//------------------------------// // Something Stupid // Story: The Ballad of Rainbow Dash and Time Turner: Give A Little Love // by dramatic_spoon //------------------------------// “Are you serious?” Dash stared at Rarity with a look of disgust on her face, “I’m not wearing that, ever.” “But…It’s magnificent!” Rarity turned her attention to the dress, still on a mannequin; a rich, chocolate brown dress adorned with white frills and a small copy of Dash’s cutie mark on the left breast. Rarity’s aura lifted the entire mannequin, bringing it over towards Dash. “Look, see?” Rarity lifted one of the sleeve, placing the chocolate hue against Dash’s own fur and accidently over the mare’s eyes, “The colors complement each other perfectly!” “I think Dash’s point is that it’s impractical and it’s highly unlikely that she would wear it.” Ditzy stated. The mail mare took a sip of coffee, “Besides, the point is to get him to like her for who she is, not who you decide to dress her up as.” “…I suppose…” Rarity set down the mannequin and sighed, “And I had worked on it all night too.” “Look, if everything works out, you can design the wedding dress, alright?” Ditzy promised. “Don’t I get a say in this?” Dash grumbled. “Of course you do, now then…” Rarity smiled, “let’s discuss your first date.” “Oh here we go.” Dash rolled her eyes. “Now, I believe that it should be something elegant…” “I got banned from Le Cheval Amical.” Dash cut off Rarity’s monologue, “Turns out if you knock a bunch of folk’s food onto them, they get angry.” Dash punctuated her statement with a shrug, “Who knew?” “…somewhere still passable and suitably romantic.” Rarity replied, while glaring at Dash. “…I’m going to repeat myself here,” Ditzy sighed, “Someplace reasonable for the two to go to. Turner doesn’t like fancy places and neither does Dash.” The three grew silent as they pondered. “…There’s the café.” Dash suggested “It’s hardly the best place for a first date.” Rarity scoffed. “Mac takes Chaser there all the time,” Dash countered. “But is that where they went for the first time?” the fashionista scoffed “Well…yeah.” Dash responded, oblivious to Rarity’s tone. “…..I am not letting you have your first, romantic date in a dingy little café,” Rarity huffed, “As much as I enjoy Big Macintosh’s company, I have different standards than he does.” “That’s not particularly fair,” Ditzy countered, “I’m sure he’d love to take Cloudchaser to a nicer restaurant, but because Applejack, and you two, keep running off on all sorts of adventures all over Equestria, he has to stay behind and work.” A devilish grin crept onto Ditzy’s face as both eyes focused on Rarity, “After all, isn’t it kind of selfish of you all?” “That’s…That’s different,” Rarity paused, “The whole Crystal Empire thing was because Twilight asked us to go.” “I was talking about the Bake-off.” Ditzy shrugged, “Did they really need all six of you?” “Not really,” Dash shrugged, “But you know, Pinkie invited me, Applejack contributed to it, Twilight wanted to go see the Princess… and one thing lead to another and the next thing I know we’re on a train.” “…So why did Rarity go?” “Moving. On.” Rarity grunted, “Fine, if we cannot find a suitable alternate location, you can go ahead and have it…there.” “I like Ponyville café.” Dash muttered to herself. “Rarity, this feels more and more like you trying to set up a scenario that plays to your fantasies,” Ditzy paused, “And I don’t think its working.” “…Oh, please. She came to me after all.” “Only because there isn’t anypony else to turn to,” Dash grunted under her breath. Rarity’s ears perked up. “What was that?” a forced, sinister smile crept onto Rarity’s face. “Nothing.” Dash quickly snapped. “…Moving on…” Ditzy coughed, “How do you plan on telling him?” “…I was kinda gonna, you know, just go up to him and be like ‘Hey Turner, you wanna get lunch?’” Dash shrugged, “You know, like normal ponies do.” Dash paused, “That’s what normal ponies do, right?” “More-or-less.” Ditzy shrugged. “No.” Rarity countered, “This requires something-” “That isn’t going to scare him off.” Ditzy turned back towards Rarity, “Don’t you think he’ll realize something is off if she starts acting in a dramatic, hammy fashion?” “In other words, if I start acting like her?” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself. “What was that?” “Nothing.” Dash rolled her eyes and looked up, “Look, I don’t really want to do this so that he gets scared off, you know what I mean? I mean, this is about me, right?” “…Well, yes it is,” Rarity paused, “But I think I can help it be better.” “This is what I was worried about,” Ditzy sighed and turned her attention to Rarity, “Look, this isn’t about what you want, you know that right?” “I am merely doing what I think is best.” “Right. What you want,” Ditzy countered. The two continued to argue, as Rainbow Dash watched. After a few moments she rolled her eyes and got out of her chair. She quietly crept to the door, eventually exiting without the other two realizing what was happening. Once outside, Dash sighed. “Yesh, if I had known that was going to happen, I wouldn’t have bothered.” Dash trotted away from the shop, mumbling to herself. “So I think I can do this, I mean, I am pretty awesome and all, but…” Dash shook her head, “No, no buts, I can do th-” “You alright, Rainbow Dash?” Dash jumped at the question and spun around. Big Macintosh took a step back while Cloudchaser’s eyebrow rose. “Oh. Hey big guy, CC. I’m…not really.” She sighed, “Look, I got into a bit of a mess.” “What did you break now?” Cloudchaser rolled her eyes. “No, no, I didn’t break anything it’s just…” Dash sighed, “Look, there’s a guy I like…” “Told you.” Cloudchaser interrupted, nudging her coltfriend in the ribs, “Pay up.” “Not now,” Mac scolded his marefriend before turning his attention back to Rainbow Dash, “Go on.” “…And I’m not sure how to tell him.” Dash continued on, “So I asked Rarity and Ditzy for advice and… It’s not really working. Rarity keeps coming up with these ridiculous Conscious River scenarios and-” “...How do you know about her?” Cloudchaser interrupted again. “I, uh…I read them too,” Dash paused, “we can talk about that latter. Like I was saying, Rarity’s doing this ridiculous thing and Ditzy’s more ‘Hey, we should be more well grounded and…’ You know?” “…Just tell him.” Big Mac cut off Cloudchaser’s response. Cloudchaser gave him a confused look. “What, just like that?” Dash asked. “Eeyup. He say yes, you’re good. He say no…well, that where things get a bit harder,” Big Macintosh shrugged, “But you gotta do it the way you would.” “…Thanks big guy.” Dash continued on, leaving the couple behind. “Since when are you Mr. Romantic advice?” Cloudchaser asked. “Experience.” He shrugged, “You’re not the first mare I’ve been with.” “What, Cheerilee?” “Nope.” “Who then?” “I ain’t sayin’. Man’s gotta have some secrets.” Mac chuckled. --- Time Turner stared at the papers in front of him. He groaned and slammed his head into the desk. “The numbers are off.” He grunted, “It’s like we’re actually missing money, but I can’t figure out where it went.” He sighed and pulled his head back up. “Hey Turner!” The startled stallion spun around: Dash crawled through the window, landing on the ground in a crumpled heap. She quickly leapt back onto her hooves before smiling at him. “You wanna get lunch?”