//------------------------------// // -A // Story: Gildaloo // by Bysen //------------------------------// “Don’t get me wrong. I’d totally prefer Spitfire, but Soarin’ ain’t half bad either.” Gilda answered Rumble. Scootaloo was just keeping quiet while these two talked about which Wonderbolts they’d like to bang. Besides the fact that Rumble kept asking Gilda about her sexuality, and making the occasional comment towards Scootaloo’s too, it was even awkwarder for her since she personally knew a good number of The Wonderbolts. She’d ordered a second desert by now as these two had hit it off and just started bantering with each other for over an hour-odd now. Don’t get the wrong idea though, she didn’t feel like a third wheel or anything. Before when they’d just been talking about the last Wonderbolt shows either of them attended and Scootaloo was right in the middle of that conversation. Rumble was really the only friend she had that she could talk to about this kind of motocross stuff without feeling weird. Mostly because all her other friends were girls and none of them cared about this stuff at all. Despite the fact that the majority of The Wonderbolts were female themselves. Not to mention how just plain awesome it was, and those statistics that said the fanbase was nearly 50:50 male:female ratio, Gilda was the only female she knew who enjoyed it. Well, only one she still knew. The conversation came to a brief stop though as Rumble’s phone began to ring. “Hello? … Oh yeah, I met him, even ate lunch with him. ... Yeah. … Sure, I’ll be there in about half an hour. … Alright, see ya.” he said as he hung up. “I gotta get going, my ride’s gonna meet up at the pier.” “Your ringtone is Funky Town.?” Gilda both stated and questioned as she raised an eyebrow towards him. “His mom’s ring tone is Funky Town.” Scootaloo told her friend as she pulled out her own phone. “Not as bad as the one he has set for me though.” and with that she pressed call and a moment later the Chicken Dance Song started playing from his phone. Gilda laughed at it, completely unaware at how much trauma that joke had once caused her. If Scootaloo didn’t find it kinda funny how Rumble had given everyone he knows a stupid ringtone she’d have decked him for it years ago. “I was gonna offer you a ride but not anymore.” he declared, as if the threat actually held any merit. “Yeah… I think I’ll pass on any ride with your mom anyway thanks.” she said. “Thunderlane on the other hand…” Scootaloo finished in a seductive tone. Rumble wasn’t the only one who intentionally made things awkward and sexual between them. “Tss… yeah cause my mom’s so bad. Remember when your dad came to sch-” he began but was cut off my Scootaloo. “A-ba-ba-ba!” she said and flailed her arms slightly in his direction as her eyes shifted between him and Gilda. She then leant over the table and told him “Ix ne on the oolscra!” “Uh… that’s not real pig latin and I’m pretty sure she understood it anyway.” Rumble commented. Gilda huffed out a slight chuckle but cut it off as Scootaloo pulled Rumble in closer and whispered something to him. He looked at Gilda slightly confused for a moment before Scootaloo pulled away. “Alright, alright… all I was gonna say is in school last year he picked us all up and the car stank like a cat had pissed in it. And you don't own a cat.” “What the hell!?” Scootaloo exploded. “I just said don’t say tell her that, she thinks I’m e-” “I didn’t.” he said smugly cutting her off before she herself said it instead. Scootaloo thought about it for a second before realising he was right. That didn’t stop her from giving him the death stare though. And kicking him under the table. Twice. Repeatedly. Until he left! “Ok, ok, stop it already!” he said as he stood up and away from her legs. “I get it, you wanna seem cool to your lover here.” “That’s not…” “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I’ll see you on Monday Scoots. You know why…” he said smugly as he turned and waved a hand over his shoulder. “See ya ladies!” he called back as he headed for the door. Scootaloo just groaned before Gilda gave her a gentle rib. She turned to her and the two shared an awkward moment as their eyes locked. Scootaloo hadn’t actually said what she was trying to hide but had said that there was something she was trying to hide. “I wasn’t joking when I said you too should just hook-up already.” Gilda said, breaking the silence. “Seriously? That knucklehead?” Scootaloo simply replied. “Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I like him.” “Ouch…” “What?” “Friendzoned.” Gilda replied as she shifted in her seat across the table from Scootaloo slightly. “Pff-whatever… what makes you think he’d wanna go out with me anyway?” “He’s a guy.” “He’s a jerk.” “He’s a guy… “He’s an idiot!” “Well he IS a guy.” “You even hear yourself? He insulted me like twenty times, constantly tried to piss me off and even flat out shot me down when you said it the first time. I doubt he even sees me as a girl, let alone a girlfriend.” Scootaloo answered, just brushing off what Gilda had said as trying to get under her skin once more. “Wow… it’s almost painful how naive you are.” Gilda half laughed. “I kinda feel sorry for him. Going out of his way ta get your attention; the ringtone, the stories, the shared interests. Heck, if it wasn’t with his mom I’d say it was romantic he offered you a ride home.” “He didn’t though.” “Yeah. He did.” Gilda stated. “You’re totally serious aren’t you?” “Totally.” “You’re totally mad aren’t you?...” “Totally.” Gilda laughed. She got quiet for a moment before continuing with “Trust me, he’s absolutely into you, so c’mon. What’ve you got against him?” Scootaloo just stared at Gilda, clearly trying to figure out a reason why not. Truth was, she couldn’t think of one. “He’s your best guy friend right?” “Well… yeah, but that’s just ‘cause he’s my only guy friend.” Scootaloo justified. “Ah huh. You his only female friend too?” she asked, completely breaking Scootaloo’s own argument. “Hfft, thought so. Listen, trust me on this one. If I had half the balls I got now when I was his age I’d have asked out my crush too. Hell, I did pretty much everything he’s doing and she didn’t notice.” “I just…” Scootaloo began but was interrupted. “Unless he was right. You don’t like dick.” Gilda half smirked and half cringed paraphrasing Rumble’s words from earlier. “So is this a date after all then? Hope you’re paying for my meal then. I ain’t no cheap thrill after all!” Gilda mocked, completely forgetting about the little incident paying for lunch had already caused. “I don’t like him alright!” Scootaloo yelled and slammed a hand onto the table. Gilda was actually taken aback by the outburst and just locked eyes with Scootaloo for a couple of seconds in silence. After that though Scootaloo realised what she’d just done and took a quick look around. Luckily there didn’t appear to be anyone staring at her. Other than Gilda of course. “I don’t wanna go out with him okay?” Gilda tried to sound soothing as she told her “Yeah, sure thing Scootaloo.” but it still sounded a little sarcastic. “I know I should like him but I don’t. He’s like, perfect for me but I don’t feel anything for him. I want to but… I don’t.” Scootaloo told her friend. It was obviously a sore topic, and one Gilda had accidently pressed far further than she should’ve. “C’mon, you say it as if you have to like him or something.” “Don’t put too much into this, it’s not that I like girls or anything. It’s just that… I don’t know that I like guys either. Like, I’m numb or something. I mean, I don’t feel numb or anything emo like that. It’s just how I’d describe not liking people.” Scootaloo said as she looked away and out the window at nothing in particular, just away from Gilda. “So? You’re asexual.” “A sexu-” “I swear to Celestia if you say ‘a sexual what?’ I’m going to punch you.” “-what?... like, like the reproduction method? I’m pretty sure I don’t asexually create a clone of me.” Scootaloo questioned, legitimately having no idea what Gilda was on about. “It means neither. You like neither.” Gilda clarified. “It’s like gay, straight, bi and a. There’s one for the other three, you never thought nothing was an option?” “I… guess. I just, I don’t know.” she said. It wasn’t in a sad tone or anything, it actually sounded more factual than anything else. “Relax, I’ve been there. Confused about who you are and blah blah blah… listen, here’s what I want you to do. Next time you see Rumble, Monday right? When you see him on Monday, just walk right up to him, go in for a pash and ask him out. Hell, if I’m right, and I am, he’ll ask you out instead.” “I…” “Alright, how’s this. I’m gonna call you on Thursday. If you aren’t dating him by then, then you and me are going to the gay bar night again… on a date!” “Are you asking me out?” “Sure, why not?” “Is… is this a date right now?” “We’ve been over this already but sure… if you want it to be.” she said, wiggling an eyebrow seductively. “Just man up and do it!” “You’re not a good person Gilda…” “Never said I was.”