//------------------------------// // Of Physicians and Draconeqii // Story: Extraordinary League of Equestrian Gentlemen and Assorted Nettling Travesties // by BlasserundTeurer //------------------------------// Chapter III Of Physicians and Draconeqii Saw Bones could now understand what it felt like to be truly mortified. Not more than half a minute earlier he had let slip a comment on the lustfulness of the lunar princess' derrière, inadvertently managing to do so in front of the actual princess of the night. He still stood there completely frozen, a bead of sweat trailing down the fur on his face, and his jaw moving on its own, trying to vocalize an explanation or an apology, without any success. Luna saw this and, despite her own surprise at the doctor's outburst, decided to help the situation by speaking first. „Some time ago, such a liberal statement would have been highly frowned upon by ourself and mine sister, and might have even earned thineself a reprimand...“, She began but saw that it wasn't actually making the pony before her any more comfortable, so she quickly moved on. „However, as there are more pressing concerns to be dealt with at this moment, we are willing to overlook this 'incident' and simply revert this conversation to it's start with a simple greeting.“ Luna closed her eyes for a second and spoke in a less formal and, according to her sister, more friendly voice. „Greetings, physician. We have come to seek thine help in a matter of grave importance.“ The doctor, more confused than frightened, managed to force out a greeting of his own while bowing low. „G-Greetings princess. O-of course. H-h-how may I be of assistance to you?“ The princess responded by lighting up her spiraled horn in a blue-ish aura and proceeded to lift the limp body of the human off her back, and dangled it in front of Saw Bones. Obviously, Saw had not seen John lying across Luna's back yet, as he visibly flinched when he noticed the creature floating in front of his face. He did however, have the common sense to not cry out „By Celestia's beard!“, in front of Celestia's sister. Instead he asked, with no shortage of curiosity at the sight before him: „P-princess, what sort of creature is this? I don't think i've ever seen anything like it before.“ Before Luna could inform the doctor of her own lack of knowledge on this creature, Discord decided this would be the best moment to reveal his hiding position, as being around Saw Bones neck, cleverly disguised as a stethoscope, now morphing back into the form of a draconequus. This time Saw forgot to remind himself of present company and loudly shouted „By Celestia's beard!“, in horrified surprise. Luna facehoofed, quite audibly in fact, and Discord started laughing uncontrollably, while the doctor, much too late, stuffed both his hooves into his mouth, forgetting to account for the center of balance of his body, causing said body to fall over onto its face. This made Luna rub her temple, and made Discord laugh even harder. The Princess shot Discord an annoyed glare, finally getting him to stop laughing at the doctor. When Saw Bones was standing once more, Discord spoke up. „I'm truly sorry for that, Mister Doctor Sir. However to come back to the matter at hoof, While I myself do not exactly know what he is, and yes it's a he, no female has a voice that gruff and low.“ Luna looked at Discord, confused, and a little bit annoyed. He decided to clarify. „Oh yes dear princess, he did in fact talk, right before he collapsed!“ Now the doctor spoke up. „Collapsed? Why?“ Discord waved a talon at him in dismissal and continued „Please Mister Doctor Sir, let me finish and all will be explained... I think.“ „Now where was I? Ah yes, collapsed! Anywho, as I said, he spoke before he collapsed out in the Badlands. It seemed extremely important to him to inform me of his impending transformation into a nut. He did not expand on what type of nut he was turning into, but maybe that is just my rusty Germane.“ Another confused look came from Luna, and Discord slapped himself lightly across the face with his paw. „Ah yes I forgot. He didn't speak Equestrian, he spoke Germane! He also seemed to require some quiet for this procedure, as he asked for, and I quote: 'this annoying buzzing' to be turned off.“ Luna once more eyed Discord, then turned to the doctor and said: „Physician. We believe that the creature is severely dehydrated, judging from the lack of elasticity in its skin.“ She pinched Johns face, and watched his skin slowly fall back into place to prove her point. „And if what Discord hath said is indeed true, then that only further adds to this conclusion. It might also have suffered from exposure out in the Badlands, but we have no means of judging how long it might have been out there.“ Hearing this, Saw Bones pushed ahead, grabbed his glasses in his magical grip, secured them on his muzzle, and looked at the still floating creature. „Hm. Yes, I can see what you mean, he does look worse for wear. He should recieve a saline infusion immediately before we do anything else.“ He looked around the room for one of the examination beds and an IV stand. Finding the former he looked back over to Luna and asked. „Princess, would you be as kind as to lay him down on his back on that bed over there? Yes exactly, that one there. Thank you.“ After his new patient was lying securely on the bed, he exited the room and came back a minute later, with an IV stand and a few bags of saline solution, which he proceeded to hang onto the stand, and wheeled said stand over to the bed. „Now im not entirely sure...“, he began describing his actions out loud, more for his own comfort than that of the princess, or Discord. „But it should be easy enough to find a vein, if I treat these appendages as some sort of forehooves. I read that from a medical journal on the treatment of minotaurs and other bipedal patients.“ He quickly followed that statement by procuring a catheter after sterilizing his preferred area of invasion, and entering it into the patient's skin, and finally into his vein. He finished up by securing the catheter to the patient's arm and attaching the drip bag to the catheter. „Alright, that's all she wrote.“ Luna tilted hear head sideways and asked „Who hath finished writing what, exactly?“ Saw Bones chuckled a bit at that „That's just an expression princess. It means im finished with the procedure. Im just going to examine the patient a bit closer now, if you dont mind.“, he said and went to work on John, removing his clothing with magic and looking him over, watching out for anything that seemed out of the ordinary. Like those bruises on his skin and that pretty deep wound on his shoulder. „Oh dear“, Saw said after seeing the nasty gash on John's left shoulder. „What is it, phyisician? Hast thou found something of importance?“, Luna asked. „Well, yes actually. It seems the patient was attacked, very recently at that. Whats worse is, the wound seems to be infected.“ The doctor then showed Luna what he meant, by showing her the reddened skin around the wound, and some faintly yellow pus leaking out of it. Her face fell into a deep frown, and after a second or so, she turned around to Discord. „What? I didn't do it. I swear!“ He exclaimed. Luna looked at him for a few seconds, seemingly deep in thought. Not even noticing what he said. When she was done thinking, she turned back to Saw Bones and asked him to take care of the creature as best he could, to which he responded by a simple nod while continuing to look John over. After that, Luna walked over to Discord and spoke. „Discord, we must take leave back to Canterlot and Inform my sister of this, We hope that we are not misplacing our trust in thee if we leavest thou here in our stead to watch over these proceedings.“ Discord, surprised replied after slight hesitation. „Of course Princess! I am quite honored that you trust me enough to leave me unsupervised.“ Luna immediately shot him down. „Discord, trust me when we say this. We only trust thee so far as we can throw thee. However, we see no reason not to let you help us by staying here so that thou might inform us should anything of concern or interest come to rise.“ „Oh... I see. Well. You can still count on moi, dear Princess.“ Luna quirked an eyebrow „Verily. Very well then, we will be off . Fare thee well Discord.“, she said, and disappeared in an azure flash a moment later. „It would seem that it is just you and me then, until your patient wakes, Doctor.“ Discord singsonged that last word in an eery manner, which caused Saw's eyes to widen. Discord grinned. „Would it be too much trouble to ask for a glass of... water?“