//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 // Story: After Alice: The Hatter In Equestria // by Barrel-of-fun //------------------------------// Apologies for the long wait and a short-ish chapter but I have an excuse. I am now back at collage and have the first of my tests coming up soon, so needless to say I'm drowning in revision. I will continue to write but updates may take longer (expect a around a week probably) sorry about that In consolation have the world's most awesome action scene. Michael Bay eat your heart out. Barrel-of-fun Hatter managed to throw himself out of the way just as he felt the projectile fly past his face. The air it displaced as it flew upon it’s trajectory ruffled his curly orange hair slightly as it passed him. Making sure that his hat fell off so that it would avoid damage he tucked himself into a roll and sprung to his feet facing Pinkie. Throwing a quick glance over his shoulder he couldn’t help but notice that rather than the screaming and property damage he would expect a cannonball to make the only damage appeared to be a splattered cake on the wall. “I challenge you to the noble art of a confectionary battle!” Pinkie shouted at him as she began to reload her artillery piece with a layer cake. The anger drained from his face as he realised he wasn’t under an actual attack and he began to smile again. Only to have his smile covered by the layer cake that impacted with his face. Evidently Pinkie knew what she was doing with that cannon. “Boom! Headshot!” she cried triumphantly Hatter wiped the worst of the cake from his face before grabbing a plate of cupcakes from the counter. Spinning the plate like a basketball in one hand he used the other to smack the cupcakes off of the plate, the added momentum of the spinning take-off making them fly through the air like arrows. Cupcakes impacted around Pinkie and several flew towards her face, only to be caught in her mouth. She munched on them happily before going back to shoving a giant jam donut into the end of her cannon. He had to act quickly if he was to avoid another delicious barrage, he wasn’t confident that his taste buds would be able to repel flavour of that magnitude a second time. He once again combat rolled across the shop floor to arrive at the candy cane umbrella stand. He grasped one of the overly large candy sticks and turned to face his destiny. The cannon fired once more, sounding to all the world like a the final toll of a funeral bell. Hatter tensed his muscles. It was now or never. A defining moment in a man’s life that would separate the strong from the weak. As the donut rocketed towards him he swung with all of his might. The world held it’s breath as the jammy treat struggled to break apart from the impact, however the laws of physics eventually gave into the insistent nature of the laws of convenience. The donut shot back across the room at the weapon that had been used to fire it, sticking inside the barrel. Pinkie looked at her weapon for a moment before quipping “Huh, looks like my cannon has been….Jammed! YEEEEEAAAH!” Her main weapon now disabled she joined in the more personal dance of battle. Grabbing a plate of cookies from a nearby table in her mouth she flung them over her head with a flick of her neck. They ended up embedded in her tail but were destined not to stay there for long as, with a twirl and a flick of her tail, she sent them flying towards greatness, towards glory. Towards Hatter. Lesser men would have cowered away from the confectionary barrage but Hatter had seen more than his fair share of troubles and knew how to keep his head in a crisis. He usually kept it on a string but he definitely kept it. He leaned back as far as he could, arms twirling out dramatically as he limbo’d under the delicious projectiles. He cranked his head back some more to see the damage they had inflicted and was surprised to note that they had actually stuck themselves into the wall. Just how hard did she throw them? Ceasing his musings he forced himself back into an upright position and focused back upon the duel. Wielding his candy cane sword and picking up a pie in the other he dashed towards Pinkie, who reached under the shop counter and pulled out her own giant candy cane which she held in her mouth. Balancing a nearby pie on her tail she met his charge with her own. He threw his pie moments before impact, forcing Pinkie to dodge and giving him the advantage in the initial melee. He quickly forced her back with several swift strikes from his weapon however she managed to block each one with her mouth held cane. Their eyes locked at the same time their blades did. Each of them struggled to over power the other. Two low growls came out of two throats as they battled. “Join me, and together we can rule this bakery!” He challenged “Ahm mevah mph mmmph” “erm…pardon?” Pinkie stepped back from the standoff and spat out her candy cane, licking the flavour of it off her mouth “I said ‘I’ll never join you!’” “Oh…okay…then perish for your insolence!” They leapt back to battle and the duel continued. Hatter became so wrapt up in the intricate candy fight that he forgot a very important fact. Pinkie had kept hold of her pie whilst he had thrown his early in the duel. He gulped as he noticed that his opponent had realised the same. She attacked with her cane once more which he was forced to block as she flicked the pie over her head and at his face. He swayed out of the pie’s way, noticing the déjà vu of how the battle had started. However rather than the splat of the pie hitting the wall that he expected he heard something slightly different. There was still the distinctive splat sound of a pie hitting something but it was joined by a startled yelp. The two combatants turned from their duel to make sure that nopony had been hurt by the collateral damage. They beheld a cyan blue pegasus mare standing in the doorway, tufts of rainbow coloured mane sticking around the pie that had hit her in the face. With a quick shake of her head she sent bits of pie flying in all directions. Once the pie was clear of her eyes she opened them to observe the damage that Pinkie and Hatter and caused. She took note of the damaged party cannon and the cake- splattered, cookie-embedded walls before turning her gaze on the two figures that stood guiltily at the centre of it all, candy canes help limp in hand and mouth as they shared a sheepish look. “Confectionary battle?” Rainbow finally asked the guilty parties Hatter and Pinkie looked at each other before back at Rainbow Dash. They just nodded at her. She sighed and walked over to the umbrella stand, drawing for the her own candy cane weapon. “and you didn’t invite me?” she flashed them a grin which they gladly returned. They raised their candy blades ready for battle. With a yell Rainbow shot forward and the battle was joined… Hidden behind a table Rarity shivered as cakes splattered around her and the dull thumps of cane-on-cane combat reached her ears. She poked her head out of her cover and saw two madmares engaged in combat with a candy cane duel-wielding madman. They all had huge grins on their faces as they battled. She shivered once more before ducking back down, resigned to wait out the storm. -Later- Pinkie, Rainbow and Hatter sat around a table munching on the few remaining cakes that had survived the onslaught. Rarity had managed to escape earlier when Pinkie had fixed her party cannon by hitting it with a wrench, which repaired it somehow. The now fully operational cannon had shot a gateau into Hatter, blowing him back into the kitchen of Sugercube Corner, at which point the two pony combatants had given chase, eager to press their advantage. This had given Rarity the chance she needed to escape the bakery and return to the sanctuary of her boutique. “You know, your not so bad Hatter. At first you seemed a bit weird and creepy but your really quite fun. Your alright” Hatter felt a swell of pride at Rainbow’s approval, he had managed to change someponys disposition towards him, and he had had fun doing it. Laughter was truly a powerful force. “Thank you Rainbow, I enjoyed myself too. I hope we can do this again sometime” “Yeah, I’d love to take you pranking with me sometime. I bet you have loads of tricks up those sleeves of yours” “I would be honoured to join you in the time honoured tradition of the prank” “You still talk a bit weird though…not bad, really, just a bit…formal” “My apologies” “Perfect example” she muttered before digging into her next cupcake. Pinkie and Hatter shared a giggle before filling their mouths with cupcake. Hatter nodded to himself as munched away. Today had been a good day.