//------------------------------// // Winter Winds // Story: The sting of sadness // by FelixVerricht //------------------------------// Winter Winds A time for warming the hearts of those closest to you. This is a story of myself. My name is Felix Verricht; I dwell in Brisbane in Australia, and this will be a journal detailing the events of my life and more specifically those of the last year. The ones you would really want to know about. "Snow." I said out loud to no one in particular. This thought has plagued my mine ever since I was a little child: the one simple desire of my heart. This sort of thing happened on a regular basis. I'd be sitting on my bed using my computer and I'd just stop look out the window and start to ponder any manner of things. One of the recurring ones was my desire for snow. Some people desired wealth or fame or beauty but I wanted to see snow. But that would have to wait and I'll get to see it soon enough. My life isn't bad by any means, but the best way to describe it would probably be lonely. I have plenty of friends but no true friends if that makes any sense. I can share a laugh with my friends and I enjoy making them smile whenever I can, but I've never shed a tear with one, shared my true feelings with one, or had an emotional talk with one. I enjoy their company but most of the time our time together is only skin deep. I know none of their fears or insecurities. They share nothing with me. This is what has caused this mask of mine. I put on this false persona whenever I get to school to make it seem like there is nothing wrong. Yet I feel that no one will ever know the true me. But as unlikely as it seems there is one thing helping me, removing this false mask to help me share myself, as trust is a two way street. I would never lie to any of them but they don't seem to trust me either way. The thing helping me remove this false persona is "My Little Pony". A show that around the world has been recognized by many people of my age group and many like myself have become totally infatuated with. But for all love there must be hate and the amount of people that like the show is definitely matched by the amount of hate the show may receive. I am happy as of now. Just because I am lonely doesn't mean I won't try and enjoy life but the following events crushed my spirits. Something not even the happiness of "My Little Pony" could help with. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I had no idea what had happened. I was out with friends enjoying myself; I didn't think anything of it when I got home to find the house empty. This happened a lot. So I just sat down and started using the computer. That's when I got the call - the one I will never forget. Again I thought nothing of the phone call and answered with a casual "Hello." The hello was met with the sound of a gasp and a sound of someone who'd practiced a sympathetic voice. "Hello, is this Felix Verricht?" "Yes it is. May I ask who's calling?" "This is Caroline from the hospital here in Brisbane. I have called to inform you that..." There was a short pause and in this pause my heart stopped, the blood in my veins went cold as she uttered these next few words. " I regret to have to inform you that your parents have been killed in a car accident." Nothing could have prepared me for that news. My usually joyous bounce and spirit was crushed in an instant. "Hello? Sir, are you there?" I could still hear the woman on the phone but it was now on the ground as I began crying. Tears streaked my face and I could see nothing but the water that was now filling my eyes and staining the bits of paper on my desk. The sadness I felt of my parents death was overwhelming. I had never felt more alone in my entire life! I loved my parents with all my heart and in the blink of an eye they were gone - disappearing into an abyss. For the next couple of days I was stuck in this shell, not leaving the house for anything. Just sitting inside either crying or sleeping. Many times I was on facebook all my friends knew but none of them offered support of any kind. That’s what pushed me over the edge. The grief was too immense for me to handle. But then that night came. That fateful night where my grief reached a climax. It was dark and it was raining. My face was again streaked with tears as I ran through the rain. The sound of thunder echoed across the sky creating a harsh and terrifying effect with some of the trees. The memories of my family ran through my head: our adventures, hardships, and how much I missed my parents. I had no idea where I was going, all I knew was I needed to get out of my parents’ house. I ran through the streets tears leaking from my eyes. My clothes getting heavier as the rain soaked them and seemed to soak into my body slowing me down and sapping my strength to push on. Regardless of my lack of strength I pushed on and continued running with no real aim or care. Just hoping I'd find something worth while something worth looking for. Before I knew it I was stuck in some dark and desolate forest that I guessed was the one down the road from home. That's where I stopped. I dropped to my knees and began smashing the ground with my fist; the sound of my tears hitting the ground was drowned out by the immense sound of the rain. Before I knew it I'd passed out there on the ground, my breath gurgling into the mud.