//------------------------------// // Painting the Town Pink // Story: Empire of Pink // by Gordon Pasha //------------------------------// By the time Twilight looked up from her book, Pinkie was already standing above her, having rushed over so fast that it had sent Fluttershy (whose interest had been captured by a nearby book on ladybugs) into a tailspin. The poor Pegasus only avoided a full-on collision with the bookcase when Rainbow Dash swooped in and grabbed hold of her. But Pinkie did not notice. She was too busy staring at Twilight, her old beaming smile having finally returned to her face. “What is it you need me to do? I’ll do anything!” Pinkie said. “Well, Pinkie, what I need you to do is–” “Do you need me to infiltrate their top-secret base, under cover of nightfall, disguised as a Pinkie Pie?” Twilight shook her head. “First, they don’t have a top-secret base. And they’re basically you, so….” Pinkie put her hoof to her chin. “But if they are me and don’t have a top-secret base, that means I don’t have a top secret base. Why don’t I have a top-secret base?” “You should totally have a top-secret base,” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “I was reading that the Wonderbolts have a top-secret base under Canterlot. So if we had a top-secret base, we’d be just like the Wonderbolts!” “Nah, I think that’s just a rumor,” Pinkie said. “No, it ain’t!” Rainbow said. “I heard it from Lightning Dust who heard it from–” Twilight let out a piercing scream. Dash and Pinkie fell silent and looked at her. “Sorry,” Twilight said. “Another clone just did a cannonball onto the force-field.” Dash and Pinkie, satisfied with the explanation, opened their mouths to continue the argument. “Do you two think we could finish this oh-so-fascinating discussion at another time?” Rarity said. “I was just looking out the window and it does not appear that the clones are going to wait until you two finish it.” “Thanks, Rarity,” Twilight said. “Now, Pinkie, what I need you to do is very simple.” “Oh, I can do very simple,” Pinkie said, her focus jumping back to Twilight. “I mean, I don’t like to do it that much because it’s usually so boring, but–” Twilight, her head aching, was in no mood to go through this again. So she did the rare (and under most circumstances, arguably impossible) thing of talking over Pinkie. “Pinkie, I just need you to go back to Sugarcube Corner. And when you get there, I need you to pick out an item of clothing. You do have something to wear, right?” “Of course, I do! I know, I could wear–” “Good. I need you to go home and find it. Find something. Anything, but preferably something that you wear around your neck, like a scarf or a necklace or something.” “Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie said. “Though I don’t think I have many necklaces. If I still had the Element of Laughter, this would be so much easier!” “You don’t know the half of it,” Twilight said. Rarity stepped forward. “Now, Twilight, I never thought I’d hear myself saying these words, but I really don’t see what use fashion is at a time like this.” As Applejack and Rainbow Dash exchanged smirks behind Rarity’s back, Twilight said, “It’s not about fashion. I just need something of Pinkie’s, something that she wears, in order for this spell to work.” “Okay, Twilight, I’ll be back in a jiffy!” Pinkie said. Pinkie began hopping joyfully toward the door, her mood raised by the sudden appearance of such a simple solution. However, as she reached for the doorknob, she heard Twilight yell out, “Rainbow Dash, stop her!” In a rainbow-colored instant, Pinkie was whisked away from the door and found herself hovering in the air, with a pair of blue forelegs holding onto her. “What did you do that for?” she asked as Rainbow Dash lowered her back to the ground. “If you go out that door by yourself, we’ll never be able to tell you apart from the rest of the Pinkies,” Twilight said. “Remember what happened last time?” Pinkie nodded. “Oh, yeah, I guess you’re right. So how do I get to Sugarcube Corner, then?” “Somebody’s going to have to go with you,” Twilight said, casting a glance at all the other members of her friendship circle. “I’d love to do it, Twi,” Applejack said. “But, by the looks of things, those clones are heading straight for Sweet Apple Acres, and I’ve gotta get down there and make sure they don’t make a mess of the place.” “And Carousel Boutique is practically defenseless against them, too!” Rarity said. “I simply must get back there and make sure they haven’t done it too much harm.” “Would somepony mind going with me to my cottage?” Fluttershy said. “I have to make sure the Pinkies aren’t scaring the animals. They’re very sensitive, you know.” “I thought you said the clones weren’t scary,” Rainbow Dash said. “Oh, no, I never said that,” Fluttershy said. “I just said that they aren’t trying to be!” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and turned back to Twilight. “I’ll go with Pinkie. I can fly her in and out without much trouble. She’ll have a better chance of avoiding the clones if I do it.” “Thanks, Rainbow,” Twilight said. She recognized that this was one time when Rainbow Dash was not just saying things to show off. Her estimate had, in its gruff and simple way, a tactical precision which Twilight knew comes only from years of experience. And flying was the one area in which Twilight knew she could absolutely trust Dash’s judgment. Rainbow Dash was absolutely serious as she saluted Twilight and nodded. In a flash, she had grabbed hold of Pinkie and darted through the observatory window, leaving a large rainbow streak running up through the middle of the tree. Meanwhile, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy continued to look anxiously outside the window. Twilight allowed herself a moment to grit her teeth before they turned back. “Go on, girls,” she said, “do what you need to do. But be back here as soon as you can.” “You sure, Twi?” Applejack asked. “It won’t mess up anything?” “The force-field will be fine. You guys can pass through it from this side without any trouble. And there’s nothing else you can do here.” “Okay, if you’re sure.” As Applejack began to leave, Rarity stayed behind. “But how do we get back in? Won’t we be blocked out, too?” “As long as I know you’re coming, I can allow you to pass through while keeping the clones out,” Twilight said. “Don’t worry about it. If there’s one thing I can handle, it’s magic.” Twilight was in too much pain to hear the little, “That’s what I’m worried about, darling,” that Rarity uttered as she followed Applejack outside. Fluttershy hovered behind them and watched the two walk out of the bubble. “Won’t anypony help me with my cottage?” she said, much too quietly for either of them to hear. “Oh, okay then. I guess not.” With these last works, Fluttershy looked to Twilight, as though she had asked the question directly of the alicorn. But Twilight, her eyes closed and her teeth gritting in pain, clearly had too much to deal with already. Determination replaced fear on Fluttershy’s face. Though there were few things she currently relished the thought of less than taking on an army of Pinkie Pies by herself, Fluttershy knew that she could not leave her animal friends alone to face them, either. This thought giving her a measure of strength, Fluttershy herself flew through the bubble and into the oncoming night. Twilight opened her eyes once Fluttershy was gone. Seeing none of the other mares, she called out, “Spike, I need you to take a couple of letters.” Spike grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill, but seemed hesitant to put the two together. “I know writing letters is sorta your thing, Twilight, but do you really think it’s the best time right now?” Twilight did not even seem to hear him. “The first letter should be to Mayor Mare. The second one will be to Princess Celestia.” “Princess Celestia! You’re not going to tell her about this, are you? Aren’t you afraid it’ll look bad, especially since you’re a princess now?” Twilight sighed. “I know, Spike, but I have no choice. This thing is now completely out of our hooves.” Apple Bloom leaned back on her haunches, trying to think of any way to escape the boredom she currently found herself in. But, with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looking at her so expectantly, she knew she had to come through. With one last look over the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ Clubhouse – a last desperate plea for some form of escape – she sighed and said, “Okay, round four-hundred fifty-six, go.” As Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo set about furiously jolting their right hooves up and down, Apple Bloom almost jumped when a voice next to her said, “What’s going on?” Apple Bloom was stunned to see Pinkie Pie’s head sticking up through the entryway on the floor of the clubhouse. But it at least broke up the boredom, so Apple Bloom rolled with it. “We’re trying to earn ‘rock-paper-scissors’ cutie marks” she said. “How’s it going?” Pinkie asked. Apple Bloom looked over to where Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both triumphantly produced a hoof. “Not so good,” Apple Bloom said. As Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both looked down in bafflement, the little referee called out, “Both of you used rock. It’s a draw for the four-hundred fifty-sixth time in a row.” To Pinkie, she continued. “Turns out it’s not so easy to play ‘rock-paper-scissors’ with hooves.” “Oooh, it still looks like a lot of fun!” Pinkie said. “Can I play?” “Sure, I guess,” Apple Bloom responded, though for the life of her, she could not figure out why even Pinkie would want to try this game. Pinkie squealed as her head disappeared through the entryway. Not thinking much of it, Apple Bloom said, “Round four-hundred fifty-seven, go.” As Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle resumed the frantic three-fold movement of their forelegs, the Crusaders heard Pinkie call from outside, “I choose rock!” The whole clubhouse shook and teetered as a giant boulder tore through the wooden planks of the wall. Apple Bloom just barely managed to push the other two out of the way as the rock came hurdling toward them. The boulder crashed into the other wall, shaking the clubhouse loose and sending the Crusaders whirling. With a loud crash, the clubhouse broke into pieces on the ground. As the three, dazed, injured, and covered in debris, crawled into the open air, they were greeted with the sight of Pinkie Pie, tilting her head innocently. “So, did I win?” Then the Crusaders noticed a large number of other Pinkies behind the first one, all of them closing in fast. The pain and stupor forgotten, the Crusaders began to back away. The horde of Pinkies surrounded them, coming closer and closer. The Crusaders backed up, stepping over the debris, until their tails touched the tree. “Wha-what’s going on?” Sweetie Belle said. “I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s good,” Scootaloo said. “But, but, they’re all Pinkie!” Sweetie Belle said. “Another reason to think it’s not good,” Apple Bloom said. But the Pinkies kept coming, closing out any hope of escape, practically smothering the three fillies. The Crusaders huddled together, trembling. And then, roughly about five Pinkies went soaring over their heads. A second later, and another five were sent flying. And then, a voice. Much to the Crusaders’ relief, this was not another Pinkie. “Y’all get your hooves off my sister and her friends, y’hear?” There was Applejack, bucking Pinkies left and right as she forced her way closer and closer. She kicked away the whole semi-circle surrounding the fillies in one blow and then, without stopping, scooped the Crusaders up and onto her back. “Come on, young’uns,” she said. “We have to get out of here quick before they recover.” “What’s going on, sis?” Apple Bloom asked. “No time to explain,” Applejack answered. “We just gotta get to Big Mac and Granny Smith and make sure they’re alright!” Applejack dashed through the fields with the three on her back, keeping as far ahead of the Pinkies as she could. She dared not look back, knowing that no good would come from focusing on the pink swarm behind her. She had to face ahead and get to the house and barn before they did. That was all she would let herself think about. The Crusaders, on the other hand, were a different story. “That was awesome!” Scootaloo said with a excited flap of her little wings. “AB, your sis was almost as cool as Rainbow Dash back there. Almost.” “Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said, “your sister is awesome! I wish my sister was this cool! Could you see Rarity doing anything like this?” Rarity let out a deep sigh of relief as the silhouette of Carousel Boutique came into view. Her eyes lit up as she got closer and closer. The boutique was still standing, all in one piece, and still in good condition. As Rarity came to a stop beneath her home, she silently thanked Celestia that the Pinkies had seemed to have bypassed it completely. And then a mannequin came flying out of one of the second story windows. Rarity barely had enough time to dodge out of the way before it came crashing onto the street. She looked up in a kind of daze, almost unable to believe what had just happened. But she knew it had to be faced. Steeling herself, Rarity made a careful once-over of the outside of her home. She noticed that the doorway to the boutique was wide open and the door had somehow ended up on the opposite side of the street. Several windows were smashed and a couple of the carousel-horses had been knocked to pieces. Rarity’s blood was running cold. All her worst fears were coming true. Knowing this still did not prepare her for the herd of Pinkies that came bouncing out of the boutique. Rarity’s jaw dropped as she saw that the first one had a large purple cloak wrapped around her waist. The next one’s head and back were covered by a large, lacy dress, while all the others were covered in all sorts of clothing, though rarely in the way that any of them were supposed to be worn. “My… my fall line….” Rarity muttered. “You….” Her voice leapt to frenzy. “You monsters ruined it!” Rarity felt herself headed toward a mental meltdown. It was only the sensation of something sharp flying past her head that brought her back to reality. She immediately ducked and just avoided being skewered by several more. She recognized instinctively these small, blue objects flying above her head and into all the windows on the block. “Those are the rare gems I ordered from Manehatten for my fall line!” she said. “Do you know the fortune those cost me?” The Pinkie currently bouncing the box of rare gems on her head clearly did not know. Nor did she care. She just laughed and laughed as gems went flying around her. Before Rarity’s eyes, the box was emptied and all the gems smashed against street and building. Rarity’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, it… is… on!” The Pinkie with the box suddenly became aware that a large white streak was heading in her direction. She quit her laughing, but before she could do more, she felt a sharp pain in her head and fell to the ground. As she picked herself up, the Pinkie clone discovered that the box she had so recently been bouncing on her head was now tightly stuck around her neck and a purple-maned unicorn was standing over her, seething with rage. So she picked herself up, started giggling, and bounced on her merry way. Rarity watched her go, along with the rest of the Pinkies, and the rest of her fall line. She knew she could not do more. Seeing the clone on the ground had made her realize that taking out her anger on them would not bring her back her fall line. Any further violence would just be pointless and, worse yet, unladylike. So she let them go and turned her eyes back to Carousel Boutique, which now appeared to have been completely gutted by the pink cyclone. Rarity sighed in sadness and approached. Maybe there was still something salvageable inside, she thought. Maybe looking would keep her mind off all of the things the less ladylike part of her nature now wanted to do to the Pinkie clone that had started this whole mess. Fluttershy fluttered toward her cottage, being careful to avoid as many clones as she could on the way there. “Pardon me,” she said as she ducked under a Pinkie bursting out of a second-floor window. “Excuse me,” she said as she floated over another group of Pinkies carrying away the bell from the Ponyville school. All in all, she managed to make it to her cottage without much trouble. Fluttershy smiled to see the dilapidated old place. She was almost quite literally home-free. But her smile fell from her face as the cottage came more clearly into view. Fluttershy’s eyes filled with panic as she looked around. The chicken coop was completely demolished, most of the fence had been overturned, and her home looked more on the verge of collapse than usual. What was worst, though, was that Fluttershy could see no trace of all the animals that usually scampered freely over her home and grounds. She flew to the cottage window and looked inside, noticing immediately that there was no more glass within the window frame, save for some jagged pieces here and there. Beyond them, inside her house, Fluttershy saw Pinkies everywhere, bouncing up and down from every available surface and throwing her cottage into the most turmoil it had seen since Discord’s last visit. “Oh, could you please not do that to my cupboards?” Fluttershy asked. “I just picked those flowers yesterday. If you would put them down, I’d be ever so grateful. Oh, no, please leave that basket alone. It’s a birthday gift for Discord.” The large number of loud clangs and bangs that immediately followed demonstrated that none of the Pinkies were listening to Fluttershy. With a heavy heart, she resigned herself to the fact that her cottage was likely on the precipice of destruction and turned her attention back to the yard. Fluttershy’s first priority was still finding her animal friends, after all. Fluttershy did a thorough sweep of her property but could not find a single non-pink creature anywhere. Not even a caterpillar on the grass or a fly in the air remained. Fluttershy felt her heart sinking even more. She hovered slowly, her mind plagued by fear and concern for all the animals that seemed to have simply vanished. But then, from the corner of her eye, Fluttershy saw something. In the distance, at the edge of the Everfree, something was coming. A great cloud of dust and dirt was being kicked up and coming closer and closer to her. Fluttershy did not have time to get away. Certain that it was another group of Pinkies, Fluttershy threw herself to the ground, shutting her eyes tight and burying her head underneath her wings. And she waited. And waited. And nothing seemed to happen. Slowly, a green eye opened and looked out from behind the feathers of a wing. What Fluttershy saw caused her heart to soar. Surrounding her on every side were the many animals she took care of. Fluttershy quickly picked herself up and flashed a warm and welcoming smile to every single one. But her smile quickly faded when she saw that each of the animals, big and small, was trembling uncontrollably. “Oh, my goodness,” she said. “What happened to you all?” A badger stepped forward and began to make the grunts and noises which a badger typically makes. Fluttershy listened patiently to its long story. “I see,” she said once it had finished. “You were all here minding your own business when the mean pink ponies arrived and started scaring you. So you all went to hide at Town Hall. But why would you go there?” A sound of frustration escaped from all of the animals capable of making sounds and the badger hurriedly began squeaking some more. “Oh, you went to the Everfree Forest,” Fluttershy said, an embarrassed smile forming on her face. “Sorry, my badger is a little rusty.” Fluttershy looked over them to the dark and dismal forest beyond. “I see,” she said. “The forest was probably the safest place for you, despite all the dangers. But why didn’t you stay there?” A terrible sound of trembling was heard coming from the Everfree. Fluttershy saw a pack of Timberwolves running out of it and into the distance at top speed, pursued by a pack of joyful, leaping Pinkie Pies. “Oh,” Fluttershy said. Then she spied another dust cloud forming out of the Everfree. This time, due to its almost reddish hue, there could be no doubt that a swarm of Pinkies was inside. The animals all shrieked and cowered in fear. They all darted behind Fluttershy as though this dainty Pegasus was a brick wall capable of keeping the clones at bay. Fluttershy, truth be told, did not notice this, except maybe on a basic, subconscious level. As her wings lifted her upward, her only concern was the coming storm and the necessity of keeping it from her animal friends. Nothing else mattered, nothing else occurred to her, not even the fact that she was willfully facing down the sea of pink on her own. And, as it usually did at times like these, something happened. The Pinkies, previously so rambunctious and uncontrollable, stopped dead in their tracks. Before them was Fluttershy, and Fluttershy was using the Stare. “Stop!” Fluttershy said, though the Pinkies had all stopped by this point. “Leave my animal friends alone, you hear me?” The Pinkies just gazed into her eyes, completely unsure. A couple of them winced. “Fun?” one asked innocently. “No!” Fluttershy answered. “You, take all of your friends and leave me, my animals, and my property in peace!” The rest of the Pinkies had come out of the cottage to see what was going on and found themselves also victims of Fluttershy’s glare. They all began to back away. “Get going!” Fluttershy ordered. The Pinkies fled en masse. As they bounced as quickly as they could away from the general vicinity around Fluttershy, cries went up of “Not fun! Not fun! Not fun!” A moment later, and Fluttershy calmed down. She looked around, now finding her animals cowering more from fear of her than from the Pinkies. “Oops,” she said. “It looks like I overdid it again.” After an afternoon of work, Sugarcube Corner was beginning to look tidy and clean again. Mr. Cake stepped out of the kitchen and leaned with a mixture of relief and exhaustion on the mop between his hooves. As much as he enjoyed Pinkie’s presence in the shop, and as good of a worker as she usually was, he had to admit that it was nice to have some time without her, a time when a more relaxed mood and slow-going atmosphere pervaded the shop. Mr. Cake’s tired eyes closed as he enjoyed the simple pleasure of peace and quiet. And then, cutting through the calm, came the delirious noise of “Fun? Fun! Fun? Fun!” Mr. Cake’s eyes opened wearily. He saw Pinkie Pie at the window, jumping upside down and peering into the shop with a look of glee. Mr. Cake just stood there and watched her for a moment. He wanted to get in a little bit more calm before he let the pink hurricane back inside. Then again, he could always just leave the door locked…. Mr. Cake shook the thought from his mind. That would just be mean. Besides, he knew from past experience that it would not take her long to find some other way into the shop, and he did not want to try and wrap his mind around whatever trick she would use to get inside this time. He began to approach the door. But then he stopped and stared. At the window, where there had been one Pinkie Pie, there were now two. A moment later, another joined them, and then another, and another until a whole crowd of Pinkies stood outside the window. “Honey, can you come here….” Mr. Cake said nervously. Mrs. Cake came out of the kitchen and looked at the Pinkies staring at the window. With the voice of sad, worldly wisdom, she said, “It’s just Pinkie being Pinkie,” and returned to the kitchen. “But what do I do?” Mr. Cake said. “Just leave her outside until she calms down and stops being multiple ponies,” his wife answered from the kitchen. “Wait, Pinkie Pie can calm down?” Mr. Cake said, making sure Mrs. Cake did not hear. What neither of the Cakes knew was that Pinkie Pie, the real Pinkie Pie, was already inside. Upstairs in her room, she and Rainbow Dash stood together, separated only by the shattered pane of a window. “Sorry about your window,” Rainbow Dash said, “but it was the quickest way to get in without facing the clones.” Pinkie reassured her with a smile. “It’s alright. It’s not the first time that it’s happened. You should have seen when I was first testing out my party-cannon. I took out this whole wall! If you’d have seen the looks on Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s faces–” “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dash said, “but can we save the stories for later? Let’s just get what we came for and get back to Twilight before the clones burn down the whole town.” “Alrighty!” Pinkie bounded toward her bed and, crouching down, began to feel under it with a hoof. “Pinkie, if you’re looking for a scarf or something, why not look in – oh, I don’t know – the closet?” Dash asked with a circular turn of her eyes. “Because, silly, I don’t use my closet for clothes. I have to have some place to put my party-cannon, don’t I?” “It’s just that, most ponies use their closet for clothes instead of leaving them just lying around.” “Do you?” Dash hesitated. “Point taken,” she said. Pinkie picked herself up off the floor, having found nothing under the bed except some streamers, an old whistle, and parts from an old board game. Undeterred, she began ruffling through the drawers of her nightstand, throwing all sorts of party favors over her shoulder as she did so. “Thanks, Dashie,” she said. Dash was surprised. With Pinkie busily engaged, Dash had let her mind wander. “For… for what?” she said at last. “Well, I know AJ and Rarity and Fluttershy had to hurry home to make sure I wasn’t causing any problems there. But you came to help me instead of going back to your home. Thank you for that.” “Oh, that’s nothing,” Dash said as she leaned against the now-empty window-frame. “My home’s in the sky, remember? Since your clones are all Earth ponies, there ain’t no way they’re getting up there!” “I guess that makes sense,” Pinkie said as Dash looked out the window. Had she been looking up, she would have seen Rainbow Dash’s jaw drop. Visible through the window was Dash’s own home, high up in the sky but quickly losing altitude as large flames burst out from every corner of it. Dash, with her sharp vision, could just make out about thirty pink forms jumping rapidly up and down all over. “I guess it was pretty silly of me to think that you’d have anything to worry about,” Pinkie said as she approached. Then she saw Dash’s face. She looked out of the window and saw what was happening. “Oops, my bad,” she said. “I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth,” Dash said. “Looks like I’m making a real mess of your home. Sure you don’t need to take care of it?” Dash looked from the falling, burning cloud to Pinkie and back again. “You know what, I really should. It’ll just take me a sec.” Dash rose into the air and readied herself to zoom through the window at top speed. “You might want to stand back.” “Wait!” Dash lowered to the ground as she noticed the concern in Pinkie’s face. “What?” “If you go and leave me alone, and you come back and the clones are already here, how will you know if I’m the real Pinkie?” Dash put her hoof to her chin and thought about it. As much as she hated being slowed down by this, she knew Pinkie was right. She knew she had to figure out an answer and fast. Rainbow Dash did not like to admit it to herself as her eyes darted around the room, but this was one time she would not have minded being a brain-box like Twilight. Twilight always seemed to come up with ideas for these sorts of situations. Dash wished she knew how the alicorn came up with them all. But Rainbow got an idea of her own as she looked to Pinkie’s bed, barely visible under the large pile of random junk Pinkie had thrown on top of it. But it was not the bed itself that gave Rainbow her idea. Rather, it was the small alligator attempting to scale the summit of that junk-heap mountain which sparked her thought. Rainbow Dash flew to the bed, scooped up Gummy and landed back in front of Pinkie. She drove the baby alligator into Pinkie’s mane, knowing that Gummy would need no further prompting to latch onto it with his surprisingly powerful, albeit toothless, jaws. “There,” she said in triumph. “Just keep Gummy in your mane the whole time I’m gone,” Dash said. “That way, as long as Gummy’s still there, I’ll know it’s the real you.” “Smart thinking, Dashie!” Pinkie said. Dash smiled proudly. “Well, what else did you expect?” The triumph was short-lived, as Dash’s eyes soon wandered nervously back to her burning home. “Go,” Pinkie said. “I’ll be fine.” Dash nodded her thanks and, without a word, took off, leaving a bright rainbow trail shining in the room. Once she was gone, a thought occurred to Pinkie. Strange as it may have been, as silly as she thought her friend was for suggesting it, maybe Dash was on to something with that whole ‘look in the closet’ business. Pinkie chuckled to herself as she approached it. Maybe her friends weren’t always as crazy as she thought. So Pinkie threw open the closet doors and laid her eyes on the large green stallion standing within. “Hello, Pinkamena,” he said calmly. “Hi there!” Pinkie responded. She now tried to look past this figure, whose white mane and the goat-like beard hangring from his chin indicated that he was of some great age. He had aged somewhat well, however – not exactly handsome in his years but without the wizened look that often comes as ponies grow old. Pinkie, however, found his presence made searching for things rather difficult, especially as she had to keep trying to see past the long robes (somewhere between red, brown, and orange in color) that he wore. Finally, she realized that she could find nothing in this way. So she closed the closet and turned to look somewhere else. But there, once more, was the green pony, standing in her way. “Pinkamena….” He said, in the way a parent uses when chastising a child. Pinkie smiled instinctively, but she was not really all that pleased with the pony’s presence. She knew she had to get around him if she was ever going to get anywhere in her searching. “Sorry, but I don’t really have time to talk right now. I’m looking for something and it’s kinda hard because I don’t even really know what I’m looking for! Which isn’t actually that unusual for me, come to think of it, and usually I don’t care, but this time I really really need to find it so that I can get back to my friends and fix this whole mess.” During her little lecture, Pinkie Pie had jumped onto the stallion’s head, then onto his back, then had jumped off of him and was now somersaulting through the air. Pinkie paused in the middle of the somersault, hanging upside down in mid-air, to explain further. “So, if you don’t mind, could you please come back when–oomfph!” The colt had tapped his hoof against the ground and Pinkie had come crashing down. He shook his head. “You haven’t changed much, I see.” Pinkie lifted herself up. “You’re practically the same as when you were a filly,” he said. “Same cheery demeanor, same difficulty focusing, same inability to use a comb.” Pinkie grabbed a cloth to wipe off the dust with the tip of her mane. “Who needs a comb when you can do this?” The green colt was unimpressed. “Quite,” he said. Then he added, “You do realize you have an alligator in your hair, right?” “Oh, Gummy? Of course I realize that, silly!” The colt locked his red eyes with Gummy’s purple ones. Gummy blinked. “He’s looking at me,” the colt said. “I don’t like it.” Pinkie patted Gummy. “It just means he likes you! Trust me, if he didn’t have his mouth full, he’d be talking your ear off by now!” The stallion shook his head. “Be that as it may, Pinkamena, we don’t have time for pleasantries. Time is very short.” “Well, duh,” Pinkie said. “That’s why I’m trying to find a scarf or necklace or something so super-duper quickly!” “No, Pinkamena, listen to me!” the colt said. Pinkie shook her head and faced him. “Okay, fine, what is it?” Just then, there was a whoosh. Pinkie’s hair blew wildly around her as the light of a rainbow danced around the room. “Who are you talking to?” said Rainbow Dash behind Pinkie. Pinkie turned to see the Pegasus hovering there, holding a collection of objects big enough to rival the one currently burying Pinkie’s bed. “Oh, I was just talking to the colt who came out of my closet,” Pinkie said, waving her hoof over her shoulder. “Riiiighhhhttttt….” Dash said as she looked at the empty room behind Pinkie. She then gave Pinkie one of those looks, the physical equivalent of an “Oh, Pinkie….” Pinkie looked behind her to see that the colt was gone. She smiled. “Oopsy. Never mind.” Dash rolled her eyes. “Did you find that piece of clothing Twilight wants?” “Not yet, still looking!” Pinkie answered. “But how did things go with you?” “I think I was able to save everything important. I’ve got my full collection of Daring Do novels, my signed poster of the Wonderbolts, and my first-place trophy from the Junior Cloudsdale Flyers competition.” “What about Tank?” Pinkie asked. Rainbow stared at her blankly from behind her first-edition copy of Daring Do and the Crystal Scepter. “Tank?” “You know, your pet turtle?” Rainbow Dash dropped everything to the ground. “Tank!” she screamed as she charged back out the window. Pinkie watched her go and then turned back to her work. But once again, that green colt was standing in her way. “Irresponsible girl,” he remarked. “She’s not so bad once you get to know her,” Pinkie said. “I was talking about you,” he replied. “Me!” Pinkie said, her hair bouncing up and down as her eyes filled with anger. “Yes, you,” he said. “I had hoped that you would have advanced much further by now. But you’re still the same as ever.” “I don’t have time for this! If I wanted a lecture, I’d have stuck around Twilight!” Pinkie paused. “Oh, please don’t tell her I said that! It makes me sound like a really meany McGrumpy-pants.” “Your mind doesn’t stay on a single topic for a moment, does it?” he said as Pinkie’s body began to twitch. “Well, how can it?” Pinkie said, readying her party cannon. A clone Pinkie bounced into view from the window and Pinkie fired a present into her. “There’s too many crazy things going on for me to stay focused.” “That was rather cruel,” the colt remarked as he watched the clone Pinkie fall from view. He walked over and picked up Rainbow Dash’s trophy, a large golden affair with the little figure of a speeding Pegasus on top. “But you never focus for too long, do you?” “Maybe I just can’t,” Pinkie responded. The smile on her face now was the rarest of things – a fake smile which she did not really mean. “You can’t, or you don’t want to?” the colt asked. As he handled the Pegasus, it came off in his hand. He shrugged and dropped both Pegasus and trophy to the ground. “Maybe there’s just something you’re afraid to focus on.” Pinkie Pie turned away. She now tried to ignore the presence of the green stallion, going so far as to dig through her now-empty nightstand again. Anything to keep her mind off of his presence. “You can’t ignore me,” he said, now suddenly standing atop her nightstand. Pinkie felt like she had had enough. She was getting angry, a kind of angry she only felt when someone had broken a Pinkie Pie Promise. The colt had not done that – as far as Pinkie knew, anyway – but he had managed to do something even rarer and just as bad. He had managed to get on Pinkie Pie’s nerves. Was this how other ponies felt when they said things like “Oh, Pinkie….” to her? Before Pinkie could say or do more, there was another whoosh and more rainbow light. Rainbow Dash landed on the ground, clutching Tank tightly under her foreleg. “Whoo,” she said, wiped sweat off her brow. “Got Tank out just in time. I think I managed to keep my home from falling on anypony, too. Can’t make any promises for the Pinkies, though.” “If they’re me, and I think they are, they’ll survive,” Pinkie said. She looked up to see that the green colt had once more vanished. Rainbow Dash let go of Tank, who himself fluttered around the room aimlessly. She began to collect up the rest of her belongings. She gasped. “My… my trophy,” she said, clutching the trophy in the folds of one foreleg and the small Pegasus in the other. “Pinkie… did you… did you break it?” Pinkie looked at Rainbow Dash. She looked into Dash’s eyes, and could see the tears already beginning to form, though she knew Dash would not let her see them come down. She thought about what to do, what to say. She knew the truth, but she wondered if telling Rainbow Dash the truth would be the best thing. She already knew Dash would have trouble believing her, and she felt that this time, she might be on the receiving end of something stronger than an “Oh, Pinkie….” “It must have… gotten broke while I was looking for my things,” Pinkie said. “Dashie, I’m so sorry.” Dash closed her eyes and turned away. “It’s alright,” she said, her voice cracking. “Just a dumb trophy….” Pinkie approached Dash and offered a hoof of support, but Dash just pulled away. The mood was getting tense. Pinkie was almost grateful when a loud bang from downstairs interrupted it. “Hey, Dashie, why don’t you go see what that was while I finish up here,” she said. Dash nodded silently. Anything to get out of the room. Soon she was out and down the stairs, forgetting what was behind her and focus entirely on what was ahead. Rainbow Dash saw what she expected to see, but still found it somewhat unnerving to see another Pinkie Pie down there, playing with Pumpkin and Pound Cake like the real one always did. By the looks of her, this Pinkie, with black soot obscuring parts of her pink form, had gotten in through the chimney. The remnants of streamers along her back and shoulders suggested a previous encounter with the party-cannon. Dash saw all this, but she did not care. She only cared about getting rid of the imposter. Pumpkin and Pound giggled happily as Pinkie hid her face behind her hooves and then revealed it, again hid her face behind her hooves and then revealed it. She was so busy doing this that she did not see the blue hoof until it was too late. Dash’s punch sent Pinkie flying into the nearest wall. Dash stood there, once more triumphant, as she watched Pinkie collapse into a heap on the ground. Dash smiled. Surely, she must have looked particularly awesome at that moment. She looked to her audience, expecting the usual amazement. Instead, she saw the Cake twins looking up at her, their young, innocent eyes filled with disbelief and pain. Soon, dreadful sobbing burst out from both of them. Dash now fully comprehended her mistake. The foals, not knowing about the clones, could only have thought that Dash had randomly assaulted their own Pinkie. No wonder they were looking up at her with the closest thing a foal knows to the pain of betrayal. “Come on, kids,” Rainbow said, trying to quiet them. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Pinkie’s gonna be just fine, see?” The babies stopped crying as Dash motioned to the Pinkie clone lying prone on the floor. Dash gritted her teeth as the clone struggled to rise, but fell back down. When Rainbow Dash faced the Cake twins again, she now saw only anger in their eyes. They were just babies, and she was the great and heroic Rainbow Dash, but somehow the look in Pumpkin’s eyes made her feel a strange pang of fear. Pumpkin’s horn began to glow, and so did Dash’s body. Dash rose upward and upward, but not through the power of her wings. She tried to use her wings to escape, but she was held tight. Pumpkin’s magic was surprisingly strong, maybe even equal to what – Dash assumed – Twilight’s must have been at that age. Any way she looked at it, Dash could not break free. The Pinkie clone stumbled over, clearly very dazed. “Pinkie, is everything alright in there?” Mr. Cake’s voice called out from the kitchen. “Everything’s just dandy!” the clone called back. Then she noticed Rainbow Dash floating above her. “Oooh, a piñata!” She said. “I love piñatas!” Dash gulped. “Piñata?” Upstairs, Pinkie found herself growing increasingly frustrated. She threw all sorts of weird and wacky things over her shoulder. Sure, some of them could work for her, but she had a feeling that they were not the type of clothes Twilight Sparkle was looking for. “This is serious,” the green stallion said behind her. “You need to pay attention for once.” “Look, mister, I know this is serious,” Pinkie said. “In case you haven’t noticed, there are about a billion-zillion copies of me running around Ponyville and destroying everything! So, if you don’t mind–” “I know that, and that’s why I’m here,” the stallion said. “I came to warn you, to prepare you….” “If you came to help, maybe you can help me find what I’m looking for,” Pinkie said. The colt let out a small noise of disapproval. “Fine. Here, take this.” Pinkie turned around to see that the colt was now offering her a large golden necklace with a blue gem – quite alike, in fact, to her old Element of Laughter. Pinkie’s eyes lit up. She grabbed the necklace and looked it over. “This is just the sort of thing Twilight will want!” she squealed as she threw it around her own neck. “Now that we have that out of the way, can you please listen–” “I’ve got to go show this to Rainbow Dash!” And, just like that, Pinkie burst out of the room and down the stairs. The old green colt sighed. “She really hasn’t changed,” he said. When Pinkie came downstairs, she could not believe the sight that greeted her eyes. There was Rainbow Dash, floating in an aura of yellow light, rotating randomly around as three Pinkies with blindfolds and large sticks took swipes at her. Below them, Pumpkin and Pound Cake laughed in amusement. “For the last time, I am not a piñata!” Dash said as she just managed to move her hind leg enough to avoid being hit. As she pulled her wings out of the way of another blow, she said, “If you break those, I am so suing all of you clones.” “Pumpkin, Pound, what are you doing?” Pinkie said, her voice surprisingly stern. The Cake twins turned toward her and their eyes flooded with apologetic tears. The light around Rainbow Dash disappeared and she came crashing to the ground. The three Pinkies continued to swing around wildly at the air. Pinkie scooped up the twins. “You two know better than to turn ponies into piñatas. Didn’t I have to have a long talk with you about that the last time Sweetie Belle came by?” The Cake twins fell silent and curled up in Pinkie’s forelegs, acting as innocent as they could. “Oh, I can’t stay mad at you guys,” Pinkie said with a chuckle. “I wish I could say the same,” Rainbow Dash said from the floor. The three Pinkie clones had now realized that they were hitting nothing but air and removed their blindfolds. They saw Rainbow Dash lying there. “Fun?” one Pinkie asked quizzically as she lifted her stick to finish the job. “Try it and I’ll shove that stick straight down your throat,” Dash responded. The other two Pinkies restrained their comrade. They exchanged nervous looks and backed away as Dash arose and faced the original Pinkie. “What’s that around your neck?” she asked. “Oh, this? This is what I decided to take to Twilight!” Dash tilted her head. “That gaudy thing? It’s something I’d expect more from Rarity than from you.” Pinkie smiled. “Well, you know, I was going to take my clown-ruff, but I don’t think Twilight would like it very much. Last time I tried to do the clown act for her, she fell over the side of her observatory-deck. It’s a good thing she now has wings, I’ll tell you!” “Yeah, yeah, let’s just get back to her so that we can get this whole mess fixed.” Rainbow responded, throwing an angry glance the clones’ way. At this moment, Mrs. Cake came out of the kitchen. “Pinkie, dear, is everything going alright?” “Alright?” Dash said. “What about this scene even begins to strike you as alright?” “Really, dearie, this is just another day at Sugarcube Corner,” Mrs. Cake answered. “Mrs. Cake, you have to be really careful, like really really careful!” Pinkie said. “Get me out of here and don’t let any of me come back ever ever until I say the coast is clear, okay?” Mrs. Cake looked from Pinkie to Dash to the twins to the three Pinkie clones currently trying to make a discrete exit. With a shrug, she said, “Whatever you say, dear,” and walked back into the kitchen. “What was that?” Mr. Cake asked from within. “From what I can tell, Pinkie wants us to keep her locked out of the building,” Mrs. Cake responded. “When’d she become so sensible?” Mr. Cake asked. “Wait, I’m always sensible!” Pinkie said to herself as she listened to their conversation. “No time for that!” Rainbow Dash said. “Let’s just get upstairs so I can collect my stuff and then get out of here!” “But what about the Cakes?” Pinkie asked. “Oh, they’ll be fine!” Rainbow Dash reassured her. “We’ll have this all fixed before they even realize anything’s going on. Just wait till we get back to Twilight. I bet she’s got a plan worked out by now and everything!” Twilight held her eyes closed as she tried to concentrate. Concentrate on what she was trying to do. But no matter how much she tried, the pounding in her head was just too intense. Even something as simple as writing on the chalkboard had become an impossibility. Twilight looked at the white streaks she had just made. Some might have been inclined to think that they were symbolic of something, but Twilight knew they symbolized nothing more than the throbbing pain in her head. The chalk lowered. Twilight shook her head and turned away. She had hoped to set up a diagram or something, something to show the others in order to make sense of this mess. But how could she hope to do that, when she did not even have the presence of mind to concentrate on anything? Even if she was not suffering this pain, how could she even begin to make sense of the day’s events? “Okay, everything’s ready,” Spike said, carrying a large stack of suitcases, atop of which was perched Owlowiscious. “Are you sure you want to do this?” “It’s the only thing I can do,” Twilight said solemnly. A voice came from outside. “Y’all can open up this bubble-thing now. We’re back.” Twilight went to the doorway and saw that Applejack and Rarity had returned. And Applejack was not alone. She and Big Macintosh were together pulling a cart on which Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Granny Smith, and Winona all sat. Rarity cradled Opalescence, who just seemed bored to be there. Twilight nodded and, despite the difficulty and the pain, made the force-field transient enough to let her friends come through. “How’d it go?” she asked as they approached. “Well, I was a might too late to keep the clones from the farm,” Applejack said. “They infested the place worse than fruit bats during apple-bucking season. But luckily I managed to get everybody out in the nick of time.” “All those Pinkies are gonna give me nightmares!” Apple Bloom opined from the cart. “Eeyup,” Big Mac said. “Well, I didn’t have much better luck,” Rarity said. “Those cretin clones made off with nearly the entirety of my fall line!” “Yep, that’s a real tragedy if ever I heard one,” Applejack muttered. “Oh, but it simply is!” Rarity said. “This was going to be my finest fall yet!” “Isn’t every fall you’re finest fall yet?” “What can I say, darling? They say you can’t improve upon perfection, but somehow I always find a way. But luckily, I was at least able to save this.” Rarity pointed to the large floppy hat on her head. “Not my finest creation, but I think I might be able to make a new fall line out of it.” “As usual, you care more about your fall line than anything else,” Sweetie Belle said from the cart. “Oh, Sweetie Belle! Of course I. worried for your safety too! Why, when I saw you in that cart, my heart nearly stopped! But I thought you were supposed to be with mother and father today!” Rarity said. “Speaking of which, where are they, anyway?” “They’ll be fine,” Twilight assured her. “I’ve already taken care of it.” Just then, there was a rumbling sound. “Oh, no, not more clones!” Rarity said. “This is starting to really get on my nerves,” Applejack said. But it was not more clones. From the distance, in a cloud of smoke, came a large herd of animals, with a giant bear in the middle, leading them. And atop the bear was Fluttershy. Twilight let her and the animals in. Fluttershy slipped off the bear and onto the ground. “Now, I don’t want any of you to worry,” she said. “Twilight here is going to make everything all better, so that the mean Pinkies won’t scare you anymore!” “I just hope Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie get back here soon so that we can get this all sorted out,” Applejack said. “I think we’re in luck on that front,” Rarity said, point to the distance, “if that rainbow streak is any indication.” “You better get ready, Twilight,” Applejack said. “Doesn’t look like Rainbow’s stopping for anything.” Twilight made ready the force-field, and not a moment too soon. The streak did not stop. Rather, a rush of blue, pink, and rainbow tore straight through one of the windows of the library. From inside, a large crashing noise was heard. Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy all went inside to find a large pile of Daring Do books, trophy pieces, a Wonderbolts poster, a party-cannon, Tank and Gummy, and underneath it all, Rainbow Dash. And underneath Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie. “Hi, everypony!” Pinkie said, managing an enthusiastic wave from the bottom of the heap. Dash pulled herself and Pinkie out. “Okay, we’re back,” she said. “Pinkie found what she was looking for. And before you ask, I can promise you that it’s the real her.” “Oh, my!” Rarity said as she caught sight of Pinkie’s necklace. “Pinkie, my dear, I never knew you had such good taste!” “Oh, this thing?” Pinkie said with a hint of pride. “I just got it, actually. It was a gift from a friend of mine in my closet.” “A friend in her closet?” Fluttershy asked quietly. “Don’t ask,” Rainbow said. “Pinkie, I think you misunderstood a little,” Applejack said. “Twi wanted something that you’ve had for a while, so that it would have a personal connection to you and such.” “No, AJ, it’s fine,” Twilight said weakly. “I’ll be able to make do with this just as well. Now, everypony, stand back from Pinkie. We don’t have much time.” As the echoes of “Fun? Fun! Fun? Fun!” seemed to double above them – as though confirming Twilight’s claim – Pinkie began to glow with a maroon light, just as Twilight’s horn did the same. “Oooh, whatcha doing, Twilight?” Pinkie asked in excitement. “This is the spell, isn’t it? What’s it doing? What’s it doing? I guess you can’t tell me because you have to concentrate and all, but I can’t wait to find – Yyaaaaaaaahhhhhh!” Pinkie felt to the ground in agony, her screaming drowning out the cries of “Fun” from high above. All of her friends looked down in horror, all except for Twilight. “Stop it!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Stop it! You’re hurting her! What are you doing to her?” Rainbow rushed over and grabbed hold of Twilight, but by that time, Twilight had already stopped. Rainbow shook her, frantically repeating, “What did you do to her? What did you do?” Twilight only gave her a wobbly, dazed smile. “All finished,” she said. There were a number of loud thumps from the top of the tree. Clearly, the force-field was losing its effect. “It’s… it’s okay, Dashie,” Pinkie said, trying to stand up. “I’m… I’m fine… really….” Dash could tell that she was not fine and once more started shaking Twilight. “What is this? What is this? Is this your idea of a joke or something?” Twilight, with surprising strength, pushed Rainbow off of her and walked over to Pinkie. “I’m sorry I had to do that, Pinkie,” she said, “but it was the only way. As long as we could not tell you from the other Pinkies, both us and you were in danger. So I’ve bonded the necklace to your skin.” “You did what?” Applejack, Rarity, and Dash shouted together. “I’ll reverse it once the clones are gone,” Twilight said, “and I know another spell which should heal most of the scarring.” “Okay, Twilight, if you had to do it, you had to do it,” Pinkie said quietly. The others merely exchanged glances, none of them knowing what to say next. Finally, Applejack spoke up. “Er, I hate to interrupt this awkward silence and all… but just how do you intend to get rid of the clones, Twi?” “I don’t know,” Twilight answered. “You don’t know!” was the general response from her friends. Even Fluttershy joined in this time, making up for the fact that Pinkie was too weak to say anything. And then, a knock at the already open door. They all looked. There stood Mayor Mare. “Your Highness, all the preparations you requested are in order,” Mayor Mare said. “I’ve gathered as many of the townsfolk as I could and we’re ready to leave as soon as you give the word.” “Leave?” Rainbow Dash said. “Who said anything about leaving?” “I did,” Twilight said. “This is what I’ve been doing while the rest of you were gone. Making preparations for our departure from the town.” “You just want us to leave?” Dash snapped. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” “I don’t like it any more than you do,” Twilight said, “but we have to face facts. I don’t know how to stop the Pinkies. None of us do. We can’t do anything about them now, so the only thing we can do is try and protect everypony else from them. We have to get them out of here while we still have the chance.” “You mean….” Applejack began, unable to give further articulation to such a notion. “I’m afraid so. We have to face the truth.” Twilight’s face grew darker. “Ponyville has fallen.” Would they escape Ponyville? Read on.