//------------------------------// // Side Battle: Six Paths to Death (part 6): Boss! // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Please make sure that your "Formatting" setting in the top right is set to "Dark", not "Light". Thank you. A/N: Comparison of this chapter to the sixth part of Power Rangers vs. Power Ponies is inevitable. So... feel free to voice your disappointment in the comments. Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, Sega, and GanonFLCL. --- Within the confines of the Deadly Six base... A certain red Zeti sighs. Three of his comrades are missing in action. The fourth is still trying to engorge himself on the mustard supply. The fifth is busy running her nail file while her mascara drips with the tears going down her face. The boss gets up from his seat and turns toward the door. "If you want something done right,..." --- Somewhere in the Mean Six's temporary headquarters... "... then you must be willing to take the necessary actions yourself." The little pony trots determinedly toward the sliding door. She gives a quick glance around her. The only other ponies available at the base appear to be the redhead talking to her own blood puppet and a sleeping Grayscale. The boss shakes her head as she makes her grand exit. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 3 E Side 9 Five munny on the red Bowser! Three hundred fifty yen on the verbose purple Sweetie Belle! One shilling on them killing each other! --- A/N: Darn it, Discord! --- What? Do you have something against the British? --- A/N: No, that's not... *sigh* Never mind. --- You know what I find more ridiculous than a boss of a designated evil group? Absolutely g**d*** nothing! Oh, you say that too. That's cool. Will Zavok maintain the dignity of the Deadly Six by tying the scores at three? Or will Starlight Shadow drag his chances down into the Void? She's N and I'm F. He's W and I'm B. And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills... ... to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Starlight Shadow -Clone of Twilight Sparkle; The Element of Magic (Discord) -Youngest of the Mean Six since her original's name was last alphabetically -Anti-Magician: draws her magical powers from the Void, the opposite end of the spectrum of Twilight who draws power from the Stars -Essentially capable of the same spells as unicorn Twilight Sparkle (beams, levitation, shields, teleport, material ripping), only more destructive and negative -Has a goddess complex, loves to hear herself talk, and speaks phrases straight out of a thesaurus -Actually gains power if her pride grows -An easily influenced child insistent on destroying the original to prove she is the most powerful -Dismisses anything that's beneath her "Are you insinuating that my manner of speech poses the same quandary as Curaçao's bizarre vernacular?" What the hell did I just hear? All of that gibberish probably means she spent way too much of her early life with a nose in a dictionary. Wait, what are you doing in this section? I don't know. But as long as I'm here, why don't we talk about this fan-written baby horse toy? ... No offense. None taken. *ahem* Starlight Shadow is the Element of Discord Magic. Contrary to its name, it has nothing to do with draconequi and more to do with being the opposite of Harmony Magic. In this story, Twilight Sparkle's magic is drawn from an arcane source called the Stars. Starlight Shadow's magic comes from the exact opposite side of the spectrum called the Void. Oh, so that's where my ex-wife got her blood-sucking powers. Even though she is the opposite of Mom in almost every way, Starlight's abilities that utilize her magic are almost identical in effect. She can teleport, shoot beams of magic, levitate and tear apart giant metal gates, and create shields that can parry the powers of a goddess. The difference is the core of their power. Where Twilight gains magic through her friendships and stronger bonds, Starlight gains strength from pride and arrogance. Yep, sounds like my ex-wife's new boyfriend. At her core, Starlight is still a child. She was created after the rest of her sisters because Mom's name appeared last in the alphabetical order. To make up for her lower stature and age, she constantly fills her vocabulary with words that require onlookers to constantly have a thesaurus ready to match what she's saying to something that can be understood in layman's terms. So... is she Donatello? Not quite. She may know several words that all equate to "idiot", but she is not fluent in techno babble. The smarts actually belong to Curaçao. Well, when you aren't sure what you're talking about, I guess the next best thing is to sound like you know what you're saying by talking a lot. Though, this leads to her ignoring some key details and solutions if she deems them as beneath her. And her capabilities of overpowering the rest of the Mean Six have led this little filly to grow a large ego, claiming the title of "Most Powerful Unicorn" for herself. *sarcasm* Oh, that's just what we needed. Another Trixie! *end sarcasm* I suppose I can kind of understand her position. She wasn't born naturally and the only pony that she can compare herself to in terms of power and talent is Twilight. She just wanted to prove herself to her daddy. Hate to disappoint the sweetheart, but I don't think Daddy really cared what happened to her next. Now that she knows she's just a clone, Starlight Shadow wants nothing more than to destroy her original and to defend her self-proclaimed title. Why do they always pick Twilight? It wasn't even that good of a love story. Huh? Nothing. "And your impudence vexes me so." ---Death Battle--- Zavok -"King of Chaos" -Age: 148 yr; Height: 5'1"; Weight: 146.4 lb (80 kg) -Skills: Magnetic field manipulation, high prowess in fighting, super strength, enhanced jump, flight, enhanced durability, longevity, fireball projection, energy beams, fire breath -Likes: World domination -Dislikes: Sonic, Tails, Dr. Eggman, waste, failure, the Cacophonic Conch -Allows nothing to stand in his way -Has never beaten Sonic -Reluctant to act upon tasks that are "beneath him" "Your threats are almost as amusing as your mustache." Are you sure you're going to be okay with this? Don't worry about it. N and I talk about canonical characters all the time. All right, then. What's black, blue, and red all over? Why, it's none other than Zavok, the appointed leader of the Deadly Six after Zik's semi-retirement. This guy is big. Not only are his steps loud and shaky, he's got the muscle strength underneath all of those red scales. As was stated before, he trained his fighting skills under the teachings of Master Zik. Whatever he learned seems to complement his super strength well, along with the Zeti's natural ability of flight and jumping higher. And like any big red lizard, this guy can breathe fire and/or throw big balls of blue flame. Additionally, his magnetic field manipulation is strong enough to produce energy beams out of thin air. His durability is slightly better than his Zeti brethren and he has lived a long life of one hundred forty-eight years. During that last year, he got dragged in with the rest of the Deadly Six to do Eggman's dirty work all across the Lost Hex. Though he quickly stole the plan of world domination for himself after Sonic inadvertently freed them from the Cacophonic Conch's terrible noise. Zavok's personality has developed into power hungry arrogance. This usually leads him to avoid doing any legwork or tasks that he deems as beneath himself. Are we sure that this isn't Bowser? Considering how many times the Sonic and Mario universes have collided, it really wouldn't surprise me at this point. Fantastic. F takes a drag from his cigarette. Nearby, the sound of a strap is heard. What's with the gas mask? No reason. "One by one, your friends are falling. Soon you'll be all alone." ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this six-part debate once and for all. It's time for a- Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- Zavok punches his fists together. "I will show you my full strength!" Sparks race around Starlight Shadow's horn. "I shall eliminate you with haste!" "FIGHT!" The sparks dance faster before a large, black magic beam shoots forth from Starlight. This beam makes the very space that it travels through feel like it's vanishing. In response, Zavok leaps up high, displacing a lot of his ground in the process. Before Starlight can fully cut off her beam, the Zeti crashes down his giant fist against her back. She bounces against the ground while letting out a pained yelp. Zavok unleashes a blue breath of fire. But Starlight is already back on her hooves. Another channeling of the Void covers her horn as a half-sphere of a shield surrounds the rest of her body. The flames pummel against, but ultimately stream around, the magic shield. Zavok cuts off his fire. Shortly thereafter, Starlight vanishes in a black light. She reappears just behind the Zeti and fires a couple of smaller magic shots at his back. He grunts at the impacts, though he looks relatively unaffected. He turns around and launches some blue fiery blasts from his clawed hands. He then dashes forward with his fist on fire. Starlight's shield spell deflects the individual fireballs. However, the sudden impact of fire and fist combined make her look like she's sweating inside the shield. The Deadly Six's leader jumps back as the pony's shield finally gets put away. He lands atop a giant, mechanical snake and punches his own palm with his opposite fist. Starlight looks up and sees the strange orb of light just above her. A sudden beam of bluish-white light crashes against her before she can react. She vanishes in her teleportation light and reappears on the snake's tail. She gallops forward as more white beams crash down from thin air. But each time these occur, she teleports out of the way just a few feet ahead of her current position. As she closes the distance between herself and Zavok, Starlight takes a leap and lights up her horn. Zavok surrounds his fist with fire before launching a punch. --- "Cut to black." "Huh?" Grayscale Force lifts her head and opens one eye. "Did you say something, RV?" "I'm bored," says Red Velvet casually, "How about you, Clottles? Are you bored?" A tentacle of blood shapes itself into a hook shape. It moves around like really bad lip sync. "Yes, most definitely. Can we go maul something?" The anti-Rainbow Dash sighs. "I suppose." "Grayscale slowly rolls off her cot and the remaining Deadly Two make their way out the door." Darn it, Red! Don't do this again. It wasn't even funny last chapter. "Oh, fine," says the sadist, "Be boring." Grayscale looks at the empty spot that Velvet is staring at. "Uh... who are you talking to?" "A better question would be 'why don't we have a car'?" "Technically, neither of us is old enough to drive," points out the pegasus. "But the question remains," says Velvet, having no idea how Force's point relates to what is being asked. --- Zavok's fiery punch collides with Starlight's midair shield spell. The air seems to be crackling loudly around the unicorn's body as she lands on the section of the mechanical snake's neck. "Do you truthfully anticipate your victorious conditions over me: the only being that can confront a goddess and survive?" she asks. Zavok lets out a single laugh. "My last enemy also faced deity figures and won. But unlike him, you won't overcome me." "Raaaaah!" Starlight yells as her eyes glow with the absence of light. --- "Come on, director!" yells Red Velvet to the sky, "These transitions are far too quick. None of the readers are going to be able to follow any of this!" "Um, who are you talking to?" asks a confused Zomom. "Do you expect me to eat something else if you act crazy?" Velvet turns to the big, yellow Zeti with a creepy smile on her face. "No, Fatty." Her blood flows out into the shape of two giant sickles. "I expect you to die. Ah ha ha ha!" --- "Great." Grayscale Force's sarcasm is emphasized by her folding her front hooves as she flutters. "Thanks, Red. Make me fight the green troll doll." "Can you just wait a second?" asks Zeena as she shakes her hands a bit. "I need at least two minutes for these nails to dry properly." A heavy force field is emitted in all directions from the pegasus as her wings stop. "I'm sorry. I don't give a crap." --- The air practically burns as the energy sparks all over Starlight. She actually seems to be floating inside of her magical barrier. Zavok conjures several beams of white energy from nowhere and concentrates their fire on the point. However, none of them seem to be doing anything. "Such power..." he whispers before he takes a flying leap. He tries shooting some more blue flame, but it doesn't have any more effect than the pure energy beams. The shield holds. Starlight actually levitates with her shield into Zavok and rushes him down through his metal snake. The machine bursts in an explosion of nuts and bolts. Meanwhile, Zavok struggles against the weight of his opponent's pure pride. "I will not forfeit victory against any foe!" yells Starlight, magic still burning. "Not to Twilight Sparkle and most certainly not to oversized, vermillion monstrosities such as yourself!" Her shield briefly drops, but she continues levitating. A large orb of magical energy builds up at her horn's tip. She then angles her pointing down upon her foe. A semi-sphere of Void magic can be seen from the satellite camera. A few miles away, Grayscale and Velvet cover their eyes against the sight of the huge explosion. ... "K.O.!" Starlight Shadow stands at the bottom of a crater, breathing heavily. ---Death Battle--- ~All hail Shadow, villains rise again...~ ~Obliterating everything that's not your friend...~ Well, that did get a bit close at times. Zavok's strength and flight proficiency trumped Starlight enough to gain the upper hand. Plus, he did have an unusual assortment of powers for a Bowser look-alike. But the same could be said of the Sweetie Belle look-alike. Her use of teleportation and her spell proficiency were more than a match for fire and energy. Besides, her power actually increases when her own self-centeredness gets stronger. Her magic of the Void was purely intended for use in destruction magic. As for the remaining survivors of either team, you had a bottomless pit and an ice queen versus a bloody maniac and an apathetic graviton. It wasn't exactly a contest. In spite of their name, the Deadly Six haven't actually shown any record of murdering anybody. I mean, maybe two or three animals died from their combined efforts with Eggman, but I could do that with my bare hands. I guess they won't be wreaking Zavok anytime soon. There is no Shadow of a doubt in my mind. The winner of this round is Starlight Shadow. And the winner of this team Death Battle is the Mean Six. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Death Battle... The collaboration between the four hosts isn't done yet. They'll all need to apply their expertise to fit the villain of bad puns against the villain that got somehow got past TV-Y ratings before being cancelled mid-season. ---