five of them.
“What is that?” Fluttershy squeaked, hiding behind her mane and curling up a little.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry!” Mario assured them, raising his gloved hands. “This is a friend!”
“Really?” Twilight asked.
“How are you doing, R.O.B?” Mario addressed the robot.
The robot beeped and blipped at him.
Mario smiled. “That’s good to hear,” he said, reaching out and patting the robot on its shoulder. “And the rest of the R.O.Bs are doing well?”
More beeping.
“Good!” Mario grinned, his moustache wiggling. He motioned to the ponies, who had now all dropped their guarded stance and were looking at the robot fascinatedly. “This is Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy,” he introduced.
“Hello.”
“Howdy!”
“...meep.”
The robot beeped at them and rigidly bent its head and body down in a respectful, if mechanical bow.
“R.O.B...” Twilight mused, tapping her chin. “You’re the one that won the last tournament, right?”
R.O.B gave off a quick trilling noise, its head nodding rapidly and its arms spinning around its torso.
“Since then, he’s basically been acting as a butler here at the Acropolis.” Mario explained. “The R.O.Bs like to be useful and help people however they can. You’ll be seeing a lot of them around here.”
R.O.B. chirped and rolled over to Applejack, beeping and pointing to her hat.
Applejack blinked for a moment before deducing the meaning. “Err, thank you kindly, but no. I’d rather keep it on.” R.O.B nodded and rolled back to Mario.
“R.O.B, the three of them are tired and are looking to rest in their rooms.” Mario explained to the robot. “Would you mind leading us to the dormitory?”
R.O.B. beeped and chirped, his arms spinning about his midsection again. His head spun a hundred and eighty degrees and started rolling towards a large door at the end of the balcony. Mario followed with a smile. “Let’s-a go, girls!”
The three ponies all looked between each other for a moment before they were encouraged forward by Link. Shrugging, the three of them followed the robot and plumber into the massive spire.
Despite the outside of the spire’s futuristic appearance, the inside looked practically gothic. Large arches and columns stretched above their heads, gargoyles looking down from the rafters. Statues of various people and creatures lined the corridor, and Twilight swore she even saw a few that might have been shaped like ponies. The walls were lined with paintings of people and creatures, many of which looked similar to the ones she saw in the hall when they arrived. Others looked like the statues and others she couldn’t place. Carefully tended to houseplants could be seen in vases on fancy endtables or in pots on the floor, and the walls were papered with a golden and red trim. The floor was carpeted with a soft, plush, red patterned carpet. The whole place was, in a word, excessive.
“Yeesh” Applejack muttered as she trotted past another R.O.B who was dutifully watering a houseplant. “Rarity would have a field day here.”
“The dormitory area is a bit more sensible.” Mario explained. “The rooms themselves, though… well you’ll see.” He said with a mischievous smirk.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I’m up for any more surprises, Mario.”
“Trust-a me, Twilight.” Mario said, grinning. “You’ll like this one.”
The robot led them through the hallways and into an elevator, which took them down to another section of the tower. This one seemed to be more modern and far more practical. Twilight looked around to see white painted walls with a very few paintings of landscapes on them. The floors were regular hardwood with blue rugs over sections of them and only the occasional plant or decoration.
The ponies were led to a large gridlike area. Dozens of rooms lay out before them in a rudimentary maze, each sectioned off from one another by a hallway.
“So how does this work?” Applejack asked. “Do we jus’ pick whatever room we want?”
“You can pick any room that still has an opening” Mario said, pointing to a door. On the front of the door was a picture of a young-ish looking boy wearing a gold laurel wreath on his head, and next to it was another picture, this one of a strange blue creature wearing a mask that concealed its entire face save for its glowing yellow eyes. “This is Pit and Meta Knight’s room.” Mario explained. “If you find a room with only one picture on it, that means that there’s still a spot up for grabs in that room. And if you find a room with no pictures that means there’s nobody in that room at all yet. Somebody will eventually be along to pick the room and be your roommate though.” Mario raised a finger. “There’s just one rule, though.” he said.
“What’s that?” Twilight asked.
“Well,” Mario said, “the point of this tournament, despite its nature, is still to make friendships across worlds. So, in the first tournament, and in every tournament since, The Master has decreed that, excepting in the case of lovers or spouses, nobody can room with anyone else from their own world.”
“Seriously?” Twilight said. Applejack blanched and Fluttershy shivered. “We can’t stick together?”
“You can try to get neighboring rooms if you can arrange it,” Mario explained, “but you can’t room together, no.” He cleared his throat. “I’d also suggest trying to steer clear of anyone you know you wouldn’t get along with,” he said, scratching behind his head. “People of the more... self-serving persuasion, you know. That’s not a rule, just more of a suggestion.”
“I don’t think any of us plan on rooming with anybody evil if we can help it.” Twilight mused, looking around. “Still, it looks like most of these rooms have been claimed by at least one person already. We’d better hurry if we want to try finding rooms that are close to one another.”
Link and Mario nodded. “We’ll leave you to it, girls. I’m afraid we have somewhere we need to be.”
“Y’all ain’t sticking around?” Applejack asked.
“Sorry.” Mario said with a sheepish smile. “Duty calls, but we’ll see you girls tomorrow at breakfast. Until then, enjoy your rooms. I’m sure you’ll find them one of the best things about this place!” Mario winked as he and Link followed R.O.B. off into another section of the complex. “Until tomorrow, girls!”
“Bye Mario.” Twilight said, waving a hoof.
“Later, Partner!”
“See you tomorrow.”
Twilight looked between the other two. “Well, girls? Ready to pick out roommates?”
Fluttershy shuffled a hoof against the plain blue rug. “I don’t know. I think I’d rather find a room to myself.”
“Y’all heard Mario,” Applejack said, draping a hoof over Fluttershy’s withers. “Everypony gets a roommate here. And if you don’t pick a room that already has a roommate then Celestia knows who could eventually choose you.”
Fluttershy considered this before looking around at the pictures on the doors. To her left was a room already owned by a sinister looking bearded man with green skin. To her right was a crazy looking beaked creature with spiraling glasses and a wizard hat. Behind her, a thin but imposing looking redheaded woman in purple pirate garb. In front of her was Queen Chrysalis.
Fluttershy whimpered and covered her face with her hooves. “N-no… I think I’d rather take my chances.”
Applejack sighed. “Alright, Sugarcube. Let’s see if we can find a hole that don’t already got a snake in it.”
“How about over here?” Twilight suggested, calling from a couple hallways over. Applejack and Fluttershy quickly followed the sound of her voice to find Twilight pointing at a room with no occupants, nestled in between two rooms that were already occupied by a contender. “You can take the middle one, Fluttershy,” Twilight explained, “and we can take the ones on either side. That way, if you have a problem, you can come to one of us.”
“A-alright.” Fluttershy said. “I guess that sounds okay.”
“And don’t you worry none, Sugarcube.” Applejack said, patting Fluttershy’s back with a hoof. “If your roommate gives y’all any trouble, I’ll buck some sense into ‘em.”
Fluttershy smiled softly. “Thank you girls.” Fluttershy reached for the doorknob with a hoof. “Guess it’s time to see what’s so special about these rooms?” she asked.
Twilight nodded. “I admit, I’m curious,” she said, urging Fluttershy on by waving a hoof in her direction.
Fluttershy gulped and reached out to grasp the handle in her hoof, twisting the doorknob and pulling it open.
The three ponies gasped.
Before them stretched a fairly spacious room. Square in shape, it was at least a good thirty by thirty feet, a fair bit larger than the average hotel room. The ceiling was a good 20 feet or so over their heads, likely to accommodate some of the larger contestants that they’d seen wandering around the great hall. Half of the room seemed bare, with a simple white-tiled floor and white walls. Of course, none of this elicited the gasp from the collected ponies.
That was the doing of the other half of the room.
The first thing they noticed was the animals. A couple dozen small, woodland creatures were running around half of the room, ranging from squirrels and bunnies to hedgehogs and songbirds. The lot of them emerged from their various dens and burrows and birdhouses as the ponies opened the door, squeaking and chirping happily in greeting. A number of them scampered up to the door and rubbed up against Fluttershy’s hooves to greet her.
“What in the world?” Twilight gasped, blinking at the sight before her. Even forgetting about the inexplicable presence of the animals, the room was exquisitely furnished. A large, oaken, princess sized bed was nestled into the corner of the room, covered in fluffy pink and blue quilts and blankets, with a large, overstuffed pink pillow sitting neatly at the head of the bed. The floor was carpeted a soft, sea green and the walls of that half of the room were made of a beautiful aged cherry wood and adorned with pictures of Fluttershy and her friends, both animal and pony. Next to the bed sat a sizable bookshelf, carved with reliefs of butterflies and flowers along its sides. It was filled with all sorts of books, ranging from animal care books, to biology textbooks, both wide ranged and specialized, to a small collection of romance novels. A small wooden examination table sat at the other end of the room, next to a large, crackling, cobblestone fireplace, already lit and with a whistling teakettle hanging over it. A large, green duvet with fluffy yellow pillows was set against the wall. Finely carved cupboards and drawers were built into the walls up near the ceiling, presumably containing animal feed, medicine, and tea and china. A circular blue table and a small chair sat in the middle of the room, decorated with a lit, yellow candle and a pink, lacey tablecloth. A number of colorful plants and flowers were arranged all about the room in fine clay pots, brightening up the already cheerful and fluffy room. From the ceiling hung a number of birdhouses, all distinct and colorful, and all inhabited by an adorable little songbird or two, as well as a number of colorful paper lanterns which lit up the room invitingly. Meanwhile, burrows were dug out in the walls along the floor, where an assortment of bunnies, mice, squirrels, hedgehogs, otters and moles lived.
“It’s…” Fluttershy stammered, “it’s perfect!” With a squeal she dashed into the room, cooing over the assorted woodland creatures, scratching behind their ears and rubbing their bellies, giving attention to each and every one of them.
Applejack stepped inside, looking around warily. “How in Equestria is all of this possible?”
“This world never stops surprising.” Twilight confirmed. “Somehow this place actually seems to have built Fluttershy her perfect room.”
“How in the hay does that work?” Applejack raised an eyebrow.
Twilight shook her head. “I have no idea. It’s certainly fascinating though…” she trailed off, tapping her chin. “If I had to guess it must have somehow gotten the image of her perfect room from her mind when she chose this as her room, the same way this place has created other locations from our memories outside the Acropolis.”
Applejack motioned to the woodland creatures that were now playfully dogpiling Fluttershy as the yellow pegasus giggled gleefully. “And the critters?”
Twilight shrugged. “Probably more constructs, like the ones we saw in the fake Canterlot. These ones seem to be behaving very differently, though. They seem fixated upon her rather than forced to ignore her.” Twilight shook her head. “Of course, all I can do is hypothesize at the moment without… further investigation.” Twilight hemmed and hawed.
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “What are you thinking, Twi?”
“I’m just thinking… everything here works so differently from how it works in Equestria.” She rubbed her hooves together. “Just think of all the things we could learn from this place with the proper research!” she giggled.
The farm pony rolled her eyes. “Y’all know that sorta thinkin’ is why I thought y’all brought us here on purpose, right?”
“Believe me, AJ.” Twilight said. “If I could take us home I would. I want nothing more than to see Spike and the Princess and our friends again. And it’s frustrating to know that I can’t. But as long as we’re here, we might as well learn what we can about this place and the people here, right? We need to make the best of this situation.”
Applejack pushed her hat over her eyes and grumbled. “I guess.”
“Oooh!” Twilight grinned, clapping her hooves together. “I just have to see what kind of room I’ll get now!” Twilight said turning to the door.
“What about Fluttershy?” Applejack asked. “You think she’ll be okay?”
Twilight looked to her shy friend. The yellow pegasus now sat on the bed under a veritable mountain of happy woodland creatures. A soft contented giggle emerged from the pile of fur every so often.
“...I think she’ll be fine,” Twilight said with a chuckle.
With a shrug Applejack followed Twilight out of the room, closing the door behind them. “Alrighty,” she began. “I think I’ve had enough excitement for today,” the farm pony said motioning to the room next door with her head. “I think I’m gonna turn in.”
“You sure, Applejack?” Twilight asked. “You don’t want to explore anymore?”
“Twi,” Applejack sighed, “I’m plum tuckered out. I ain’t a clever pony like you. I’m just a farm gal outta my element. I ain’t interested in figurin’ out why a giant hand can make a freaky world like this or if our bedrooms mess with our brains or nuthin’. I just want to go home, and iff’n I can’t do that, then I just want to get some rest and maybe get my mind off all this weirdness.”
Twilight nodded. “Alright AJ. I understand,” she said, patting the farmpony on the shoulder. “I hope you feel better after a good night’s rest.”
“Yeah,” Applejack said, noncommittally. “Goodnight, Twilight.”
“‘Night, AJ!” Twilight said with a nod. And with that, the two ponies turned away from each other and trotted off to their respective rooms on either side of Fluttershy, her happy laughter still ringing through the door.
* * *
Twilight took a deep breath, looking at the door to the room she’d be staying in for the foreseeable future. Twilight looked back and forth from the handle to the picture on the door. This room already had an occupant apparently, though by all rights Twilight couldn’t tell what her new roommate was supposed to be.
“Doesn’t look threatening though…” Twilight said, looking closely at the picture on the door. The purple unicorn took a deep breath. “I guess there’s no point in putting it off. Time to meet some new friends,” she said, resolve entering her voice. With a nod and a glow of her horn, the door to her room opened.
Books suddenly sprang into existence.
Half of the room suddenly became one massive bookshelf carved into the wall, packed from end to end with an assortment of hundreds upon hundreds of books. Some of which Twilight would recognize; most of which, though, she would only be able to guess at the origin of. The floor was a natural hardwood, like her room in the library back in Ponyville. Pulled slightly away from the wall was a prince sized bed covered in sheets patterned with constellations and stars and colored a deep blue, much like her old bed back home. There was a large antique mahogany writing desk next to the bed, covered in pictures of her friends, family, and the Princesses. In the corner was a long table, covered in scientific equipment. Microscopes, beakers, bunsen burners, and dozens upon dozens of other specialized equipment covered the table from end to end. There was even a large, boxy magitek computer on one end, something that Twilight had only seen once when she still lived at the university! And next to the table sat her old electroencephalogram from her basement that she used to try and understand Pinkie sense.
Twilight didn’t pay attention to any of it yet. Instead, she focused on the other side of the room, which seemed to be mostly bare. The only two things to see there were a small, square, wooden bed covered by a blue, starry sheet, similar to Twilight’s and an admittedly massive refrigerator next to it.
That, and the room’s occupant.
A pink, spherical creature slept soundly on the bed, snoring in a squeaky, high pitched voice. It had little pink flaps for arms and big red feet, and beyond that, very few defining features. Its big eyes were closed and it’s mouth was open and breathing steadily in an “o” shape.
Twilight quietly entered the room and closed the door. “Um… Hello?” she called out to the creature.
The creature didn’t respond at all. Its foot twitched a little while he slept, but other than that, it remained silent.
Twilight tapped her chin. On the one hoof, she wanted to meet her new roommate as soon as possible. Twilight was certainly eager to make new friends, like the contest meant her to, and she was incredibly eager to ask this new creature all about its world. On the other hoof, she wasn’t sure how he’d react if he was awoken from his nap. She didn’t want to get off to a bad start with her new roommate, after all. Especially if she was going to be stuck with him for months.
Twilight approached the bed as quietly as she could, looking closely at her new roommate, still debating whether or not to wake him. As she approached, the little pink ball of fluff turned over in his sleep, so that she was looking directly into his admittedly adorable face.
And then the creature yawned.
Twilight yelped as a massive gust suddenly blew through the room. It felt like all the air in the room was suddenly blowing right into the little pink ball’s mouth with all the force of a hurricane. “What in the world?!” Twilight shouted, scrabbling for footing as she tried to keep herself from being blown off her own hooves and into the creature’s mouth as it continued its interminable yawn. Twilight alit her horn and attempted to cast a spell; any spell, to stop the tempest that the creature was creating, but in her state of shock she couldn’t bring herself to concentrate quickly enough and was torn away from the ground.
She screamed as she sailed through the air across the room, straight towards the creature’s gaping maw. Twilight looked into the mouth of the creature and could only gape at what she saw within. A vast void of nothingness filled the creature. Twilight screamed in terror as she flailed about, holding out her hooves to try and grab something.
Her scream faded from the world as she careened headfirst into the endless void of the creature’s maw.