//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: Sick in the Noggin // by an guy //------------------------------// “Hey, Twilight! Watch this!” Reluctantly breaking my stare from the pages laid before me, I raised my head and found the source of the voice; a rainbow-colored blur performing various spins and loops through the air. “Yeah that’s great Rainbow Dash,” I replied halfheartedly before indulging once more in my tome on obscure unicorn spells. “Was that awesome, or was it awesome?” Rainbow Dash sounded rather pleased with herself, but then irritation crept into her voice. “…You weren’t paying attention, were you,” she complained, and followed up with an exasperated sigh. Rainbow has always had this way of making me feel guilty over the most insignificant things. I shut the book for the time being, but only after making sure my page was marked, and replied, “I’m sorry Rainbow. I was just sort of wrapped up in this.” I nudged the book sitting in front of me on the library’s balcony. “Do it again, I promise I’m watching this time!” “Yeah, sure you are,” she said with the same annoyance as before, but then gave me a quick smirk and proceeded anyway. After a few seconds of mental preparation, she began the stunt again with a backward loop, but her right wing clipped a nearby tree branch and sent her roughly to the ground, where she slid on her face to a halt a few yards away. “Rainbow, are you okay?” I said automatically. She was probably fine (that crazy filly takes falls worse than that on a daily basis, for Celestia’s sake), but I just wanted to be sure. “Uh, yeah… I meant to do that,” came the sheepish reply from the battered pegasus as she picked herself up and dusted off. I couldn’t help but give a short giggle at how quickly she had come to her own pride’s defense. It’s such a gorgeous day outside, I thought to myself. Despite my brain being caught up in the spell book, my body itched to be up and about on this particular day. Maybe not out crashing and burning, and getting all dirty like some ponies, but a midday stroll sounds nice. Celestia’s sun was burning bright directly overhead; it seemed even more alive than usual today, almost as if I could see the princess’s loving face shining across its surface. More ponies than just me seemed to take notice of the lovely weather as well, and I could see dozens outside playing, working, and relaxing, just from my perch on the library’s balcony. Yeah, a walk does sound nice. I made up my mind. “Spiiike!” I called out into the library’s open upper door. My always faithful (and sometimes grumpy) assistant showed his annoyed face at the door. I had probably just woken him up from a nap or something, but he has all afternoon for that anyway. “There you are, Spike. I think I’m going to take a short walk.” “And you woke me up to tell me this… why?” he asked groggily. “Because I need someone to watch the library, silly! You’re in charge while I’m gone, okay?” I flashed him a bright smile as I walked past him and down the stairs. This seemed to satisfy him, and he straightened up a bit and saluted. “Yes ma’am!” “Good! I’ll be back soon,” I said, and stepped out the front door. This time the air felt even nicer. It was a fairly warm day, but with just enough of a soft breeze to counter the heat. Wow, I really do need to go outside more, I thought. I don’t spend all my time cooped up indoors, but more sun wouldn’t kill me. Maybe I can add “take a walk” to the daily checklist. Then I’d have to make time f- “Smart choice, Twi! You really should get out a little more… or a lot more.” I turned to my left and saw Rainbow Dash hovering along beside me as I walked. “I was just thinking about that, actually,” I said with a playful smile. “Did you read my mind, Rainbow?” She shook her head. “I can barely read words, much less minds,” she laughed. I chuckled with her. “Though I have been trying to expand my reading horizons.” “Oh, really?” When I had given her that Daring Do book a few weeks ago while she was recovering at the hospital, I wasn’t very optimistic. But by this point she had read through nearly the entire series, as well as a few other fictions I recommended to her. “Yeah! I read my first non-fiction, totally true, 100% factual book yesterday,” she said with a smug grin. I rolled my eyes, more out of amusement than anything else. “That’s great! What’s it called?” Suddenly, Rainbow Dash’s proud expression was replaced by a bashful one, and she hesitated. “Um…” she forced out, and then mumbled something I couldn’t make out. “Didn’t quite catch that, Rainbow.” Now I was more curious than ever. “Uh… Everypony Poops…” It was all that I could do not to burst out and roll on the ground laughing, and even so, a chuckle slipped out before I could jam it back down my throat with a hoof. “Rainbow Dash…” I choked out in between snickers, “You know that’s a… book for little foals, right?” I had never seen Rainbow Dash blush as hard as she did right then, as she stammered to make an excuse. “Well y-yeah, duh! But I was just- er, I wanted to-“ Just then, a very high-pitched squeal resonated through the clear sky. It was a pony’s cry, no doubt, but from whom I couldn’t tell. Rainbow and I both winced at the sound. “Uh, that doesn’t sound good,” said Rainbow, eager to escape the previous conversation. “I’d better go check it out.” With that, she took off in the direction of the scream. I considered continuing my stroll, figuring that if something really was wrong, Rainbow could take care of it. But then I looked toward where she was flying. If I’m not mistaken, that’s over by the cottage at the edge of town. The cottage belonging to… “Fluttershy!” Now I had no choice. What if something had happened to her? That could have been a scream of terror, and terror is not a very close friend of Fluttershy. What if it was a scream of pain? Stop wasting time speculating and get moving already! I broke into a gallop, following the rainbow trail. --- Ascending the next hill, I spotted the roof of the cottage coming into view. “Finally,” I gasped to myself, out of breath. “Oh wow, I really need to start working out or something.” I’m not exactly the most physically fit pony, but you probably knew that. I shelved those thoughts for the time being and focused on my task. One of my friends could be in trouble here, and she’s a fragile pony. Gotta find her. Gotta find Fluttershy. “Fluttershy! Where are you?” Rainbow Dash called out to her fellow pegasus. I watched as she rushed out of Fluttershy’s front door and spotted me approaching. “She’s not here?” I asked hurriedly. She shook her head. “I searched her whole house, her yard, everything. And I swear that stupid bunny has a grudge on me or something; all he would do is give me dirty looks. That’s not cool OR helpful.” “Well if she’s not here…” I gulped. “What if somepony scared her off? What if somepony kidnapped her?! Oh no, oh no oh no oh no. This is not good.” I must have been freaking out a lot more than I realized, because Rainbow apparently felt the need to smack me across the face with her hoof. I shot her a hurt and irritated look, but then lowered my head sheepishly. “Sorry.” She waved a hoof. “Look, we’re just going to have to pull ourselves together and find her, so that we can find what’s wrong and fix it.” “Something’s wrong? Oh no, what’s wrong, Rainbow Dash?” Startled by the sudden voice, Rainbow and I whipped around to find none other than Fluttershy, standing right behind us. I breathed a sigh of relief and started to speak, but Rainbow cut me off. “What?! I just spent ten minutes scouring this whole place for you, and you’re standing right behind me? Have you been hanging out with Pinkie?” Fluttershy giggled. I’ve always loved her giggle, so soft and light. Then she said, “Well I wasn’t here until just now. I actually just got back from your house, Dash. I wanted to ask you for a favor.” “Oh… well, shoot.” “Well I’m having the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’ over again tonight, and I was wondering if you’d help me watch them. Angel is sick, and I don’t know if I can keep an eye on the girls very well while I’m taking care of him.” She finished with a bashful smile. “Fillysitting, eh?” Rainbow pondered this for a few seconds and then shrugged. “Sure, why not?” “Oh thank you so much!” squeaked Fluttershy as she lunged toward her friend. “Oh no no, you don’t have to- …well okay then,” Rainbow muttered as Fluttershy wrapped her hooves around Rainbow’s neck and nuzzled her. I chuckled as Rainbow accepted her affectionate fate. But then my mind snapped back to the mission, and I voiced my thoughts. “Well wait, we heard a scream coming from over here about ten minutes ago. Was that you, Fluttershy?” The yellow pegasus released her friend, much to the latter’s relief, and said, “No, I certainly don’t remember screaming recently. Let’s see—“ she paused to recall, and then continued— “I fed poor little Angel, gave him his medicine, took a quick nap on the floor, and then went to Dash’s house, and then—“ “Okay Fluttershy, we don’t need to hear every single thing you d—“ “Wait, what did you say?” I asked, cutting Rainbow off. Something struck me as odd in Fluttershy’s explanation. “Who takes a quick nap on the floor?” I watched Rainbow’s annoyed expression turn into a puzzled one, and we both looked at Fluttershy, who hid part of her face behind her pink mane as she often does. “Um, well, to be honest I don’t really know why I did it, but I just woke up on the floor suddenly, so I figured I had just laid down for a minute and dozed off by accident. Then I remembered I was about to go to Dash’s house, so I left.” Now Fluttershy looked just as confused as we did; she apparently hadn’t questioned it when it happened. “Maybe you just passed out or something,” Rainbow blurted out. “Rarity does it from time to time, so why not you?” I looked at her skeptically and retorted, “Rarity is a total drama queen. She’ll faint if she hears the sound of fabric tearing. Fluttershy’s not like that.” “Well, actually, um…” Fluttershy squeaked just loud enough for us to hear, and when we looked at her, she turned away. “Actually what?” said Rainbow Dash, probably a bit more forcefully than she intended. “Uh…” continued Fluttershy in her trademark shy way. “Well, I didn’t tell anypony because I didn’t want you guys to worry, but… I think something’s wrong with me,” she finally blurted out, tears beginning to form in her eyes. Something’s wrong? “Oh… what’s wrong, Fluttershy? Please tell us,” I urged, my inward concern apparent in my voice. “Yeah, Shy,” Rainbow agreed. “We’re your friends and we’re gonna help you through… whatever it is,” she finished lamely. I let out an amused snort but I don’t think she noticed; she was waiting eagerly for Fluttershy’s answer, her apprehension evident on her face. Rainbow Dash has a strong connection with the more timid pegasus, and for good reason; the two have quite a long history. Back before Fluttershy moved to Ponyville, Rainbow was the one who always had her back when she couldn’t stand up for herself (which was most of the time). I ought to ask Rainbow more about their history sometime, as I don’t know the specifics, I thought to myself. Heh, I still haven’t gotten around to that yet. But I digress. Having added that to my mental checklist, I turned back to Fluttershy, who was finally beginning to speak up. “You’re right,” she said in her best determined voice. Then she took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and continued. “It started a few days ago. I was out in the yard, spending time with the smaller woodland creatures. I love all animals, but those are my favorite to be around.” She punctuated this with a soft smile, but it didn’t last for long. “I was out sitting by a tree that had been struck during that huge lightning storm last Monday. I had been worried about it falling, but it stayed up the whole rest of the day, so I thought it would keep standing…” Another pause, and fresh tears began to well up. “I saw a big, beautiful blue jay land on one of the branches, and I guess that was its last straw… The whole tree snapped at the trunk, and…” She tried to choke out more, but she was outwardly crying now and couldn’t speak through the tears. I stepped over to her and wrapped my hoof gently around her neck, doing my best to comfort her. Rainbow Dash had been hanging on every word, but now she scratched her head and blurted out, “Wait, that’s it? A tree got nixed by a lightning bolt? That happens like, during every storm ever. And what does have to do with passing out and/or screaming?” “Maybe if you’d wait for her to finish,” I responded sternly, “it would make more sense. Or maybe the tree was special to her.” Partially composing herself, Fluttershy forced out, “No Twilight, I’m not finished. It’s just, every time I think about it…” I saw that she was about to break down again, so I held her tighter. After a few moments she continued, “I dodged the falling tree easily, but the squirrels didn’t see it until the last second and, and…” At this point she was caught up in almost a ramble. “I tried to save them! I really did! B-but, I had thought of myself first and got out of there, and when I tried to go back and save them, I was too late!” Now she was starting to wail. Well, more of a half squeak, half wail. I just kept holding her and stroking her mane as she poured her heart out. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” she squealed as she lightly patted the ground with her front hooves. I guess she’s trying to stomp? I glanced over at Rainbow Dash, who had begun to tear up, and she quickly wiped her face and looked away when she met my eyes. I sighed and noticed my own eyes watering; I can only imagine how traumatic something like that would be to Fluttershy. And to see it happen right in front of her! I gave her a minute or two to calm down and, as softly as possible, asked her, “How many were there?” I found my own voice beginning to choke. She wiped her eyes again and looked at me. “Most of the dozen or so escaped,” she said, her voice shaking immensely. “But two of them… the poor things never saw it coming. It came down right on top of them and they… they…” Any ounce of composure in her vanished and she started bawling again, leaning on my side and burying her face in my mane. I looked over at Rainbow again and she just shrugged and gave me a sympathetic look. What was I expecting, though? Comforting ponies was never exactly a strong point of hers. “I’m so sorry, Fluttershy,” I whispered sincerely, and continued to run my hoof through her mane. A few seconds passed in silence, aside from the occasional sob from the distraught pegasus. “Why don’t we go inside?” I offered. She nodded weakly, and the three of us headed into her simple cottage. --- “So let me get this straight,” said Rainbow slowly. “Ever since you saw… that bad thing, you’ve been randomly blacking out?” Inside the cottage, we all sat in a triangle in Fluttershy’s living room, each with her own cup of tea. Everypony was a bit more relaxed, and Fluttershy a bit more open to discussion. “Not randomly,” Fluttershy replied calmly. She had cleaned herself up and mostly recovered from her miserable state by now. “Sometimes, when I see a squirrel, especially one of the ones who were there that day, or even just thinking about it on my own…” She trailed off. “That’s when you black out,” I finished for her, and scribbled a note on my pad. Yeah that’s right, laugh if you want. I was taking notes. I really hadn’t said much at all since we came inside; I was busy listening and writing. “No,” she said, in a grim tone that was very unlike her. “That’s when the visions start.” Rainbow Dash, who had started to get distracted, whipped her head back toward Fluttershy with such force that I was surprised her neck didn’t snap. “Visions?” she asked, eyes wide. “What kind of creepy disease is this?” I’ll admit, it took me off guard as well, but I quickly pieced all the evidence together in my mind. “It’s not a disease, Rainbow,” I told her. Then I turned back toward Fluttershy and said, “It actually sounds more like PTSD.” “PTSD? Is that bad? Am I going to die?” I stifled a giggle. “No Fluttershy, you’re not going to die. I’m talking about post-traumatic stress disorder.” “Post-trauwhat now?” asked a very confused Rainbow Dash. I opened my mouth to explain, but Fluttershy beat me to it. “It means that I’m, uh… suffering some mental problems, because of what happened.” She looked at me for a sign of approval, so I gave her a nod. She nodded back and turned to Rainbow, who was still trying to process the information. If only her brain was as fast as her wings… okay, that was kind of mean. “Wait,” she finally responded. “So, you’re like, going crazy? Crazy in the head?” Oh Rainbow, you can be so oblivious to a pony’s feelings sometimes. Thankfully, Fluttershy didn’t seem offended, but I felt the need to say something anyway. “No, Rainbow,” I told her with a glare. “She’s been affected psychologically, yes, but she’s not going insane. And with a little time and treatment, she’ll be back to her normal self,” I added, giving Fluttershy a reassuring smile. Her expression showed a mix of confidence and confusion, but she managed to return my smile. “Well that’s good,” she said quietly, “because these visions have been bothering me a lot lately.” “Please, tell me a little more about these visions,” I requested, picking up my pen with my horn. “Well, if you don’t mind, that is. I don’t want to make you if you feel uncomfortable.” Her small smile remained. “No, I don’t mind, Twilight. Especially if it helps me recover.” She cleared her throat. “Well, most of them are just flashbacks to that day, that moment… when I knew I could have saved them…” I was afraid she would start crying again, but was surprised to see her compose herself fairly quickly, and she continued. “But sometimes, I’ll have other visions of even worse things happening… similar, but worse.” She shook her head violently, trying to wrestle some grim thoughts away. I gave her a compassionate look but said nothing, and jotted down a few notes. So much for today being happy-go-lucky. When I looked back up, Fluttershy was standing up. “Hey, you goin’ somewhere, Shy?” Rainbow asked. “Yes Rainbow. I’m sorry, Twilight, but I don’t really want to talk about it anymore. I’ll just get out of your hair.” She turned toward the front door. “Hey Fluttershy, wait up,” I said, also rising to my hooves. “No, really, it’s fine. I’ll just be going now.” “Fluttershy.” “I’ll just take a walk or someth—“ “Fluttershy!” Rainbow and I yelled in unison. Fluttershy jumped and squealed in surprise, nearly knocking her head into the wall. “Um… yes, girls?” “This is your house,” I reminded her slowly. “Oh…” she said quietly. She seemed mentally absent. Then she snapped back. “Oh! Right. That’s right,” she said with a nervous giggle. Rainbow and I both gave her concerned looks. “Sorry, girls,” she said bashfully, looking down at the floor. “I’m not feeling quite myself.” “Well you’re not yourself,” Rainbow said. “It’s okay, Fluttershy,” I said simultaneously. I glared at her and she shrugged back. Turning back to Fluttershy, I said, “We’re just worried about you is all. How about we leave you alone for now, and you feel free to come find me if you need anything at all.” I gave her the brightest smile I could. “Me too, Shy. I’m here for ya,” Rainbow offered with a friendly wink. Fluttershy looked happier than I’d seen her all day, or maybe all week. Now that I think about it, she has been acting a little off the past few days… “Thank you so much, girls!” she gushed, and gave each of us a quick hug. “I promise I’ll come find somepony if I start feeling worse.” “Well hopefully you won’t have to, but we’d be happy to help,” I said. “See you later!” We all said our farewells as Rainbow Dash and I stepped back out into the afternoon sun. I felt as if it should be gloomier outside now, after discovering such a horrible truth. Oh, I sure hope she’s going to be okay. Rainbow interrupted my internal distress. “Well, what do we do now?” she said with a hint of sadness. “Hey,” I said softly as I gave her a reassuring nudge. “She’s going to be alright, don’t you worry.” But I only wish I was actually that confident in my own mind. Stuff like this always tends to keep my brain occupied, to where I can’t concentrate on anything else, or even sleep. I just hope it’ll all be over soon. We walked the rest of the way in silence. Rainbow walked right alongside me, and I could tell she was still deeply worried; normally she’d be a yard or two off the ground rather than on her hooves. I didn’t really know or care where I was headed, as my mind was fixed on other things, but my subconscious eventually led us through the center of town and back toward the library. I noticed a few ponies giving Rainbow and I concerned looks and guessed that they sensed something wrong; however, I was in no mood to stop and explain, or really talk to anypony at all. My whole mind was fixed on Fluttershy, and how I might be able to help her. When we reached the library’s front door, Rainbow Dash broke the silence to tell me that she was going to head home. I nodded and said something but I don’t remember what, and she took off. A bit slower than usual, I noticed. I watched her for a few seconds before turning around and heading inside. --- “Ughhhh, what a stupid day,” I lamented, carelessly throwing myself on my bed and burying my face in my pillow. “You told me you were going to be fun, day!” “Uhh, Twilight… who are you talking to?” said a rightfully curious and disturbed baby dragon as he stuck his head in the bedroom door. I was too mentally preoccupied to be embarrassed of my outburst. “Just… don’t worry about it Spike. There’s no point in draggin’ you into this mess.” I let out a small chuckle. “Heh. Draggin’ the dragon.” Spike rolled his eyes. “Well, what mess? You wanna talk about it?” he asked sincerely. His kindness forced a smile onto my face and I sat up. “It’s about Fluttershy. Basically, she saw something… bad, and now it’s…” I struggled to find a way to tell him in a way that he would understand, but without making it sound horrible. “It’s kind of messing with her brain,” I decided to say. “And she can’t stop thinking about it. You get it?” “Oh, you mean like PTSD?” Spike said with a low whistle. “Sounds rough. You think she’ll be alright?” I was quite taken aback by Spike’s insight. “Yeah, I didn’t think you knew what it was,” I admitted. He puffed out his chest slightly. “I read about psychological disorders once when you were in Canterlot.” Then he slouched a little and added, “I was pretty bored.” “Well, books are definitely a good cure for boredom,” I told him with a smile. The young dragon scoffed and said, “No, I meant I got bored while reading the book.” I shot him a mock glare and he returned it with a self-righteous smirk. “Anyway,” I said slowly, bringing the conversation back to focus, “she’ll probably be alright after a little while. It’s nothing you really need to worry about.” “But you seem to be worrying about it quite a bit,” Spike pointed out, concern etched on his face. I let out a deep sigh, as if I’d been holding it all day. I sort of was. Then I turned back to Spike and said, “Well part of it was just me whining about having my good day ruined by somepony else’s problems.” I looked down at the floor and added, “Now I feel like a jerk.” Spike took a few steps closer and stood by my bedside. He paused in thought, and then said, “Well that’s only normal, really. Nopony expects you to be totally selfless all the time.” “I know, Spike, but here I am worrying about my own stupid day while Fluttershy has been haunted by scary visions and fainting spells for the past week. It makes me feel terrible.” I jumped out of bed with new resolve. “I have to do something to help her!” “Well that book I read mentioned a support group or something…” Of course! I grabbed Spike by his shoulders and grinned excitedly. “That’s it! She just needs some counseling is all. And counseling is what I do best,” I said, letting go of my scaly assistant. “Yeah,” he muttered, “besides freaking out.” “Yeah yeah,” I said with mock annoyance, waving my hoof at him. To be honest, the conversation with Spike had been making me feel a lot better, sarcastic quips and all. Maybe there’s something I can do after all… --- Skip ahead to later that evening. I would have gone over to Fluttershy’s house right then, but I had a strong feeling that she wanted to be alone for a while, after the way she tried to leave her own house just to be by herself. So instead I had waited until after dinnertime and set out toward her cottage, at a much more casual pace than earlier. Despite Celestia’s sun having mostly set to make way for Luna’s night, the late winter air was still fairly warm. It’s unusual for it to be this warm so early in the year, I thought to myself, and then shrugged. I’m certainly enjoying it though. Maybe this is finally my chance to have a nice, peaceful— “Hiya, Twilight!” called out a shrill and cheerful voice. “Gah!” I shouted in surprise and flinched. Pausing only a second for my mind to put a name to the voice, I said, “Pinkie Pie, don’t scare me like that!” I heard a playful giggle, but couldn’t find its source in only the light of the setting sun. “Sorry, Twilight. I was just so excited to see you! We don’t hang out as much as we used to.” She let just a hint of melancholy creep into her voice on the last sentence. “Sorry, Pinkie, I’ve just had my hooves full with a lot of crazy stuff lately, and…” I turned my head first to the right, then to the left, searching my surroundings briefly. “You know, it’s a lot easier to talk to you if I can actually see you.” More giggling. “Don’t be silly Twilight; I’m right here!” she chirped. I could hear her usual huge grin in her happy voice. “Uh… right where?” I scanned the immediate area once more and then shrugged. “Up here!” Up? I lifted my gaze upward and almost jumped in surprise when I saw the pink pony sitting on a tree branch a few yards above my head. Except she wasn’t exactly sitting; she was… perched on it, like a bird. I spoke my mind: “What the hay are you doing up there?” If it was anypony else, I’d be worried that she would fall and get hurt, but Pinkie has a knack for getting out of (and into) ridiculous situations. Instead I was just confused. “I’m owling, duh!” came my answer. Before I could blurt out one of the many questions I had, she continued, “I’ve always thought that owls are so cool, just sitting up there in the night like ‘yeah, I’m an owl, deal with it.’ So I thought, ‘maybe if I find a nice perch, I can feel like the queen of the world, just like an owl!’ So I found this really nice tree with a thick branch on it and decided to climb up and perch, and I was right! This is amazing!” She yelled the last word and I heard it echo through the dark sky. I wasn’t really sure what to think of all that owl business (seriously, random much?), so I just refocused my mind on my mission. “Look, Pinkie, it’s really nice to see you and all,” I said as pleasantly as I could, looking up at her and forcing a smile, “but I’ve gotta get to Fluttershy’s place so I can talk to her about… yeah, so I can talk to her,” I finished lamely. It’s probably better not to get Pinkie involved. I love her, but she either won’t understand or won’t take it seriously. “Ooh!” In one smooth motion, Pinkie dropped her hind legs off the branch behind her, swung off the branch with her front hooves, did two graceful backflips through the air, and landed without so much as a grunt or a scratch right beside me. It was really quite amazing, but I guess I’ve gotten used to her doing crazy and/or improbable things. She turned and looked at me with her big blue eyes. “I haven’t seen her in forever either!” she gushed. “Can I come? It’ll be like a Pinkie-Hasn’t-Seen-You-Girls-in-Forever reunion party!” She started to bounce in place, eye contact and smile unwavering. “Uhhhh… actually, it’s kind of more of a private thing,” I told her, trying my best to sound apologetic. I really was apologetic, but I wanted to make sure she knew it. Pinkie’s constant smile faltered, and she stopped bouncing. Her frown wasn’t a frown of sadness, though; it was a frown of… worry? My speculations proved true when she said, “Is… is Fluttershy okay? Is something wrong?” I quickly threw on a bad fake smile and stammered, “N-no, nothing’s wrong! We just have some personal stuff to…” I trailed off when I noticed Pinkie glaring at me skeptically. I sighed heavily. “Okay, fine. I didn’t want to worry you with it, but Fluttershy’s been going through some… mental trauma lately. I was about to go speak with her about getting help.” Now Pinkie’s frown really was a sad one. “What? Mental trauma? Did some stupid meanie pony bully her?” Her eyes flashed with sudden anger, but only for a moment. I sighed again, and said, “No, she witnessed… something sad and shocking. I don’t want to go into much detail without her permission, so if she wants you to know, I’ll let her tell you herself.” Since I’m sure you’re going to insist on joining us now. The energetic ball of pink started bouncing again, this time with determination instead of glee, and she said, “Well of course I’m going to insist on joining you! I have to help cheer up Fluttershy!” Wait, what? I didn’t say that out loud, did I? I opened my mouth but no words came out, and Pinkie winked at me. Ugh, never mind. I have time to be confused by Pinkie’s antics later. I shook my head to help clear my thoughts, and turned back to Pinkie. “Alright,” I conceded. “If anypony can cheer up a pony, it’s you. Let’s go do some cheering up.” “Yay!” she squealed, and started bouncing off briskly down the path, myself following closely behind. Maybe this is actually just what Fluttershy needs. I allowed myself a warm smile as I walked. --- Knock, knock, knock. “You silly filly. That’s not how you knock!” Knockknockknockknockknockknockknockknock. I couldn’t help but giggle as I watched Pinkie Pie show me the ‘right’ way to knock on somepony’s door: with her head. We had just arrived at Fluttershy’s abode, and the sun was now completely below the horizon as the nearly full moon reflected its light and illuminated the night sky. To my disappointment, the temperature had also dropped several degrees; I was enjoying the warm weather quite a lot. Pinkie and I waited for an answer, knocked some more, and waited some more, until we realized that we had been waiting for about three solid minutes. The pink earth pony leaned toward a window. “I don’t see any lights on,” she pointed out. “Maybe she’s not here.” I brought a hoof to my chin in a thoughtful pose and wondered aloud, “Why would Fluttershy be out at this hour? She rarely goes out at night. And isn’t her bunny sick? I’d expect her to be in there taking care of him.” Did something happen to her? Maybe she just had another fainting spell. But then why would the lights be off? Hmmmm… I could tell Pinkie was starting to get worried as well, but being the persistent optimist, she suggested, “Maybe she just had to go get some medicine, or food.” She smiled a small smile. I took a deep breath and then returned her smile. “You’re right, Pinkie,” I said. “We can’t automatically assume the worst. For all we know, she could be out partying or something!” I finished with a chuckle. Pinkie took in an exaggerated gasp. “Partying, without ME?! That’s not fair! Why wasn’t I invited? Why wasn’t I throwing it?!” She put on a mock hurt expression. I smiled and said, “Tell you what: you help me find Fluttershy, and I’ll let you use the library for a ‘Get Well Party’ for her. Sound good?” I knew Fluttershy wasn’t exactly into social gatherings as much as some ponies, but I figured that would satisfy Pinkie for the time being and get her to help me. Finding Fluttershy and helping her through her mental illness was the priority here, after all. “Oh boy, really?” squealed Pinkie, beginning to bounce in place. “That would be amazing! We could do it all up in yellow and pink, and have butterfly balloons, and butterfly party favors, and actual butterflies, and—“ “Shh!” I cut her off suddenly and motioned for her to stay quiet. I swear I just heard something… there it is again! It sounded like… a moan? Could it be… “Fluttershy?” “Huh… wha?” came the very faint response. “Twilight?” “The backyard!” exclaimed Pinkie, running around the side of the house. I followed right behind her and arrived at an interesting scene: Fluttershy was lying on her side in the grass, and her bunny Angel was standing impatiently on top of her. The yellow pegasus looked fine; maybe a little weak, but unharmed. What had happened was pretty obvious. “Fluttershy! Did Angel just beat you in a wrestling match?” asked Pinkie Pie with wide eyes. “For such a little guy, he has some serious upper arm strength!” I buried my face in a hoof and shook my head. “No, Pinkie, they weren’t wrestling. Fluttershy blacked out again.” I turned to the latter and asked, “Are you alright?” “I’m afraid you’re right, Twilight,” responded Fluttershy as she slowly stood up and brushed herself off. “And I’m fine, thank you. But I remember… having another of those horrible vision things just before fading out.” “It’s starting to sound like the flashbacks trigger the blackouts,” I thought aloud. “If we can stop these visions from coming back, you’ll be rid of both problems at once, and hopefully have your normal life back.” Fluttershy hung her head. “But how do I do that?” she asked timidly from behind her mane. “Ooh, ooh, I have an idea!” Pinkie piped up. I ignored her for the time being, remembering what Spike had brought up at home. “Well, I was thinking you could use some counseling,” I offered. “I’m very qualified and can try to help you one on one, or we can try a group thing with a few of us. How does that sound?” Fluttershy looked down at the ground and considered what I said briefly. Then she looked at me and said, “Well, alright. If that’s what it takes, I trust you. But I think I would prefer one on one… that is, if you don’t mind, of course. I know you have a busy schedule,” she added, looking away. “Of course I don’t mind!” I assured her, backing up my words with a warm smile and my hoof on her shoulder. “Besides, my schedule has been anything but busy lately.” That was actually true; I’d found myself getting bored many a time over the past couple weeks. Fluttershy returned my smile and said, “If you say so. Can we start tomorrow morning?” “Can I do anything to help?” asked Pinkie excitedly from across the yard. She had been trying to climb a bulky tree while I discussed treatment with Fluttershy, but couldn’t get her hooves far enough around the trunk and eventually gave up. “Oh, Pinkie Pie,” said Fluttershy warmly, “just seeing you tonight has already put me in much better spirits. I think Twilight can take it from here.” She turned her smile back to me. “Thanks, Pinkie,” I added, “but you don’t have to worry about it. She’ll be better in no time!” Disappointment flashed across Pinkie’s face, but she managed to maintain a small smile. “Oh… okay,” she said quietly. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” And with that, she slipped out of the clearing, stepped around the corner of the house and was gone. “Well that was a little weird,” I mused. Fluttershy shrugged and looked concerned, but said nothing. Silence reigned for thirty seconds or so, until I said, “But yeah. I can do tomorrow.” “Oh… okay then. Thanks so much for your help, Twilight,” she said, giving me a warm hug. I returned her embrace, my mind buzzing with activity all the while. I hope this will help you, Fluttershy. I hope you feel better… --- I smiled brightly as I walked through the peaceful meadow. Another warm and sunny day! Hooray! A very small and distant part of me asked why I was so cheerful, but I quickly pushed it aside. Why question it? I’d just embrace it. It was a nice feeling. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was or where I was going, but that didn’t matter. Everything seemed just right. There were no trees anywhere, nor were there buildings, water formations, or… well, anything. Just grass and more grass. It’s such a nice day. I feel like nothing can go wrong! After a few more seconds of casual trotting (or was it hours? I couldn’t really tell), I finally saw the first and only landmark under those eerily clear skies. It was a fallen tree, but its appearance seemed vague to me, as if I only saw some colored blurs in sort of the same shape as a fallen tree. I came closer, not questioning the scene before me, and stood in place for a few moments. What was I even doing here? This place is nice. What a nice day. I didn’t hear, feel, or see anything, but I suddenly was aware of something behind me, so I turned around casually. “Hello, Twilight,” Fluttershy greeted me with her usual soft smile. Why did her voice seem so distant? Oh well. “Can we get started now?” I don’t remember saying anything, but for some reason she was aware of my approval, and she lay down on a bench that I hadn’t seen until just then. Lying on her back, she looked up at me with wide eyes and asked, “Am I going insane?” Still feeling generally happy about nothing in particular, I smiled and responded, saying something to the effect of, “Of course not! You’re just a little sick in the noggin is all.” Suddenly, Fluttershy jerked up to a sitting position, and a disturbing grin formed on her face. “I beg to differ,” she growled. For just a second, I wasn’t fazed in the slightest by her completely uncharacteristic behavior. Then everything clicked in my mind. The inexplicable giddiness I had was gone in an instant. “What is going on here?” I thought aloud in an increasingly desperate tone. “Where are we? Where is anything?” Wow, how did I not see how creepy this place is? Something tells me I need to leave, and fast. But how? My surroundings seemed to take on a moderately darker tone. My normally timid pegasus friend (or some demonic version of her) suddenly produced a knife and started licking the blade. “Oooookay, Fluttershy, um… I’m going to leave now,” I managed, backing away slowly. My eyes darted between the deranged pony and the collapsed tree, which now was propped up a bit by a massive pile of dead squirrel bodies. Well that certainly wasn’t there before… was it? I shook off my confusion and continued putting distance between Fluttershy and myself. And then she lunged. --- “AUGH! NO!” Wait, what? Where am I now? Why is everything dark? What happened to the… oh. Thank Celestia, it was just a dream. Sure enough, I found myself sitting up safe in my own bed. My heart and mind were still racing, but slowing down steadily. I could feel my sweat on the bed sheets as I breathed in and out quickly. Calm down, Twilight. Bad dream’s over. Nopony’s hurt. But wait… if I yelled out like that in the real world, then… I slowly turned my head to see the faint outline of Spike just beginning to sit up in his basket. He looked at me with his tired eyes half-lidded and mumbled, “What’s wrong, Twilight?” His tone carried a hint of both genuine concern and mild annoyance. I looked down at my bedding. “Nothing, Spike,” I assured him. “It was just a weird dream.” But the young dragon read me like a book, as he often does. He sat in silence for about a full minute and then guessed, “It was about Fluttershy, wasn’t it?” “Yeah,” I said, sighing deeply. “Yeah it was.” There wasn’t really any point in lying to him about it, and if there was, I was too tired to think of it. “I don’t see why you’re worrying so much about it.” Spike’s voice was a little clearer now, and he shifted under his blanket as he spoke. “I mean, besides the fact that you worry too much about everything.” “Oh, shut it,” I retorted. “I’m just… I don’t know. I really like Fluttershy, and she’s so fragile. I’m just afraid it might be too much for her to handle, you know?” Unexpected tears started to form in my eyes. Spike laid his head back down. “She can take it,” he assured me. “You and I both know that she can be tough when she needs to be. Why not this time?” As much reason as I thought I had to worry, I couldn’t argue with Spike’s words, so I just kept my mouth shut. I should know that better than he does, after seeing her up against a fully-grown dragon, a determined cockatrice, an angry bear… Feeling a bit better about the whole debacle, I lay back down onto my soft, welcoming pillow and slowly drifted off to sleep, this time excluding the strange nightmares. --- For the third time in 24 hours, I crested the hill on the path leading to Fluttershy’s abode, the roof of it just coming into view. The heat of the day before was only a memory now; it was now at least ten degrees cooler, I’d say. Maybe more. I already missed the warmth. This time I brought with me a quill, plenty of ink and paper, a reference guide to social disorders, and my trusty reading glasses. Ah, my glasses. As so lovingly put by Rainbow Dash one time, I “look even dorkier than usual” in them, but I don’t care. I actually have quite the history with those glasses from my days back in Canterlot… I won’t get into that right now, though. Knocking on Fluttershy’s front door, I half expected there to be no response from within; she didn’t exactly have a great track record for answering doors over the past day. My worries were swiftly put to an end by the pink-maned pegasus herself as she slowly cracked the door open. “Oh, hello Twilight,” she greeted with recognition. A warm smile adorned her pretty yellow face. Well, at least she seems happy for the moment. I returned her greeting with a friendly nod and asked, “Are you ready to get started?” To be honest, I was probably as excited as she was, and I’m not the one whose mental disorder we were fixing. I just really like problem solving. And therapy. “Sure,” she said, stepping into her simple living room. “Would you like something to drink?” “No thanks.” I did my best to give her a comforting smile as she sat down on one side of the room. I quietly occupied the seat opposite her. “Is there anything specific you’d like to say before we start? Have you been okay since last night?” “Oh yes, everything is fine,” she forced out quickly. But then she lowered her gaze and whispered, “Well, there was a little incident this morning.” An incident? “I’m listening.” Pen and paper ready. Still looking at the floor, Fluttershy began to explain. “Earlier this morning, Angel wouldn’t eat his breakfast. I kept trying and trying to get him to eat, reminding him that it’s the most important meal of the day and that I want him to be a strong and healthy bunny. But every time, he would just turn away from me.” She took a deep breath and continued. “Eventually, I… something in me snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore, and in my frustration I overreacted and went crazy!” I was taken aback. I’d heard of erratic behavior as a symptom of PTSD, but imagining Fluttershy flipping her lid was difficult to say the least. When she didn’t say anything more, I asked, “What did you do, exactly? Do you remember?” “Yes,” choked Fluttershy. She was starting to cry. “I just… I just reared up and then bucked out as hard as I could at him… I didn’t mean to! I couldn’t control myself!” Now I really couldn’t believe my ears. “You… you kicked Angel as hard as you could?!” I exclaimed. “That’s awful!” Is he okay? Fluttershy is a lot bigger than a bunny… “I know!” came the muffled cry from the distraught pegasus, who was now burying her face in her hooves and sobbing uncontrollably. “And to think I could have almost given him a bruise!” “Just please try to calm d- …wait. You didn’t even give him a bruise?” She looked up at me. “I can’t buck very hard.” I tried to keep myself from rolling my eyes and failed. I let my heart rate come back down and then asked, “So then, not to be mean, but what’s the big deal?” She gave me a grave look. “Bruises or no bruises,” she pointed out, “lashing out at my animal friends is not something that I do in my right mind, ever.” “But what about that one time at the Gala?” “Um… I like to pretend that never happened.” I found myself chuckling and saying, “Amen to that, sister.” Fluttershy giggled along with me through her fading tears, and the two of us spent a few seconds remembering that fiasco of a night. Suddenly, Fluttershy’s face was serious again. “Uh, is it okay if we get started now?” she requested solemnly. “I just want this to be over as soon as possible.“ “Oh, of course, sorry.” Equipping my notepad and pen, I began to explain the treatment. “So here’s what we’re gonna do: we need to get you talking and thinking about the… incident, as openly and freely as possible. If you begin to express your feelings about what happened, it can help a lot to relieve you of your flashbacks, blackouts, erratic behavior, and any other symptoms you might be dealing with.” Upon seeing Fluttershy’s blank expression, I quickly added, “Do you follow?” “Well, yes, but…” She looked at the floor. “That sounds like it’ll be hard.” My heart shattered. At that moment, it occurred to me just how overwhelming Fluttershy’s whole situation must have been for her. And for such a fragile heart like hers… Poor thing… Of course she’s not going to want to relive it! I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. “Listen,” I told her as soothingly as I could, “I know it’s going to be hard. I can barely even imagine what you’re going through right now. But if we don’t get your feelings and thoughts out in the open, it’s going to take a lot longer for you to get it all behind you. That’s what you want, right?” It wasn’t until after I stopped speaking that I realized I had nearly started crying. Fluttershy continued to stare at the floor without responding for several seconds. Then she lifted her head and looked me dead in the eye. “More than anything,” she whispered. “Let’s do this.” Way to be strong, Fluttershy. I gave a small smile in appreciation of her determination and began in earnest. “Well, let’s start with a basic recap. Give me a simple summary of what happened that day, and then we’ll get into your thoughts on it.” “Okay.” Deep breath. “Okay, Fluttershy, you can do this,” she said quietly, trying to embolden herself. “Well, like I said yesterday, I was just outside in the yard with Angel and the squirrels. It was such a beautiful day; it felt like… nothing could go wrong.” She paused and sniffled. “But t-then… I looked up, and saw the tree start to fall, and-“ She cut herself off with a quick gasp. Don’t panic. Stay calm. “Are you okay, Fluttershy?” I said quickly. “You’re doing great so far.” The suddenly terrified mare’s eyes darted back and forth. “No…” she whispered, frantically looking for an escape. “NO!” I involuntarily slammed my eyes shut as her abrupt scream seemed to pierce through my skull. “Please, Fluttershy, just try to calm down,” I urged, nearly beginning to panic myself. My request was in vain; she was totally losing it. She had jumped out of her seat now and began incoherently rambling, as if she was speaking another language. Then she lunged at a nearly lamp, tackling it to the ground before I could even think to react. Finally gaining some grasp of the situation, I snapped into action and pulled Fluttershy back with my magic. I was expecting her to struggle, but she didn’t. Instead she hung limp and faintly muttered, “I was too late… I’m so sorry…” And then she lost consciousness. “Uhhhhh…” To be honest, I wasn’t sure what the hay to do at that moment. Should I take her to the hospital? No, I’d rather treat her myself. I know what she needs. But I’d feel bad just leaving her here like this. I guess I should wait for her to wake up… --- “…And then about an hour later, you came to,” I finished. Yup. I had spent an hour by Fluttershy’s comatose side, with little to do but write out scientific formulas from memory on my spare sheets of paper, and have staring contests with Angel (I didn’t win a single one; he’s learned from the Stare Master herself, after all). But I’m not complaining. In a way, I’d started to feel a connection with the shy mare through the whole mess, and I was glad. We hadn’t been as close as we could have been. This was my chance to turn that around. Back to the matter at hoof, though. The sun shone high in the midday sky, watching over Fluttershy and me as we made our way into the center of town. Shortly after Fluttershy had recovered from her faint, one of the first things she mentioned is that she was exceptionally hungry, so I decided I would take her out to lunch and explain what she didn’t remember from earlier on the way to town. “Oh my,” she responded after hearing my retelling of events. “I’m so sorry for being so much trouble, Twilight. This all must be a real burden for you.” Now, I’ve known Fluttershy for about a year and a half, and some things about her character still outright baffle me. In this instance, I was literally taken aback by her selflessness. She’s gone through her own personal hell this week, and she’s worried about being a burden on ME? But I didn’t say that. All I could think to say was, “Nonono, of course not! I’m just glad to see that you’re okay for now. I would have felt awful just leaving you there by yourself.” She didn’t say a word in response; instead she gave me a heartfelt smile and a warm nuzzle. Such a simple sign of friendly affection, but it meant a lot to me. I returned her smile with a grin of my own, albeit an awkward one. As we reached the center of town, I casually scanned the hubbub of ponies for anypony I recognized. My eyes snapped to a white and purple figure waving at me from across the square; upon recognizing it as Rarity, I returned a friendly wave and a smile, and she turned and went about her business. “Well that’s kind of sad,” chirped a sudden voice from behind me. I whipped my head around to see Pinkie Pie standing behind Fluttershy and me with a contemplative frown on her face. “Uhh… what’s sad?” I asked in honest confusion. “Rarity. It must feel bad not to have a speaking role,” she replied with a serious expression. “A spea- what does that even- …you know what, never mind.” Why do I even bother trying to understand Pinkie. The pink pony was suddenly all giggles and smiles again. “You’re a silly filly sometimes, Twilight. Aaaaaanyway, how did the treatment go? Are you all better, Fluttershy?” she asked, turning to the pegasus in question. Fluttershy drooped her head and shook it slowly. “It, uh… didn’t go over well, to say the least.” “We may have to try a different approach,” I clarified. “Turns out that Fluttershy’s brain and Fluttershy’s bad memories don’t want to get along.” Pinkie’s puffy mane drooped slightly. “Aww, I’m sorry.” Then she bounced and exclaimed, “Ooh! Wait! I have an idea!” “Pinkie,” I said with mild sternness, “no offense, but I don’t think you’re really qualified to handle something like this.” Fluttershy weakly raised a hoof in protest, but I, being the stubborn mule that I often am, pushed it back down. “I think it’s best if I work it out myself.” “Oh… well if you say so,” pouted Pinkie, turning away. “C-can she at least join us for lunch?” begged Fluttershy, with a face that I can almost never say no to. “I could really use some cheering up.” Eh, I guess I could use some of that too. I shrugged and smiled. “Sure, why not?” This seemed to improve Pinkie’s mood, but she replied, “No can do, girls! I’m out picking up some ingredients for the Cakes. And I haven’t even gotten to the motor oil yet!” Fluttershy and I exchanged glances. “…Motor oil?” we mouthed in unison. Pinkie saluted and began to trot away committedly, and then turned back with her usual bright smile on. “Thanks for the offer though,” she gushed. And then she was lost in the crowd. I sighed, but not for any particular reason. Maybe it was for a lot of reasons. I don’t really know. Gathering my thoughts, I turned toward Fluttershy. “Let’s get some lunch then, shall we?” --- The familiar musty smell of old books lingered around me as I paced back and forth, deep in thought. There were a hoofful of other ponies occupying the ground floor of the library with me, browsing the extensive collection of volumes on display. But I didn’t care. Something about the atmosphere of the open room, so full of knowledge and literature, helps me think clearly and quickly. And thinking is something I desperately needed to do at the moment. As soon as I had gotten back home from my lunch date with Fluttershy, I began researching and pondering different tactics concerning her current plight. Traditional therapy was now out of the question; bringing memories of the incident fresh to her mind only made her have an episode, and she almost seemed to believe that it was actually happening again, right then and there. This was the point at which I began to lose the confidence I had had when I first took on the challenge of nursing Fluttershy’s traumatized brain back to health. Having to start from square one is not an encouraging feeling, and it was taking a toll on my composure. I started to worry. Not that fleeting, irrational kind of worry that one can simply put off until it fades on its own. Rather, it was a deeper worry, to the point of pure fright, even. What if there’s nothing I can do about it? I began to think to myself. What if she’s going to be stuck like this forever? I could hardly bear the thought of the fragile pegasus living the rest of her life in a state of periodic fear and misery, and to the best of my ability I pushed the horrid thoughts out of my head and continued pacing. “That’s totally irrational, Twilight,” I admonished myself aloud, as if speaking the words would help me believe them. “You just need a plan B is all, and there are so many to choose from! Like… uhhh, like… oh, I don’t know!” I flopped myself onto the wood floor in despair, caring about neither the pain of the impact nor the scene I may have caused if anypony had been watching. A minute or two passed, and then I felt an unexpected hoof on my shoulder. Jerking my head up, I got a face full of multicolored hair, some of which somehow managed to make its way inside my mouth. I spat and waved in mild confusion for a moment before Rainbow Dash (whose hair it indeed was) took the hint and stepped backward. “Uh, aheheh, sorry,” she said awkwardly, and then shrugged it off. “What are you doing on the floor, Twi?” I could tell she already had a vague idea of why she had found me face down on the library floor with my head in my hooves. “Take a guess,” I moped, still looking up at her. Rainbow turned away for a moment, and then turned back and met my eyes. “Listen, I really think you’re worrying about this more than you should. But… if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll do whatever I can to help.” “Thank you, Rainbow,” I said sincerely as I stood up and brushed off a little. “And I know that I can get a little carried away with worry sometimes. But I just wish I could do something to help Fluttershy. Anything!” “Well you could try the fast and easy Dash-approved method of recovery,” said the cyan pegasus with a smirk. I tilted my head. Forgive me if I’m a little skeptical. “And what’s that?” “Well, what do you do when you’re sick in any other way?” “Uh… get plenty of rest?” I reasoned. “No, the other thing you do when you’re sick!” She motioned inside her own mouth with her hoof. “…Throw up?” “NO! Take medicine! Her brain is just sick, right? There are meds for that sort of thing. For psy… psycho… psychological stuff. Like, I remember when I use to take…” she suddenly fell silent. “Antidepressants?” I guessed. Rainbow narrowed her eyes. “How did you know that?” I chuckled warmly. “Oh Rainbow Dash, you just seem like the type of pony who was once the depressed teen, growing up in a dull home and suppressing all the anger you had toward nothing in particular, only to snap out of it a few years later.” I coughed and added, “No offense or anything.” Thankfully she didn’t seem put off by my guesswork analysis. Instead she smirked and said, “You’re pretty good at reading ponies, Twilight. Although my teen years weren’t what you’d quite call boring.” A mischievous glint flashed in her eyes. “Right,” I muttered, and then refocused. “Anyway, I’m not sure if medication is the right way to handle this. Even if it works, it’s more of a temporary solution to fight symptoms. As soon as she stops taking it, the flashbacks, restlessness, and irritability we’ve seen in her will come back in full force.” “That’s better than nothing though, right? At least we can help her stop feeling miserable all the time.” Rainbow has a point. I turned and walked slowly toward the other side of the library, weighing my options. Well, if it doesn’t work all that well, I can at least use it to keep her sane while I find a better solution. Having made my decision, I stopped halfway and stepped over to Rainbow. “Alright, Rainbow… let’s try it.” She winked at me and smiled. “That’s the spirit!” --- I still wasn’t sure about this whole antidepressant idea; Rainbow Dash seems to swear by them, but I have a hunch that she just grew out of her woes like most teenagers so often do. But here we were again the next day, at the front door of that all too familiar cottage at the edge of town. I wanted to go right away and bring some medication to Fluttershy as soon as possible, but Rainbow suggested giving her the rest of the day to herself without me “popping in and out,” and I reluctantly agreed. This day in particular was a bit gloomier than the past few, although I couldn’t tell you which day of the week it was (I forget the simplest things sometimes when I’m focusing on a task). Rainbow and I, with antidepressants in tow, picked up on the sound of cheerful humming coming from the backyard of Fluttershy’s place. We rounded the corner and found the house’s and voice’s owner with her back turned toward us; she seemed to be doing some gardening. “Well, she looks pretty normal at the moment,” whispered Rainbow. “But who the hay would spend time gardening on such a bleak day?” “Hey, whatever makes her happy,” I told her. Upon hearing our footsteps as we drew nearer, Fluttershy turned around to greet us. Some horrible part of me expected to see her face twisted into some sort of demented grin, but she was wearing her usual soft smile and looked perfectly fine. “Hello, Twilight. Hello, Rainbow Dash,” she greeted each of us. “What brings you here?” “We, uh…” I stumbled over my words and closed the saddlebag of medication that I had begun to open. Maybe she doesn’t need them? “We just wanted to see how you’re doing.” “Yeah!” added Rainbow. “And we brought some awesome meds for you to try… out…” She trailed off coyly upon noticing the glare on my face. Fluttershy frowned. “Medicine? Like what kind?” I sighed deeply and muttered, “Antidepressants. Rainbow’s idea.” The cyan pony in question made quite a show of staring at nothing in particular over to her right side. “Antidepressants,” repeated Fluttershy. “I, um… don’t think that’s a good idea.” “I didn’t think so either, but if they work, they might get rid of your nightmares, boost your confidence, and generally act less weird. That’s better than nothing, right?” I added, using Rainbow’s words from the day before. “B-but… there are so many side effects that I don’t think I could handle!” squeaked Fluttershy, shrinking into her pink mane a little. “I appreciate the thought, but… there has to be a better way than that… right?” I was secretly relieved by her rejection; after all, she was right. There are better ways to deal with this. I just don’t know what they are yet. Turning quickly to Rainbow Dash, I blurted, “See? She doesn’t want to do it. Let’s just both go home and think of something else.” “Nonsense!” shouted Rainbow. She suddenly reached over into my saddlebag and snatched out the box of pills, putting on a mischievous smirk. “We just gotta… encourage her a little!” “Encourage her? What are you—“ Click. “No, no, definitely not. We are not about to force Fluttershy to take pills. If she doesn’t want to take them, she’s not going to take them,” I explained sternly. Fluttershy took a step back. “F-force me?” “Sheesh, lighten up. I was just kidding around,” shrugged Rainbow. She put a hoof to her chin thoughtfully and added, “Although I could—“ “Quit it. You’re scaring her,” I said flatly and gestured toward Fluttershy. Sure enough, she was beginning to shake visibly and shrunk back even further. “We’re not going through with this and that’s that.” “Alright, alright, Twilight. I get it,” conceded Rainbow with an annoyed tone. And then suddenly she turned and was off, shooting like a star across the sky. Except with more rainbows. And visible in the daylight. Okay, so maybe that was a bad analogy. Inaccurate comparisons aside, Rainbow’s unexpected departure left Fluttershy and me standing alone outside the quaint cottage. I looked back down and opened my mouth to say something stupidly obvious about Rainbow leaving in a hurry, but then shut it again when I saw the shy mare still focused on the rainbow blur now a great distance away. “She took the antidepressants with her,” she stated simply. Uh oh. “Uhhh, yep, looks like she did, heh heh. Probably just a mistake,” I said lamely. Fluttershy turned to me with concern in her eyes. “I wonder if she still… struggles. With that.” I didn’t really feel comfortable discussing another mare’s personal troubles behind her back, so I played dumb and shrugged, searching my mind for an excuse to leave. To go do what, though? Fruitlessly pace the floor some more without finding any answers? It was frustrating, not being able to do something right then and there. Being defeated by the problem is (in my opinion) one of the worst feelings in the world, and this whole dilemma with Fluttershy has defeated me at every turn. I just want to DO something… “Listen, Fluttershy,” I forced myself to say after a few moments of silence. She seemed to break out of a trance when she heard me, shaking her head quickly and then looking into my eyes expectantly. I continued, “It just… it really breaks my heart to see you struggling with… ugh, just this whole mess. You’re going through a lot and I’m trying my best to help, and it’s just not working.” Engaging ramble mode. “I wish there was something that I could just do and make this all go away, and it’s killing me that no matter how hard I try, nothing works and you’re still suffering for it. So uh, just feel free to come to me anytime you need somepony, okay? It would make me feel a little better if I at least had that chance to help out.” I finished with a smile that probably looked stupid. But no sooner had I gotten the last word out than Fluttershy turned briskly around and started to… walk away? Well of all the reactions, I wasn’t expecting that one. I couldn’t even bring myself to go after her; I was part stunned by her choice of action, and part curious to see where she would go. Eventually she reached the border where her open backyard met the thin woods surrounding, and there she sat, head hung low and still facing away from me. Finally I managed to get my legs moving and stepped quietly over toward her. I tapped her on the shoulder without saying a word; asking ‘What’s wrong?’ would have seemed an obvious question, so instead I just kept my mouth shut. She turned her head slowly to look at me, and I could see fresh tears beginning to well up. Her eyes shook, as if it was all she could do not to look away in shame. She opened her mouth and took in a deep, quivering breath, and then spoke. “I’m not worth it.” It was all that I could do to hold back my own tears at that point. “Wh— of course you’re worth it, Fluttershy! You’re one of my closest friends! I just… why would you even say that?” “Because this has nothing to do with you, Twilight. You didn’t ask to be thrown in the middle of this mess, and yet you’re always here to help. I don’t deserve your help.” I rested my hoof on her shoulder and replied, “Helping is what friends do. Through thick and thin, we’re always here for each other. And besides, you’ve taught me all I that I know about sharing kindness, so if it wasn’t for you…” I trailed off and let her ponder on it for a moment. She stared at the ground in thought, eyes strangely wide and tears gone. Then a few minutes passed and my worry grew, until I couldn’t take the silence anymore. “Flutter—“ “EEP!” “Augh!” I reared up on instinct and nearly fell over backward. After I regained composure, I notice that Fluttershy was stifling a giggle. “Did you do that on purpose?” I asked in a mock annoyed tone. “Do what on purpose?” she replied innocently. “You’re the one getting all worked up, Twilight.” “I honestly can’t tell if you’re joking or not right now.” “Um… no, I’m not.” Now she just looked genuinely confused. “Uhhhh…” “What are you even doing here, Twilight? Um, not to be rude or anything. Just wondering,” she added coyly. That hit me like a falling brick, and not even Pinkie Sense could have prepared me for it. “You… don’t remember? We were just talking for the past fifteen minutes?” “Umm, well…” “It was a pretty serious conversation, too. Are you maybe having memory issues? What do you remember?” “Well let’s see,” she said, searching her brain for recent events. “I remember getting up this morning, and feeding the animals… everything else is kinda fuzzy.” “Hm. That’s not—“ “Oh wait! You came here with Rainbow Dash. And you offered me pills and I said no. And then… you said nice things to me. Is that where we are now?” I let out a sigh of relief and said, “Yeah, basically. And then you spaced out for a few minutes until I tried to say something and you shrieked. That’s what startled me.” “Oh,” breathed Fluttershy, followed by an extended “Ohhhhhhhhh” as realization and memory flooded back into her mind. “Is… is my brain broken?” I chuckled. “Well, it sure seems to be acting strangely lately. But don’t worry. I won’t give up until you’re all better!” “Aww, Twilight, you’re too sweet,” gushed Fluttershy, smiling and wrapping her hooves around my neck. I returned the gesture. Then she broke away and said, “But I think I better go check on Angel. He still hasn’t been feeling well.” “Oh. Alright then,” I replied. “I’ll leave you to it then. I did what I came here to do, and I’m glad you said no to the drugs; Rainbow Dash thought it was a lot of a better idea than I did.” Fluttershy nodded happily. “Well, I’ll see you later Twilight,” she said as she turned toward the house. I followed suit and started down the path back to town. “Oh, and Twilight,” she added softly. I turned my head and saw her sincere eyes meeting my own. “Thank you. For everything.” --- Dear Celestia, I thought to myself. This has been such a weird day. I definitely had a lot to think about on my walk back to he library. Fortunately the sky had cleared a bit since earlier, and rays of the much welcomed sun now pierced through cracks in the blanket of clouds above. I felt like I had every reason to feel defeated and gloomy, but for some reason I had a strange confidence: the kind of confidence that starts to fade when you think about it too much and question it, so I was trying my hardest just to push the entire situation to the back of my mind. I’ll just take it for what it is. Heh, easier said than done. I occupied my brain by humming a tune I hadn’t heard since before my reassignment to Ponyville, trying to place the parts I could remember and improvising the ones I couldn’t. Pretty soon I succeeded in immersing myself—so much so that I had stopped watching where I was walking and— “Oof! Oh! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t—“ “Twilight! Just the pony I need to see!” gushed a very pink pony who could not for the life of her stand still. I had walked straight into her backside while I was in my self-induced trance. “Oh… hey, Pinkie Pie,” I managed. I didn’t mean to sound glum, but thoughts of Pinkie led to thoughts of Pinkie’s involvement with Fluttershy, aaaaand horsefeathers, now I’m thinking about it again. Stupid brain. “Did you need something?” Straight to the point, Pinkie blurted, “I need to talk to you about Fluttershy.” Sigh. “I’m sorry, I really don’t want to talk about that whole mess right now,” I told her as politely as I could, which was about as polite as Trixie woken up from an afternoon nap. “But it’s important!” yelled Pinkie, bouncing and unfazed. “This isn’t the usual party planning parley, or cotton candy conversation, or silly singing spiel!” “Silly what?” “It’s super serious business, Twilight! I just want to help, pleeeeeease?” she begged with a pouty face. “Ugh. Well, I am back to square one, again. Again. I suppose you can’t make matters worse,” I mumbled reluctantly. She leapt a good six feet into the air in excitement. “Gosh, finally! I was wondering when you’d actually start listening to me. I told you I had an idea!” “Welp, lay it on me then, Pinkie. I haven’t got any of my own left.” “Just follow me then, and you’ll see it in action!” she chirped with a quick salute, and then bounded off in the direction I had just come from. “Pinkie!” I called. “I just left her house, if that’s where you’re going. Don’t you think we should, you know, give her a little time to herself?” The pink pony gasped sharply. “And leave those horrible thoughts and memories plenty of time to party in her brain and eat her soul and turn her into Nightmare Shy? As much as I loved the exploding rainbows and stuff from the whole Nightmare Moon thing, I will not stand for having our friend corrupted by the forces of evil!” She punctuated her conclusion by stomping a hoof. I raised an eyebrow. “She has a mental disorder, Pinkie. Not an evil killer virus.” Inwardly, I was actually excited to see that she cared about Fluttershy’s well being just as much as I do, but still, I was skeptical of this ‘idea’ of hers. “Close enough! Point is, we need to get her better so we can all be happy and party and rainbows and cupcakes and yay, and I know just how to do it.” Sighing in resignation (gosh I sigh a lot), I said, “Well lead on then, Pinkie.” It wasn’t long before we were back at Fluttershy’s home sweet cottage, and I swear I could see a trench wearing in the path that I’d taken so many times in the past few days. I really need to learn how to teleport more than a few yards. As poor of a mood as I was in, I couldn’t help but be impressed by Pinkie’s raw determination. It’s true that when she gets into something, she puts her whole heart into it, but the effect is redoubled when the situation involves a friend in need. If I hadn’t been so sour at the time, I could have learned a lot from her right then, instead of only noticing after recalling the whole debacle weeks later. At any rate, I found myself once again at that simple wooden door, hoof raised to knock. But knocking became unnecessary when the door suddenly swung open to reveal… “Pinkie?! Weren’t you just…?” I glanced next to me where she stood not ten seconds ago, and then back to where she stood now, silly grin in place. “Check it out, Twilight, I’m Fluttershy!” she said, quickly running a brush through her curly mane, straightening it out some. Then she cleared her throat and said in a weaker voice, “Um, hello Twilight. I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. I was just—“ she cut herself off with a stifled giggle and tried to continue, but the giggle fit won out and she nearly fell over laughing. I was still recovering from mild shock, but couldn’t help but chuckle. “Alright, Pinkie, that’s enough horsing around,” I told her teasingly. “Let’s find the real Fluttershy, hmm? The one with less pink.” “You mean this one?” said a warm voice. I followed it with my eyes to the roof, where the real Fluttershy indeed was beaming down at us from over the edge. “Oh, well hey there,” I replied. “Uh, what are you doing up there?” She seemed to ponder this for a moment, and then shrugged. “Beats me. Oh, I like the new hairstyle, Pinkie,” she added to the pink impersonator, who was just stepping out the front door. But the pink locks suddenly bounced back up to their normal position when she saw Fluttershy above. “What’s up, Fluttershy? Oh wait; it’s you! You’re up!” she giggled. “Aaaanyway,” I said, playfully pushing Pinkie aside, “I hope you don’t mind our sudden appearance (especially since I just left less than an hour ago), but this pink ball of fluff I found on the street says she has ideas to make you feel better.” Fluttershy’s smile flickered; I guessed from her reaction that she had been trying to keep her mind off of her mental woes. Nevertheless, before she could get a word out, Pinkie piped up. “You bet I do! And this time, you’re gunna get better for realsies!” But the cream-colored pegasus wasn’t convinced. She gracefully glided to the ground and scratched the back of her head. “Gosh, I really appreciate it, Pinkie, but maybe we should just give up,” she said. “Give UP?” Insert overly dramatic Pinkie gasp. “There’s no WAY we’re giving up! Now come inside, you silly filly, we’re gunna get started right away,” she urged, pulling at Fluttershy’s leg. “I’ll have to agree with Pinkie on this one,” I chimed in with a grin. “We’re not giving up until you’re better.” Hesitating, Fluttershy glanced at Pinkie, then at me, and then back to Pinkie before she finally acquiesced and walked in her front door, Pinkie and I following. Having found places to sit in Fluttershy’s living room, she and I turned expectantly to Pinkie, but she seemed preoccupied with staring at some unspecific point between me and the pegasus. I glanced at Fluttershy, who only shrugged in response, and turned back to Pinkie. “Uhhhh… hello Pinkie, Equestria to Pinkie,” I endeavored. “Oh!” she peeped. “Sorry, I was just imagining you two in your underpants. It’s pretty funny!” She demonstrated her amusement with a short giggle. “You should try it.” “Pinkie, we’re not even wearing clo-“ “But speaking of funny things and laughing, let’s get to the point, shall we?” Pinkie said, adopting her best try at a businesslike tone. “And that point is your messy brain problems, Fluttershy.” “Well I don’t think they’re very funny,” muttered Fluttershy with a hint of anger, both on her face and in her voice. I gave Pinkie an upset glare of my own (sighing and glaring, two of the things I do best). A flat expression crossed Pinkie’s face. “You misunderstand my meaning, my little ponies,” she said in the same tone. “They’re not funny things, and we don’t laugh at them… but laughter is the remedy!” She paused expectantly, as if expecting us to understand instantly what she was on about, but instead there was an awkward silence, broken by a barely audible “I don’t get it” from Fluttershy. “Don’t get it!” exclaimed Pinkie, back in her normal, sugar-fueled bouncy voice, and waving her hooves in the air. “I shouldn’t even have to explain! Don’t you remember the first time we all went into the Everfree Forest?” “Well yeah,” I said. “We were going after the Elements. And then we defeated Nightmare Moon and saved Equestria and all that. What does that have to do with Fluttershy’s mental health?” Pinkie gasped another one of her impossibly large gasps and said, “You don’t remember what I taught you all about laughter?” Her voice grew weak as she finished and her puffy mane began to flatten. “I remember that, but I don’t see what it has to do with—“ “Then I’ll show you!” yelled Pinkie, and her pink locks perked back up. Then she saw Fluttershy hiding under the chair she was just sitting in and added in a quieter voice, “Whoops. Sorry.” “No it’s okay, I’ve just been so easily startled lately. Stupid brain problems.” “Fluttershy, you’ve always been easily startled,” I told her. “Well, yeah, but…” she trailed off, and returned to her seat without finishing. “Now if you two are quite finished horsing around,” said Pinkie, back in business mode, “I’ll explain. Why don’t we all search our brains and go back to that day in the forest, and we’ll see what we can learn from it.” Fluttershy and I shared a skeptical glance, and then simply said, “Okay,” in unison. Nodding, Pinkie cleared her throat, stood up, and began bouncing in place rhythmically. “When I was a little filly and the sun was going d—“ “I don’t think that’s really necessary, Pinkie,” I interrupted, more for Fluttershy’s sake than my own. “Aww! But the answer lies in the song!” Fluttershy was beginning to get frustrated. “Can’t you just tell us what you mean like a normal pony, instead of making a big—“ “Wait,” I cut her off (make that sighing, glaring, and interrupting). “Lies in the song… in the song!” I turned to Fluttershy and grinned excitedly. Pinkie’s actually on to something! “That’s it! Fluttershy, do you remember the words to Pinkie’s song?” “Well, not all of them…” “It talks about laughing in the face of all those things that scare us and haunt us. The memories of the… bad thing that happened have been haunting you for several weeks now, and it’s about time we did something about it. What’s done is done, and it’s all in the past now, so it can’t hurt you.” “So laugh and make it disappear!” finished Pinkie with a smile. “But how can I laugh about it?” asked Fluttershy. “It was the opposite of funny.” “You don’t laugh about it, silly,” said Pinkie tenderly. “You laugh in spite of it. It’s just a stupid dumb thing that happened by accident, and despite how super sad it was, it’s all over now. You can’t go through life concentrating on stuff like that, because then you just get miserable and turn into a grumpy pants that nopony wants to be around. So you gotta look at the sunny side of it, even if it’s hard at first.” Okay, I gotta be honest for a second: I was in utter shock at this point. I would have never imagined Pinkie, the hyperactive ball of pink herself, to know exactly what to say in such a situation, and to say it so softly and considerately. “That was… actually very wise, Pinkie,” I managed. Fluttershy nodded slowly in agreement. “I have my moments,” said Pinkie with a wink. “Well, it kind of did bring all of the other squirrels closer together,” said Fluttershy in little above a whisper. A faint smile was beginning to form on her face. “That’s the spirit!” I encouraged. “And it’s a good thing that they all had each other to help them cope.” “And they also had you, the most lovingest and taking-care-of-est caretaker in the world,” added Pinkie. “Just imagine where they’d be without you.” “I… wow,” breathed Fluttershy in amazement and realization. “You guys are right! Maybe it was actually… for the best, in the long run. As horrible as that sounds…” Pinkie made the motions of taking off an imaginary hat and holding it to her chest respectfully. “It was a noble sacrifice.” “I’m sure if those two squirrels were still with us, they’d be proud of what they did for the group,” I assured her with a sad smile. “Wow,” said Fluttershy again. “I have a lot to think about now. And it’s not all bad stuff for a change.” “You know what we should do?” perked up Pinkie. “Throw a party!” I mouthed the words along with Pinkie, eliciting a giggle from Fluttershy. “Wait, do squirrels like to party?” “I think it would be nice,” admitted Fluttershy. “We can all just laugh and be happy in spite of what happened, and put it behind us… once and for all.” “You know, Fluttershy, you’re already looking quite a bit better,” I told her. “Yeah!” agreed Pinkie. “Pretty soon you’ll be all the way back to your kind and happy Flutter-self!” The pegasus smiled, tears of joy and relief welling up in her eyes. “I can’t wait.” --- I won’t dwell too much on the resulting party, but Pinkie insisted on having it that very evening, and all six of us (plus Spike and the squirrels, of course) were able to make it. Naturally it was held at Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie had readied the entire shop in a matter of minutes. Whenever I ask her how she decorates so quickly, she just mentions something about her “party cannon.” The party lasted for a good three or four hours before everypony started trickling out one by one. I spent most of the time keeping an eye on Fluttershy; it felt really good to see her enjoying herself without any weird stuff going on in her brain. That’s not to say I didn’t have my own share of fun, of course. “Thanks for coming, Twilight! Another super awesome party with my super awesome friends!” chirped Pinkie Pie as I made my exit. I bid my final farewells and made my way to the door, leaving just the pink pony and Rainbow Dash in the shop. Hah, I guess they still have a bit of party left in them, I mused. I hadn’t seen Rainbow since the whole incident with the antidepressants. Maybe I should ask her if she’s been doing alright… eh, another time. Upon stepping outside, the first thing I noticed was how refreshing the cool night air felt. I took a deep breath and smiled to myself. Gosh, I feel great. Tired, but great. The second thing I noticed was that Fluttershy’s face was about a yard in front of my own, her big blue eyes gazing at me expectantly as if waiting for me to acknowledge her. “Aaaack!” I exclaimed in surprise, falling sharply backward onto my haunches. Smooth, Twi. She in turn yelped and flinched. “Uh, sorry… I wasn’t really paying attention.” But she giggled and said, “No worries, Twilight. Um, I was just waiting out here… for you. Will you walk with me for a minute?” “Oh, sure! I’ll walk you back to your place if you like. It’s a great night for it,” I offered, gazing up into the star-filled sky. It really was a great night for it, but mostly I could tell she wanted to talk. For the next fifteen minutes or so, we walked silently side by side. Every now and then Fluttershy would turn her head toward me and open her mouth a little, only to shut it again and look the other way bashfully. Whatever she was trying to say, it definitely wasn’t an easy thing to say… although nothing is all that easy to say for her. So instead, she simply kept her gaze low for nearly the entire journey. Eventually she found words to say, but out of confusion. “Um, Twilight, why did we stop walking?” “Uhhh, because we’re here.” She looked up and forward to see the front door of her cottage. “Oh.” “Yeah,” I said with a giggle. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” “No wait! Um… if you don’t mind,” she said suddenly, and then scratched the back of her neck. “I just, uh, wanted to say thanks. For everything that you did for me. I could tell that you really cared a lot and were really worried, and I’m sorry that I caused this whole mess. I guess I really do need to toughen up a little.” “Caused this mess?!” I exclaimed. “You didn’t cause it. It just happened! You certainly didn’t ask for it.” “Well… I suppose you’re right,” she conceded, hanging her head, “but I still feel bad.” She let out an adorable little squeak when I instantaneously took one long step over to her and embraced her. “Don’t,” I whispered. After a moment of hesitation (and blushing), Fluttershy returned the gesture, a bright smile on her yellow face. --- “Aaaaand, that about sums it up, Princess. I think everypony involved learned something from the whole ordeal this past week.” Princess Celestia let out a chuckle. “I’m grateful that you decided to give your friendship report orally this time, Twilight. I can’t imagine how much paper that would have used,” she said with a friendly wink. “No kidding,” said Spike from the seat beside me. “That was quite a mouthful. I lost track of how many times I dozed off.” I gave him a quick jab in the ribs, eliciting a satisfying ‘oof,’ and took a deep breath. The palace gardens were as beautiful as ever, and the threat of nasty weather approaching ended up in vain. It was the princess’ idea to have our discussion out here as opposed to inside the castle, but I’m not complaining. I felt like I could sit out there with her forever, simply taking in the beauty, feeling the cool breeze, and discussing matters both important and casual. But alas, Princess Celestia doesn’t have the time for me that she used to. She and my parents are the only things that I really miss from my upbringing in Canterlot. “So what did you personally learn from this, my faithful student?” asked the princess, breaking me out of a peaceful reverie of sorts. I looked up at her loving face, her warm motherly smile in place. I can never help but smile back when I see that. “Well… I learned that determination and perseverance can be very good things when trying to solve a friend’s problem, but I need to be willing to accept advice from other friends, even when I don’t trust that they’ll take the situation seriously.” I thought back to the several times I had blown Pinkie off when she offered to help, and swallowed guiltily. “I had the willpower that I needed, but Pinkie Pie showed me that my methods were… off. I was too concerned with myself being good enough to solve the problem; I secretly thought that if I couldn’t fix it all by myself, then I wasn’t a good enough friend.” I hung my head as I finished. Without a moment’s hesitation, the princess lifted my chin up with her golden-shod hoof and looked me directly in the eye. “Never think that about yourself, Twilight Sparkle,” she said gently. “Your friends are lucky to have you in their lives, and you’ll grow to be a better friend and pony yet. Only through circumstances like these can we learn and improve.” At this point I was beaming. I probably looked like an idiot, but I didn’t care. “Thank you, Princess,” was the best I could manage. “Also you learned not to drive yourself crazy with worry, and in turn not drive everypony else crazy by ranting on and on and pacing all night.” “Shut up, Spike.” THE END