//------------------------------// // Onward to Val Roa's West Gate // Story: Yaerfaerda // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// “All aboard who's farting aboard!” Constable Jake shouted, trotting along the perimeter of Bountiful's old wall with his big moose hooves. He came around to the front of a two-part wagon. Two elaborate coaches had been hitched together. The front wagon was a large passenger vehicle that had belonged to the House of Sehlp for well over a century. It was crafted out of polished black mahogany, and a curved entrance with purple velvet curtains faced the front. The second wagon was slightly larger, made to house supplies and the “personal effects” of the Duchess and her fellow riders. “Next destination, the West Gate!” Jake hollered as he hitched himself up to the front of the passenger vehicle. “We ain't stopping for beggars, buzzards, or boogers! Unless any of them have some sugar to give, if you catch the moose's dirty dirft! Ha HA! Porcupines!” Eagle Eye trotted up to a stop, then glanced aside at Josho. “Y'know...” He smiled. “In a lot of ways, he's just a bigger, slobbier version of you.” “Shut your whore mouth,” Josho droned, causing Eagle Eye to giggle. Meanwhile, a few steps away, Bellesmith and Pilate squatted before Kera. “Remember to speak eloquently. Pace your sentences out and choose each word carefully.” “Try to avoid slang, or references to the Noble Jury.” “It's okay to make things up about Xonan culture, but just try to be consistent.” “Listen to what the Duchess and Rainbow Dash tell you.” “And absolutely no grasshoppers until we're done with this whole escapade.” “Guys... guys!” Kera fussed with the folds of her dress and batted their hooves away. “Chill! I got this! Really!” Belle and Pilate fidgeted. “We just... h-hope that you have everything in order, Kera,” Belle said. “This is a most arduous journey,” Pilate added. “If we could go with you, we would.” “To do what? Smother me some more?! This stupid dress is doing it enough!” “You look gorgeous, darling,” Belle said with a sweet smile. “You didn't need to dress like a princess to be convincing.” Kera blinked, her eyes dull. “Really?” she droned. “Really?!” “Erm... yes... well...” Belle brushed her chestnut bangs back and laughed airily. “I-I suppose I am a little biased.” Pilate chuckled, then smiled. “We're so proud of you, Kera. You've come a long way, and you've had your ups and downs, but in the end you still amaze us just as much as when Belle and Phoenix first found you.” “If not more so.” “Thanks,” Kera said, then stuck her tongue out. “And you're still dorks.” Silence. “Hrmmmff...” Kera rolled her eyes and stepped forward. “Let's get it over with.” Pilate and Belle had to keep from lunging forward. They scooped Kera up in a dear, dear hug, careful not to ruffle her gown. They took turns nuzzling her softly. At one point, Kera muttered. “You guys remember how I was gone... like... really gone... and I kept calling you 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' like I really meant it?” “Yes, Kera.” “We do remember, darling.” “Yeah, well...” The filly exhaled shudderingly, eyes shut. “I-I really mean it...” Belle sniffled. “We know, darling.” She caressed the mare's green mane. “We know. And you can tell us all the more when we're together again.” “Yeesh! Watch it!” Kera suddenly backed up, shaking her emerald bangs loose again. “Don't mess the 'do! You know how long I had this slaved over yesterday?” Belle rolled her eyes and smiled. “Just remember to keep several ponylengths from 'Servant' Dash at all times! We don't want any Val Roans falsely assuming you're somehow related!” “Huh...” Pilate muttered. “I never once thought of that.” “Really, beloved?” “Really.” Pilate's muzzle tensed. “And now I'm struggling to remember what the color 'green' even looked like.” “Mmmf... guh...!” Kera struggled to step up through the front of the wagon behind the moose. “Grrrrrrr... is it okay if I rip a hole through this thing with my magic?” “Here, allow me,” said a calm voice, and then Roarke hoisted Kera up into the wagon. “Eep!” The filly almost tripped on her skirts. She twirled around and stared down at Roarke. “Jee, thanks, Roarke.” “Do not mention it.” “You know, the thing that sucks about this the most is that it'll force us to put off our training sessions.” “Yes.” Roarke's eyes were thin. “And I'm certain you're most upset about that.” “Eheheheh...” Kera laughed nervously. “No, for real, I'm gonna miss making rocks explode and being graded on it by a former bounty hunter slash professional killer slash cyborg mountain harem owner!” “My training will still assist you,” Roarke said. “Only, in a different fashion.” “But I figured I wasn't allowed to blow stuff up while I'm doing this whole lame 'Princess of Xona schtick.'” “The key to being powerful is knowing how often to hold back that power.” “Wow. Deep stuff. Do you really believe that?” “I'm starting to.” Roarke took a step back. “My plate's full of other beliefs at the moment.” She turned aside as three figures trotted up. Rainbow Dash came to a stop, fidgeting in her peasant dress. “Muh... guh... this thing itches so bad.” “I can only imagine.” “Ahem.” Rainbow turned aside towards a pair of mares in matching gowns. “These two are Mamunia and Jet. They're residents of Bountiful, employed in the Duchess' service. They'll be coming along for the ride and... uhm... helping me look more plain, I guess.” She gestured at Roarke. “Girls, this is Roarke Most Rare, my smexy marefriend and world-renown expert in explosions.” Both mares giggled and curtsied. “Pleased to meet you,” one said. “We're happy to serve the Duchess in this endeavor,” the other remarked, then winked. “The little princess too.” “Stop your prissying around and get on board, already!” Jake shouted. “The Constable is a hard moose to disobey,” one servant said and trotted aboard. “Yeah, if you say so,” Rainbow muttered, lingering behind as the mares went inside the wagon. She looked at Roarke, then squirmed in her gown. “I-I haven't even considered looking sideways at those two. So don't you worry.” “I'm not,” Roarke droned. “Besides, they're not your type.” “You mean they can't murder me in my sleep?” “Precisely.” Roarke nodded. A blink. “That gown looks terrible on you.” “Believe me. If anypony could volunteer to rip it off me, I'd choose you.” “I do not in any way envy the task you have ahead of yourself right now,” Roarke said. “It must kill you inside to not be able to fly.” “I... I-I think we both know that a part of me could do without it altogether,” Rainbow muttered. A gulp. “Then again... I-I think we both know that the better part of me can't and won't stop.” “I wouldn't love you any other way,” Roarke said. Silence. Both mares avoided each others' gaze. At last, Rainbow stammered, “Shoot... didn't we say everything that needed to be said last night?” “Yeah...” “...can we still nuzzle like the world's ending, anyways?” “Yeah...” Both mares trotted together, their muzzles making contact. They rubbed cheeks, holding each other close in a veritable death hug. A few spaces away, Eagle Eye stood, grasping Ebon Mane's hoof in his own. “Remember,” Eagle spoke. “The key to keeping the 'tattoos' on is to relax. You're not forcing them out of your skin. It's better to think that they belong there in the first place.” “Right...” Ebon nodded. He gulped. “Sure thing...” “And you can relax and be your normal burgundy self while inside the wagon or remaining unseen within Val Roa. That way you'll be refreshed to turn 'Xonan' when it's time to make an appearance.” “Uh huh. I got that, EE.” “And whatever you do, try not to out-perform Kera. She's the star of the show here, after all. Just sit in the corner and be your quiet, adorable self and—” “If you're such the expert on being a changeling, maybe you should be going instead of me.” “Well, I-I think I pretty darn well qualify!” Eagle Eye frowned. “I've cuddled up with one for Spark-knows how long, haven't I?!” Ebon giggled. He sighed, gazing in the stallion's face. “I'm going to miss you so much while I'm gone.” “It's okay, Ebon.” Eagle smiled, caressing the stallion's chin. “You won't be alone. Kera and Rainbow will be nearby. They'll keep your beating heart well 'fed.'” “It's not just hunger, and you know it.” Ebon gulped, leaning forward to nuzzle his coltfriend. “You've always known it.” Eagle closed his eyes, holding Ebon close. “Can I help it if I wanna protect you? You're so precious to me.” “Think of it this way,” Ebon murmured in his ear. “What I'm doing here and now, to stop Mother? It's like my turn to protect you.” Eagle giggled. “I'm afraid I don't get that kind of math, but okay.” “You'll... uhm...” Ebon leaned back. “You'll keep the kitchen clean while I'm gone?” “You betcha.” “And you and Propsy will remember to do at least two meals a day for every Jurist?” “We've already got an itinerary planned! Don't you worry.” “And remember, no matter how badly Josho complains... he only gets two servings, understood?” Ebon frowned. “The Noble Jury is a skystone ship, not a pleasure cruiser.” “I'll put him on the Eagle Eye diet, if I have to.” “Don't!” Ebon winced. “I want you alive when we meet again!” Eagle giggled. He stole a pick on Ebon's lips, then went in for the kill, kissing him ardently several times before a lasting nuzzle. “Okay... scram.” Eagle sniffled, eyes clenched shut. “Before my last look at you is a misty one...” Ebon backtrotted, lingered, then finally let slip his grip of Eagle's hooves. With a cold shudder, he quickly scampered up the steps and stole his way inside the wagon along with Kera. Rainbow Dash and Roarke were still holding each other by the time the Duchess arrived. “Ahem...” Arcanista cleared her throat as she shuffled by them in her regal gown. “Perhaps now is an inopportune time to inform you that most of my maids are celibate.” Rainbow sighed, leaning back and resting her forehead against Roarke's. She gulped, then murmured, “I gotta go now... 'kay?” Roarke nodded, eyes shut. “Indeed.” “Let's not think of this as a rehearsal for you know what.” Roarke clenched her jaw tight. Rainbow winced. “I... I-I said too much, didn't I?” “Get on board the damn wagon before I eviscerate you.” “Right...” Rainbow finally parted ways, trotting up into the wagon. “Celestia, I'm going to miss that.” “Rainbow...” The pegasus paused, clinging to the front of the wagon. She peered down at the metal mare. Roarke's gaze was as strong as her stance. “I will protect the Jury in all things. That is my promise.” “... ... ...” Rainbow smiled. “Much appreciated, Roarke. When you join up with us in Val Roa, I'll be happy to take my job back.” “You know what I mean, Rainbow.” Roarke stared. Rainbow's lips pursed. She smiled, a very calm expression. Without another word, she turned and shuffled her way into the depths of the wagon. The Duchess was the last to climb up. “Are we ready, then, Duchy Baby?” Jake asked. “So long as your legs can handle the load, Constable.” “Heh... there hasn't been a load this moose couldn't take! Believe you me!” “Colorful.” Arcanista turned towards the wagon's entrance. “Then carry on.” “Not without Floydien, you won't won't.” The air filled with murmurs. The residents of Bountiful—both noble and not—trotted up with wide eyes. Every Jurist turned to see. Floydien trotted up to the wagon, his face hung in a frown. “Brother?” Arcanista stuck her head out, along with Rainbow Dash. “Why have you left the manor?” “The same reason prissy boomer insists on the trot trot.” His red eyes narrowed. “You have a rendezvous with the stabby stabs.” He took a deep breath. “Floydien thinks her stabby stabs are Floydien's stabby stabs as well.” “No shit?” Jake gave a slobbering smirk. “Does this mean the panty-waist remembers his glory days?” “The hairy boomer should shut his hair hole!” Floydien snapped, then glanced up at Arcanista. “Floydien doesn't take kindly to prissy spit, and the shimmer still fog fogs Floydien's antlers. But this mission is still super important to Floydien's boomer buddies. If the stabby stabs believe Floydien to be a Duke, then maybe Floydien can use it to help the boomers get an edge edge.” “I... I-I dunno, Floydien,” Rainbow muttered. “In truth, having Floydien present would distract the High Council quite severely,” Arcanista said, stroking her chin. “We'd be presenting 'Princess Kera' as a front, but Fishberry's eyes would be on my brother.” “Hah!” Jake hollered with a smirk. “Those buggers wouldn't even know what to do with themselves! They'd be too busy with 'Operation Princess Suck-Up' on one hoof while trying to wipe their own dirty flanks with the other!” “Which would make it even easier for me to slip past their gaze and do some recon,” Rainbow muttered. Her eyes narrowed. “Floydien, are you sure about this?” “No.” Floydien's nostrils flared. “But Floydien has done some thinking.” He turned to glare at the moose. “If there's any way to stop the stabby stabs' shimmer glimmer once and for all, Floydien doesn't want it all in the hooves of hairy boomer.” Jake smirked. “Love ya too, douchebagistan.” “There's only one problem.” Arcanista fidgeted. “Though the guards at the West Gate probably won't recognize the Duke, there's no telling what the reaction to him will be in the streets of Val Roa proper.” Pilate spoke up. “Certainly there must be a way to mask his presence.” Rainbow smirked. “I think I've got an idea.” Belle droned. “Is it stupid?” “Is your name 'Ding Dong?!'” “Guhhh...” Floydien wheezed, his eyes dull from the lack of antlers over his head. “This is making Floydien feel sick sick.” “Suck it up, Gomer.” Jake and the elk were both hitched up to the wagon. “If nothing else, this make the trip faster.” “Floydien thinks this is going to smell long and fart fart.” “Only for you, darling.” Jake glanced over his shoulder. “You got his antlers safely locked away?!” “Yup!” Rainbow's voice cracked. “Nice and hidden, too!” “Good! Try not to sit on 'em when you're feeling lonely!” Jake cracked the joints in his neck, almost smacking Floydien with his own antlers. “Harmonica!” He grinned. “Wagons hoooo!” Floydien pushed against the soil with his own hooves, keeping up with Jake's pace. Soon, both were pulling the wagon clear across Bountiful, making for the dirt road leading northeast. The citizens of the village hung every buildingfront, waving and bowing as the Duchess' entourage embarked. “Good bye, handsome!” Props waved and waved. “So long, Ebony!” “Bring us back a souvenir!” Zaid hollered, hugging Props' side. “Preferrably a cheesy one!” “Heeheehee!” “So long, everypony!” “Take care!” “We'll be waiting for your word, Dashie!” “Remember to keep your mane straight, Kera!” As the wagons rattled on, the leftover Jurists stood together in a tight cluster. “So...” Booster Spice sighed. “...how long do you think it'll be before they get sick of the Constable's smell?” “Don't worry,” Josho muttered. “I'm sure Ebon and can morph into a poutpourri bag when the duty calls.” He heard a dull whimper from Eagle. With a sigh, he wrapped a hoof around the unicorn. “There there, fruit basket...” He led the petite stallion towards the forest where the Noble Jury was still parked. “Let's do something to get your mind off the suddenly empty vacuum in your heart.” Eagle sniffled. “Oh y-yeah?” He rubbed his fuzzy face. “Like what?” “Would making me a sandwich be therapeutic?” “Nnnngh... whatever...” “That's the spirit!” Belle sighed, her ears drooped as she gazed longingly on the distant wagon. Pilate leaned in to nuzzle her. “She'll be okay, beloved,” he said. “She said it herself. We've brought her through worse straits, and it's us whom she's saved.” “I know...” Belle nodded, eyes moist. “I never realized how... helpless I feel without her.” “Hmmm...” Pilate kissed behind Belle's ear and smiled. “How about we retire to the Jury. We can feel helpless together.” Belle exhaled through a soft smile. She nuzzled him back as the two trotted off. “Silly zebra...” As the group slowly retreated, Roarke stood behind. She remained still and resolute as a statue, her mane billowing in the morning wind as her gaze stayed locked on the wagon. Slowly, she closed her eyes, and upon a meditative thought... the metal mare smiled. “She will make it, I promise each and every one of you.” When those icey blue eyes reopened, they were tearing. “I swear on my life.”