//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Mistakes Were Made // Story: Let's Get Boyfriends! // by MythrilMoth //------------------------------// Soarin and Rainbow Dash went to Hay Burger after the movie. "That movie was awesome," Rainbow said as she dumped ketchup on a basket of hay fries. "Yeah, it was pretty cool," Soarin agreed. He poked a stray pickle back into his burger. "Listen...Rainbow Dash..." "Yeah?" Rainbow asked through a mouthful of hay fries and ketchup. "This whole dating thing...are we doing it right?" Soarin asked. "I mean, are you...are we having fun, or...?" "Hay yeah!" Rainbow said. "We're hangin' out, havin' fun...I'm not big on all that drippy sappy romantic date junk. I'm havin' fun with you." She tilted her head. "Yeah, I'm worried about Fluttershy, an' about what went down with Fleetfoot, but...nopony's dead, Fleetfoot'll get better, an' AJ an' Big Mac are lookin' after Fluttershy, so I can relax and have a good time with you. I'll worry about all that other stuff later." "So...you do enjoy spending time with me?" Soarin asked. "Of course I do!" Soarin sighed with relief. "Good. I was afraid...maybe I was too boring for you." "Nah, you're cool," Rainbow said. "It's just...I've only ever had like, one girlfriend...I don't think she liked me very much." Rainbow stopped stuffing her face. "Really?" "And...she wasn't exactly a girlfriend." Soarin looked sheepish. "She um...actually she was more of a gold-digger." "Oh." "Yeah." Soarin sipped his soda. "We were doing a show in Neighpon, and she...just latched onto me. Her name was Miso Horny." Rainbow snorted. "What was she, a hooker?" Soarin blushed furiously. "Actually...yeah." He looked down at his food. "She...she said she wanted to change her life, but she needed...she needed a good stallion for that. So she came back to Equestria with me, I rented her a place in Canterlot, we got together like, on weekends and stuff...she always wanted to go shopping, or wanted me to take her to all these fancy, expensive places..." He sighed. "She took me for everything she could, and then she met a unicorn stallion who had more money and that was it." "Whoa." Rainbow shook her head. "Dude. That sucks." She paused. "Did she...I mean, did you and her...you know, nevermind. None of my business." She reached across the table and patted Soarin's hoof. "I'm goin' out with you because I want to. Because you're you. Not because you're a Wonderbolt..." She trailed off, then sighed and admitted, "Okay. You bein' a Wonderbolt is a major turn-on. But...you're a good guy, and I know you can keep up with me." Soarin chuckled. "Nopony can keep up with you, Rainbow Dash." Rainbow grinned. "Yeah, okay, true that, but..." She popped a hay fry in her mouth. "I think we get each other, y'know?" "Yeah...I think you're right." "But you do gotta clean up that pigsty you live in. Seriously, dude. I'm surprised your house hasn't turned brown." Soarin grimaced. "It's...it's not that bad...is it?" "It's pretty bad," Rainbow said. "Rule one of having an awesome girlfriend: she's gonna come over, so you gotta keep your place clean." "I'll...I'll be sure to clean it up when I get home." * * * * * Fluttershy made her way downstairs to find Big Macintosh, Applejack, and Thunderlane sitting at the kitchen table, eating brownies. "Mmm...those smell good..." she said. They glanced up. "Hey, you alright?" Applejack asked. "Oh...yes...I'm fine..." Fluttershy ducked her head. "I...Big Macintosh...I'm so sorry about...what happened..." "Don't worry none about that. Sit on down, have some milk an' a brownie." Fluttershy joined them at the table. "I'm surprised you made brownies," she said. "Usually, when you bake, it's..." Applejack chuckled. "Come on now, sugarcube. Ah can bake somethin' other than apple treats now an' along." She sipped her milk. "So...Big Mac sorta told us what happened, but...mind fillin' me in on th' whole story?" Fluttershy looked down sheepishly. "Oh my...I did something so terrible..." She looked up. "Is...is Fleetfoot alright?" The others looked around at one another. "You...kinda put 'er in th' hospital, sugarcube," Applejack said. "But...if'n what Big Mac's sayin' is true, she..." "She dragged him up to the hayloft and fettered him, then...then said...really mean things to me..." Fluttershy took a bite of brownie. "And...well...I know this sounds terrible of me, but...I've never really liked Fleetfoot. Ever since the tryouts for the Equestria Games, she..." She shook her head. "She's the one who tried to talk Rainbow Dash into abandoning Ponyville, and...she just has that really irritating voice." Fluttershy covered her face with her wings. "Oh...oh my...I'm a terrible pony." "You're a wonderful pony," Big Macintosh said. "Ah admit, Ah don't much care fer seein' two mares fightin' over me like that, but..." "If'n you hadn't done what you did, Ah durn sure would have," Applejack said. "That mare is crazy." "Well...yes...she is," Fluttershy agreed. "But that doesn't give me the right to try to eat her face or...or make her wings go up her...umm...rear end..." "Okay how about we get AWAY from this topic right now?" Thunderlane suggested. "Eeyup." "Agreed." * * * * * "So," Cadance asked as she, Twilight, and Shining Armor had tea, "how's it going with Flash?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "He's a total wiener." "Really?" Cadance asked. Twilight calmly and clinically explained her attempts thus far to get to know Flash Sentry better. As she spoke, Shining Armor's eyes grew progressively wider, while Cadance brought a hoof to her face, brow furrowing in agony. "And so we'd only gotten to page 73 of the section on personal history, the part about his lineage on his great-great-grandmother's side, when..." "Just...just...stop," Cadance said. Twilight faltered, frowning. "What?" Shining Armor turned green. "You know...I'm pretty sure big brothers are supposed to feel protective of their sisters and dislike the boys they date, but...I think I actually feel sorry for Flash. Or any other guy you do all that to." Twilight's ears wilted. Cadance sighed. "Twilight...this isn't how love works. Love isn't about measurements and resumes and questionnaires, it's about...well...it's about chemistry." "Right! Which brings me to page 379, which we never even got to—" "NO!" Cadance shouted. "Not...not that kind of chemistry." She took a deep breath. "It's about...it's about how well you connect with another pony. Take me and Shining Armor, for instance. When I first laid eyes on him, I just...knew." Shining Armor smiled. Twilight tilted her head. "But...remember when Shiny left with Mom and Dad for his recital, and you made me tell you everything about him, and we sat up for hours making index cards and pie charts and—" "THAT WAS DIFFERENT!" Cadance shouted, blushing furiously. "Besides, I was a teenager then! And...and..." She looked over at Shining Armor. "Help me out here!" "Uhh...what my adoring and in no way deranged beautiful wife means," Shining said, "is...there has to be some attraction to begin with, or...forcing it isn't going to work." Twilight frowned. "But...when I met the other Flash Sentry, all it took was me bumping into him and him helping me up..." She shook her head. "Why isn't it the same with this Flash? I don't get it..." Cadance tilted her head. "Maybe it's a species thing?" she suggested. "You never had any interest in boys until you went to that other world, did you?" "Well, no..." "Then maybe you're just not into stallions. Or mares. Maybe you're into...what were they called again?" "Humans?" "That. Maybe that's what you're into." Twilight's head drooped. "Well then I'm in real trouble." She paused, a thoughtful look on her face. "Unleeeeeeeeess..." "Oh, I do NOT like where this is going," Shining Armor muttered, diving behind the sofa. * * * * * "I'm back!" Sweetie Belle called. "Welcome home!" Rarity called out. "Did you enjoy your movie?" "Yeah, it was good!" "Did you enjoy spending time with Spikey-wikey?" "Sure, that was cool too. Well, I think I saw Button Mash headed for Sugar Cube Corner. I'm gonna go over there and have a milkshake. Later, Rarity!" As the door closed, Rarity's eyes narrowed. "Button Mash, is it? Oh, no no no. That weird little colt is not taking my precious little sister away from Spikey-poo." * * * * * Pinkie Pie and Cheese stood on a hill overlooking the city of Party Gras, which was alive with lights and music and laughter and movement. "It's beautiful," Pinkie said. "They say the ponies of Party Gras party harder than anypony anywhere else in all of Equestria," Cheese said reverently. Pinkie grinned. "They've never met us," she said. "Are we...are we really ready for a party of that magnitude?" Cheese asked nervously. Pinkie smirked at him. "Don't tell me you're...boneless." Cheese narrowed his eyes at her. "Nopony calls me—" "BOOP!" Pinkie exclaimed, poking Cheese on the snout. Cheese blinked cross-eyed at his nose, then burst out laughing. "Okay, let's go say howdy to those party pilgrims."