//------------------------------//
// Alex's Journal Part 2 
// Story: One Tree in the Whitetail Woods 
// by Sketchbeam 
//------------------------------//

3/27/2200
Entry 74
You know, for all of his faults, I do respect my roommate. He has never mentioned his illness as a way to gain sympathy with me. He had never demanded that I call him a mare. And in return I give him the indulgence he wants. And despite this unspoken agreement, he goes beyond it. He comforted me when I told him about my friends. At first I was a little startled, but then he yanked me by the arm and we went outside with two kites. It was the most fun I have had in a long while. Since that happened, I have spent more time with him despite my reservations. He did not have to do that for me, but he can tell when someone needs a friend. 
But the reason I respect him most of all is because he has never wavered in his beliefs. He knows what he stands for since he has his own truth that he follows. Not like me. He has always been firm in his belief that he is a mare. It seems to be more than an illness because the way he carries himself, the way he speaks, and the way he acts shows unshakable confidence. Even I, who disagree, can see that. I wish I was so sure in my own beliefs. The word illness means temporary to me. What he is—it is not temporary. It seems to be simply different. And to be honest, I do not know whether to be scared or intrigued. 

4/11/2200
Entry 78
I have been avoiding my roommate for the past week or so. I decided to take a camping trip into the Whitetail Woods so I could think about Flourish's differences. Would you believe that he is now definitely like my college friends? I mean, he is intelligent and can be quite warm if you get to know him. He can be quite the conversationalist if you choose the right topics. He has cheered me up on numerous occasions when I have been feeling down. Those are all great qualities to justify a good friendship. 
If I hypothetically accept that, I am afraid because of what that means for me. I am still convinced of the possibility of multiple truths, but as I interact with my roommate more and more, my own beliefs are wavering. Does it really matter what he calls himself? Does it really matter that he is a pony? The answers to those questions are no longer as firm as I would like. What does this mean for my parents or the Society? I do not know. But I know that I cannot stay in this forest forever. I guess I should go back soon and apologize for expressing my views on love and marriage.

5/21/2200
Entry 81
Could my parents be wrong? How could it be? I find myself asking that question more and more ever since I read those reports I checked out of the library. Around ninety-five percent of individuals who live in urban, suburban, and rural areas in Equestria would support a transgender, homosexual, or racially different mayor then their own. This includes Ponyville and the surrounding areas obviously. So when I said that there are a multitude of different groups with differing opinions that was true. 
When I was told the opinions of the EFES make up the silent majority of the population’s opinions, I was horribly misinformed. The majority does not locally rule because they are the majority, but that means a huge chunk of the population believes in what they believe because they think it makes sense for them. Why does it make sense to them? Why did it not make sense to me? Why did my parents lie?

6/6/2200
Entry 86
If I accept the beliefs of my friends and roommate, I know why I cannot make sense of them. I have always thought of myself as a good person. I have never done anything bad. I have never stolen, I have never physically hurt anyone, and I have never verbally hurt anyone. But you see, the last one is not true, if I accept what my friends and roommate believe in. I have been involved in the activities of EFES since I was five years old. I carried signs during our protests. 
Since then, I have grown into a productive and contributing member just like my parents, organizing events, even planning to open a branch in my local college. And that is the problem it seems. I did some real good in the EFES because I believed in what they believe. I advocated for the restriction of the rights of my fellow Equestrians because they violated the social hierarchy. So to accept the beliefs of college friends is to accept that I have not been doing good things for everyone. I do not know if I can accept that.

6/13/2200
Entry 88
I cannot be a bad person. All of my life, I have been trying to do good for those around me. For my parents. For the Society. There are multiple truths. This is not false. It cannot be. I just cannot believe that I was lied to. All of those decisions though, I made. I remember the pride others had in me because they shared the feelings I had when I accomplished something in the Society. I organized my first rally when I was thirteen years old and one thousand individuals were in attendance. 
I later staged my first protest at the Equestrian Grand Courthouse of Canterlot when the Changeling Marriage Rights proposal was passed. I was there when the Society put forth its counter proposal with two thousand individuals were in attendance on both sides of the argument. I could remember all of those faces that contorted in fury and pity. They were familiar faces to me, but the faces I could not understand were the ones that smiled at me and everyone else on my side.
They wanted to help like I did.

7/15/2200
Entry 90
They wanted to help like I thought I was doing. What was I doing?

8/23/2200
Entry 93
The individuals of this community must never know about my membership in the EFES. I have ended my membership and even tried to bribe the officers to strike my name from their records. But there is always the potential for discovery. Individuals have taken photos of the rallies we have done, and they have seen the protests first-hand. My likeness is out there forever immortalized, somewhere, and I cannot do a single thing about it. My roommate noticed my recent depression and immediately dropped what she was doing and tried to cheer me up. I gave the excuse that I realized something horrible about my parents that I did not think they ever could be capable of. I told her it was nothing illegal however so as not to worry her. I ended up crying in front of her.

9/9/2200
Entry 96
I do not know what to say. Vibrant Flourish noticed my depression getting worse. So she held me while I cried on her crest and told her about my parents. I made up the story that I only found out about their involvement in the EFES last month and that I was ashamed of them. The look on her face when I told her my parents belonged to the Society told me all I needed to know if she found out about my membership. I lied and told her that I had nothing to do with the organization. 
And now I have to pretend to be happy. If I do not, my roommate will notice and I know she will question my lies until the guilt becomes too much to bear and everything comes spilling out. But I am happy. I just have to think it. I have a wonderful, caring roommate that would do anything to brighten my day. I am not a member of the EFES. I finally understand why my friends from college hate me. I am pretty sure I could pass that English class with flying colors now. I do not know if I will be able to keep this up.