Has Everypony Lost Their Mane!?

by wizard32363


I'm All Wonky!


“This is for science!” Twilight couldn’t hide her smile. By now, her spell would have finished, creating ample time for her to test her theory. It was a simple theory, really: A pony’s mane determines how they act.


And, all in the name of science, she had cast a spell to create wigs out of everypony’s mane- all except Princess Celestia, that is- she would get to her last.


“Spike, come on! This test is crucial to all of pony kind!” Spike trudged down the stairs, clipboard in his claws. He was, as always, reluctant to work.


“Why do we even have to do this? It’s not like it will make a difference in the rest of Equestria, don’t-” He was interrupted mid-sentence.


“This is important to me! I must know how it feels-” She lifted up her giant bucket of hair, chuckling to herself at a job well done. “It is for science, you know... I’ll return it when I find- when I’m finished testing!”


Searching through the vat of fibers, she pulled out the one she had been eyeing for years; Finally she had gotten her hooves on the mane of Vinyl Scratch, the hippest pony in town. With the familiar zap of her horn, Twilight’s head was as bare as the snow.


“Are you sure about this, Twilight? I mean, I’m not trying to insult your work or anything, but-”


“Then don’t insult it! I think this will be fun!” She didn’t take any more remarks. Using her levitation, she slowly lowered the toupee onto her head, straightening it to fit.


“So, do you feel any different?” Spike inquired.


For a moment, Twilight seemed to look off into space; Walking over to the mirror, she examined her body from head to hoof, eyes never leaving the fluff of fur on her head. “Nah, I don’t think so. Just my normal self, as always! Wait, where are they!?”


Spike looked quizzically at her. “Where are- who?”


“You know, my fans! Shouldn’t there be people here to watch me organize my books in style? Always, right?”


For a second, Spike freaked out. “No!” He ran over to Twilight, plucking the rug off of her head, seemingly bringing her back to reality.


“Whoa, that was a rush! I need to try them all on, but I can’t get too involved; There has to be an organized way to do this…” Spike sighed in relief, glad to have the old Twilight back.


“Just stay safe, okay Twilight? We wouldn’t want you to get too much of a character.” He was genuinely worried for Twilight. She was usually alert about these things, but now seemed to be slightly less careful, more on the side of carefree.


“Yea yea Spike, I hear ya.” She was only half-listening, pulling out the mane of Trixie Lulamoon. “Now here’s a mane worth wearing! I’ve always wanted to know how that selfish pony feels…


Spike jumped up, ready to object, but his attempts were too late. She already had the wig on by the time he could say “Stop!”


Just as before, Twilight went through her small transformation, Spike asking the assigned question yet again. “Well, Twilight wouldn’t expect herself not to be fine. I mean, I am the most powerful unicorn in Equestria, as said by Celestia herself! So why would I not be alright?”


A small timer went off next to them, set up by Twilight to monitor times between changes. Spike pulled the white wig off of Twilight, who sighed in relief.


“Wow, that was crazy….next one! Though, I don’t want to get too excited today, so only two more, alright Spike?”


Spike nodded in agreement, pulling out a wig and holding it behind his back. “Close your eyes, Twilight. I have one for you to try.”


Twilight had to consider this for a second. “Alright, Spike, but I get last pick, and let’s hope this one goes fairly well.”


She sealed her eyes, holding her head down as Spike graciously jammed the wig onto her head. Opening her eyes and looking into the mirror, she saw a large, organized mane on her head. “Oh...my...Celestia! This is absolutely fabulous!”


This just gave Spike a reason to stare at the impersonator of his favorite mare, Rarity. “Well, you sure do look fabulous, Rarity…”


“Rarity!?” This only forced Twilight to pick it up and throw it at Spike. “Well, I know I’m definitely not Rarity! And where are those fans!?”


Now it was Spike’s turn to stare at Twilight. Wasn’t that Vinyl’s expression? Twilight wasn’t even wearing a wig anymore. “Ummm, are you okay, Twilight? You’re acting strange!”


“Of course I’m fine, Spike! Why wouldn’t I be fine?”


“I don’t know...you’re acting like every other pony except yourself…” He muttered under his breath.


“How about one more?” She reached deep into the bottom of the basket, pulling out an unidentifiable yellow mane. “Huh? Who’s mane is this…”


Placing it on top of her cranium, she instantly fell over. Her eyes went all wonky, her steps messed up. When the timer rang, Spike had to chase her around the room, her body going everywhere except straight. “Geez, Twilight, could you of picked a worse mane!?”


“Oops, my bad…” She apologized, shaking her head to fix her eyes up.


“I think it’s time you returned that hair, though, Twilight. It’s not right to deny everypony else a mane for your tests, wouldn’t you think?”


They didn’t really have a moment to consider the options. The door burst open, Celestia charging into the room with power in her step. “Twilight Sparkle, can you explain this!?” She pointed her long white hoof at the bucket of hair that sat in front of them.


“Well, Princess Celestia, I was conducting research on how manes affect personality and-”


Celestia held her hoof up. “Wait a minute...you thought that a pony’s mane affected their personality?” Her horn lit up, the entire canister disappearing.


“So- they don’t? Then why do all of the ponies differ from one another!?” This question had been driving Twilight insane for years, and now she would ask the smartest pony she knew.


Celestia chuckled, her response coming out in short breaths. “Didn’t you know, Twilight Sparkle? Everypony knows that personality comes from a pony’s colors, not their mane!”


This surprised Twilight just as much as it did Spike. As Celestia leaned in close, Twilight only stared straight forward.


“But, if you ever want, I’ll let you try on my mane to see how it feels!” Her excitement wasn’t kept in. Celestia loved to see Twilight’s reactions to this news.


“So, all of this-”


“Yes, it was all in your mind.”


Twilight looked to Celestia, a grim look on her face that quickly changed into a smile. “I blame Princess Luna!”