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Reminiscence
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The night had progressed quickly from eating, to watching a movie. Something that simply captivated the girls. They had all been to the movie theater in Ponyville, but it seemed that Equestria was lagging behind Earth in the special-effects department.
So, because the night was so young, and he was sure that the girls would be up for a late night, he decided to pop on some super hero movies, knowing that as far as contemporary films went, they would be well rounded, and easy to watch for them.
They were all enthralled by the cool story lines, the epic battles, and surprising amount of character development. However, Twilight was forced to point out many scientific impossibilities they were using in these films, especially without magic around to be used as an explanation for some of them.
Still, despite her cheerfulness during their dinner, Pinkie had once again found herself feeling sad. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Alex. He knew that Pinkie and Dash had been close, but the other girls were taking it so many times better. They were all still happy, joking around, and even mentioning Dash in various stories during their conversations.
But, Pinkie was only silent. The exact opposite of her usual demeanor.
However, the night moved on, and so did the films they were watching.
And, before any of them knew it, they were falling asleep in their places on the various couches and chairs. So, after about twenty minutes of zero activity, Alex decided that it would be best for him to turn everything off, and get some sleep himself. He wasn’t sure what kind of day he would be having tomorrow, and whether or not he’d be going back to Equestria.
Standing up, he walked over to the massive television, and pressed the power button, covering the room in darkness. Then, with the light from his phone screen, he grabbed a couple of blankets from the hallway cupboard, and laid them out just well enough that he could stretch three between all the girls.
Finally, he walked in to the kitchen, and turned the dimming light up a couple of notches, bathing the entire lower floor in a soft light that would help them see if they needed to get up for any reason.
With that, he headed up the stairs silently, and went in to his room, ready for a night fraught with indecision, and inability to sleep.
Getting in to his bed, he listened to the silence, and took a moment to appreciate the calm time he was currently experiencing. There had been so much pain, angst, and whatever else, that he hadn’t had a single moment like this. One where he knew that he was cared for, and that no matter how bad things got, no matter how bitter the endings with one chunk of your life, there is always a bright spot. No matter how adjusted to the dark your eyes are. You just need to sit in the darkness long enough to see it.
But just because there was a bright spot of light, that didn’t mean that he would be over the pain he had been caused any time soon.
Alex was interrupted by a sudden knock at the door.
“Uhm,” Alex coughed, sitting up and turning on his bedside lamp, “You can come in.”
The door opened slowly, and Alex wasn’t able to make out the person… but he could see the color of her eyes. They were bright blue, and that meant Pinkie. Which, after everything, made the most sense.
“Hey, Pinkie.” Alex said, smiling at her softly, dampening her out-of-character tepidness, “You want to talk?”
“Um… If that’s okay! I mean, if you’re trying to sleep, then I’ll—“
“Don’t sweat it,” Alex said, removing the blanket and sitting up on the side of his bed, “You can sit down.”
“Thanks,” She smiled gratefully, taking him up on his offer and sitting down next to him.
“You want to talk about Dash?” Alex asked softly, his heart wrenching at the use of the name.
“Yeah, if that’s alright with you…” She said quickly, not at all wanting to put him in an uncomfortable, or sad mood.
“You sound like Fluttershy, Pinkie,” Alex laughed, expertly hiding the pain in his chest, “I’m here to help if you need me.”
“But- but that makes me sound like such a jerk!” Pinkie squeaked, “You got it way worse than me, but I’m such a mess!”
“I don’t think I did get it worse, Pinkie,” Alex said, shaking his head softly and giving her a reassuring smile, “I may be in love with her, but you trusted her just as much as I did.”
A pause of indecision followed, leading Alex to wonder just what it was she was going to say to him.
“If- if the situation was right… would you ever take her back?” Pinkie asked suddenly, shifting the conversation away from how she was feeling, “Even if she begged you?”
“Why are you asking…?” Alex began, before understanding her reasoning for asking the question.
Pinkie hadn’t shifted the conversation away from herself at all. She wanted his opinion on her betrayal. She knew he was angry, and that he had cried over it. All of the girls downstairs knew those things. But, none of them knew what was deep down. What he would do in a very possible situation like that.
“Honestly?” Alex asked, playing it over in his mind… her crying, and begging him to take her back. Telling him that she needed him, and that she’d be miserable for the rest of her life without him, “I couldn’t.”
Pinkie didn’t respond. The sadness on her face told him everything.
“Not in a million years could I take her back as a lover,” Alex shook his head, closing his eyes and focusing on the prevention of tears for a moment.
“But, as a friend…” Alex trailed off, biting his lip as he opened his eyes, “Maybe.”
That was where Pinkie’s expression changed. Her frown vanished, her eyes opened up a little more. She wasn’t smiling. But there was a level of hopefulness in her demeanor.
“I cried myself to sleep every night for the past… however long,” Alex continued, opening up for the first time on this subject, “I’ve told so many people that I would never talk to her again, and that I hated her… but, it’s just not how I operate.”
“You couldn’t hate her?” Pinkie asked.
“Never.” Alex smiled, growing a small, but fond smile as he looked down at his bed, “I don’t even know how much blame I can put on her, really.”
“Alex, you shouldn’t fool yourself,” Pinkie said quickly, knowing the path he was going down in his mind all too well, “What she did… to him and you? It was terrible. She deserves a lot of blame.”
“I’ve never seen you so serious,” He laughed, still staring at the covers, “But you’re right. I know that I was gone… and to be looking for me, while going off on these secret rendezvous with that Speed guy… It just sounds impossible. A part of me just can’t accept it, I guess.”
“But even knowing all of that, how could you not hate her?” Pinkie asked, this being such a vital question to her.
“She held my hoof through the hardest times of my life,” Alex explained, losing all self-control, “Getting used to Equestria, when we saw Luna’s husband die, when I was trapped in stone… and even when I was being controlled by the changelings. She was there for me… she fought so hard for me. I guess that just makes me realize that I wasn’t the most important thing to her.”
Pinkie sat in silence, waiting for him to continue, but he simply didn’t seem to.
“Alex?” She finally asked, placing a hand on his face, and pulling lightly toward herself.
When he finally relented, and looked to her, she felt all of his pain through his expression. His cheeks were stained with tears, as they had been every night since he got back.
Scooting closer to him on the bed, she comfortingly grabbed his hand with hers, and gave it a few reassuring squeezes. “I’ll talk for a little bit, okay? I’ll tell you why this has been so hard for me.”
Alex nodded, sniffing, and wiping his cheeks of with his free arm, as he listened intently.
“I cared about Dashie so much,” Pinkie said softly, “The two of us spent so many amazing times together…”
Alex knew that Dash and Pinkie had a good friendship, but it sounded like it was so much much stronger, when coming from Pinkie like this. It was something he hadn’t at all realized.
“From the first day Dashie moved to Ponyville, I knew she was special,” Pinkie explained, “She came to Sugarcube Corner, and told Mr. Cake that it was her birthday, and her first day in town—she was looking for a small cake to celebrate it by herself in her new house, because Fluttershy wasn’t around yet. But! She was trying to sound so cool while she was doing it.”
As hard as it was hearing about the old Dash, the one he fell for… He still loved hearing every word about the naïve, big headed mare.
“So, naturally, I offered to take her out!” Pinkie giggled, brightening the mood in the room greatly, “She didn’t have anypony else to have around, so, she had no choice! And that was the beginning of one of the best days of my life.”
“How come I never heard about that day from her?” Alex asked, tilting his head.
“I think… It’s because it mattered a lot more to me, than it did to her,” Pinkie tried to explain, before realizing how bad that sounded, “But I mean, she couldn’t have known.”
Alex had no intention of interrupting her now.
“Well, let’s just say that it had been a hard week… I lost a friend.” Pinkie explained, scratching the back of her head, avoiding detail on that topic, “So, when I was finally back to work after it, I was a bit of a sourpuss. I moped around the bakery for a few days, and was being so bad, that I was driving away customers!”
“But…?”
“But! When I first saw Dashie in that store, trying to look tough so she could hide how scared she was… Something inside of me popped! I wanted nothing more than to make her day.” Pinkie said with a smile, “So! I told her that I’d take her out, and give her a super-memorable birthday!”
“Was it?” Alex asked, already knowing the answer.
“Well, I exploded cake batter all over her body, she got tangled up in a bunch of balloons and their strings, sang her four songs about her lack of friends… but then! During the tight rope act I was doing, I fell off! And she had to catch me! …But, well, after she caught me, she couldn’t stop us, and we crashed in to a pig pen.” Pinkie giggled, remembering the day with so much fondness, “But… even with so much going wrong, do you know what she did?”
“What did she do?” Alex asked, feeling his own chest lighten at the happy story.
“After all that, she just laughed,” Pinkie smiled, her eyes lit up as if she were there again, “Not once had a pony been happy after so many screw-ups! But, I mean, I think she could see something was wrong with me… Maybe Mr. Cake told her, I’m not sure. But, for a pony to go out on her own birthday, and put up with all that just to make me smile? That’s a really special pony, Alex.”
He only nodded.
“After that, Dashie told me that she had an amazing day, and told me that we should hang out again! It was exactly what I needed to get out of my funk…” She said, her voice hardening once again, “Exactly what I needed…”
Alex watched as Pinkie’s face darkened once again.
“I needed that win so much… and she gave it to me,” Pinkie said solemnly, “That was the moment I decided that she would be my new best friend.”
Pinkie shifted uncomfortably, while Alex could feel trembling in her hand that was holding his.
“And while she may have never looked at me quite the same way, I always looked up to her so much.” Pinkie continued, “Dashie was the cool big sister I could always depend on, that would protect me from anything. She was truly my best friend... Even if I wasn’t her best friend in return. But I was okay with that!”
Alex wasn’t sure if her story was going to make him cry again.
“But, after putting so much stock in her, and committing myself to loving her like I would Maude, or any other member of my family—“ Pinkie stopped to sniffle, as her own eyes started to fill, “She-well… she might as well have died right there. B-because I l-l-lost a sis-ter.”
Pinkie was now broken down. Alex finally understood the extent of damage that had been done to his friend.
“I’m so sorry, Pinkie,” Alex said, wrapping his arms around her neck, and pulling the crying girl in to his embrace.
She was gone. Lost to the extreme level of emotion that was assaulting her senses.
So, Alex did what any friend would do. He held on to her, and gave her his shoulder to cry on.
And she cried harder than he had ever experienced from anyone else. It was truly harrowing.
However, the busy day, along with all the stress she was feeling at this moment, mixed together to make her incredibly drowsy. And, after about ten minutes of silent tears, Pinkie finally fell asleep in his embrace.
So, seeing that she was out cold, Alex tucked her in to his bed, and silently moved across the hall to the guest bedroom.
While it had been such a sad, sad night… Alex couldn’t help but be happy that he was important enough to someone, that they would bear their soul to him so much. He had bonded with her on a new level, and as long as he lived, he was going to try and make her smile whenever he could.
If only there were some way to change the past… All this pain would stop.