//------------------------------// // Can only blame myself -Lucky // Story: Broken Shards of Hope // by Thatgamerdud3 //------------------------------// "Hey honey, how are you? How's your day been?" The creamy grey pony asks. Her mane swiveled as her head turned back to the small pan she was currently cooking in. The smell of beans and potatoes filled the room with a hungering scent. "I'm fine, not much has happened today. Just talked to the same guys, same play, same acts. So in a shorter sentence. Good." I exclaimed as to be my day. I tossed my bag down onto a little table off to the side. It dumped out a small binder and script for the new play. "Well ok. Not every day is going to be thrill seeker." My mom said as she still focused on the pan. "Hey, did you hear of the new laws that are going to be announced?" She again spoke with a soft spook in her voice. "No, why do you ask? You know I can't pay any attention to this stuff. I have school, and stuff." I wiggle my light brown hoof towards my bag. "Besides what are so great about new laws?" I asked dazed in my question. "Well apparently these laws will change Equestria for the better. I will do anything for the princesses." She put the pan down and put her right hoof to her heart. It was odd, she usually says for the family no for the princesses. Ah who cares? It's her own thing. I'm not one to judge anyway. "Ok then. That's a very promising statement." I said as I quoted it with air quotes. "Just go get your brothers and father. It's almost dinner. I'm going to need you to lay out the table when you get back." She exclaimed as her hoofs mushed me off into the house I call home. I turned away and trotted off towards the living room, which was connected to the porch, which was was connected to the backyard. Lots of connecting. Oh, I should explain who I am. I'm Lucky Order, I'm thirteen years old. I have a light brown fur coat and dark blue hair. I also have green eyes. To my own benefits I'm gay. Tonight at dinner or after or never I will or will not tell my family that I'm gay. I've been in the closet for months. Almost a year actually. My family, Uhh. Well I have 3 brothers. Two younger one older. The two younger ones are 8 and 11 years old. 8 year old is Sunbean. Funny name right? He has a dark grey coat and blue eyes and hair. 11 year old is Ferpher. Again, funny name right? He is a light blue colt with green hair. And finally my bigger brother, Jordan. The actual only name that isn't funny here. He is red with dark blue hair. Blue hair sorta runs in the family I guess. My mom is a creamy grey as you could already imagine. She has sorta brownish hair. But her eyes sparkle a bright ocean blue. She's quite literally the definition of a TV mother. Either way, enough explaining and more getting my brothers. I stepped into my living room. The rug rubbed against my now open hooves. It felt nice to know my own rug can itch my hoof for me. I probably wouldn't have itched it anyway. I looked to my left to see our porch. Yes, the porch is connected to the living room which is connected to both the stairs to upstairs and the kitchen. Either way, both my brothers were out there in the backyard. Both Fepher and Jordan. Jordan tosses the ball back and fourth. It goes to Fepher then to Jordan. Jordan runs to the end field. Fepher is on his tail, literally. Jordan tumbles and submits to his defeat. I trot to the door lightly. The door slides open like butter. My head pops out just a pinch. "Hey, guys it's almost time for dinner. So get in here!" I sorta yell so they hear me. "We'll be in in a minute!" Jordan yells back. He tossed the ball back to Fepher who sets it down and trots to the porch. I left the door open for them. I then look straight towards my littlest brother Sunbean. He was watching tv. I think Spidercolt was on, cause he was trying to shoot webs through his small hooves. It was cute to look at. Him thinking he can be Spidercolt. Hahaha, no. "Hey, Sunbean. It's time for dinner, get in here." I spoke out to the small colt who didn't pay attention. "I didn't want to do this." I said under my breath. My hot head thought of some dazzling ideas. But I chose one and stuck with it. I trotted over to the TV and watched it for a minute. It was when Spidercolt was fighting Doctor Octopony. Spidercolt ran around the corner and in to the alley. He looked up and saw Doc. Oc. Was banishing up into the sky. Spidercolt thought fast and started at him. He shot one web. *bewwwwwb* I turned the tv off. "What was that for?! I was watching Spidercolt!" Sunbean yelled. He pouted for a second. His eyes looked as if they were about to cry. I kneeled down in front of him and spoke out. "Hey, kid. You can watch Spidercolt later. It's basically on every day 24/7. Besides it's dinner time so get your plot off the couch and move. Or I'll tickle ya." I put my hooves up high in the air and wiggled them. I was always ready to tickle the innocent kid. He was adorable. "Haha! Ok I'll move!" He jumped from the couch and happily trotted towards the kitchen. I followed right behind him. I opened one of the cabinets to find a large amount of plates. I only took 6 out the 20 sum. One by one they slid from my hooves and on to the table. The forks and spoons were already on the dark wood table. So, I took my seat and awaited what the air smelled like, deliciousness. The front door creeped open and in came our surprisingly happy dad. He swung his head to a beat of a song he played in his head. His bag danced in the air when ever he did so. He kissed mother as she was setting out the food. It's like he got a huge raise or promotion, or both. "Hey kids! Guess why I'm so happy?" He said with a huge smile on his face. It spread from one ear to the next. Kinda creepy but he was happy so why should I judge? "Uhh.. Raise? Promotion? Both?" I listed off. ".. How did you know? Yes, I did get both. I am now a manager at where I work! We get a huge raise from around 9 bits an hour to 13 bits. Huge raise! You know what that means? More trips, better ingredients, more funds towards your college carriers. It's amazing." We all applauded him for his hard work and promotion. My mother gave him a great big mama bear hug. "Well, you came just in time for your favorite food. So, dig in!" Mama said as she raised her fork in the air. It was a riot for who could get what the fastest. I just sat there and watched it go down. There was a few pieces of food here and there. Not much but still here and there. I just remembered that I wanted to tell them. I was nervous, I was scared. I didn't want to. I've been hiding to long. I've told a friend and he's accepted me. I was going to do it. No matter the turn out, I always have the night to hop out and go to my friends. "Family, I have an announcement," They all looked up from their plates wondering why I still haven't got any food and/or why I've stopped them from eating. "I've been really nervous to tell you guys. I've actually only told one person. Please don't be mad at me but. I'm gay, I like stallions." Silence filled the room. They exchanged stares of disbelief. I'm guessing they didn't want this to be true. It was understandable. I was just a rat in the family using up money. I could leave and they wouldn't notice. *clap. Clap. Clap. Clap* A slightly slow clap broke the silence. My dad stood up, came around the table, and hugged me. His eyes were filled of liquid pride. A small tear rained down from his eye. "Thank you for coming out to us. We'll love you either way." He set me down and booped my nose. He just as easily walked back to his seat. Jordan and Fepher both came out of their seats and hugged me. Sunbean shook his head in disappointment. My mother started arguing with my dad about me. I knew I shouldn't have came out. It just caused problems. My eyes watered a bit. This is why I keep things to my myself. This is why I blame myself for things. As much as I try I always end up blaming it on me. "Son, come here." Mother motioned her hoof for me to obey and come to her. A look of disappointment crowded her face. Fathers face was next to hers. He looked better and more proud of me, but in his eyes he screamed to run. I have my chance. I know he'll follow. We'll skip town, we'll go to Ponyville. We can be a father son family. Away from my very picky mother. Her judgements were always the worst. She's like a trap, she seems all nice and sweet but when you know her. She can be the worst pony to even look at. My hooves moved towards her side of the table. They wouldn't stop even when I screamed and yelled at them to stop. "Yes *gulp* mother?" I asked with a fake grin on my face. I felt like sweating. I felt like jumping town. I didn't want to face this monster for the second time. The first time was when I was littler. Around 9, I accidentally broke a swing at a park. When I was swinging it fell down. Don't ask me why I just suspected it was old. But still non of the less I got basically slashed by her claws. "Are you sure you're gay? Do you want to make this choice?" She asked with a seriously curious tone. Those questions made me question her own intelligence. That's like me asking her if she is sure she's a mother. "Mom, I was born this way. I like my own gender and that's how it'll be." I said in a quiet tone. I mine as well call it whispering. I didn't want to say anything in the first place. Again I blame this on myself. Just another reason why this family is better off without me. "Ugh. Fine but don't bring any colts into this household. Or I swear I beat you straight!" She nearly stood up and yelled. My long face went to an almost crying frown in no more than seconds. Her face still stood still. Filled with anger and fear. Mine was just filled with fear and sadness. "I still love you son. Hey, can I actually talk to you alone on the porch?" My dad spoke out in a reviving tone. I loved to hear his voice it was like hearing a friend after a long hard day. He motioned me out the door. I followed right behind him. Every step he took I took the same step. The door opened up and we went straight out onto the porch. The sun shined in my eyes and reflected off the glass to blind me more. The breeze was a cool evening breeze. He stopped at the edge of the porch near the stairs. "Come sit with me." He sat down on the stairs. I did the same like a shadow. "Yes dad?" "You know I love you." "Yes dad. I love you too." "Your mother isn't very happy with you coming out. But I will always love you. No matter what you do." He put his right hoof around me and pulled me close to him. "Why doesn't mom accept me?" "Well you see. She was raised that way. She was raised to say stuff like that. It bothers me a lot and I was to get a divorce so I can find a mare more accepting of my family. But I'm stuck with this problem. Just in the mean time don't be to hard on yourself. If you have any problems please come ask me." His voice sounded like the definition of comfort. It made me feel safer than I really wasn't.