//------------------------------// // Of Deals and Demons // Story: The Chaos and The Feels // by dah884 //------------------------------// Happosia, a three hundred year old shriveled old gnome of a human being cloaked in a ninja outfit, was flying through the air of one of the most chaotic places in any dimension in the multi-verse Nerima. He was upset, no that’s not quite right maybe furious beyond reason. Why? Well the answer to that is because the son of one of his last two disciples and heir to the main branch of his martial arts had just used a cheap and dirty trick to defeat him, send him on this particular flight. And why? The boy couldn’t allow the old man his fun. So what if that fun meant groping hundreds of pretty ladies and stealing their silky darlings. It was one of the last pleasures of the old man. Or, at least that’s what he’d tell anyone who asked. “Oh! I will have to teach that worthless, ungrateful, heir of mine how to properly treat his elders. If only he knew how it felt to taste ki especially emotional ki.” Happosai said. A dark gleam graced his face giving him a most menacing appearance. “Ha, ha, ha, he’ll rue the day, ha, ha, ha…” thump! The world was spared some more of his manic laughter by a wandering telephone pole. Many have speculated why a telephone pole was wondering… but quickly dismissed it as being a part of Nerima. Incidentally, the thud had knocked the bowl of petunias off the top of the pole. The pole was sad when his friend disappeared before smashing into the ground. In a dark room, watching a screen, on of many that were the only source of light, a creature, who’s eyes gleamed like a child pulling off the wings of small insect, smiled. It was not a pleasant thing, like the smile of a predator who finally had it’s prey cornered. Sometime later, he retrieved what he needed from the only room in the Tendo compound that emanated a sickeningly dark aura. The room in question was filled with some of the items from the darkest part of the world’s history magical, mythical, and martial all alike stolen from shrines, temples, and ancient tribes. The very air was drenched in a stench both evil and vile. The room, of coarse belong, to none other than the goblin of a human. Entering the vacant lot, he laid down his supplies. He soon got to work drawing the massive circle with intricate patterns and designs. Using a variation of his demon head he put up a defensive barrier of ki, it would protect the ritual from most of the inconveniences of this district. He lit the incense and placed them at their proper places. He placed the artifacts of power and used his silky darlings to refresh his ki. Ki he used to intertwine their power and charge circles. Then removing a casket from nowhere he let a single drop touch the center of the circle. The casket a gift to Ranma stole during that whole wedding fiasco a month or so ago. “Fools, like I couldn’t tell the sheer magic in it, the moment it enter that house. My the mischief I can get in now,” once more a malicious smirk touched his face. The moment the drop touched the ground the circles pulsed pure black, consuming all light, and hummed in an ear piercing screech. “I summon thy, ole dark ones, come forth so we may prosper,” the residents of the district would have been happy for that barrier if they the laughter that arose. In the void of the room with endless screens… “Finally,” the smile spoke. “Sir, who should we send?” asked a face barely visible from the glow of the screens. “I will handle this, personally,” the smirk never leaving his face. “But sir,” the screen monitor began hesitantly, “Hild-sama’s orders were clear. No ranks two or higher are to…” “I know,” his voice was calm and comforting. The subordinate gulped and feared what her fate would be. “Be prepared to call her when I return.” she sighed with relieve. “Oh, and after that I’ll need you to clean the hellhounds cages with your tongue,” his smile never wavering as he walked past her horrified face towards a waiting portal. All she could do was stammer, “a-a-all o-of them?” His smile only grew, “all of them,” and entered the portal. She nearly fainted. Her coworkers just snickered at her misfortune. Happosai was ready to book it the moment the thing cleared the portal and he confirmed what level the demon was. “There’s no need for that happi,” a smooth voice came from the portal. As a tall, handsome man with the scent of suffer wearing a black business suit and hat with a crimson tie stepped out of the doorway between worlds he spoke, “… demon first class, category one, unlimited.” As he stood from his bow, he revealed his golden eyes, ebony hair, two red diagonal slashes between his eyes, and a smile exposing fangs. “Oh, you don‘t say,” smirked Happosai. “And what do I owe this honor.” “Don’t even bother. I am well aware of the last demon,” he said the last with contempt. “to handle your case’s standing policy of brute force. Unlike my predecessor, I don’t see why so much resources are used on a mere mortal such as yourself. I prefer means that are more subtle and require more finesse.” It was all Happosai could do to keep from bursting out laughing, “he’s got to be kidding, does he truly not know?” “What will your wish be? Mind you it will cost you,” he said with that same smile. “Oh, yes he doesn’t,” Happosai started mentally laughing like a mad man. “I’d give anything to teach that brat how it’s like to have to eat emotional ki so I can finally train him properly as the heir to my school of martial arts,” he said with a mask of outrage. “That’s child’s play, are you certain that’s what you want the cost is steep,” that smile not even wavering in the slightest. “And, a rank amateur. This is just perfect,” Happosai thought as they shook hands, sealing the pack. After the demon left a smile graced Happosai’s face and thought, “I’d love to see his face when he finds out my soul and life are both untouchable. Only took them one hundred and eighty-five years to replace that last guy. Maybe, I’ll summon another to ask how that rookie is doing. Arrogant fool,” the residents were so lucky this time as his cackles heard for a few blocks. “Fool,” was the first word out of the demons mouth, after the portal closed. “Call Hild-sama,” he ordered to the horrified looking assistants. One brave soul asked, “the message, sir?” “Tell her we finally have the him.” In Asgard, in the center most structure of Asgard, sitting at a desk just in front and slightly the right of the most intimidating doors in all of creation, sat a secretary minding her business and typing on the keyboard. She thought, “no meetings, reassignments, or reprimands. Tonight I might finally get home early, yay.” A shadow loomed over her, she didn’t notice. Fingers began tapping on the desk, she ignored it. Someone cleared their throat, she stopped and sighed, “how may I help you? There is currently no appointments and HE is currently busy,” she said all without looking up. Had she looked at the smile she was being given, she might have questioned whether she’d really wanted to be a goddess and especially work this particular desk. A silky voice answered, “inform kami-sama that the Daimakaicho, Queen of demons, Hild-sama is here to see him.” The secretary face drained of color as she refused to look up, “um,” gulp. “Your not allowed here. The Ultimate Force and the test, and, and…” “Oh, I’m quite aware. And under normal circumstances, I’d agree with you. But, these are unique circumstances, and that same force requires I come here. In person,” she said in a way too sweet voice. After announcing her, Hild walked up to and pushed the doors open. As she entered she declared, “Kami, have I got a deal for you.” A young martial artist with his black hair tied in a pigtail was hopping from roof to roof, wearing Chinese silks with crystal blue eyes. As he continued to roof hop, a shimmering vortex opened up in front of him. All he had time to do was have his eyes go wide and utter, “oh, shi…” And, then he was consumed by the vortex.