//------------------------------// // Dinner with a Royal Pain // Story: The Supernumeraries // by KenSES64 //------------------------------// Dinner with a Royal Pain --------------------------------------------------*Screwball*----------------------------------------------------------- ‘Ugghhh, I hate these things,’ Is what went through my mind as I just stood in the middle of some fancy party while Photo Finish blabbed about “Da Magiks” or some bullcrap like that. If I knew that talking to ponies, especially some of these elitist Canterlot unicorns, racist bastards, I wouldn’t of agreed to this modeling job… Okay I would’ve of been more hesitant, but still. I mean it’s not like I enjoy it or anything, it’s just that it pays way more than working at Colgate’s dentist office. Hell, if I’m correct I should be able to start up my technology company pretty soon. I’m sure that after I finish Vinyl’s base cannon, assuming that I’ll get a chance to go back to Ponyville to work on it before Photo Finish needs me for something else, I’ll finally get some attention. Though I gotta question why a DJ would want a weapon, sound-based or not, but eh, more power to her. “Why good to see you again, Miss Screwball,” a posh female voice suddenly said to me. I turned my head left to see a skinny white mare with a pink mane, and a fleur de lis for a cutie mark, which like me with my own, I knew she shared her name with. I’ve always wondered why it is that some ponies have their cutie marks end up being the same thing as their name, but if I think about it too much then I’ll probably start sounding like Lyra and her bald ape conspiracy theories. “Hey, Fleur, how are you doing?” I said to her. It was just then that I noticing the necklace hanging around her neck with a round, light pink gem on it. “Nice necklace. Pink sapphire I see.” “Why thank you. My darling, Fancy Pants got it for me for my birthday.” She said with a grin that showed that she was definitely bragging. Granted if I ended up marrying somepony with that much money, I’d probably brag about it too. “Oh, but enough about me. What have you been up to?” “Eh, not much,” I replied. “My brother got married a few months back, but though that’s about it.” “Oh yes, the famous Seth Disarmonia, right?” she said as she brought her hooves together and pretended to swoon. “Thank Celestia for him. When my Fancy Pants went missing I was so crestfallen. You could imagine my joy when he reappeared and told me of the black unicorn that freed him from the red fog creature.” I was kinda shocked by that, mostly cause that I was unaware that one of “The Voice’s” victims was Fancy Pants, but I didn’t think too much about it and said, “Well I guess I can, I don’t know.” “Why what do you mean?” Fleur said before her eyes suddenly went wide. “Wait… You... You don’t mean to tell me that a young, attractive mare such as yourself is single!?” “Yeah, but it’s not that big of a deal, I mean not that I would mind-” “We must fix this at once!” Fleur practically shouted, wrapping a foreleg around me. “I swear to you Screwball, with Celetia as my witness, I will find you a special somepony!” “Ummm… Fleur that’s not necessary, and also ponies are staring.” I said, a little more than slightly embarrassed. “Nonsense!” Fleur shouted. “Your brother save my beloved, so it is only fair that as thanks, I help you out.” “How does helping me get a coltfriend act as a thank you to my brother?” “Well, if I had siblings I wouldn’t want to see them alone.” “And now you’re making it sound like I’m a burden,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Also, would you please let go of me.” “Apologies Miss Screwball,” Fleur said as she did as such. “Now I’ll be off, and I will let you know when I find a reasonable suitor for you.” She then walked off back in the party and left me there. It was only after she walked away that the reality of the situation finally dawned on me. ‘What did I just get myself into and how did I get into it?’ I couldn’t help but think. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About five days later I received a message from Fleur. She told me that I was to meet my new “special somepony” at this restaurant in Canterlot that had a very Prench sounding name. Against what I knew was my better judgement, I ended up going. So, for my…. date…, I dressed in a simple black dress and an... experimental bracelet and walked over from the motel that I was staying at to the restaurant. I did wait for a few minutes after arriving before the pony that Fleur set me up with showed up. I was just standing there staring the fountain in front of the restaurant when a stallion’s voice suddenly grabbed my attention. “Are you, Miss Screwball?” he asked. “Yes,” I replied as I turned around to face the stallion in question. He was a unicorn with a white coat, blond mane, and had some sort of compass or star or something for a cutie mark. Behind him was a dark blue pegasus stallion in royal guard armor. The look on his face pretty much screamed ‘I don’t want to be here.’ Strangely enough, he looked kinda familiar to me. “Good evening, Miss Screwball, allow me to introduce myself,” the unicorn said as he took my right hoof and kissed it, which made me blush almost instantly. “I am Prince Blueblood. Mrs. De Lis asked of me to accompany you this evening.” ‘Wait, a prince? She got me a bucking prince?... I know Fleur and her husband know a lot of ponies, but damn!’ I thought before I said, “A Prince huh?... Well, I guess that explains the guard behind you.” Prince Blueblood looks over at said guard and said, “Oh, don’t mind him. He’s just here for my personal safety, just in case. I mean who knows what could happen to an unprotected member of the royal family.” “Oh yes, Celestia forbid that something happens to you. There’s no way that Equestria could possibly function without you,” the guard said sarcastically. Prince Blueblood just shot him a glare before he turned back to me, “Anyways, Miss Screwball, shall we get seated?” So the three of us walked into the restaurant where the stallion at the front it was quick to seat us. I guess that’s the advantage being a member of the royal family. We were seated almost immediately, with his guard having to stand. Within moments of arriving the waiter quickly came up to our table. “Evening, Prince Blueblood, and Madam, have you decided what you would like, or would you like to take a few more minutes?” “Yes, I would like to start up with a salad with exactly two cups of lettuce, 30 pieces of onion, 22 shreds of carrot, a half a cup of cheese, five tomatoes, and a small amount of creamy Istallion dressing. Then for the main course I would like a shroomsteak cooked medium rare, with zebracan seasoning.” The waiter wrote down that order as quickly as Blueblood could say it, then turned to me, “And you miss?” I just looked at the menu and said, “Uhhh… I’ll have a cranberry salad with strawberry vinaigrette and squid ink spaghetti.” The waiter quickly took that down then went off. We sat there for a few minutes. Since Blueblood wasn’t saying anything I decided to ask the first question, “So, as a Prince what do you do exactly?” “Oh, it’s so boring… so very boring... I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear about it,” he said. “Or in other words, he does nothing,” the guard said. Prince Blueblood shot him another glare before he continued. “Lets not talk about my boring duties as a Prince of Equestria, lets talk about you? Mrs. De Lis tells me that you’re one of Photo Finish’s models.” “Yeah, but that just something I’m doing until I have enough money to start my own business.” “Oh, what type of business?” “Technology. I’m a bit of a mad scientist.” “I see... So you’ll be starting your business here in Canterlot?” “Nah, more likely Ponyville.” “Ponyville!?” Blueblood said with a start. “What would you want to start a business, for technology of all things, in a town of country bumpkins like Ponyville?” I couldn’t help but feel slightly offended by that. “Well one, its where I live, and two, it’s not a town of “country bumpkins” as you put it. Where did you ever get that idea?” “Trust me, one year the Grand Galloping Gala was ruined by a group of mares from that wretched town. One of them even had the nerve to insult me for no good reason.” While Blueblood was in the middle of speaking the guard started to walk away. “Excuse me!” Blueblood practically screeched as he turned his attention to him. “Where do you think you’re going guard?” “Look, you forced me to come here and guard you, forcing me to cancel my own plans, so you can at least let me have a bathroom break.” The guard said, sounding annoyed. Blueblood gave him a stern look before he said, “Very well, but next time you better ask permission before walking off.” The guard rolled his eyes and left for the bathroom as Blueblood turned his attention back towards me. “I am terribly sorry,” he said. “Please, continue Miss Screwball.” “Well... another reason I’d like to say in Ponyville is because I have family there. My brother and his wife to be exact. I don’t know if you know them, but they’re kind of a big deal. Though if you don’t then I’m certain you know of my father.” I said to Blueblood. “Well, who are…” Blueblood began, sounding, or at least pretending to sound, interested before the waiter came back with our salads and placed them on the table. Blueblood looked at his with a disgruntled look on his face, “Excuse me waiter! what is this?” he asked, pointing at his salad. “Ummm… what you ordered?” The waiter responded. “What I ordered? Oh no no no no no. I said that I wanted 30 pieces of onion, but I can clearly see that there are 31! It was a simple instruction and you couldn’t even follow that!” “Seriously?” I said. “You’re getting upset over an extra onion? I mean if it’s that big a deal then just put it in my salad.” Blueblood just glared at me for a second, then said, “Very well.” He then looked at the waiter and said, “You’re off the hook for now.” At that the waiter rushes off, and Blueblood turned to me saying, “Appologies, Miss Screwball. What was it that you were saying before we were rudely interrupted by that waiter’s inconfidence? Ah yes, your father? Is he a well know here in Canterlot? Perhaps a businesspony or-” “No. He’s Discord.” “What?!” “Yep. Discord’s my dad. Though he doesn’t bother me as much as my brother, Seth. I guess he gets more annoyed by him than I-” “Quite! You beast!” Blueblood quite literally shouted. “What?” “You claim to be the daughter of one of Equestria’s most hated enemies!? I… I should have you arrested for such claims!” “Ummm… You do know Discord’s been reformed right? Besides, my brother and I were open about it for quite some time even before that and we weren’t arrested.” “You speak nonsense!” Blueblood shouted again, bashing his hooves onto the table and sending his salad up into the air. It would have landed on me if I didn’t press a button on my bracelet which made it turn into a hoof mounted gravity cannon, which I used to grab the plate in mid-air. Yes, I did do that. I then placed the plate down on the table and said to Blueblood, who had a look of surprise plastered onto his face. “You know, going into this I had a feeling that it wouldn’t go well, but I didn’t expect to be insulted because who my family is. That’s just a dick move. On top of that, you almost sent your salad at me. Sure, that was probably an accident, but you probably wouldn’t have felt bad if it did.” I then point my hoof cannon at Blueblood, which wrapped him a cyan arua just like it did the salad. “What is this?!” He shouted, sounding scared. “An experimental gravity cannon I’ve been working on. It’s a way for non-unicorns to use telekinesis. It also doubles as a bracelet when not in use. Though what do you care, you probably didn’t give a crap about most of the things I said.” “You are correct about that she-demon!” “You know, it’s insults like that that’ll get you thrown out of here.” “Oh, the owner of this restaurant wouldn’t dare throw out a prince.” At that I smirked and said, “I was talking about getting thrown out by me.” Then, with that Blueblood was repulsed away and he went flying out the nearby window. After that I smiled and let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding in as I sat back down, my gravity cannon turning back into a bracelet. Then the guard showed back up. “Hey, where’d Blueblood go?” he asked. “Oh, he said he had some immediate royal business to attend to and he went off.” “Oh, so I guess I can go home now.” “I guess,” I said. “You did say you had plans right?” “Nah, that was a lie.” “Oh… well, if you’ve got nothing planned, Blueblood didn’t eat any of his food. Care to join me?” The guard looked at me for a good couple of seconds, like he was checking me out or something and said, “Sure.” “My name’s Screwball by the way,” I said with a smile. He took off his helmet as he sat down, revealing his light purple mane and said, “Light Arrow.”