//------------------------------// // Goodbye Angel // Story: Grey Little Pony // by Dusty Miller //------------------------------//  “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing." ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed Princess Luna’s Everfree forest garden didn’t require weeding in the normal sense. Everfree plants are aggressive. It’s a matter of how to get them to live together. Grey enjoyed tending the garden. It was relaxing and rewarding. He was never entirely sure if Luna appeared behind him to speak or if it was her voice in his head. “You are obliged to go to Ponyville. Take all the time off you need.” Time off? A vacation? Wonderful. Checking to see if Luna was behind him, Grey ran off towards Ponyville. At the edge of town he stopped, shook his mane and walked in. The place had a day-after-festival mood. Very quiet. A few merchants in the market square. Only a few ponies on the streets. Those ponies turned away from Grey. Grey thought, great I’m back to being invisible. I’m not the snooty one here. He walked around a corner and ran into the mayor. She mumbled, “Sir Grey sorry, I didn't know, I mean excuse me.” She ran off. Grey walked up towards Lily, her eyes widened as he approached. She screamed and ran. What had I done? What do they think of me this time? Now Ponyville was deserted. A blind snapped shut. Something bad has happened. The heroes, the girls! A bad mission? Luna knew! Grey saw a black ribbon on the bunny pasture hedge. Oh no! Oh no, no no no! Grey ran over and screamed, “Fluttershy!” He ran all over town. The bird choir tree. All houses were closed. The last of the merchants were taking their carts away. None would acknowledge his presence or look at him as he yelled, “What happened?” Grey ran down the road to Fluttershy’s cottage. Twilight Sparkle was standing in the middle of the way, blocking him. “What happened? Where is she!?” Grey couldn’t hear her. His ears were ringing and there was a screaming sound echoing inside his head. Twilight looked at the forest then the road then the houses as she talked. “Why won’t you look at me? Twilight continued to talk avoiding his eyes. She said something about Circle of Life. Grey’s mind imploded. He saw Applejack standing on the road to Sweet Apple Acres. He staggered over and looked at her. Applejack made brief eye contact then towards a small narrow path leading into the forest. She looked back at Grey, then down. He walked slowly down the path to a slight clearing. He saw her. She’s standing. Good. She’s breathing. Good. But her eyes, so blurry red. Grey said her name softly so not to startle her. “Fluttershy, I’m here. Please talk to me. Nopony will talk to me, please. “It’s Angel Bunny, he’s gone. He’s walked into the forest.” “Is that where eveypony is, out looking? We have the best trackers and flyers and I can help if he’s gone anywhere near the Everfree forest I will find him.” “I’m sorry, you don’t understand Grey. Sometimes when our loved ones love us so much they don’t want to burden us with their last moments. Sometimes they just slip away to die.” “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have been here. I should have been here for you.” Grey started to cry. Fluttershy said, “Ponies think Angel was spoiled. He was a little. This was his way of showing us that he wasn’t selfish. Do you understand?” “No. I don’t understand anything.” Grey sobbed, “I don’t understand why I’m crying. I’m supposed to be here for you. I’m supposed to be strong for you. I’m supposed to be the strong one.” Be strong earth pony it’s all you have. We’re not smart we can’t fly. Be strong be strong. “Stupid earth pony.” “I’m sorry, you’re not. All races have the same brain capacity and ability to learn.” “What? Why can’t I stop crying? I’m weak, useless.” “No, you are not. It makes you strong actually.” “I don't understand, I let go of my fears and ego. This feels the same.” “You've never mourned have you?” Sob, “What?” Shudder “You never mourned for your past life have you? You never let go.” Grey looked at her and realized. You’ve had so many pets haven't you. Some only live a short time. Some butterflies only live a year. You know how to morn. Oh, princesses above, how many have you mourned? “You’re very beautiful.” He stammered. “I'm sorry, I’m sure my eyes are red and I hear that every day.” I meant more than looks. “And you’re very smart knowing about every animal.” Fluttershy looked towards town, “Relationships are work.They take work.” Will we work? Think, “The manticore has a girlfriend.” “Oh,” Fluttershy brightened, “what's she like?.” “A slightly smaller version of him. Very alert, more aggressive looking than him. Doesn't talk, at least not to me.” “Oh, they talk. When I met him he just liked to roar and kiss.” “What?” “Oh, who's a jealous boyfriend now?” “Boyfriend? Really?” An awkward silence hung between them. “Are you feeling better?” Grey asked. “Yes, thank you. And you?” “Yes. But I also feel bad for feeling good. Is that normal?” “Yes. Would you care to join me in Ponyville? They’re putting together something to help me, um, us.” Fluttershy gave Grey a small hip bump as they walked to town. Grey pumped the well arm to the water trough. Flutershy drank and said, “It's more romantic if you drink with me.” “Guard pony instinct m’ lady, must guard Princess Fluttershy.” “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t like being called that. I’m not really. Now your turn.” Grey drank but darted his eyes back and forth. His ears twitching. “Oh, you’re like a wild animal. That’s kind of interesting.” “I’m sorry if I’m intimidating. It’s my training.” “Let’s just say that I know my animals.” “Quills & Sofas, that's a new store. What do they sell there? Right next to Rose’s flowers shop. That's where I bought you flowers once.” “Oh, I'm sorry; did you say you owe me some flowers?” The bell rang as Grey held the door for Flutershy. Grey showed her a bouquet similar to the one he ate. Fluttershy took it from him and put it on the counter. When the cash register cha changed, Grey’s face turned red. “I’m sorry Rose”, Fluttershy said, “Please put it on my tab. Thank you.” “I never needed money before but now I feel inadequate as a boyfriend.” “You don't need money. I pet sit for every pony. I know you have other talents.” They walked to the town hall. There was a long table covered in sheets of paper and drawing supplies in front of the town hall. It was crowded with children making pictures of Angel. “Where did all this come from?” “Once the loud crazy pony went away, Fluttershy’s friends did this.” Pinkie said. Applejack added, “we’re sorry Grey, we kinda fergot about yah. This memorial is for Angel.” Grey sat at the table and watched the children draw pictures of Angel and give them to Fluttershy. This brightened her spirit which brightened Grey’s.  “Fluttershy can I have this charcoal one? It reminds me of the way Angel looked at me at the palace. And can you keep it for me? I don’t have a safe place for it.” Fluttershy accepted every picture from the foals. She smiled to her friends, “Girls, it’s time.” Twilight Sparkle said, “I’m going to enjoy this. Guard Pony, attennnnntion! Grey jumped out of his chair and stood ridged. “Guard Pony, about face!” Grey snapped around. He looked to see if Twilight’s horn was glowing. It was not. “Guard Pony, quick march! One two, one two.” Pinkie sang as they marched along, “Greys getting a haiiiir cut, Greys getting a haiiiir cut!” “But I don't want a haircut.” “Pinkie don’t tease. Although that’s a great tease.” “Ain't no talkin' in the ranks y'all.” Fluttershy remained behind to look at the pictures and talk to the children. The girls marched Grey to a park with large shade trees. “Guard Pony halt. Stay. Sit. Lie down. sleep. Grey we’re going to stand guard over you and you’re going to take a little nap.” “It’s not necessary.” You girls are pointing your flanks at me.  “I’ll just close my eyes for a minute.” Shouldn’t look. The Heroes of Equestria are moon… “Zzzzzzz.” /]*[\ Grey woke with the sun on his side. The sun is warm. The sun is, breathing? Fluttershy and Grey startle each other. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.” “No, no, that was the perfect nap. How did you know I needed to have a sleep and feel safe?” “I know my animals. Would you mind having dinner with, you know, the girls and me?” “I would be honoured.” They walked up to the Ponyville café as Pinkie Pie was finishing a joke. “…Then the waiter said, I'm not French, I'm just pissy.” Rarity cut her off. “Pinky, hush now.” Grey pulled out a chair for Fluttershy and took the seat next to her. A snooty unicorn waiter looked down at him holding a note pad and pencil in his magic. “I'll have a plate of grass and a glass of water. Um, please and thank you.” Rarity intercepted, “Sir Grey shall have the same as myself. Crisp hay with orchids on saffron rice.” Grey always thought that the café was a part of a chain of restaurants from Canterlot. Very élite and expensive. With waiters from far away, but one was his friend Kip Cat who worked there as a buspony. Grey didn't know how to say hi to his old friend. He felt bad for ignoring him. Spike helped with the plates as the girls talked. To Grey, it was six conversations erupting at once. Spike sat down across from Rarity; set his head on his folded claws and stared at Rarity. Spike likes Rarity!? Rarity tried to pull Grey into the conversation. “Grey, dear, did you ever have any pets?” “No. I like things that fly like birds. And, well, the birds liked me because I never swept up the seeds and bread crumbs somepony left for them, even though she wasn't supposed to.” Grey smiled at Fluttershy. Fluttershy directed the conversation away from herself. “The Manticore has a girlfriend.” “What's she like?” chimed the girls. “A smaller version of him. She looks at me like I'm a talking snack.” “I like her already,” Twilight Sparkle laughed. Feeling a need to put Grey in his place, she added, “Pinky, tell us about the rumors of this Sir Grey.” “Uh, uh. Grey was battling a dragon and was gulped down, Grey fought him from inside and the dragon regurgitated him and he was covered in magic goo which is why he can survive in the Everfree forest.” “I like the version where he came out the other end. And Pinky the other story?” “Oh, oh, Grey is Princess Luna's kept stallion.” Greys jaw unhinged. Fluttershy’s mane dropped in front of her face. “Stop it girls, this instant!” Rarity cried, “Fluttershy has suffered a very personal tragedy and Grey is here to comfort her and he is our guest. This is not acceptable behaviour!” Suck it up and be brave. “It's ok, Rarity, I've already defeated two of The Six.” Pinkie fell off her chair laughing. Twilight huffed, “You did not defeat me. Your princess intervened as I realized the error in my ways and came to my senses. And nopony can defeat Pinkie Pie.” Pinkie crawled up to the table, “It's true! He won his first challenge. His first challenge was sparing with me! And he figured it out. But I won the day and Luna gave me the prize I wanted.” “Shush Pinkie, don't tell them,” Grey paused, “Except Fluttershy if she asks.” Rainbow Dash said, “Good luck defeating a Wonderbolt.” “Everfree forest creatures have a name for you, dragon kicker.” “That's. So. Awesome!” “It doesn't translate the same way; it's more like dragon didn't deserve kick.” “Yeah, but no guard pony could defeat a Wonderbolt.” “I suppose I could ask Luna to teach me how. Tomorrow. Before breakfast.” Grey grinned until the girls chuckled politely. "That's the Grey I remember," Applejack said, tipping her hat back. "We all went to school together. He'd go weeks without sayin' a word then he'd drop one of his dry jokes on us." Pull it back. Don't be over confident in front of them. More humble. “I will tell you a story thus singing for my supper, as it were. “You probably want to know what I do all day. It's a mixture of training and standing guard. You wouldn't find my daily activities interesting so I'll tell you of the time Princess Luna danced for me.” The table was silent. All eyes were on Grey. “There was no road to the palace until the night before the ball. The very eve of the event, Luna walked out of the palace wearing a type of armor and dress I had never seen before. She flew into the air holding a silver pole with her magic with a double edged curved blade on one end. And she danced. I was in awe. I thought it was a form she was practicing in the perfect moonlight, and then when she turned the blade to the ground I realized she was cutting the sod from a distance. She used her magic to roll up the sod into spools and droped them in the forest. Then she removed a layer of dirt in a ball. She disappeared then came back with a very big ball of black gravel that she laid on the road she made. The rock was super cold. I could feel it from where I stood. I think it’s probably from outer space. When Luna returned to the palace, I thought she might say something snarky like 'now every pony knows where my palace is because of you', but she didn't.” Grey looked around the circle of girls. None of them had ever witnessed what he had seen. They didn’t know how to respond. Pinkie squeaked, “Good story.” And the girls clopped politely. Grey walked Fluttershy home. She introduced Grey to the animals and let him help her feed the menagerie then she sent him on his way at sunset. /]*[\ Back in Ponyville at night, Grey was fixing a rather large pothole on a cobblestone road. A single candlelight flickered in a window. He knew he was being watched. Very late that evening when he was done, she walked over. “We didn't get off on the right hoof. I would like to make amends. If you don't have a place to stay tonight, you can sleep in the library.” Grey remained silent. Twilight turned and walked to the library. Grey followed. “It might look different now but the library is Spike’s and my home. You may sleep on the sofa or in front of the fireplace.” Twilight returned with a blanket. “My behavior towards you has been less than stellar. Actually it has been unacceptable. I would like to apologies.” The library was dark save for the single candle still burning in the window. Grey was asleep on the rug in front of the fireplace. “Well that shows a certain amount of trust if you can fall asleep so easily near me.” She murmured. /]*[\ The rooster’s first crow of the morning sounded. Twilight stretched and said, “Good morning Spike, up and at ‘em. We have a guest this morning.” “I'm sure our guest would appreciate an extra five minutes of sleep,” Spike moaned from his basket at the end of the bed. “No, no, mister lazy scales. Up right now.” “Spike moaned.” Twilight brushed her mane and walked downstairs. The blanket was neatly folded on the sofa and the fireplace was swept and clean. Grey was long gone. “How did he do that?”