//------------------------------// // A Win-Win Situation // Story: Christian and Geo in Equestria // by ChrisTheCat //------------------------------// Back in Room 233... Rainbow was shocked. What she had just heard had literally shocked her into silence. She was supposed to be the tough one out of the group, yet she was just as emotionally jarred as they were when they first heard of Christian's life. "Wow..." Rainbow finally managed to say. "That's...that's rough..." "Yeah, no kiddin'," said Applejack, frowning. "It still doesn't give him and excuse to just waltz into Ponyville and start trying to eat ponies, though!" Rainbow cried. She shook her head. "I don't care how badly he was treated, he hurt you guys, and I'll protect you, no matter what!" "We appreciate that, Rainbow Dash. Thanks." Twilight said, reaching over and patting the hospitalised mare on the shoulder. Rainbow did a quick scan of the room, and raised an eyebrow. "Uh, speaking of which, guys...where's Fluttershy and the Princess?" "Well, they decided to stay back and see if they could get Christian to wake up," Rarity answered. This answer did not have favourable results. "Are you kidding me? She's in there with him? He could hurt her! Let me at 'em!" Rainbow cried, trying to get out of the bed, only to be held down by her fellow Elements. "Let me go!" she yelled. "Rainbow, The Princess can take care of herself and Fluttershy. There's no need to panic." Twilight said calmly, patting Rainbow on the shoulder again. "Oh, right. The Princess..." Rainbow said, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. "Yeah...I forgot about her." "Oh, you were worried about Fluttershy?" asked Pinkie. "Nah, she can take care of herself! She's all shy and everything, but when she needs to, she can be all, RARGH, and stuff." Pinkie bounced up and down. "And besides, Christian couldn't hurt hurt her if he wanted too! The Princess is there, and if he tries anything," Pinkie suddenly got very serious. "She'll send him to the MOON!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, which is pretty loud, all things considered. "Geez, Pinkie, I get it! Just," Rainbow rubbed her ears, "not so loud! My head still kinda hurts..." "Oh, right." Pinkie giggled sheepishly. "Sorry, Dashie." With that, a light knocking came from the door. "Um, hello? I'd like to come in! If that's, um, alright..." the voice was very, very quiet, and nopony would have heard it if there had not been silence in the room at the time. Applejack chuckled lightly. "Gee, Ah wonder who that could possibly be." "Oh, oh, is it The Princess? Or Geo?" Pinkie started excitedly. She gasped. "Maybe Gummy learned how to talk and knock on doors! Well, he could talk already, because i remember this one time he-" "Pinkie, it's Fluttershy. Applejack was joking." Rainbow sighed. "You are so random..." The orange farm mare trotted over and opened the door to see Fluttershy, earning an "Aw" from Pinkie, who really was hoping it to be Gummy. The canary pegasus trotted in slowly, hiding her face behind her mane. "Fluttershy, are you okay? Did that human say anything to upset you?" Rainbow asked quickly. fluttershy seemed to be the only one who picked up on just how quickly. When you find out something about somepony, you really start noticing things about them you wouldn't normally... "Oh, Rainbow! You're awake!" she cried, or rather, her equivalent of crying aloud, which was something akin to regular speech. She flew over and hugged her rainbow friend, a little tighter than she had intended. "Flutter...shy...too tight..." Rainbow wheezed. The canary pegasus immediately let go. "It's good to see you're alright..." Fluttershy said, blushing slightly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I've been through worse." Rainbow shrugged, still as cocky as ever. "I guess so..." Fluttershy whispered, mostly to herself. "So, did everypony tell you about...um..." "Yeah, they did. I still don't think what he did was right, but I do kinda feel sorry for him." Rainbow looked around the room. "Just a bit." She smiled at Fluttershy. "I'm just glad he didn't try to eat you again. That's one of the reasons I beat the hay out of him." Fluttershy blanched when she remembered what Christian had relayed to her earlier, but quickly calmed down. She would confront Rainbow about it later. Right now, she was just glad that her oldest friend was alright. "Alright, everypony, now that everypony is awake and in the same room, I think we should talk about what to do with Christian and Geo." Twilight announced. The Elements, Spike and Luna all formed a circle around the bed. Twilight noticed who was missing first. "We need Princess Celestia for this. Can somepony...you know what? I'll do it." Twilight said. With that, she quickly left the room to go find the Princess. Who was standing right outside, a letter levitating in front of her. "Oh, hello Princess! That was...convenient." Twilight pointed out. She moved out of the way to let the princess of the Sun into the room, the letter vanishing in a puff of green smoke. "Greeting, my little ponies," Celestia greeted, and then nodded at Luna. "Hello, sister." Luna simply nodded, opting to keep quiet. "Princess, I was just coming to get you, so we could discuss what to do with Christian and Geo." Twilight exclaimed, trying to wave her over to the circle around the bed, before realising that was not something you did to royalty. Celestia, however, thought nothing of it, and joined. Now the circle was complete. Rainbow Dash in the bed, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity to her left, Applejack and Luna at the foot of the bed, Celestia, Twilight and Spike to her right. The Elements had assembled, along with both Princesses. It was time for thus meeting to get underway. Though, if they were discussing the future of the humans... "Twilight Sparkle, should we not bring the humans here? We are, after all, discussing their future." Luna observed, voicing Twilight's thoughts. Twilight sighed. "Alright, I'll see if I can get the doctors to transfer Christian in here." Twilight frowned. "How will i be able to convince the doctors?" Celestia chuckled lightly, a melody that warmed everypony in the room. "Tell them you have my authority. If that fails, then I will see them myself." Everyone smiled, and Twilight nodded, pleased with the situation. "Alright then, everypony. I'll be back soon-" "Actually, Twilight, before you go..." Celestia motioned for her to come back to the circle, which she did, not wanting to disobey her mentor. "I have already come up with a plan on what to do with them. I just need them here, and for them to agree to it." Most of the rooms occupants looked slightly unsure about that, but agreed anyway. This was the Princess, after all. Thousands of years of experience, and all that. "Well, what's the plan already?" Spike asked impatiently. "I'm glad you asked, Spike. We will have a vote on it." Celestia grinned. And then she told them the plan. The room was silent for another time that day. Nopony could really believe what they had just heard. "That's crazy! Why would he even agree to that?" Rainbow cried. "Hey, why would I agree to that? I say no way!" "That there...is a mighty interestin' plan ya got there, Princess." Applejack said questioningly. "I hafta agree with RD on this one. I say no." "Yay! I'd get the opportunity to throw a party! I say yes!" Pinkie shouted excitedly. "Why on Equestria would we ever agree to that, Princess? It's...unfathomable! I say no!" Rarity said, appaled that such a suggestion would have ever been made. "Um, well, I'm fine with it. If that's, um...no, you know what? I say yes!" cried Fluttershy with a sudden burst of confidence. "I do see the drawbacks and possible dangers of such a plan, sister, but I also see the advantages. I say yes." Luna said with a smile. "I'm not sure about this, Princess, but I trust your judgement. I say yes." Twilight said. Spike just saw it as more work for him, but as he was about to complain, he received a stern glare from Twilight, which shut him up instantaneously. "I say yes." Celestia smiled her warm and friendly smile. "Three not in favour, five in favour, not includiing myself. So, Elements, Luna, Spike, are we in agreement?" One by one, everypony nodded, some less happy about it than others. "Alright then, let us begin." Celestia announced. She looked at her prized student, who looked eager to get to work. "Twilight, please retrieve the necessary permissions to have Christian transferred to Room 233, please." "Right away!" Twilight gave a little salute, and trotted out of the room. Celestia followed. Luna was puzzled. "Sister, where are you going? What do we do?" Celestia smiled, in a knowing way. "I am heading to Christian's room to talk to the humans. I want the rest of you to stay here." With that, Celestia left room 233, and began the walk to room 45. The remaining ponies were at a loss as to what they should be doing. "So, anypony got any ideas as t' what we're meant t' be doin'?" Applejack asked the room. "Oh, oh, I know!" Pinkie cried suddenly, leaping up and down. She kept leaping, even after she had everypony's attention. "I know! I know! IknowIknowIknowIkno-" "What, Pinkie?" cried almost everypony in usion. There was silence, and then the absurdity of what had just happened caused them all to burst into fits of laughter. Pinkie didn't know why they were laughing, but she did anyway. "Whew...anyway, what do ya'll suggest, Pinkie?" Applejack asked. Pinkie grinned very widely. "Let's play Truth or Dare!" An exasperated groan filled room 233, that everypony could hear, right through the hospital. /// Meanwhile, just outside room 45... The Princess had arrived. It had not taken her long, as everypony in the hallways had moved out of her way. Using her golden magic, she turned the knob and entered the room. Christian and Geo were having another debate. "You are a...lunatic!" "Yeah? Well you're a loser!" "You are maniacal." "You're mean!" "You are a necrophiliac!" "Oh come on, Christian! He was asleep, not dead." "I suppose...when we get back home, you need to soundproof your room. Or stop dating. Whichever one has less risk of infecting me with some sort of venereal disease." "I'm gonna ignore that comment. What are we up to?" "N." "Um...you're a noob!" "Really? Try this one, miss Sensitive-About-Her-Age: You are old." "You're an ass!" "That begins with 'A' not 'O'." Celestia cleared her throat. "Am I interrupting?" The two humans focused on the large regal alicorn standing in the doorway. Geo was the first to respond. "Oh, no, Your Highness. We were just..." she looked back at Christian, "chatting." Celestia looked over at Christian as well, to notice something alarming. The tubes that were connected to his wrists here no longer connected, instead replaced with balls of cotton and tape. "Who removed your IV tubes?" Celestia inquired. Christian just smirked. "Oh, I did. Yes, I am fully aware of the consequences, but your doctors were not very familiar with my system, and had placed the tubes into less effective veins." He shrugged. "In response, I removed them, and covered them with the cotton and tape, which were located conveniently in an unlocked drawer over there." He pointed at a medical cabinet next to the door. Celestia felt like she should protest, but Geo stopped her. "It's okay, Princess. He knows his medicine." Celestia was still unsure, but let it slide. "So, what was it that i walked in on you two...chatting about?" she asked. Christian answered this one. "Well, it is a little game we invented where we insult each other with a derogatory comment beginning with a specific letter of the alphabet. It is called the 'Name Game'. For example, we were on the letter 'O', and I believe that Geo was about to call me..." he trailed off, looking at his female counterpart expectantly. "Oh, I was going to say 'overconfident'." Geo admitted. Christian turned back to the Princess. "You see? Fun for all ages! Why do we not have a game ourselves, Princess?" Celestia looked confused. "I would respectfully decline, thank you. Now-" "I will not take no for an answer, Celestia." Christian singsonged. Celestia simply sighed and nodded. "Will you listen to me if I play?" Smirk. "Maybe." Celestia did not like that at all. "Alright, Celestia, you go first." Christian requested. "Hmm...alright, Christian, you are...arrogant." Geo decided to commentate. "An accurate opening from the Princess! Nothing hurts more than the truth!" "Ouch! Your words! They sting!" Christian mocked. "You are an ama." "Oh, and Christian is already switching to foreign languages!" Geo cried excitedly. "Forgive my asking, but what does that mean?" Celestia inquired, genuinely curious. She promised herself she would not get angry at the results. After all, it is just a game. "It is Japanese for 'one who is, or acts like a bitch.' Christian explained, smirking upon reaching the trigger word. Celestia remained true to her promise, however. "You are...brutish." Celestia countered. "And Celestia strikes back!" Geo cried. This continued on, insult after insult. Celestia was more reluctant with hers, as she was not rude by nature, but she did use insults from several languages, including Griffon and Buffalo. Christian had a whole plethora of them up his sleeve as well, from Japanese to Indonesian to Russian to German, even to Latin. Christan was obviously winning, but he knew it was because Celestia was not trying. Nevertheless, they were enjoying themselves. Finally... "You, Christian, are zoned-out." Celestia said, earning a disappointed groan from both humans. "And a weak finish from Celestia. But Christian still has one remaining...quiet, folks, and let's see what he has as a final retort." Geo said in a stage whisper. "Celestia, my dear, ruler of Equestria..." Christian began. Geo leaned in. Celestia smiled at her own unexpected anticipation. "You are a Zonah." Geo went ballistic. "Oh my God, what a tremendous finish from Christian! And in Hebrew as well! He is truly deserving of the title 'Master Debater'!" Geo cheered for a while after, purposely getting overexcited for the fun of it. It did not take long for Christian to pick up on the title he had been 'awarded'. Celestia could not help but giggle at her antics, even if she did not know what Christian had said. She did not really want a translation. "Is this truly how you like to relax? By insulting each other?" Celestia questioned. "Oh, no, Princess. We argue in a friendly manner, no harm done. I do other things in my spare time, but talking with Christian really vents my frustration." Geo explained. "Indeed. While Geo enjoys 'playing alone' to pass the time," he began, earning a mortified look from Geo that went unnoticed by the Princess, as did the true meaning behind what he said, "I enjoy playing the piano. I am quite talented, I am told. That is what I do for relaxation." Christian the cleared his throat. "Well, Princess? You played along, and I have decided to indulge you. What did you want to ask?" Christian asked. Celestia put on her 'Royal Court' face, which is to say, completely neutral, and said "Christian and Geo, I need you to come with me to room 233. We have decided your fate in our lands." Christian's face fell. "Oh, but what a fun time we were having! If you really wish to kick us out, just say so!" he mocked. Geo was not taking it so lightly. "Princess...do we really have to leave?" she questioned, looking rather upset. "No, that has not been decided. We need your input if we are to make a final decision." The Princess of the Sun confirmed, which put Geo's fears to ease. "Well, I will need my clothes if I am to be walking anywhere." Christian said. "I doubt anyone would want to see me naked. Considering my parents interesting choice of bodily decor, scars are pretty much everywhere." He pointed to a small container near the door. "They are in there." Geo gave him a questioning look. "Um, how did you know?" "Well, for one, I can see the tip of my sleeve poking out of the top." "Ah." Geo went over to the container, and sure enough, Christians clothing was all there. Grey underwhere, black and white socks, grey jeans with no holes or tears, a dark blue shirt with the number '73' on the front, and a grey hoodie. Christian got out of bed. Celestia immediately averted her gaze. "Christian, have some decency! Didn't you just say-" "I know what I said, Princess. Eidetic memory. I knew you would look away." Christian confirmed. About two minutes later, all of his clothing was on. He looked just like he had when he first came through the portal. "Good, we can go." Celestia remarked. She turned to the door, but then turned back. "Geo, you told me outside the library that humans did not like to expose themselves in front of others. Why did you not turn away?" Geo shrugged. "I've lived with him for six years. I've walked in in him in the shower, he's walked in on me mas-uh, getting changed. It's something you just get used to." "Right..." Celestia said intelligently. Celestia realised something else. "You have three fractured ribs, one broken rib, and head trauma. How are you able to get up?" Christian smirked. "When you have to go through what my parents put me through daily, without medical attention, you learn how to treat yourself. But before you learn to do that," Christian stretched, making himself gas at the sudden pain in his chest, "you have to learn how to take the pain." Celestia dropped that subject very quickly. From there, the ruler of Equestria and her two human counterparts walked the halls, Christian gasping every now and again. /// When they arrived, they found that Twilight Sparkle had already returned. "Princess, I couldn't get the doctors to comply, so-" She looked over at Christian and Geo. "You took care of it." "Now how in tarnation are ya'll out an' about?" Applejack demaned. "I bucked you in the head mighty hard." Christian smirked. "Dear Applejack, my father was a much harder hitter than you." Applejack shut up right there. Rainbow was glaring at him. "Hey Christian. How're your ribs?" She asked with a slight grin. "Christian smirked in return. "How is Fluttershy?" Rainbow's eyes opened wide, and she looked over at Fluttershy, who looked away, blushing. She couldn't possibly know... Nopony else in the room seemed to pick up on what he meant by that except Geo and the two pegasi present, the pegasi in question exchanging uncomfortable glances, wanting to talk about it, but unable to in front of so many other ponies, and royalty, even. Everypony was still in a circle around the bed, and Applejack and Luna moved aside to make room for the humans. Everypony was there, the Elements, the Diarchs, the humans, and Spike. The plan could now be discussed. Celestia began. "Alright, Christian, Geo. Before we begin, I would like Christian to answer a few questions." Christian grumbled at being told what to do, but was somewhat...aware of Applejack, who was standing right next to him. He complied. "Yes, Celestia?" he received a bump on the side from the orange farm mare. "Yes, Princess Celestia?" "I am going to say a few words, and I want you to say the first word that comes to mind." The Princess finished. Christian looked wholly unamused. "If, after I answer this, I must do the Rorschach Ink-Blot test, my answers to the standard are a butterfly, a bat, a dragonfly, and two bears high-fiveing." Celesita just shook her head, and began. "Honesty?" "Deceit." "Alright...Generosity?" "Self-indulgence." "Loyalty?" "Betrayal." "Laughter?" "Insecurity." "Kindness?" "Sister." "Magic?" "Science." Celestia nodded. "That's pretty much what I was afraid of." She raised an eyebrow suddenly. "Wait, what did you say for 'Kindness'?" "Cruelty." "Oh, I must have misheard you." Celestia shook her head. "Never mind that." "You misheard me? Are you getting on in years, Princess?" Christian mocked, which Celestia ignored, though this earned him some looks from around the room, especially from Twilight. "Christian and Georgina," she looked over at Geo with an apologetic look. She didn't like it, but she kept quiet. "Christian and Georgina," Celestia repeated, "the Elements, Spike, Luna and I have come to an arrangement." "We have asked everypony here about how they would feel about this plan. The majority ruled in favour." She nodded, thinking to herself. Christian became impatient. "Well?" "We brought you to this world by pure accident. We cast a spell that was meant to bring a few objects from a random location in a random dimension. You were the result. If we cast the same spell to get you back, the same thing would happen. It would be random." Celestia put on her 'Royal-Court' face, and continued. "Now, we have commissioned our greatest scientists and magic experts to finding out how to cast that spell so that you would be able to return to the exact location you were taken from." Celestia then smiled. "We have something planned for you in the meantime." Christian did not like where this was headed. "I have discussed it with the Elements, and after some small convincing, they all agree." Celestia stood up straight. "Christian, Georgina, while you stay in Equestria..." Christian and Geo both leaned in towards her, Geo in anticipation, Christian with rapidly growing impatience. "We have decided that you will stay with each element, in turn, to learn the true meaning and magic of friendship." Nopony said a word. The entire room, for the umpteenth time that day, was bathed in silence. This silence was short lived, however, when Geo spoke out. "Yes! Yes, I would love to stay!" Everypony either cheered or smiled at her reaction. They had temporarily forgotten about Christian. That is, until he made is presence reknown. "Alright, Celestia, I am going to answer that with a question." Cjristian said calmly. "do not take any offence from this question if you can help it." Christian cleared his throat, stood up straight, sniffed, swallowed, took a deep breath, and... "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" Pretty much everyone jumped, except Geo, who saw it coming. "Alright, first off, you bring me here, against my will! You lose points for that. You knock me out over what was nothing more than a misuner- you know what? No, it was not. I was trying to get us some food for later! You knock me out for that! Then Tomboy here picks a fight with me after I make a few harmless insults towards her friends. I have had much worse, but really? Then, Dolly Parton here comes in and kicks me in the head full force, causing untold amounts of damage! I could have died! And then, to top it all off, after all of that, you ask me to stay with you, and to not expect a reaction?!" Christian was breathing heavily. He was looking at each pony in the room, in turn. "Applejack! How would you feel if I were to stay with you? Could you tolerate such a violent creature?" Applejack thought for a bit. "Actually, if you could channel yer violence into kickin' prowess, ya might be a helpin' hoof on th' farm. Ah could also teach ya how ta be honest." Christian stared. "I knew I should not have started with the 'southern beauty'." He turned to the bed itself. "Rainbow Dash! I beat your head into the ground thirty-eight times, kicked you in the stomach hard enough for you to empty it, almost broke your wings, not to mention the awkwardness that will happen later on." "Yeah, but I can always just get you back later for it. Besides, I have a feeling that 'awkwardness' may not turn out so bad. Anyway, loyalty is something you need to work on, and I'm just the mare to help!" Rainbow replied. "Pinkie Pie?" "Oh, we could bake to-" "I will not even go there. Twilight? Spike? Do you not hate me for hurting your friends?" Christian asked, now starting to sound desperate. "I could never bring myself to hate anyone. Hate is the complete and total absence of love, and I love everypony to some degree. Besides, i can teach you all about the magic of friendship, just like my friends taught me." Twilight explained. Spike nodded. "I don't hate you. It wasn't you who said...those words to me..." he said, casting a quick glance over to Rarity. "Rarity?" Christian questioned. "Darling, you tried to eat a pony. There are no words for something like that. You also have a horrid sense of fashion." Rarity shook her head. "But I could use some help gathering gems now that Spike..." Rarity sighed. 'I can also teach you about Generosity." "Fluttershy?" Fluttershy began to speak, but Christian cut her off. "I actually have less of a problem living with you than I do anyone else, so do not bother. You will teach me 'kindness' or whatever." Something clicked in Christian's head. "That is why you asked those questions. You wanted to know what I thought about the 'elements'." "Indeed." Celestia acknowledged. Christian looked around the room. "Do none of you fear the mental anguish that I can and most likely will put you through?" "Not really." Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "And besides, we can just get Rainbow Dash or Applejack to punch you up some if you try to be a big ol' meanie-pants again." Christian was not pleased. "What if I still disagree?" Celestia looked at him, a smirk on her face. "Well, if you do not agree, I can tell my scientists and magic masters to stop research..." Christian put every ounce of emotion he was physically capable of feeling into the following glance and sentence. "You wound not..." "What do you say?" Celestia asked. Christian was in a hopeless situation. Either he stay with those he hated most, and that had ruined his less-than-perfect-to-begin-with life so that he was able to leave, or he would be forced to stay here forever, not necessarily in their company, but just...here, in general. As much as it pained him, the only logical conclusion was... "I hate you all. But yes." Everyone in the room cheered, much to his chagrin. "But," he called, grabbing everypony's attention. "I have one condition." "What is that?" Christian looked over at Geo, and remembered something that they had talked about in room 45, before the 'Name Game'. She was smiling, and that, for whatever reason, made him feel slightly better about the situation. "My condition is this: We are allowed to go back into the forest first, and collect some of the items that came with us." He smiled, with no humor. "If I am going to get through this sane, I need Pepsi." This is the next step in the large chain of events centred around the two strangest creatures, now official guests, in Equestria, Christian and Georgina. "Hey!" Sorry, Geo. /// Author notes: Alright, fans of mine, I have a dilemma. If you have read my bio, then you know I am only sixteen, and as such, I am still in school. I have been able to write this solely because it's the school holidays. From Monday onward, I will no longer be able to go with the daily updates, because I will have school. And school will involve homework. As much as pleasing my fellow bronies (and the occasional pegsister) brings joy and meaning into my otherwise bland life, school does take priority, and in that regard, I am like Twilight, because when I study and work, I damn well study and work. Next chapter, Christian is sent to Sweet Apple Acres, while Geo is sent to Carousel Boutique. Hilarity ensues. Or, at least, I hope it will. I'm also working on another story! By working on, I mean I have plans, but haven't started. I'll begin once this fic is done, so it should take a while. Finally, don't forget to ask Christian and Geo anything you wish in the comments, or in my PM.