//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5 
// Story: Soarin's Folly 
// by a human 
//------------------------------//

Rainbow Dash answered her phone.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Rainbow Dash. I need your help."

"Oh, hey, Soarin! How you doing, man?"

"I need you to testify for me in court."

"Court? What did you do?"

"It's a custody hearing."

"I didn't know you had children."

"I don't. That's why I need you to testify."

Silence.

"When is this hearing?"

"Next Sunday."

"Oh, that's too bad." Soarin heard a marker squeak on the other end. "I'm busy then."

"What? Busy with what? What could you possibly be busy with!?"

"A date with Fluttershy."

"A date!? A DATE!? Blow her off!"

"Have you seen her when she gets angry?"

"Just help me out here, Rainbow Dash—"

"See you, Soarin!"

"No! I won't let my life be destroyed by a sandwich!"

Rainbow Dash hung up.

"Stuck up flower peddling bitch!" Soarin yelled, slamming the phone down.

The guard stared at him. "I told you the phone call would be useless."

"Useless? You never said it would be useless."

"I said it could not possibly do any good," the guard said. "Basically the same thing."

Soarin ruffled his hair. "What's even happening, anyway?"

"You're under arrest."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why we're in Fluttershy's house."

Honestly, Soarin had always wondered what the inside of her house looked like, but he didn't want to see it like this, never like this. Currently, he was being closely monitored by two guards. They preferred to be called police officers, but Soarin doubted much about them was "police" or "officer." 

The room gave off a much more foreboding feeling than what he was expecting. It was a perfectly ordinary living room, if a bit Art Deco for his tastes, but he could have sworn he caught sight of a manacle hanging out of a drawer, and some dried blood in the carpet.

"This is where you are being held for arrest," one of the guards said, as if it explained everything.

Soarin looked confused. "But I thought you said something about a hearing."

"You're under arrest for not attending the hearing," the other guard said. "But also, in its place, this is being treated as a hearing."

Soarin stared. "Treated as? By who?"

"We are not at liberty to reveal that," one of the guards said. "The main reason for that is because we do not know."

Soarin paced around, which was a bit of an effort, since his foot was caught on something sticky on the ground. Probably syrup, he told himself. "What do you know, then? Was I ever even contacted about this hearing? Is there any way I could've actually attended it? And what crime did I even commit, anyway?"

"We don't know the answer of any of those things," one of the guards said. "We are but lowly police officers. We arrest people. We follow orders. That's all our job requires. If we were to do anything else, it would cause anarchy."

"So you don't even know what you're arresting me for?" Soarin said.

The guards shrugged. "No."

"Then what was that nonsense about the custody hearing you made me say!?"

"It was a lie." The guard shuffled around a bit. "You know. So you had something to say over the phone. Otherwise it would have been awkward."

Soarin put a hoof on his head. "Oh, this is just too much…"

The three stood there in silence for a bit.

"So what are we even supposed to do?" Soarin said. "Aren't you going to interrogate me or something?"

"No, but we can if it will make you more comfortable," one of the guards said. "We are mainly just supposed to observe you, and reach judgment on your character."

"My character?"

"Depending on what you say, or do, and the way you do it, you may or may not be possibly acquitted temporarily."

Soarin blinked. "How comforting."

At this, the two guards started whispering to each other.

"What, did that just make me look guilty?" Soarin said.

The guards hesitated a bit. "Yes," one of them finally admitted.

"Okay, so sarcasm is out," Soarin said.

"That also increases your guilt."

"What!?"

"As does that."

Soarin approached one of them. "What are you even talking about?"

"Trying to figure out how to subvert the system is a fundamental crime," one of them said.

"Trust me, I'd love to just do what you want and be done with this, but you aren't telling me what to do!" Soarin yelled.

The guards were not quite sure how to react to this.

"Tell me! What do I do!?" he screamed.

This outburst scared one of the guards a bit, who backed into a table and knocked over a photo, breaking the frame.

Soarin stood there, silently fuming for a couple seconds, then walked over to the front door. "I'm done with this nonsense," he said, and opened it. He paused, and looked back. "Aren't you going to stop me?"

"No, not at all," one of the guards said. "This arrest does not need to interfere with your personal or professional life, after all."

Soarin tried to comprehend that for a couple seconds, then gave up. He extended his wings and flew off.

The guards were silent, not sure how to handle this situation, or when their duties ended.

Unfortunately, the answer to one of those questions presented itself very quickly.

Fluttershy approached them from behind, licked her lips, and asked what they were doing trespassing in her house.