//------------------------------//
// Bakery, Sweet Bakery 
// Story: Visiting Chaos 
// by Ink Well Inks Well 
//------------------------------//

	The Cakes didn’t answer, nod, or make any sign that they’d heard Pinkie. Mr. Cake continued to sway, before finally fainting. Discord rolled his eyes and poofed up a giant marshmallow for him to fall on, figuring it probably wouldn’t make a good impression to allow him to get a concussion.
Luckily, the pony came to rather quickly, and looked at the marshmallow in horror. Discord couldn’t help but roll his eyes again- he could tell he would be doing that quite a bit in the near future- and poofed the marshmallow away. 
Pinkie Pie had scrambled over to the stallion, and was currently shaking him violently, panic in her eyes. “Mr. Cake! Are you okay?!” 
Cup Cake put a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder. “I’m sure he’s fine, dear, he does that sometimes.” Pinkie noticed her hoof was still shaking, though, and her eyes kept flitting back at Discord.
Pinkie followed her gaze and remembered why Mr. Cake had fainted in the first place. “Oh, right!” she laughed. “I got a new order from the Princess!” she was bouncing excitedly, took a deep breath and began. “So after we blasted Discord back to stone I kept thinking, and I felt really really bad because I figured it had to be super duper lonely being in stone! So I started to visit him and I gave him cupcakes and a toy and he couldn’t really talk but he wrote me notes! And I visited him with Screwball every week when I told you I was going to Canterlot- ‘cause I was! And the Princess decided that I should help Dissy and reform him so he can be free! And since I’m gonna be reforming him, he’s gonna be living here!”
Discord was actually impressed. She’d kept it pretty short- for Pinkie, at least.
The Cakes blinked, jaws open. “Really?” asked Cup, disbelieving.
“Yup!” 
Carrot quirked his eyebrow, finally finding his voice. He had so many questions, so many concerns, but all he could get out was. “... Why did you bring Screwball?”
“Because she wanted to see her daddy, of course, silly!”
Discord wasn’t surprised when the stallion started to sway again, and he found himself facepalming at the lanky pony’s reaction. He was about to poof something soft for him to land on yet again- a giant dandelion puff maybe- but he steadied himself. He was still speechless. The Cakes continued to stare at him, and he felt increasingly annoyed, even as Pinkie continued to reassure and explain even further.   
Cup was the first to speak. “Pinkie, you’re sure about this?” She looked at Discord, who had started to inspect the candy paneling on the wall. It could really use some improvement... making it edible wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Nopony would complain about that... But a look from Pinkie stopped him. He wasn’t sure why he was listening to her- he could do whatever he wanted, he was a god!
...A god on parole. And if he stepped out of line, he’d be trapped again, likely forever. So maybe it was in his best interest to listen- for now at least. He sighed, but lowered his talon. The Cakes looked at each other, surprised. They looked a little more reassured, but still seemed terrified out of their wits.
Discord finally spoke. “Do you want proof that Pinkie isn’t delusional?” he groaned. Pinkie frowned, but didn’t argue when they asked for the proof.
“Here,” he poofed up the necessary papers, and handed them to the Cakes.
“...This is a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card from-”
“Maneopoly!” Pinkie frowned. “Discord, how could you?”
Discord looked at the card, confused. “What?”
“You started a running gag!”
The draconequus looked at the card in disgust and horror. “No...”
“Yes, you did!”
“But... that’s cliche!”
She nodded. “Yeah, you used a trope!”
He blanched, and the Cakes looked at him, then Pinkie, so confused as to what was going on. 
Discord shook his head in disgust. “What a pathetic attempt at fourth-wall humor.”
“And all for a cheap laugh...”
They shook their heads solemnly, until Mrs. Cake cleared her throat. They looked up, and Discord approached. They backed away instinctively, and Discord realized that he would have to shmooze to get them to tolerate his presence. So he cleared his throat and began.
"I know that this is a big decision, and I don't wish to intrude. I know you have a family, too, and I swear that I will never hurt your foals- quite the opposite, in fact, I've found that I'm quite good with children. They find me funny, although I couldn't possibly imagine why." He gestured to himself, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work. "I'll earn my keep with chores." Mrs. Cake paled. "I'll help in the bakery." They grew more nervous, for some strange reason. "I'll pay rent..." Mr. Cake rolled his eyes. Discord saw that he was getting nowhere fast, so he facepalmed and tried a different approach.
"Look, I have to stay with Pinkie. Celestia's orders."
The couple looked at each other, uncomfortable.
Pinkie gave them puppy-dog eyes. “Please, guys? I promise I’ll make sure he stays out of too much trouble, and I'll watch him and feed him and everything!” Discord couldn’t help but be a little peeved- she was making him sound like a pet, not a powerful being who could easily turn the whole bakery upside-down and inside out if he chose to. “... Plus, Screwy should get to stay with her daddy.”
They softened a bit at that. As much trouble as the filly caused around the bakery, they had grown rather fond of her in the months she had lived with them, and both had a place in their hearts for her.
They looked at each other, sighed and nodded. “We can’t exactly act against a royal order, can we?” Mrs. Cake smiled softly. They still looked very uncomfortable, but Discord wasn’t even going to pretend to care. 
Pinkie lit up like a Hearth’s Warming Eve tree, hopping over and engulfing her surrogate family in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She beamed at Discord, and grabbed his tail. “Come on, you!”
He shook his head, horrified as she tried to drag him into the hug. She frowned, but shrugged. “Eh, we’ll get there eventually!”
He seriously doubted it, and said so, eliciting a determined smile from Pinkie. 
“Then you don’t know me, buster!”
The couple exchanged yet another glance, almost feeling bad for the draconequus. Pinkie was persistent, and, one way or another, she’d get that hug.
There was nothing in heaven and Hell that could stop that pony when she wanted something.
“Pinkie?” Carrot interrupted. “Where exactly is Discord going to be staying? We don’t have a guest room anymore, remember?”
“‘Course I do! I helped convert it into a nursery with you, silly!” she beamed. “He’ll be staying in my room, with Screwy!”
Discord’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected that in the slightest, and honestly wasn’t sure about the whole idea. Sharing a room with his daughter was something he’d do gladly, but with Pinkie? “I’m not sure that would be... appropriate...”
Mr. Cake was nodding firmly. “I agree with Discord-” he stopped himself when he realized just what he’d said, and Discord had to contain laughter at the look on his face.
Pinkie Pie shrugged. “We don’t have any other room, and even though I bet he could make a broom closet some super fantastic, wonderific bedroom, it’s still not polite to put him in one!” Before anypony could respond, she grabbed his tail and started pulling him towards her room. He followed, still not thrilled with the living situation- couldn’t a draconequus have some privacy?- but aware that he couldn’t do much without changing the interior of the building, something he doubted his hosts would appreciate.
“Here we are!” she opened the door, grinning. “We have the whole cupcake to ourselves!” 
Well, it was certainly fitting she lived in a cupcake, even if the cake was made of wood and metal and screws, and the frosting of plaster and paint.
She bounced around, and Discord had to find himself smiling. The room wasn’t bad at all, made even better by little touches that he was sure his daughter had put in. For example, both mattresses were made of something that looked like jello, tasted like jello, moved like jello, and even felt like jello, but weren’t sticky like jello.
He supposed that now that it was warmer, her idea of hot chocolate waterbeds were a bit uncomfortable.
The room was filled with little chaotic oddities like that: the blankets seemed to be made of cheese, and the pillows of ravioli,  the wallpaper moved, the bathtub water drained up instead of swirling down and bubbled in different colors, with dozens of different taps, the closet and mirror occasionally participated in small talk and the windows showed scenes that didn’t always correspond to what was happening outside, among other things. Still, everything was relatively stable, and was able to do what it needed to.
“What d’you think?” she asked cheerfully.
He was impressed, be honest, but he simply said, “It’s not bad. It could use a few finishing touches, a bit more pizazz-”
“Well, Screwy and I are always up for more ideas! It’s only been like this for a few days, we change it a lot!” 
“Don’t the Cakes mind?”
“Nope! They don’t really come in here, and what I do with my living space is my business, they say! As long as I don’t damage it!” she smiled again. “You can make yourself at home, do what you want. You need anything to feel more like home?”
He blinked. Now that he thought about it... he snapped, and a few random suitcases appeared. He rifled through the luggage, pulling out random items, not all of which belonged to him. Whatever, Celestia and Luna wouldn’t miss this stuff anyway. And if they did, well, he didn’t actually care all that much. He brightened a bit when he pulled out Bananas, and Pinkie couldn’t help but grin at the sight of the plush. Then he looked around in confusion. “I could have sworn I had more luggage...”
He shrugged, then snapped his fingers, hoping to make the room a bit larger- it wouldn’t show on the outside, but this way he wouldn’t have to shrink down too much to live in it comfortably.
It expanded by a few square feet, at the most, and he felt a headache coming on.
He frowned, and snapped again.
Nothing happened.
Snap. Snap. Snap snap snap. Snapsnapsnapsnapsnap-
Finally, something happened, but it wasn’t what he wanted. A scroll appeared, with the royal seal- the right royal seal, according to Dinky- and unfurled itself. 
He read it and grit his teeth, before Pinkie hopped up to read it herself. 
“Celestia’s only giving you one tenth of your normal power? That’s not a lot...” she frowned, but perked up almost immediately. “But you did some really cool stuff with only that much power anyway, so it’s not so bad, right?”
He frowned. All he had done was simple parlor tricks, things most unicorns could do- was that all he was reduced to? What happened to being able to bend reality and the minds of ponies to his will?
“Aw, cheer up, Dissy!” she smiled, nudging him. “Once Celestia realizes that you’re all good, and you prove it to her, she’ll give you your powers back for sure!”
Somehow, this didn’t make him feel all that much better.
Before he could mope, though, he felt Pinkie wrap her forelegs around his middle. He jumped, looking down at her in confusion. “What are you doing?”
“You seemed sad, and hugs always cheer me up!” she beamed. He looked at her in disbelief, gently prying her off. 
“Well... thank you, but I’d rather not.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” she was still so cheerful, he barely understood it. That wasn’t really such a bad thing, though.
Screwball chose this moment to burst into the room, looking a little frazzled, and completely covered in ectoplasm, but smiling all the same when she saw Discord. “You’re still here, Daddy!”
He raised a brow. “I told you I wouldn’t leave.”
“I know, I’m just glad!” she laughed, flopping down on her jello bed, giggling as she bounced slightly. “Daddy, where’s your bed? I’da thought you’d’ve already made a giant bouncy house or something! You want some ideas?”
He laughed. “No. I have plenty of ideas. I just can’t put any of them to use,” he handed her the letter, and she frowned.
“Celestia’s just a big dumb meanie!” she growled, crumpling up the note.
Discord nodded in agreement, but Pinkie Pie shook her head. “Nah, the Princess is really smart and nice! She just made a mean choice! That doesn’t mean she’s a meanie!”
Discord rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything, figuring it wasn’t worth the annoyance of a fight. Besides, he noticed in surprise, she hadn’t said she agreed with Celestia, and hadn’t gotten angry at Screwball. He doubted anypony else would have reacted the same way.
The filly brightened a little. “Here, daddy, let me make you a bed!” She concentrated with all her might, before poofing up an amazing bounce house, complete with slides and a ball pit. She beamed with pride, until she realized it was more Gummy sized then Discord sized. “I can fix it!” her eyes glowed and sweat lined her brow, before Discord stopped her.
“Don’t tire yourself out, alright?” 
“I never shoulda made a real ghost for use to catch, it took so much energy,” she said, drooping a bit.
Ah, that explained it. He hadn’t understood why Screwball couldn’t make a proper house, but expelling so much energy at much must have drained the poor thing- he doubted she was very well trained in her powers, after all, without another being of chaos around to teach her. 
Well, he’d soon fix that. 
“Aww, it’s okay, Screwy!” Pinkie laughed, putting an arm around the foal, smiling. “Lookit how much Gummy likes his new bed!”
The draconequus and the filly looked over at the toy-sized house, only to see a baby alligator in the ball pit, tail wagging slowly and unblinking eyes looking in separate directions.
“He does like it, huh?”
“Yeah, I haven’t seen him this happy since his birthday party!” she grinned, and the filly laughed and nodded in agreement.
If this was what the thing looked like when excited, Discord could only imagine what he looked like when he wasn’t.
When the two mares had stopped giggling, Screwball asked, “So where’s Daddy gonna sleep?”
“Hmmmm...” Pinkie frowned. “Oh! I got it!” she zoomed over to her bed, and moved it right next to Screwball’s, so the jello mattresses were flush with one another. “See! Now it’s big enough!”
He raised a brow. “But where will you sleep?”
“On here, silly! All’ve us will sleep there, like a slumber party!”
No. No, no, no. Sleeping in the same room as Pinkie was strange enough, but in the same bed? That wasn’t happening.
“I don’t think that would be proper, Pinkie.”
“Then where are you gonna sleep?” she asked.
He sighed. “The floor, I suppose. It can’t be as bad as stone.” He started to curl up on the ground.
Pinkie looked horrified. “But- but... You can’t sleep on the floor! It’s not even a trampoline anymore, it’s just plain wood!”
He shrugged. “Well, if I had my magic, that wouldn’t be an issue, but it is what it is.” He wasn’t sure why he was even a little bit alright with this, but he figured it had something to do with his lack of energy.  
Pinkie continued to frown, but wasn’t sure what she could do to change his mind. “Well, if you’re sure...” she sighed and looked at Screwball. “Did you finish all your homework?
“Well...” Screwball was now perched on top of her father’s head. “Kinda?”
“Let’s see...”
Screwball sighed and took a packet out of her saddlebag. “I didn’t know these ones.”
Discord snatched the packet out of her hooves. “Celestia, Luna, diamond dogs, 3 square root two, theta to the power of pi, salmonella, green fur, ursa minor, Princess Platinum, Cloudsdale, Brave Sir Robin, the Holy Grail.”
He handed the packet back and watched as his daughter scribbled all the answers down. Pinkie Pie frowned. “Discord, you can’t just tell her the answers!”
He frowned. “And why not? Helping your child is what a good parent does!” he grabbed his filly and looked at Pinkie indignantly.
“Yeah!” Screwy nodded.
“Well, yeah, but you’re not helping her! Do you understand why those answers are right?”
“Yes!” Screwy chirped, before putting a hoof to her chin. “Well, actually, no.”
“So what’re you going to do when it’s on a test? Twilight taught me that if you don’t know the material really well, you won’t do well on tests, and showed me how to study better! I didn’t really need to know that, but it was good to learn, because you do!” she took the packet. “Here, let’s go over the stuff you don’t know, okay?”
Discord sighed, resting his head on his lion paw and rolling his eyes. “But Pinkie, that’s so boring.”
“Well then I’ll make it fun! We can make it a game!” she grinned, scanning the packet. Discord listened as Pinkie and Screwball went over the packet, groaning. He felt his eyes start to droop as they studied, although every so often he’d smile at a quip or a joke Pinkie made to help Screwy remember. 
But he couldn’t help sleep from washing over him, as it had been a pretty long day, and he held Bananas in the crook of his arm and drifted off.
When he woke up, he found it to be dark out. It seemed like dinner had already happened, judging from the tomato sauce on Pinkie’s face, and he was slightly alarmed to find she had not only given him a pillow and a blanket, which wasn’t so bad in itself, but both she and Screwball were snuggled up in his coiled frame. He went to move Pinkie, at least, but found that any movement caused her to stir and frown. Not wanting to wake her up, he resigned himself to his fate, putting his head back down. 
It wasn’t so bad, in all honesty. It was warm and cozy, and she smelled of cotton candy, which he found he liked. Screwball mumbled in her sleep, and he smiled softly, tightening his coiled body slightly. Both mares smiled, and he found himself smiling a bit as well, putting his head back down on his paw. “Goodnight, my dears...”
He drifted back into sleep, his ears twitching like a dog’s, barely registering Pinkie’s voice as she smiled softly, opened one eye, and whispered, “Good night, Dissy.” She snuggled back into him, holding him happily.
The jello bed lay forgotten.