//------------------------------// // Assumptions (Rarity and 9th Doctor Whooves, Crossover/Comedy) // Story: Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots // by Bombastic Bookpony //------------------------------// “Don’t worry, Rarity, I just contacted Celestia, and as a hero and close friend of the Princessesses, your boutique will be rebuilt and restocked at no charge and as fast as possible!” “Thank you, dear, but where ever shall I live in the meantime?” “Us! With us! I mean, if you wanna.” “Thank you for the offer, Spikey, but I’d rather live somewhere more... private.” “You could, um, live with me, if you want.” “That sounds amazing, Fluttershy dear. Thank you.” “Yeah, and don’t worry, we’ll find the punk who did this and teach him a lesson!” “Darn tootin we will!” “You sure you didn’t see anything Rarity? There had to be some clue! Unless he’s a ninja! Or an alien hunter! Or even worse, an alien hunter ninja from outer space!” “Isn’t alien hunter ninja from outer space a bit redundant, Pinkie? And, er, yes. I didn’t see anypony.” Rarity sighed as she laid on one of Fluttershy’s couches. The hut certainly looked fantastic, and Fluttershy was a complete dear about the whole thing, but it just wasn’t the same as her wonderful boutique! That Doctor! He ruined everything! Why I didn’t set everypony on his trail I’ll never know! Now all I’m left with is a few mannequins and some scraps! If I’ll ever see him again, I’ll-I’ll- A ring at the door. Rarity got off the couch and made way to the door. “Sorry, but Fluttershy’s out helping animals at the moment,” she began, “but I could tell her-” when she opened the door, she was met with a face she had both hoped and dreaded seeing again. “You!” she and the Doctor both shouted at once. “Just my luck, just my bloody luck! Why are you around everywhere I go!?” “You make it sound as though I burned down your house! What, my boutique wasn’t enough? Need to burn down this hut too?” “Hopefully not! I’m just here because I found an Auton signal and it’s originating from here! So unless you want to be murdered by fashion, I suggest you let me in and let me do my job!” “Fine!” she harrumphed, opening the door fully and letting the Doctor in. “Thank you,” he said with a smile. “What’s this? Gratitude? From you? Are you an Axel imposter!?” she yelled sarcastically. “It’s Auton and, ha ha, no. I’m the genuine article, the one and only, the definite article, if you will.” “Ah, there’s the arrogance I missed ever so much. How about I make you some tea while you burn- I mean, investigate, hm?” Let nopony say I am not a lady! “That would be much appreciated. Saving Equestria gets a stallion quite thirsty.” She made her way into the kitchen and began preparing the drink. “So, Doctor, where are you from?” she called. “You wouldn’t have heard of it,” he called back offhandedly. “What’s your real name?” “I told you, the Doctor!” “That’s your real name?” she shouted. “Yup!” “I am trying to be polite here!” “Are you? Well, there’s a first time for anyth-” Suddenly, he just stopped. “Doctor? Doctor!” But he did not reply. What if he’s being attacked? Without a further thought, she turned off the stove and left the tea behind, sprinting to the Doctor’s aid. Only to find him mockingly holding a mannequin’s hoof around his mouth. “Oh ha ha, Doctor, you are hilarious and soooo mature. I actually thought you were in danger, and for some reason I actually worried about you! That might be the most insane thing to happen since you’ve tumbled into my life!” He just continued to choke. “Doctor, are you even listening?” His eyes conveyed irritation even as he grew redder. Oh, so I’m the annoying one for not going along with your stupid joke! Well! “Listen to me!” she exclaimed, and proceeded to smack the Doctor so hard the hoof flew off his face, and onto hers. “OW!” The Doctor exclaimed. “UMPH!” Rarity exclaimed at the same time. “Just hold still, Miss Rarity, I’ll get this off you in a second.” He brought out his Sonic Screwdriver and used it on the hoof, until it finally dropped from Rarity’s face. “You okay?” “My life used to be normal. Normal by Ponyville standards anyway,” she gasped out. “Mine too. Wasn’t it so boring?” he asked with a grin. “I hate you. I hate you more than anything else in existence.” “There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” “Hamle- Wha?” “Basically, Miss Rarity, don’t make assumptions. There are a lot of hateable things out there. Believe me, I know.” A moment of silence. “How’d you get so good at slapping?” “I’ve had a lot of practice.” “Huh.”