“STOP THIS AT ONCE. THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING”
To say I was relieved to have an interruption to something that might be a secret marriage ceremony would be an understatement. Applejack also seemed relieved. Clearly this Princess Twilight had a sense of humor trying to disrupt our staring contest. Her intent to cause myself and Applejack as much embarrassment as possible had succeeded. We were both red as scarlet, no pun intended, well maybe not. Still Applejack and I were stubborn enough that even Twilight’s intervention had not dissuaded us from our glaring contest. However the new disturbance caused by Miss Rarity (I would learn latter) refused us our interlude. She arrived and used her magic to grasp our hats and break our line of vision. My straw hat dropped over my eyes. As I restored my hat to my head, Miss Rarity stood between Applejack and me, berating her for not consulting Miss Rarity on decorations and a wedding dress. The white unicorn actually thought this had been an actual wedding. I started laughing, other ponies were also laughing so I was not alone in this jovial moment. Applejack was trying to correct Miss Rarity’s false impression, but couldn’t, as Miss Rarity was on an endless rant about how she had caught the bouquet at some royal wedding and that this should be her wedding.
I used this moment to look over the princess. She was a fine figure of a mare. The purple, lavender, or violet coat she had was a bit much, still she did present herself as regal, though at the moment she seemed to be enjoying the misunderstanding as much as any pony.
That was the moment when she arrived. My vision of aquatic bliss had come to my party along with some others. Pinky shot us all a look that told us to keep up the illusion, as she went to ‘explain’ the situation to Fluttershy and friends. The expression on Fluttershy’s face said ‘oh my’.
Fluttershy approached me, then tried to slink back. But something compelled her forward to me.
“I’m so sorry for you” she whispered. “I hope you and Applejack can work this out”
“I hope so too” I said “but in truth, I think I in love with some other pony, so maybe this is for the best”
“Oh no” she said “Applejack needs a stallion like you. She is my best friend and I want her to be happy.”
“You hear that Scarlet” said the giggling Rainbow Dash “Fluttershy says Applejack needs you”
“What about my needs?” I said to Fluttershy, ignoring Rainbow Dash’s comment “What about the pony I think I love? Maybe she needs me too”
“Oh no” said Fluttershy “love is such a precious thing, if some pony loves you, you must always return that love no matter how difficult. Don’t chase after a phantom love when you have a love.”
“I disagree” said Pinky “you wouldn’t have fallen for the second, if the first was all you needed. Pick the second and leave the first.”
“I think Scarlet is trying to do that” said the giggling Rainbow Dash. “You could make her so happy, a big strong handsome stallion like you”
“Oh, Rainbow Dash” said Twilight “I’m so sorry. I didn’t understand until now, you’re the second. You and Applejack are so alike. I understand why she would fall for him and he would fall for you.” Twilight gave me a wink.
“Wait what?” said Rainbow Dash
“No, don’t say another word Rainbow Dash” I interrupted least she expose my secret crush. “We share a secret indulgence. We need not ever tell any but ourselves. Applejack need never know.”
“Hey wait a second” said Rainbow Dash
“What do I need never know?” asked Applejack
“My middle name” I said
“Oh Applejack” said Fluttershy “I’m so sorry, you didn’t even know his middle name?”
“No I don’t know his middle name” said Applejack. “What I do know is he is keeping secrets, important secrets”
“What is your middle name?” asked Pinky
“He is allowed to keep secrets” said Twilight “we all do”
“Awesome” I said
“I’m awesome” said Rainbow Dash
“No” I said “Awesome is my middle name, Scarlet Awesome Tomato”
“Oh darling” said Miss Rarity “he’d be perfect for you Dash”
“Hey wait a second” said Rainbow Dash
“Rarity is right” said Applejack “can you imagine Scarlet Rainbow Awesome Dash of Tomato?”
“Oh Applejack” said Fluttershy “You are so brave to give him away”
“What are you talking about Fluttershy?” asked Applejack
That was the moment I lost it. I broke into hysterical laughter. I couldn’t stop. It was indeed past sunset. Time to close up the camp, and wish every pony a safe trip home, as I kept laughing. Let them work out the misunderstandings latter, but not here, not now. But that didn’t happen.