Caught
"What in tarnation are you two doin'?"
"Listen, Granny, I can explain—"
"Explain nothin'! I knew there was a reason you two had been sneakin' around. You ain't too good at hidin' things in the first place, missy. Did you think just 'cause I'm old means I'm blind, too?"
"No, Granny."
"Darn tootin'! I may be old and all my teeth may be fallin' out, but I know a girl's in love when I look at 'er! And look at you two! Thick as thieves and stuck together like ya'll been huggin' a sugar pine tree 'stead of each other."
"Look, Granny, we—"
"I just thought you had more sense than that in your head, tryin' to sneak around behind my back with the likes of her. What would your mother think?"
"I'm certain that her mother would be happy for her."
"I weren't askin' you, missy!"
"Granny, I love her!"
"Oh, I'm sure you do. Or at least you think you do. But you youngun's sometimes get so confused in the head you can't remember what's what. Not like me; I never forget a thing."
"I'm sure."
"That's enough guff out of you! Applejack, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"I don't got nothin' to say. I love Rarity and that's just the way it is."
"Granny Smith, I understand that the idea of two mares being together is shocking, but I assure you that—"
"Mares schmares! What two mares do in the privacy of their own bedroom or barn is their own business."
"Then what's the problem, Granny?"
"Why, it's as obvious as the hat on your head."
"...Granny, you ain't sayin' you don't like Rarity 'cause she's a unicorn?"
"Of course I ain't sayin' it. Don't mean it ain't true. Shifty ponies, unicorns. Always lookin' down their snouts at us honest earth ponies. Why, I remember when I was just a little pony there was this handsome unicorn stallion who was sniffin' around, but my ma, she said that he might seem nice, but those horny fellas only have one thing on their minds."
"Uh, Granny, I don't think that's what your ma—"
"Anyway, can't trust 'em more than you can look at 'em. Nice enough to look at, sure, but not somethin' you take home to the family."
"I'm appalled!"
"Rarity, I'm real sorry—"
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Applejack. I just thought better of Granny Smith. Especially given that I know you have some cousins who are unicorns."
"That's right. What about Ambrosia and Yellow?"
"What about 'em?"
"They're both unicorns, and they're Apples. You've never said a word against them."
"You ain't plannin' on cozyin' up with them, are ya?"
"Granny, they're eight."
"That's what I thought! And ya'll know where their dad went!"
"Uh, ain't he workin' in Fillydelphia buildin' houses 'cause they had a bad harvest last year?"
"Exactly! Can't trust 'im an inch. Ain't even been home to see his family in months."
"But you said last reunion that... wait a second. Granny, are you messin' with me again?"
"Ehehe. Took ya long enough to figure it out, missy. Maybe next time you'll tell me you got a new marefriend before I come home and find ya'll snugglin' on the kitchen table."
"Granny, it was just a hug."
"Hug schmug. And while you're at it, let your brother know he can bring that lady friend of his around the house. No point in sneakin' around if everypony knows they're together."
"Granny, I keep tellin' you, Cheerilee ain't Big Mac's girlfriend."