Now completely on edge after her run in the with the guards, Rainbow Dash tried to calm down with a flight around the palace as she plotted her next move. I need to establish a prime suspect and find confirmation. She blinked at her choice of words. Huh. I guess Celestia making me read Sherlock Hooves wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
She had just swerved round one of the castle’s many towers when Dash heard an anguished scream. That’s Rarity! “Hold on Rarity, I’m coming!” She angled herself around and flew towards the balcony window. It was closed but that wasn’t a problem for her. She had an all-purpose key.
CRASH!
Luckily, the windows in the castle were reinforced—something that was done after a speedy flyby from Rainbow Dash shattered them one time—so the windows were flung inwards instead of shattering into a thousand tiny, sharp pieces. Always a plus.
Having been unfortunately familiar with the procedure of a crash, Rainbow tucked and rolled until she came to a stop, springing to her hooves. She looked around for any sign of bad guys. “All right, I’m here! What’s the problem?”
“THAT!” Rarity shrieked, pointing behind Rainbow Dash. Without a moment’s hesitation, Rainbow turned around and pounced on a…ponyquin in a half-completed dress?
“The hay? What is this?” Dash demanded.
Rarity dramatically threw a hoof across her face. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out.” She shuddered. “The design started out as Prench haute couture but then I tried incorporating a Canterlot trend that relied too much on some sheer silk because that's what all the best ponies have been wearing lately, and now it’s just an awful mess!”
A martyred groan escaped Rainbow as she facehoofed. “Seriously? That’s what all the screaming was about?”
An indignant huff greeted her question. “Really now, Rainbow Dash. How would you feel if everypony said your designs were closer to prêt-à-porter than proper high fashion?” The vacant stare on Rainbow’s face spoke volumes. “Oh, all right then; how about if somepony said your Sonic Rainboom was nothing more than cheap circus trick?”
“Well, that’s dumb.” Rainbow shrugged in an off-hoofed way.
Rarity regarded her with growing anger, her face flushing red. “Dumb?” Her voice sounded strained, trying to sound casual. In the next instant she completely abandoned any semblance of casualness as she began to shriek. “DUMB?! How can you be so insensitive?!”
“Whoa, easy Rarity!” Rainbow held up her hooves. “I meant calling my Rainboom a circus trick would be dumb! Settle back, Rares!”
Rarity, having gone from calm to shrieking in ten seconds flat, proved just as fast in going the other way. She put a hoof to her forehead and wailed dramatically. “Oh Rainbow Dash, this is simply awful! I don't know what to do or how I could possibly fix this disaster!”
“What, you mean the dresses and stuff?” Dash took a quick look around. The room was full of ponyquins with dresses and a few suits in various stages of completion. Half-finished sketches practically coated the floor. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem, dear Rainbow, is that I have to design and make a host of dresses for Cadance, for her bridesmaids—that would be us, in case you forgot—and her flower fillies.” Rarity looked at her critically. “That means, before you ask, that I have to make sure each dress not only suitably matches the wearer, not clashing with their coat or mane color, but also does not clash with the other dresses. They need to make each pony look wonderful while not having the party as a whole become a cluttered mess.” She rubbed her face wearily. “And since the Gala Wedding is such an event, I have orders coming in from some of the most well-known and well-regarded ponies in Canterlot.”
Rainbow tilted her head and whistled. “Guess that means you’ve been pretty busy, huh?”
Rarity bristled, puffing and bristling like her evil cat. “Pretty busy? I have been working my hooves to the bone! I’m practically drowning in requests and simply don’t have the time to do them all!”
“Well, aren’t you just supposed to do the wedding dresses and stuff? I mean, it sucks, but if you can’t do all the requests for the elites and snobs or whatever, then no big deal.”
“No big deal?! These are the crème de la crème of Canterlot society!” Rarity goggled at Rainbow, pacing up and down in front of her. “If I pass on these orders I’d offend them and miss my chance to become one of them! My business will never grow! I-I might lose my home! My dreams! I won’t be able to get enough business to not be left starving on the streets! No I could end up homeless or worse—move back in with my parents!”
Dash felt her eyes widen. “Whoa, Rarity, calm down!”
“How can I be calm when I'm one single mistake on one of dozens of dresses away from being kicked out of my home, eating scavenged garbage and—” Rarity’s voice rose a couple of octaves “—living in a cart down by the river!” Her eyes widened, the corners of her eyes twitching. “Can you just imagine the state my mane would be in? There would be dirt and twigs everywhere! I would be a hideous monster!”
“Rarity!” Rainbow grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “Snap out of it!”
Having stopped her tirade, the white unicorn immediately fell about bawling into Rainbow’s shoulder. “Oh Rainbow Da-a-a-ash!” She wailed. “I don’t know what to do! There’s no way I can get all the dresses done on time!”
Rainbow started to awkwardly pat Rarity’s back. “Er, what about Fluttershy? Isn’t she helping?”
Rarity sniffled, “Oooh, I’ve scarcely seen her. Too busy with all her little animal friends, I’m sure…How could she abandon me in my hour of need?”
Rainbow narrowed her eyes slightly. “That wasn’t very … generous.”
“I’m the one who could use a little generosity right now!” Rarity cried as she pulled herself away, frantically looking from design to design. “Rainbow Dash, you lived in Canterlot! You know some of the Elite! You simply must tell me what they like!”
“Er, well they like things that are…fancy. So just make all your dresses fancier.” She looked around. “I think they need to be about twenty percent fancier.”
A strangled little noise rose in the back of Rarity’s throat. “Could you be a little more specific…please? What do you think of this one?” She pulled up a long strapless dress. The floor length cloth looked very fine and its sheen looked so bright, Rainbow could bet a tailor begged Celestia for a few strands of hair (and might have won). “You would not believe the bolts I was given by the princess. And a gem brooch on a gentle pleated side for a hint of fabulosity.”
Rainbow looked it over. She tilted her head to one side and walked around it for a better view. Of course, it might have helped if she knew what she was looking for. Rainbow scratched her muzzle as Rarity waited anxiously, sweat beading at her brow. “Looks okay,” Rainbow announced finally. “Very bright.”
“‘Bright’? ‘Okay’?” Rarity repeated. “That’s it?”
“Well,” Rainbow fished for something more to say. “Maybe you could make something like ...like...”
Rarity’s teeth began to grind together. “Yeees?”
“Like—oh! How about some wicked battle armor? Or a dress that's like battle armor!”
Dash blurted out. “The snobs know the guards are important, so maybe dressing like them will make them feel important, right?” She looked back to see Rarity’s jaw had dropped open.
“I—I … wha?” She was speechless. Probably from too much awesomeness, Rainbow decided. And hey, It’s good to remind ponies that I’m full of great ideas. I’m not just the single best flyer in Equestria, after all.
“I know! Isn't it a totally awesome idea?” Dash grinned. “They’ll totally look great at the wedding rehearsal.”
Rarity’s eye twitched again. “Wedding…rehearsal? They’re needed by then?”
Rainbow nodded. “Well, yeah, didn’t anypony tell you? They’re gonna have the rehearsal two days before the wedding itself, in full dress and everything. Make sure the band plays right, make sure the guards are…guarding or whatever. So the dresses have to be done in, what, five days?”
She started to feel worried by Rarity’s long silence. The other pony stood frozen still, almost as if she’d seen a cockatrice, were it not for the periodic twitching of her eye. “Rainbow? Be a dear, and pick up a few gallons of ice cream from the kitchen for me, would you?” Her voice was calm. Too calm.
Rainbow swallowed nervously. This wasn’t gonna end well. At the same time, she didn’t want to set foot in the kitchen until Ramsay and Applejack had things sorted out. If they ever did. “Uh .... I really don't wanna go to the kitchens right now.”
Rarity’s eye twitch started becoming more frequent. “Well, excuse me for asking for a bit of stress relief. After all, I just found I won't be getting much sleep for the next several days…” She whirled around and violently ripped a mostly completed dress from a ponyquin. “But it’s not like it really matters! Nooo, because as soon as I’m done, somepony will show up to tell me how they hate it! ‘No Rarity, we want something with more ruffles. No, that’s too much ruffles, put in some more lace!’” She dragged another dress over to Rainbow Dash, practically shoving it in her face. “Tell me what you think of this dress! It was custom designed by Lady High Brow!”
Rainbow took a half step back from the outfit, which was marked by zigzagging orange and green stripes. “What? I’m no expert—”
Rarity pressed in on her. “Tell me.”
“It’s fine, Rarity--”
“Tell me, tell me tell me tell me-Tell me!”
“Ugh, okay okay! Give me a second.” Rainbow eyed the dress the first thing that came to her mind was, It looks like you peeled it off a dead clown. But deciding she couldn’t say that to Rarity, what she ended up saying was, “I like it!”
“You hesitated.” Rarity narrowed her eyes.
“Wha? Well--I was--uh, thinking for the right words! Because it's sophisticated, so it needs sophisticated words.” That sounded better in Rainbow’s head.
Rarity stamped her hoof. “Ooh you’re just saying that! You think its hideous!” She began to dramatically wail and sob again.
“What?!” A flabbergasted Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I never said that!”
“You didn’t have to!” Rarity shook the dress in front of her. “Just look at this monstrosity! It's not fit to be a dishrag!” She tore it lengthwise.
The senseless destruction of fashion by the high queen of all things fashion confused and scared the hay out of Dash. “Come on, it just needs a little work...I mean, I could even help out if you want.”
In another sudden mood shift, Rarity sighed and swooned against Rainbow Dash. “Oh, thank you so much, darling. I simply don't know what I would do without you.”
Dealing with Rarity was like trying to talk down a lightning cloud sometimes... “Sure thing! So uh...where's the tape?”
There was a long pause. “Tape?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah. You know, to put the different pieces of dress together! Or do you use glue? Not my first choice, but you’re the fashionista.”
There was another, even longer pause. Dash wondered what was up with that. “You don't know how to sew?” Rarity said weakly.
“Well, no.” Rainbow admitted. “But I figure it can't be that hard, right?” She looked around, spotting a closed door on the other side of the room. “Is the stuff we need in there?” Before she could take more than a few steps forward, Rarity--in an admittedly impressive display of speed--had thrown herself between Dash and the door.
“No!” Her eyes bulged slightly. “You can’t go in there! You mustn’t!”
Rainbow tried tilting her head so she could love around the panicked unicorn. “Aw, c’mon Rarity, what’s the big deal? You got a secret boyfriend stashed away in there?”
Rarity harumphed and looked Rainbow squarely in the eye. “Do. Not. Go in. That. Room. Are we clear?”
As much as Rainbow hated to admit it, Rarity could be pretty intimidating when she put her mind to it. And the way her eye was twitching warned the normally brash pegasus not to press her look. “Clear...so, uh, how about I just go on some errands instead?”
“I think that would be best.” Rarity nodded primly as she levitated over a list long enough to rival one of Twilight’s checklists. “Now, I realize you’re busy with your own preparations and making sure everypony is on task. So I won’t ask you to get every item on this list.” She added, seeing Rainbow’s jaw drop. “If you could just fetch me a few items, I would be ever so appreciative.”
“Uh, sure. No...problem?” Rainbow tilted her head at some of the items on the list. She didn’t even recognize three-quarters of them. “Where do I find these?”
“Well, there's Salon de Fabrique, Le Mare Couture, Bonne Fashione…” Rarity pulled out a map and made tiny marks at various locations all over the city. Even with Rainbow’s speed, it would take all day to go in and out of all these shops, plus hauling around whatever it was she was getting for Rarity.
Still...Rainbow thought Rarity looked pretty stressed. “Okay, I got it. Be back in a flash!” Grabbing the list and the map, she dove backwards out of the tower. She spread her wings and with a wild whoop, righted herself and headed for the first location. Easy peasy. I’ll grab whatever couple of things Rarity needs and be on my way.
She spotted a fancy-looking store with large display windows and a name written in curvy letters that she couldn’t read. Gotta be the right place. Rainbow headed inside and looked around. “Um, hello? I need a little help here.”
“Com-iiing!” A unicorn in a fancy dress trotted out, all smiles--until she noticed Rainbow Dash and her lack of attire. “Yes? May I...help you?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, I need to buy some stuff.”
“Stuff.” The unicorn’s smile faded another fraction. “Might I suggest you try the local Bit store?”
“I need fashion stuff,” Dash rolled her eyes before consulting her list. “For the wedding? Like--camel souls?” I really hope Rarity isn’t getting into dark magic...
The shop pony was equally nonplussed. “I take it you meant camisoles?”
“Uh, sure. Isn’t that what I said?”
“No.” The unicorn rubbed her face wearily. “Will that be all?”
Dash checked the list. “Uh, I need some taffy-tea…”
“Taffeta?” The shop pony corrected with a sniff.
Rainbow wondered if she had a cold. “Yeah and--so wrong?”
“That’s sarong.” The clerk sighed, preparing herself for a long ordeal. On that at least, she and Rainbow Dash were agreed.
Three stores and several hours later, Rainbow flew back to the tower, laden with all manner of sewing supplies and rolls of fabric. I’ve known thunderclouds that were less disagreeable...she thought bitterly to herself. Still, if it took some pressure off Rarity, it’d be worth it. Especially when she’d land and Rarity would thank her by saying….
“Oh blast, I needed one more bolt of lace. Rainbow, would you be a dear…?” Rarity called as she gathered up the supplies with her magic, getting back to work without another moment’s thought.
Dash sighed. Well, I guess I can do one more tiny errand before I go on my way...
After returning with a bolt of fabric as thick as a hundred year-old oak tree, Rainbow Dash prepared to fly off when Rarity chimed, "One more thing…”
Rainbow grumbled as she flew back from the same store for the third time. How am I supposed to know that ribbon was crimson and not red? Or cinnamon? Or cherry? For pony’s sake--they’re all featherin’ RED!
And seriously, she asks for ‘ripe plum fabric?' Not 'pinkish red' or 'purple' or even 'plum,' but 'ripe plum'? Next time I'll get the whole bunch of 'em and let her make a fruit salad dress.
She had barely set her hooves down on the tower balcony than Rarity’s voice rang out with, “one more thing...”
As soon as Rainbow Dash returned this time, she was immediately set out again with the promise that it was just “one more thing”
And again.
“Just one…”
And again.
“...more…”
And again.
“...thing.”
Rainbow grumbled as she flew back to the tower for the seventh time. If she heard the phrase “just one more thing” one more time…
A scowl set on Rainbow’s face as she thought about how Rarity could’ve just given the list to some guard or palace aide, maybe split it up a bit, and she could’ve had everything she needed without wasting her valuable time. It’s not like anypony else has anything as important to do as me, what with trying to stop a freakin’ changeling invasion!
That thought planted fresh seeds of doubt in Rainbow’s mind. Maybe that’s just what ‘Rarity’ wants…for me to be too busy running around to do anything about the changelings.
The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Rarity’s secrecy around what was behind that door, her bizarre mood shifts, her downright obsession with getting in with the Canterlot elite…If a changeling spy got in with the elites that’d give them a whole lot of powerful, influential ponies they could replace. They’ve done it before.
Rainbow Dash hovered outside the window, peeking in. Rarity was darting from workstation to workstation, making a stitch here, adjusting a hem there. She stopped for a moment to wipe her brow … just as somepony knocked at the door. Rainbow’s eyes narrowed as she saw who Rarity let in: Jet Set and Upper Crust. They were a living caricature of all the worst aspects of Canterlot culture: stuck up, spoiled, haughty, obnoxious, condescending and all around pains in the flank. Hay, Dash would even rate them as slightly worse than Blueblood—at least he was a prince and thus had a reason (a lame one) to think he was better than everypony else. Those two didn’t even have that. If I described them to anypony who hadn’t met them, they’d think I was making up a stereotype. That’s all they really are though.
While Rainbow eventually came to conclude that some high-class ponies like Fancy Pants were actually pretty cool, Jet Set and Upper Crust would need to be encased in ice for a week before they ever even got close.
The worst part? They were the aunt and uncle of Tiffany, a particularly spoiled brat who Rainbow had given some dental reconstruction to—courtesy of her hoof.
She pushed those memories aside as she watched and listened in on them. “…this is the dress I designed for you, dear Upper Crust. As you requested I drew inspiration from Hoity Toity’s spring line of formal wear, but did so in a way that emphasizes your…unique attributes.”
Like drawing attention away her fat flank, Rainbow translated.
Upper Crust hmmed and examined the dress. “Well, it’s an improvement over your earlier design,” she drawled. “Not that it was difficult to do so, however.” She frowned. “No no no, I want the trim to be in orange. Orange is Princess Cadance’s favorite color, and I want to make a good impression. The same goes for Jet Set’s suit.”
Rainbow Dash--who knew Cadance a heck of a lot better than Upper Crust--didn’t think Cadance’s favorite color was orange. And more to the point, even if it was, she wasn’t suddenly going to like an obvious snob like Jet Set or Upper Crust just because they wore it.
Dash didn’t know much about fashion: she almost never wore clothes when she didn’t have to, didn’t know the difference between red, cherry and cinnamon, and certainly didn’t get why black was the new black. But even she could tell that the dress Upper Crust was having Rarity design was pretty awful.
She waited for Rarity to tell them why that design would be a crime against all things fashionable. This ought to be good…
“...That’s a most delightful idea!” Rarity walked over to Upper Crust, smiling widely. “Orange it is.”
Rainbow blinked, hastily rubbed a hoof in her ear before listening in again. I couldn’t have just heard that. That dress looks like something Opal dragged in through her litterbox. That was when she noticed Rarity’s smile was a touch too wide and how she hesitated before making a comment that didn’t sound totally sincere.
So, Rarity hadn’t totally lost her mind. But for the life of her, Rainbow Dash couldn’t figure out why. She knows those clothes would be terrible...it’d probably even make her look bad for having made them. So why do it? The Rarity I know would never let her name get dragged through the mud like that.
While it had taken Rainbow a bit of time to realize it, she’d found that Rarity wasn’t her polar opposite, as she had first thought. Rarity was driven and ambitious. She had her own goals and desires outside of everyday Ponyville life and she was determined to succeed--to not only be better than everypony else, but better in new and different ways: to impress ponies not by copying others, but to a blaze a whole new trail for others to follow.
After Jet Set and Upper Crust left, Rainbow landed and headed inside, depositing her latest pile of ‘one more things’ on the floor. “Hey.”
Rarity gave a surprised little jump at the sudden sound. “Rainbow Dash, you frightened me!”
“Sorry.” Dash’s tone didn’t sound the least bit apologetic. She tensed, waiting for what she knew was coming…Only it didn’t. Rarity recovered from her sudden surprise and slumped, looking utterly spent. “Uh, you okay?”
“Oh fine darling, simply fine!” Rarity suddenly straightened up and plastered a smile on her face. “I just got some new feedback from some my clientele. They had the most ...interesting suggestions.” Her eye twitched slightly. “But I have something for you!” A dress floated over from a ponyquin on the far side of the room. “I wanted you to take a sneak peek at your bridesmaid dress!” She beamed proudly.
Rainbow’s face contorted in a mixture of loathing, shock, horror and disbelief. How in Equestria could anything be that ruffly and pink?! It looked as though Rarity had snapped and scalped Pinkie Pie and made a dress out of her mane. It seemed to suck all the cool out of the room, creating a zone of, well, anti-cool.
Dash goggled, wondering how on Equestria (and why) Rarity would ever think she would like that...thing. It’s like she doesn’t even know me at all! The stray thought led her back to her earlier suspicions about being sent on a wild-griffon chase all over the city.
“...Seriously, Rarity?” Rainbow looked at her incredulously.
“Is something wrong?” Rarity asked, her smile getting even wider. Like a shark.
“Well, it’s kinda--” She looked for just the right word. “Pink. Like, really pink. And ruffly. It looks, well, sissy.”
“You don’t like it.” Rarity’s voice was flat and hard as steel. “Well, of course you don’t like it!” She let out a frustrated scream as she tossed the dress aside.
Slightly nervous, Rainbow Dash took a half step back as Rarity raised a hoof...only to press it dramatically against her forehead “Woe is me! No pony likes my designs! When I make things the way I want, the nobles complain. When I make things the way they want, then Cadance complains, and now you hate your dress too and this is all turning into a complete disaster!”
After a couple of failed attempts, Rainbow managed to work her jaw enough to get out a soft, “I’m sorry, Rares…”
“Oh yes, you're sorry and Cadance is sorry and you're all sorry, but you still hate my designs!”
She began to bawl. “Go away! Leave me alone!
Rainbow flattened her ears against her head, feeling low. “Rarity...I--”
“I said I VANT TO BE ALONE!”
Somehow feeling even worse, Rainbow Dash beat a hasty retreat. The last thing she heard as she flew out was the sound of heavy sobbing punctuated by the odd nom of Rarity gorging herself on ice cream.