It was surprisingly dark, he noticed.
Wait. He noticed something? That was odd in itself, actually. While he remembered having some consciousness while a statue (he knew very well dear Celestia let her phoenix perch on his head sometimes), but he hardly noticed changes in the light. Something was up, and it was unsettling.
Although his eyelids felt incredibly heavy, he forced them open to see a mass of brown, green, and black. Blinking a few times, his vision stopped being foggy as he saw he was in a woods—The Everfree Forest, he reasoned. Wait, how did he get to the Everfree Forest? The grounds he usually was at was quite a ways from here.
He stood on shaky legs and promptly fell over. He growled a little, looking at them, though gasped in slight horror to find they were hoofed. Looking at his back legs, he saw they were hoofed, too, and there were two wings on his back, a small, black spiral just after them.
A pegasus? But he was a Draconequus! What kind of surreal illusion was this? Flapping his wings a few times, he hovered a few inches above the ground, much more used to flight then walking on four legs. How did ponies do it?
His head turning back and forth, he suddenly found a sign painted purple. It said, in swirly blue lettering: The Great and Marvelous city of Jadeite, only a few seconds in this direction. -->
Jadeite? Since when was that a city? It wasn’t even a pun. Nevertheless, deciding anywhere was better then a forest (because, let’s be honest, unless you were a magical zebra or some wild beast, forests were not the best places to live in), Discord fluttered in the direction the arrow helpfully pointed out. He began wondering blankly if some things (including, apparently, his species) had drastically changed while he was inanimate, if this was some cruel psychological prank by somepony—the first to come to mind was Luna—or if he had broken the dimensional border while a statue. He preferred the last option, since it really just made him sound more awesome.
Quickly he made it from the forest to the rim of the city, only to find—to his utter dismay and slight confusion—Jadeite looked exactly like Ponyville. Well, why go through all the trouble of naming it if you were going to keep it the same? Really, it seemed like a waste of time. Discord glanced around at all the ponies doing mundane things, coming to the conclusion that…Yeah, if this was an alternate dimension; it was a really stupid one.
Suddenly, and rather unexpectedly, a pony caught his eye. Levitating a suitcase next to her, she was purple, streaks in her darker mane and tail. W-wait, was that—It couldn’t be—It was! But how did she get here? Didn’t alternate dimensions have different pony populations? Figuring he had very little to lose, he flittered over to the mare, slightly confused. “Twilight Sparkle?”
Her head turned, and he lurched back.
Her eyes looked as though they were rimmed with crazy, wearing a smile that wavered between ‘sickly-sweet’ and ‘insane psychopath’. Her mane, now that he looked closer at it, was ruffled beyond all belief, and even the magic glow around her horn seemed more jagged then smooth and wavy.
“Helloooooo.” She said, drawing out the word more then necessary, only serving to kind of creep Discord out. “What’s yooooooour naaaaaaameeee?”
“Oh, please, I might be a pegasus, but I’m hardly that forgettable.”
She stared at him blankly.
“Discord! God of chaos and disharmony!”
She kept her blank look for a few more seconds before erupting into shrill laughter, almost rolling on the ground. He noticed some ponies looking at her a tad strangely, but they all seemed not to care all that much. Maybe insane ponies were just common in this alternate dimension.
“Yoooooou can’t beeeee Discooooord!” She choked between laughs, somehow keeping up her streaching-out-words verbal pattern. “Eeeeeeverypooooony knows that Diiiiiiiscord hauuuunts the Everfreeeee Foreeeeeest!”
Haunts? He was a force to be reckoned with in this place! He was proud for all of three seconds, since then he remembered he was still here. Sigh. Deciding he didn’t want to seem very vain and ask about himself in this place, he asked, “What’s with the briefcase?”
Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth, as though somepony was watching them. “I’ll teeeeell yoooooou inside.” She promised before bolting into her library (something was normal here, gasp), the briefcase following behind. Sighing, Discord followed her.
The minute he entered, the door slammed shut and the lights flickered a bit. Oh dear Celestia, she was going to kill him, wasn’t she!? Discord turned around quickly and fumbled with the doorknob, but since he was still incredibly clumsy with hooves he could barely turn it an inch.
“Where are yooooooou goooooooing? Weeeeeee’ll haaaave a nice chaaaaaaat after I take my toooooonic.”
Why did just the drawn-out word ‘tonic’ make his heart jump a beat? He turned around slowly, watching Twilight levitate a small bottle filled with thick, dark blue liquid next to her head. “You’re sooooo juuuuumpy.” She scolded Discord before downing about a third of the bottle’s contents in one gulp.
“I wouldn’t be so jumpy if you didn’t look like you wanted to kill me!” He hissed.
Twilight eyed him. “Murder? That would be highly unprofessional, wouldn’t you say?”
That tonic was some strong stuff. Twilight had gone from looking like a crazed murderer to looking, well, like herself, albeit a bit colder and sharper. She smirked a little, opening the briefcase and organizing the papers. “Yes, what is it that you want?”
“…You’re joking, right?”
“You did break in, I expect you to at least have a motive.”
So when undergoing the whole Jekyll-Hyde process (which did beg the question of which personality was the default, but really he didn’t want to know), she had lost some memory. Oh, swell. “When you were a crazy pony, you let me in.”
“I highly doubt that. I am a lawyer, and this library is not a hotel. Talking of which, I have another case tomorrow.”
Mildly curious, he asked, “Who against?”
“Princess Celestia. She’s been my opponent for the last month or two. She says if I win, I’m banished from Equestria.”
Well, banishment was something dear Celestia did so very well. “And if you lose?”
“My client makes me do it again. It’s a favor, really. I’m already in bad debt to her.”
Lawyers were one of the most boring types of pony. However, he was talking to Twilight Sparkle, element of magic, so he should be asking more important questions, such as, “Know anything about alternate dimensions?”
She shot him a look that made him cringe. “Do I look like it, Mister…”
“Discord.” He replied, “And yes.”
Twilight snickered. “Discord. I’ve heard of princess impostors, but Discord imposters…? Nopony in their right mind would do it.”
Discord stomped a hoof, which made no sound, due to the fact he was still hovering above the ground. “I am Discord, one and only, God of chaos and disharmony, ruler of Equestria--”
“And a bragger with a big ego.” She finished, opening the door via magic and gesturing with her head. “Now, please, leave. I have evidence to restock. We’ll talk about your identity issues some other day.”
“I can hardly comprehend what you don’t understand, I AM Discord!”
A magical glow surrounded his body, and then threw him out of the library and onto the street, sprawled on his back. “And stay out!” Twilight snapped coldly, the library’s door slamming shut behind him.
“Gladly!” Discord snapped back, struggling to straighten himself up. He attempted to stand on his hind hooves, under the illusion that that would make his travelling endeavors easier, only to find it did not as he landed on his face.
Ponies snickered at him. He growled low back at them.
Flapping his wings again, he flew only inches above ground. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Why couldn’t he have been reincarnated into a unicorn? At least then he would have had magic to his aid.
Suddenly, a patch of sky just above him darkened. Irritated from both this and his encounter with Twilight Sparkle, he looked up to see a pitch-black storm cloud. Great, context-sensitive weather. Was there anything this dimension didn’t have besides, I don’t know, sanity?
However, under closer inspection, he noticed something blue rearranging the clouds in the sky, moving every cloud to it’s perfect position and then moving it again. It was a pegasus.
He smiled a little. A pegasus that left a little rainbow trail wherever it went.