//------------------------------//
// Rotten Apples 
// Story: Christian and Geo in Equestria 
// by ChrisTheCat 
//------------------------------//

Not long later, at Ground Zero in the Everfree Forest...

The Everfree forest was quiet, more so than usual. It would be unnerving to anypony who knew enough about the forest, like Zecora, but to Christian and Geo, they were blissfully unaware of the silence.

If one could call their bickering silence.

"Well how do you think she does it, Einstein?"

"I am...unsure. Levitation is a trait deemed impossible."

"Yeah, and yet, not ten minutes after we get here, boom! Levitated. Then a light knocks us out!"

"Light causing unconsciousness is not difficult to explain, but defying gravity itself..."

"Hurry up over there!" cried Applejack, who was watching over the two. "We got a big day t'morrow, smarty-pants, an' Ah don't wanna get home late 'cause o' you!" She was none to pleased about the situation in which she found herself in. As per her agreement with the princess and the two humans, Applejack had to play host to Christian for a full five days before he had to move on to Sugarcube Corner. "Five days is too long..." she thought grumpily.

"Yes, yes, a little patience is all I ask, Applejack." Christian retorted. "If you were not so hasty, maybe I would be more encouraged to do this faster."

"Just hurry, 'fore a kick ya 'gain." Applejack growled.

Christian grumbled something she could not hear, and he got back to work.

What Christian and Geo were going out in the Everfree Forest, and more specifically, Ground Zero where they first arrived, was to fulfill Christian's cola quota. The two were currently filling comically over-sized backpacks, supplied by Pinkie, with their favourite beverage from the fridge. It had been just yesterday that they had arrived, and even with no power to the fridge, the brown soft-drinks remained cold and bubbly. 

Christian was filling his bag with Pepsi, many cans and bottles placed neatly so that he could fit as much of it as he could into the strange bag. He had briefly voiced his concerns over how exactly Pinkie Pie had these monstrosities, but Twilight had told him to, quote, 'Just forget about it. You learn to stop questioning Pinkie after a while,' unquote.

Naturally, that just raised further questions. Christian despised being left in the dark about something. He would just have to wait five days before he had to share a living space with the annoying pink menace.

Geo, on the other hand, was going to be spending her first five days with Rarity. Rarity and Geo had no problem with this. It was Christian Rarity was not looking forward to. Luckily, she had Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle on the roster before her, and was glad for the fifteen day gap.

Said female human was currently trying to cram all of her Coca-Cola into her bag. Even though she had a few bottles lees that Christian did of his Pepsi, she wasn't a very good organiser, as her room back at the apartment attested to. She had run out of room rather quickly, and had emptied her backpack twice already, trying to get the things to fit.

Geo had tried to get a laugh out of anyone in the general vicinity by grabbing many Coke cans in her arms and saying "Why can't I hold all these cans?", but Applejack didn't get it, and Christian didn't care. 

"Christian, can you help? I've tried three times to do this, and I screw up every try." Geo complained. Her voice would have given the Diamond Dogs some bad memories.

Christian however, had his own problems. His hands were shaking slightly.

Geo noticed this, and began to walk over. "Uh, Christian?"

"I have not played for so long. I cannot relax." Christian said, his voice angry.

Geo knew instantly what he meant. Christian was an expert at playing the piano, with finger dexterity like no one else Geo had ever seen. The downfall, though, was that piano playing was his only means of relaxation. He loved the music, but in a sense, was addicted to the movement that his hands made. The music he created was nothing more than a pleasurable side effect.

"Alright, Christian," Geo said in an oddly mothering voice, "we'll find someone...er, somepony with a piano. Right now though, we have to get you all the way over to Sweet Apple Acres. Alright?"

Christian grumbled. "Fine..."

Christian stood, and went over to help Geo back her giant backpack. He did it rather quickly, much to Geo's shock and slight envy. They placed them on their backs, and were on their way, with Christian questioning as to how such large backpacks, filled almost to the brim with soft-drinks, were not heavy in the least. The girls ignored him.

They were on the trail back to Ponyville, with about ten minutes of the trip left, when the group heard an unsettling noise.

"Uh, what was that?" Geo asked, her breath quickening. 

Christian shook his head at her fear. "Do not worry. By the sound of it, it was just a wolf."

Applejack turned to them. "Timberwolves!"

Christian looked at her with an unamused glare. "What?"

"Timberwolves! They're these creepy varmints that live in th' Everfree Forest. They ain't kind critters." Applejack explained.

Christian smirked. "No need to fear. Why would a wolf of any kind attack us? Unless the creature was starving, there would be no need to-" He was cut off by some loud rustling in a bush nearby.

The rustling got louder, and in no time at all, a wolf seemingly made out of wood jumped out from behind the foliage, causing a squeal from Applejack. Both humans looked at her. It sounded more like a noise Fluttershy would make.

"Don't stare at me! We got a Timberwolf on our hoofs!" She cried.

Christian didn't look like he was taking this seriously. 

"A wolf. Made out of wood." he said, not really to anyone in particular. "So, are these Timberwolves plants or mammals in nature?"

"Who cares? Run!" Applejack cried, making a move towards Ponyville. Geo made the same move before Christian glared at them. That stopped them right were they were.

Christian then made his way over to the animal in question, which was growling at him. He walked right up to it, and knelt before it. He could smell the creatures breath.

Timberwolf. Has yellow eyes, coat seemingly made of bark. Teeth appear wooden as well, though sharpened. Drool is a foamy green. Creature appears hostile, yet has not made a move.

Christian reached out, and began to pat the Timberwolf on the head. The wolf stopped growling immediately, and tilted its head in confusion.

Coat is indeed wooden in nature. Timberwolf seemingly unafraid, nor hostile. Seems more like a regular dog than a wolf.

He reached around, and began to scratch behind the timberwolfs ears. The noises made were exactly what you would expect, and felt roughly the same: scrapping ones nails along tree bark. The timberwolf had much the same reaction as Christian had expected. The wooden hound stuck out its long green tongue and began to pant heavily.

"Christian!" Geo called, though it sounded more like a stage whisper.

He turned his head away from the strange wolf-plant hybrid in front of him. "Yes, Geo?"

"You aren't going to kill it, are you?" Geo asked, somewhat worried by what the response would be.

"Christian opened his eyes wide. "What? No, I would never kill an animal unless absolutely necessary." He turned back towards the wolf. "Besides, I would not eat tree bark under penalty of Chinese water torture."

By now, the Timberwolf had lost interest in the odd creatures and the orange pony in front of it, and turned to bound back into the foliage. 

Christian got back off of his knee, and walked back to the middle of the trail. Geo and Applejack were speechless.

Christian didn't look to happy. "Well? Are we to move to our new accommodations, or stand out here, gawking like buffoons?" he began to walk, moving ahead of Applejack and taking the lead. The other two soon began to follow. 

"Does he always do stuff like that with animals?" Applejack inquired in a hushed voice. 

"Yeah, pretty much. He tends to value animals more than humans" Geo shrugged. "He's only cruel to them when he intends to kill them for food." Geo nodded. "That's really the only reason he was cruel to Fluttershy in the first place."

Applejack frowned, being reminded of the incident, but then nodded, still slightly unsure. "Well, what 'bout us? 'Parently, ponies're animals in yer world. Why ain't he nice t' us?"

Geo looked a little sour. "One, you guys did kinda bring us here against our will, no matter what good came from it." She sighed. "Two, I think that Christian likes animals so much because they don't have our characteristics. You know, they can't criticise, or judge. Or maybe it's because his sister liked animals, and it's some kind of tribute. You guys, on the other hand, are sentient, like us. You're bound to have characteristics like us."

Applejack nodded again. "Never really though o' it like that."

Geo nodded in return. "Actually, neither have I. I just came up with that theory on the spot."

Applejack chuckled. "Theory? Ya'll ought t' see Twilight 'bout theories. Ah'm jus' a simple farm pony." 

"I heard all of that," Christian said from the front.

The two girls shut up.

"Applejack? You guys wouldn't happen to have a piano back at your farm, would you?" Geo asked in a hushed voice. 

"Actually, we do. Granny Smith always made us learn as fillies, linda like a family tradition, but Ah didn't really like it. Too many keys, if'n ya ask me." Applejack replied. "'Sides, it's more 'f a unicorn thing, what with all th' keys, an' not bein' able t' press 'em all at once. Ya'll need magic t' play properly."

Geo lit up. "That'll be a nice surprise for Christian."

"Really? What for?"

"Well, we have a piano back where we live. Christian plays it very very well. He loves it, really. It's one of his favourite things to do, play the piano. He uses it as his 'down-time'." Geo smiled. "Not only does it get him out of my hair for a while, but the music he plays is really good."

"Heh. Alrighty then. So, Christian plays th' piano t' have fun." Applejack tilted her head. "What do you do fer fun?"

"Honestly?" Geo looked at her. "Do you really want me to tell you?"

"Well, ya seem like a nice sort. Ah still don't like him too much." Applejack nodded in Christian's direction, the human in question not hearing them, as he was a little further ahead. "So c'mon then, Geo? What does a girl like you do fer fun?"

"Sex."

"Uh...begin' yer pardon?"

"You heard me."

Applejack looked straight ahead while chuckling lightly. "Ah like yer honesty." She then made a face. "Not with-"

Geo made a face herself, like she'd bitten a lemon. "Oh God no, not with him. Ew. Not in a bazillion years." She shuddered, trying to rid herself of the mental images. "No, I'll bring back some random guy or girl for some fun."

Applejack frowned slightly. "So yer one o' those types."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not addicted to it or anything-"

"Not what Ah meant. Yer barn door swings both ways."

Geo nodded. "Yeah, that's one way to put it." She looked at the orange filly. "Why? You got something against...uh, what did Fluttershy call it? Filly-foolers?"

"Naw, it ain't that. Ah just don't see how ya can like both. Ah kinda see it as bein' a tad indecisive." Applejack said, speaking her mind as always.

"Oh well, not much you can do about it. What about you?"

"Stallions."

"Ah."

There was a little more silence before Ponyville could actually be seen through the trees. There was one question nagging at the back of Applejack's mind, though she didn't think she should ask. She did anyway.

"So, Geo, er, I know you like both, but what about Christian?" Applejack inquired.

Geo raised and eyebrow. "Odd question, but I'll bite. Christian is attracted to personality. The physical aspect of a relationship doesn't matter." Geo nodded. "I like people's bodies, and that's why I can't settle down. Christian likes people's minds. The body doesn't matter."

Applejack raised an eyebrow herself. "So, he could fall fer a pony?"

Geo didn't respond, as she was deep in thought. Finally, she said "You know what? Yeah, probably. Though he'd have to find one with an equal mindset. Body doesn't matter, that kinda thing."

Applejack just nodded. Geo kept going, though.

"It's actually kind of helpful when it comes to the whole 'Bodies and sex don't matter'. I can't tell you how many times he's walked in on me-"

"Endin' that right there, look, we're in town." Applejack said hurriedly. There's honest, and then there's...whatever th' hay Geo is, Applejack thought.

As the trio walked through town, Celestia's sun had long since gone down, and Luna's moon was high in the sky. By human standards, it was around 9:30 pm.

Finally, they arrived at Carousel Boutique. Geo could see how the building got it's name. The roof looked just like a carousel. Why is everything horse related? Geo thought to herself. That thought was quickly followed by a snicker. Of course it's horse related. I'm in freaking Ponyville, for Christ's sake.

"Well, this was fun, but this is my stop, so..." Geo said, walking backwards towards the door of the boutique.

"Yes, Geo, have a pleasant stay. At least you get to stay somewhere that looks like it has class." Christian spat. "I have to live in a barn for five days."

Geo smirked. "Yeah, while you're there, work on the attitude." 

In return, she received a glare. She quickly turned around and knocked on the door, but she could still feel Christian's eyes boring into the back of her skull.

Not long after, the door opened, and Rarity stood there, with a small smile. "Oh there you are, dear. I've been waiting-" She looked at Geo's condition. Walking through the forest and into Ground Zero had got her covered with dirt and leaves. "We need to get you in the shower, quickly!" Rarity tried to usher her inside without actually touching her. Geo walked in, the backpack almost getting caught in the door.\

The last thing Applejack and Christian heard before the door closed was "Please don't touch anything! I don't want dirt everywhere!"

Applejack chuckled. "Typical Rarity." She then turned around. "C'mon, then. We ain't got long t' go."

She heard a grumble, but nothing more.

"Look, Ah ain't happy 'bout this, neither. Yer gonna hafta suffer though." Applejack said, rolling her emerald eyes.

More grumbling. "He'd better not be like this on th' farm." Applejack muttered to herself.


///


Finally, the orange farm pony and the tall human made it to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack sighed contently, and pointed over at the orchard. 

"That there's my livelihood. Ah go out there every mornin' and buck apple trees, then pick up th' apples that fall, and sell 'em at th' market." She breathed deeply. "It's a simple life, but it keeps me happy."

"Of course it does. I doubt it would take much to keep a simple mind such as your own occupied." Christian retorted.

That soured Applejack's mood right quick.

The two walked in silence to the front door of the big red farmhouse that the Apple family resided in. Just as they were about to enter, Applejack stood in front of it, trying to block Christian's entrance. 

"Alright, now listen here," Applejack said in a threatening tone. "Ah got my brother, Big Macintosh, my sister, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith. Now yer gonna treat 'em all with respect, y'hear?"

"Fine, yes, alright, okay. Frankly, I care not for your family. I need somewhere to sleep, and I need to take my mind off of my shaking hands..." Christian agreed. Indeed, his hands were shaking quite badly.

"That there shakin'...that got anythin' t' do with yer piano skills?" Applejack inquired.

"Yes, I need to play, else I begin to shake. It becomes something of an...inconvenience."

Applejack smirked. "Lucky fer you, Ah got a piano in there."

Christian's eyes went wide. "You...have one?" He sighed. "Thank goodness, I can play, and be rid of these damned convulsions!"

"Hold on, now. Ya'll ain't playin' that thing 'till you've said howdy t' th' family." Applejack revealed her trump card. Be nice, or be shaky.

If looks could kill, Christian would have recreated Hiroshima and Nagasaki right then and there. He began to grit his teeth. "Alright, pony. You will have your wish. I will enter, I will be polite, I will not insult you, your family or your orchard...and I can play?"

"Good. Now git! Ah ain't told 'em 'bout ya yet, but Ah bet my apples that they've heard o' ya'll 'cause o' gossip." Applejack said, opening the door and scooting him through. The sight that greeted Christian was not entirely expected.

They had walked into the living room, where there was a fireplace, which was currently alight and the only source of light in the room, some rugs on the floor, a couch and an old rocking chair...and a piano. However much he hated it, Christian had to hold it and talk to the family in question.

A large red pony was lying on the couch, fast asleep. A small yellow pony was lying in front of the fireplace, who wasn't asleep just yet. A medium sized green pony was in the rocking chair, sleeping and snoring rather loudly. 

Green pony most likely Granny Smith, due to age, and colouration. Cannot see eye colour. Mane white. Cutie mark of a pastry, probably an apple pie, if the combo continues. Raged breathing when not...ugh, snoring at 200 decibels. Feeble old women sitting in a rocking chair. How quaint. Seems very old, even by pony standards. Would say approximately five years of life by initial observations alone.

Large red stallion most likely Big Macintosh. Cannot see eye colour. Mane blonde. Cutie mark of a bisected green apple. Wearing what appears to be a yoke. Large, probably older brother. Cannot get much detail, due to sleeping status.

Yellow pony most likely Apple Bloom. Orange eyes. Red mane, with a red hair tie in it. Strange, no cutie mark...

Christian didn't get much further before Apple Bloom jumped up and squealed. "What's that?" she cried in a voice that sounded like a cheese grater to the humans ear drums. She was pointing a hoof at him shakily.

Her squeal woke Big Macintosh and Granny Smith. Big Macintosh immediately leaped to action, about to buck the human senseless. 

"Woah, woah, woah, Big Mac! No need t' buck 'im. Calm the hay down!" Applejack cried, diving in front of Christian.

Big Mac said nothing, but gave an apologetic look to his sister, and stood aside.

Apple Bloom was still shaking, not entirely sure what Christian was.

Granny Smith was sitting in her chair, staring at him with her big red eyes. 

None of them looked like they trusted him at all. Nor should they. I may just burn this to the ground, along with the orchard.

"Alright, everypony, calm down. This here's one o' them humans ya'll may o' heard 'bout. His name's Christian." Applejack explained.

Almost instantly, their expressions softened. Big Mac as he was now known stopped looking like he wanted to buck him into oblivion. Looking at his muscle bulk, he probably could, too. Granny stopped looking at him suspiciously, and Apple Bloom looked at him with curiosity. 

The little yellow filly was the first to respond. "Well howdy there! My name's Apple Bloom! Nice t' meetcha, Mr. Christian!" she began to trot up to him, sitting back on her haunches at the tip of his shoes. "Wow, ya'll're mighty tall!"

Christian, through this, had not said a word. He was still focused on the piano. He shook his head, and looked down at the little horse with malice. He was about to speak when Applejack gave him a look. He knew exactly what it meant.

Christian absolutely despised this, but he did it for the piano. She stood up straight, breathed in, smiled and said:

"Why hello, everypony. I apologise for the abrupt entry, but Applejack insisted." He knelt down to the young filly, and extended an arm. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Apple Bloom." Apple Bloom took his hand and shook eagerly, and giggled. "Ya'll have a funny accent." 

Christian huffed internally. Because an Australian accent is so much stranger than a southern United States one. Yes, I see the logic in that. Externally, he kept his false smile.

Christian then walked over to Big Mac, but said nothing. The two just stared at each other, and not a word was spoken for a solid minute. 

"I am glad we understand each other."

"Eeyup."

Big Mac seemed to relax slightly, and extended a hoof without a word. Christian took it and shook it. He then moved on to Granny Smith.

"You must be Mrs. Smith. A pleasure to meet you as well." he said, again extending his arm. Granny Smith chuckled. "Most folks 'round here call me Granny Smith, sonny. No need t' be all courteous."

"Courteous. There is a word I never believed to have heard from these hicks", Christian thought bitterly, before shaking Granny Smiths hoof and going to stand by Applejack once more.

"Well everypony, Ah have t' tell ya, the Princess ordered that Christian stay here on th' farm for a few days, see what it's like. So, he'll be livin' with us." The orange farm pony announced.

The rest of the apples didn't seem the least bit displeased. It was somewhat odd how quickly they accepted him.

"Well then sonny, we've all got 'n early start t'morrow, so get yer behind t' th' guest room," Granny Smith said, or rather, commanded.

"Actually, Granny Smith, I noticed you have a piano. Do you mind if I play for you? Think of it as a gift for allowing me to stay here in this..." Christian paused. "Lovely," Horrid, "Cosey," Awful, "House." Ramshackle of a barn.

"Uh, sure sonny." Granny looked slightly puzzled. "Now Ah ain't seen nopony play this thing well 'sides myself, so go 'head, if'n ya think ya got th' skill."

His smile was genuine. "Trust me, Apple family. I have much skill. You are going to love this." With that, he pulled up a stool in front of the piano, pressed a few keys experimentally, pressed on the pedals to check if they work, and then when all was said and done, 

he began to play.

The house filled with the sweet notes his fingers enticed from the black and white keys, his fingers flying across them, playing beautiful music. What's more, he was doing it with his eyes closed. 

Eventually, the music had to stop after he had worked out all of his stress. It had not taken long, in fact, it took the duration of a single song, approximately three minutes. By the end, however, the Apple family was completely absorbed by his skill.

"Wow...just...wow..." was all Apple Bloom had to say.

Big Mac said nothing as expected, and just nodded.

Applejack was staring at the keys. "Yer fingers flew across the keys like lightning! That was amazing!"

Granny Smith smiled. "I ain't seen nopony ever play something so grand, so well! What was that there song called?"

Christian took a deep breath. He was fully relaxed. "The song is called "Cohen's Scherzo no.7. I learned to play it not long ago, but it quickly became a favourite."

Christian stood and stretched. "I am very tired, exhausted even. If you would not mind, Applejack, could you show me to my quarters?" 

Applejack quickly said something that sounded like "Sure, g'night everypony," before ushering him out into the next room where the stairs were located. When they were there, Applejack turned to him.

"That was truly amazing, Christian. Really." She said. She was sincere.

"Yes, well, it was worth the effort of making nice with the Apples. Honestly, I did not mean a single word I said."

And with that, the magic was gone. Applejack frowned. "'Course ya didn't. Celestia forbid that ya actually be nice to somepony fer real."

"Indeed. Now, where will I be sleeping?" Christian asked.

Applejack led him up the stairs to his room. When they opened the door, it was pretty much what he was expecting. A single bed with pillows, a bedside table, a mirror, and literally nothing else besides the window and curtains. 

"About what I had estimated." Christian said with an air of distaste. He simply stood in front of the doorway, and looked back at his orange host. "Around what time will we be waking?"

"5:00 am sharp."

Applejack was surprised when Christian shrugged. "I have been up earlier. I will see you then?" 

Applejack looked at him oddly. "Yeah, uh sure. G'night."

"Indeed."

With that, Christian closed the door on his host, and went to the bedside table. He stripped down to his underwear, and after placing his clothes neatly over the end of the bed, slipped under the covers and lay his head on the pillow.

Christian took a deep yawn, and rolled onto his side.

A room to myself with a comfortable bed. Four different family members, each seemingly nice, in their own way. Work with pay in the morning. And they love my piano skills.

He sighed. I think I am going to like it here.




Not three seconds later, he remembered where he was.

Wait...no. No I will not.

And with that, sleep took him.


This was the next step in the large chain of events centred around the two strangest creatures in Equestria, now unofficial guests, Christian and Georgina.


Sorry, Geo.


///


Author note: People, this will be the last chapter before the sporadic updating begins. I have no idea when I will have enough time to write the next chapter, but it should be in a few days, depending on homework. This in no way means that this story is going On Hiatus. It's a few days max.

Next chapter, Christian works for the Apple family, and Rarity makes some new clothes for her house guest. 

The song Christian played on the piano is called "Cohen's Scherzo no.7. The link is a video of the song being played pretty much exactly how Christian played it. Listen to the song while reading that paragraph. It is one of my favourite songs, and I have no idea why. Maybe it's because of how complex it is. The link follows.

Cohen's Scherzo no.7