//------------------------------// // Distractions // Story: Artemis Fowl: The Equine Dominion // by _No_One_Remains_ //------------------------------// Foaly stared at the petrified princess with contempt, cursing Discord under his breath and brooding over how easy his task would be with a little magic at his side. I just had to be born incapable of magic, didn’t I? Couldn’t be a pixie? At least I’m smart… It was always intelligence for magical properties, a fair trade in Foaly’s eyes, until this very moment. He could see his workstation just beyond a dark chasm, and a pair of wings would make reaching it child’s play. The beast within the maze roared its systematic roar, snapping Foaly back to the current reality. Taking a deep breath, he trotted slowly past the threshold of the entrance, unarmed, untrained, and uncertain. As he stepped through, a wonderful scent filled his nostrils. Warm, welcoming, and familiar, the opening chamber of the maze radiated with peaceful serenity, a contradiction too obvious to make even Foaly laugh. Flowers dotted the chamber, each from a different genus than the last, none of which offering any form of support in this bizarre trial. A particularly large yellow rose rested at the center, small gemstones strewn around it. Yellow roses represent friendship, right? Why is this here? Going clockwise from the side opposite his entrance, the gemstones were placed like a clock. From 12-3 sat rubies; 3-5 were covered by topazes; 5-7 sparkled with green emeralds; 7-9 glistened with sapphires; and 9-12 were smothered in some form of garnet. And at the very center of the circle, lining the rose’s bulb, were very fine amethysts. Is this some sort of ritual? It’s too intricate, especially for someone like Discord! “Is it really?” the demented voice of the demon in question echoed from nowhere. “Is such an artistic display lost on your lack of knowledge of this world? Such a shame!” As the voice faded away, the beautiful chamber burst into flames. Foaly leaped away from the large rose, the flames singeing his coat and twisting the scent into that of compost. As the fire started to spread, the centaur considered everything he knew about the world and its legends. Following the right wall, he continued on deeper into the maze, the flames extinguishing as they attempted to follow him. Discord is chaos, and the protectors of the world embody the Elements of Harmony. The Elements are given power through bonds of friendship… He thanked Celestia for her little tea party meet n’ greet, the books she’d given him to read coming to the front of his memory. Yellow rose, friendship; so the gems were the Elements! It was a metaphor for Discord’s corruption! Grinning ear to ear that he’d pieced it together, the half-horse burst into a light trot down the narrow hedge corridor. His hand on the right wall, he ran through several dead ends and crossroads before coming to yet another open chamber, this one much less decorated. Hearing the familiar beast’s roar, he hesitated to cross the threshold, fearing it might appear from some sort of hammer-space created by Discord. With his confidence from his last puzzle quickly melting, he stepped through to face whatever awaited him. Hammer-space definitely seemed like a favorite thing of Discord, because the chamber popped to life as the threshold was breached. No more gemstones and flowers, however, instead replaced with crude drawings of creatures and events. They each looked like something from a kindergarten art class, the shapes undefined and the coloring messy. One of the pictures showed what could only be a red-faced LEP officer, an orange scribble smothering the background. Julius? That can’t be just some picture… A memory, one that Discord had given him from his future self. Spliced timelines were one of the most bizarre concepts in fairy lore, and this one certainly took the cake. To think that the entire situation was a product of an in-motion time paradox was unnerving. Are these my thoughts? One showed a centaur with a white triangle on his head. “Congratulations! You win: nothing!” Discord’s voice mocked, only slightly louder than before but still seemingly from nowhere. “What with your lack of artistic prowess, I decided these cheap portraits would suffice. Guess I was right!” Foaly growled, “I’m getting a little tired of your crap, Discord! What’s even the point?” “Point? The only point that I can see is the one on that crude tinfoil hat of yours!” A small golden circle etched its way around the white triangle in question. “You know enough about me to understand that there is no point, don’t you?” The voice faded, the small pictures bursting into flames just like the flowers. Once more barely avoiding a harsh burn, the centaur continued to follow the right wall. This time, however, he was bothered by what he’d seen. Some of those things were deep-rooted. How did he…? It took him just a few moments to reach another chamber, this one with a pool of water in the center. Unnerved by the pictures of his memories, he absentmindedly crossed the threshold. From the center of the pool emerged a small green reptilian creature, resembling some sort of cross between a human and a fish, covered in thick green scales. Something Foaly had, to his annoyance, seen plenty of before. It stared at Foaly with tiny, empty eyes. The centaur rolled his eyes, almost offended that this would be something Discord would throw at him. “Is this the best you’ve got?” he called into the air. “A goblin? These stupid creatures?” “How dare you call me stupid, half-horse? I am General Scalene, the greatest member of the Triad!” A ball of fire formed in the creature’s right hand, a forked tongue whipping up to its eyes. “Uh-huh,” Foaly yawned, turning his attention elsewhere. “And I’m Foaly of the LEP. Your point?” His eyes scanned the room, not capable of believing that this was the only obstacle. Discord is better than this. That display in the last room proved that; he actually almost got under my skin! The goblin grumbled, “You should fear me! I’m the goblin who’s gonna take down the LEP! Just wait ‘till those weapons come in!” The fire fizzled out as the creature melted back into the pool. Catching only a few words, he realized they were hints of his future, what would be called the B’wa Kell Rebellion. He chuckled internally, Little does he know we win that battle. “Do you win that battle? Are you certain he was referring to the rebellion?” Discord’s taunting erupted from the pool, ripples of water spreading like sound waves. “Perhaps you should think a little farther ahead.” Foaly considered it for a moment, thinking of some other time when General Scalene could have been important, only to find the idiot escaping from prison in one of his memories. Wait, escaping? A goblin isn’t that smart! Something in his head clicked. The chaotic beast laughed, “Sure, it isn’t really Scalene’s doing, but he certainly plays a part in your dear commander’s death! If only you could have him executed when you capture him!” The voice left once more, the ripples of water freezing in place. Instead of the usual fire, Foaly was met with sleet and hail, pelting the garden like stones, crushing the shrubs and shattering against the pool. His mind locked onto the worst memory of his life, he darted into the only existing corridor, barely conscious of his movement. The beast roared for the first time in a while, snapping him back to the problems he had to face right then. I can worry about Julius when Opal decides to show her slimy head! Right now, I have to get to my box or we might not live long enough for him to die at all! It sounded cruel and morbid when he thought about it, but it was true. Julius would be fine for a year or two, even if they made it back, so right then Discord was high priority. Stay focused, Foaly! This is more important than some ambiguous future! He followed the corridor without hesitation; he couldn’t turn back, and there were no intersections. Whatever waited at the end had to be Discord’s next and hopefully last trial. As he walked, Foaly began to wonder if there even was an end to this game. Was he just stuck in some kind of limbo, walking aimlessly into more and more tricks until he finally snapped? No, even Discord has to have fun. What fun is there in certain victory? “That’s a very good point, horsey!” Discord laughed hysterically, the maze collapsing, all of the walls sinking into the ground and the decorations evaporating into nothingness. Foaly saw what progress he had made and felt almost enraged; he was barely a few feet from Celestia’s statue! His fists clenched in anger, he roared, “What kind of sick monster are you?! Even psychopaths give you some sort of dark hope for victory!” Everything about the beast was wrong, even his methods for breaking his prey. Nothing made sense; even the nonsense was itself nonsensical. Even in anarchical societies there’s some form of law and reason, but here it was nonexistent. Everything about Discord made Foaly even angrier. A rage he hadn’t realized he’d been holding onto released in an instant, his hind hooves smashing into Celestia’s statue with all the vehemence a pacifist could muster. The stone cracked under the pressure; a cloud of dust exploded into the air with a bright white light pouring through it at intervals. “Oh dear, that can’t be good…” Discord echoed silently, realizing what had just happened. He sounded more interested than anything, but worry was definitely melted in his tone. Foaly trembled in fear, thinking the worst possible outcome was signaled by the light. He stammered mentally, D-did I just…break Celestia? I-is she dead? His pacifistic nature returned instantly, the rage replaced with disappointment and guilt. When a beam of energy zoomed past his face, the guilt melted away. Letting out a deep sigh, his legs buckled under him. The large white figure of the Equestrian princess broke through the dust cloud and snapped, “How dare you kick royalty! Do they not have etiquette where you come from?” With a slight grin she tittered, “You should truly watch your anger, but thank you for freeing me from that nightmare.” Her eyes turned toward the black box on the far side of the chasm, her hedge maze now nonexistent. Even the beast that had been roaring for hours was nowhere to be seen. Foaly chuckled sheepishly, “I guess I don’t know my own strength…” "I am most curious as to how you managed to free me, Foaly." Of all the counteroffensives to Discord's magic she'd ever witnessed, brute force had never been one. The centaur scoffed, "I don't know, but I won't complain! He sounded scared for a second there!" “You realize it’s almost sundown, right? I imagine it will be impossible to make our way across this chasm at night.” Celestia placed a hoof on the centaur’s head, spreading her wings as wide as she could. The half-horse snapped to attention, “Sundown? It was barely noon when I went in there! Has it really been that long?” Even if the flow of time was thrown off by Celestia’s absence, it had felt like mere minutes inside Discord’s trials. “It seems Discord cares for time keeping just as much as I; he’s kept the sun in motion by channeling my magic.” Taking a moment to consider what she’d just said, she added, “He’s most definitely more powerful than last time he was freed.” Foaly stood up, his eyes locked on his workstation. With confidence in his tone he whinnied, “Let’s get to it, then!” Celestia smiled warily and lowered her hoof, realizing that no matter how powerful Discord had become, there were always weak points. Perhaps the centaur’s black box really was the key. When she wrapped him in her magic and carried him behind her as she kicked off of the ground, a loud shriek tore through the sky. Turning to see the reason, six alien figures and a pony were speeding directly toward her, seemingly incapable of stopping in time to prevent disaster. With not even a second to brace themselves, every last creature not under Discord’s influence collided in the air just above the massive chasm that tore Canterlot in half. Nine figures were all that stood between Discord and total domination. Nine figures fell into the darkness. Nine figures fell with all the grace of a sack of potatoes.