//------------------------------// // Breakfast // Story: Celestia's Morning After // by WanderingPuffin //------------------------------// Celestia groaned at her headache. She normally wasn't a breakfast pony. She usually limited herself to coffee and a bran muffin. However right now she wanted nothing more than something that could kill the pounding in her head. Something thick and able to soak up whatever alcohol remained in her system. She wanted cheese, eggs and buckets of butter. She wanted so much grease that she would use the bottom of the plate as a mirror. The problem was, that like all good gossip, the news of her night of debauchery had already traveled throughout the castle and everypony was already waiting with their chosen cures in the dining room. They all seemed to agree that the best way to advertise their chosen cures was by shouting them at the the pony with the hangover. "Try buffalo milk Princess. One sip turn you right as rain," "No, herring is the answer. Protein is what you need." "Can't go wrong with plain water. One gallon and you will be fine" "Eggs with salsa," "Pickle juice" "Miso soup," Princess Celestia gritted her teeth and strode through the herd. It was times like this that she enjoyed being twice as tall as her subjects. The noise was not helping but they had good intentions. They were just idiots. She tapped her hoof on the table and they quieted down as they realized what she was asking. Soon the table sagged under the weight of fish, greasy eggs, yogurt, soups, oats, a four pack of socks (was she supposed to eat the socks or wear them?) and a variety of different colored liquids filling up cups and mugs. Celestia let herself relax for a moment as she pondered what to try and what to avoid at all costs. However the universe was just getting started with her. "Your advisors ma'am." Announced the herald at the door. A cold chill went down the princess's spine. The group of ponies pushed their way through the crowd. Their sense of self importance shielding them from "lesser" ponies. "Princess, we have a great deal of issues to discuss," That was Stiff Lip, the royal manager of the household. "We need to see about turning the castle back around. The main drawbridge is currently pointing out to the cliff. We are having to use rope ladders to scale the walls." "Princess, have I not served you faithfully for years? Now you suddenly want to replace me with a "Hoomun"? The man is mad I tell you! Give to the poor? Let the poor take out loans? This will lead to ruin!" That was Thrifty the master of the Royal Bank and the Mint. "I did what?" Princess Celestia asked turning around. She had hoped she hadn't done anything politically unwise last night. "This "wise man" you summoned last night." The bank director usually looked spiffy in his suit but now he just looked scared. "He is wandering through the town in a robe saying all sorts of crazy things. He has already gathered a group of twelve weirdos who follow him around and more come to listen to him every hour." Mental note to self: nip this in the bud. "Celestia, The Accountants guild is willing to pay for any addition to the castle. However many towers you want. Go nuts. Just tell us what you did to Discord and how to undo it." A suited pony. Celestia didn't recognize him. "Celestia, the Crystal Empire has sent back their responses to your requests last night. "No", "No", "No!" and "Shining is all for it but I am just not flexible enough," Oh that was gonna come back to bite her. She was about to start with these issues when a white pony charged into the room. "AUNTIE" Celestia slammed her head on the table. Blueblood. What fresh torture is this? "I have done it!" Blueblood shouted as he charged into the room. This was not the pampered prince she always knew. His hair had all been cut off. Both mane and tail were missing. He was covered with grease and blood. Burns covered where the grease didn't. "I have the panties of Fleur de Lis, I destroyed a book from Princess Twilight's library, broke a Pinkie promise and stole the dragon's scale." He placed a squirming burlap sack on the table. "Sorry, he promised me gems," the sack said. "I stole the rest of him as well," Blueblood said quickly. "Now I hold you to change the marriage law as you promised." "Wait what marriage law?" Celestia said. However, his tasks complete Blueblood promptly passed out. "Is it too much to ask for a straight answer?" Celestia asked out loud. She turned to table and downed the nearest cup. Her face turned sour. A joyful cry echoed from the back of the room. "Pickle juice! I win the pot!"