//------------------------------// // What Makes Progress // Story: What It Means To Be A Mother // by FabulousDivaRarity //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash sat in her bed, wide awake in the middle of the night. She doubted that she'd get any sleep. The excitement of her daughter's flying for the first time had made sure of that. She sighed to herself. Every parent held some reservations about their child growing up. Flying was a huge milestone in the growth process. She had put on a good face for her daughter but in reality she was scared stiff. Not just about her growing up, but of the danger that came with flying. She had never gotten to experience her foal growing inside her. She hadn't gotten to watch her grow up and change, which is likely why she was struggling so much with this change. She was not above borrowing a few parenting books to try and ride the wave. When a foal worked on a big skill, like walking or talking, they regressed in other areas. It was almost like their brain couldn't handle everything at once, so they had to hit the reset button on other things they'd already mastered. She could never have guessed that her daughter was thinking about more of the same. Scootaloo had been lying awake for hours. Her first flight was exhilarating. She couldn't wait to go again. With this privilege, however, came great expectation. There was so much responsibility that came with flying, responsibility she wasn't sure she could handle. The truth of the matter was that she was afraid to grow up. She had spent so much of her life focused on survival. She had never had a real childhood. Now that she had a stable home, she yearned for the love and attention that came with it. She wanted to ask for it so badly, but was afraid. Rejection wasn't impossible. Unlikely, perhaps, but even the slight chance made her scared stiff. This was her time. She knew that the next morning she had to ask. She didn't want to leave anything to chance. She worked up her nerve, captured the feeling of courage she needed, and finally fell asleep. The next morning came with a beautiful sunrise. Rainbow woke up and prepared breakfast for herself and her child. The smell of pancakes and bacon wafted upstairs. Scootaloo smelled it and ran downstairs. Her eyes lit up at the spread before her, and she immediately started filling her plate. Rainbow smiled and shook her head. Scootaloo waited until Rainbow to sit down before she talked about what was on her mind. "Can I ask you something?" "Sure, anything." "Were you ever afraid to grow up? Or scared of responsibility?" Rainbow knew where she was going with that. "Growing up is always scary, no matter how old you are." "I didn't get to be a kid..." "And you feel like you'll never grow up right if you don't get to be, right?" "How did you-" "I can see it in your face." "So can you-" "Yes. Of course I will." Scootaloo hugged her Mother tightly. A little mollycoddling never hurt any pony, Rainbow thought. She wanted her daughter to feel free to express every part of herself, even the parts she didn't like. She wanted her child to have everything under the sun. She knew that wasn't going to be easy, but knew her effort would be worth it if it turned Scootaloo into a well adjusted mare. The things Scootaloo asked for were not unreasonable. They were small, almost inconsequential things that made a huge difference to her. She asked for some time at the end of the day to talk about what happened. She wanted to be cuddled a little bit at night. She kept her pacifier and blanket on hand at all times when she was at home. It was emotional security that she needed. Rainbow was secretly thrilled to treat her daughter this way. It was her own way of getting in the years she missed. She was just as committed to this as her foal was. While Scootaloo was learning to fly, she was learning how to meet the emotional needs of her child. Often times she fell asleep completely exhausted, but it was a fulfilling kind of fatigue. So far this had been a secret between them, but Rainbow had been so happy all of the time that her friends had noticed the change. Today, she decided to talk to Fluttershy about it. After work, she made the short trip over to Fluttershy's cottage. She knocked gently on the door, wondering how she'd explain the current happenings at home. Fluttershy opened the door and smiled. "Hello, Rainbow Dash." "Hey, Fluttershy. Do you have a minute to talk?" "Of course! Come on in." Rainbow walked into the familiar cottage. Angel hopped toward the other Pegasus before going to sit on the couch. Rainbow went with her friend into the kitchen and sat at the dining room table. Fluttershy poured them both a cup of tea. Rainbow put a spoonful of sugar into her teacup and stirred. She took a sip before sighing. "Thanks for the tea." "No problem. Is something bothering you?" "Sort of, but it's a good thing." "Oh? I'd love to hear about it." "Remember how I came to you a couple weeks ago about letting go of Scoots?" "Yes." "Well, a few days ago she talked to me about being afraid of growing up. I did a little bit of reading and I found out that when a foal is working on big things like walking and talking, they slip when it comes to other things they've already mastered. Since she's learning how to fly, which is a huge thing, we agreed to babying her. She never got to be a kid, so we're fixing that. She doesn't feel emotionally safe, so I've been working myself to the bone trying to fix it." Fluttershy smiled. "I'm so proud of you for doing that for her." "Any pony would have done the same thing." "Not any pony." Rainbow blushed. "Thanks, Fluttershy." "You're welcome. Can I ask you a question?" "Sure." "Why did you want to tell me?" "Because no pony understands like you." Fluttershy gave a small smile. "Thank you." Rainbow nodded. "Do you mind if you keep this between us?" "You have my word." "Pinkie promise?" "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." "Thanks." "What are friends for?" They clinked their cups together and took a sip of tea. That night, after Scootaloo went to bed, Rainbow Dash laid down, more peaceful inside than she had been in weeks. She got under the covers and tried to clear her mind. As she drifted off, she was happy as a clam. Her life was perfect. Scootaloo was flying through the air. She didn't have a care in the world. She was racing forward, feeling euphoric as adrenaline flowed through her. She looped through the sky, performing for no one but herself. She could feel her mother watching her. She felt happy and free. Suddenly, the feeling of her mother watching vanished. She looked down and saw no one there. Her panic was instantaneous. Then, her wings had vanished and she was plummeting to the ground, screaming. She woke up with a start, and felt herself crying. Looking over to her window, she saw that it was morning. She got up and ran to her Mother's room, scared out of her wits. She pushed the door open. "Mommy?" No pony was there. She ran downstairs, high strung. No pony was there. She was in a complete panic. "Mommy?" Tank was in the living room, unhooked from his rotor. When she looked over to him, she saw a note taped to the door, and ran toward it. Peanut, Had to leave extra early to handle a weather emergency. I'll be home as soon as I can. Fluttershy will be by to check in on you. Momma Scootaloo sat down next to Tank, and cried into his shell. Knowing he was the only one in the house, she talked to him. "I want my Momma." Tank very slowly turned around and licked Scootaloo's cheek, which was salty with her tears. Her mouth tried to tip up into a smile, but it just wobbled and turned to a frown. She sat there and cried for a long time. How long, she wasn't sure. Fluttershy gently knocked on the door, and opened it to see Scootaloo in tears. "Scootaloo? Are you alright?" Scootaloo stiffened and froze. There was a fork in the road here- she could pull herself together, or she could keep falling apart. She didn't think she could reign herself in, so she shook her head "no" and kept her face hidden in Tank's shell. Fluttershy went over to the filly and sat next to her. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Scootaloo tried to breathe, but could only breathe in uneven gasps. Fluttershy took the initiative to try and help her calm down. Once she got her breathing under control, Fluttershy asked, "What's the matter?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Okay." For a few minutes, there was an awkward silence. "Are you hungry?" She asked quietly. Scootaloo slowly lifted her head. "Yeah." "What are you hungry for?" "Grass pancakes?" "Coming right up." For the first time that morning, Scootaloo smiled. She went to the table and waited to be served. Fluttershy's kindness was not under appreciated. Scootaloo gave her a big hug when Fluttershy handed her her pancakes. "Thank you." She said, smiling. "You're welcome." Fluttershy replied, happy to see the filly smiling. Scootaloo was two bites into her pancakes when she asked, "Do you know where my Mom is?" "I'm sorry, I don't. There was a big mix up with some of the storm clouds, and one of the trees caught on fire. All I know is that the lightning clouds have gotten overproduced and out of control." "Okay. Thank you." She said quietly. The disappointment in her voice was ill concealed. Fluttershy felt sad for the girl she considered a goddaughter. Scootaloo ate her pancakes in a dismal silence. Fluttershy looked on her with pity. Then, like a hero swooping in to save the day, Rainbow Dash arrived. Fluttershy was quick to take her leave. Rainbow Dash looked at her daughter and knew straight away that something was amiss. Scootaloo ran to her mother and hugged her, trembling. Rainbow paused, and got down to her level. "What's the matter, peanut?" Scootaloo looked up at her slowly. She nuzzled into her Mother and was quiet. Rainbow was quick to pick up her foal and sat on the couch with her. She petted her child until Scootaloo spoke to her in a trembling falsetto. "I had a nightmare." Rainbow's eyes showed no condemnation or disappointment, only love. "Do you want to talk about it?" Scootaloo nodded. "I was flying and I knew you were watching. Then you were gone and I looked down, trying to find you, and my wings disappeared and I was falling out of the sky..." Rainbow snuggled with her daughter. "I'm right here. You'll never fall with me around." "But what if-" "You'll be fine. Trust me." Scootaloo gave a hollow nod. Rainbow just pulled her close and held onto her for a while. It occurred to her that as her daughter was beginning to master flying, these moments of regression and closeness would soon be fewer and fewer. She had to take advantage of these moments while she could. For a few moments she could pretend she never missed anything. They stayed that way for a long time. When Scootaloo looked up at her Mother, Rainbow was serene. She kept her head on straight, and was offered another lesson in flying. She eagerly accepted. In the space of the three days following the simple encounter, Rainbow declared that Scootaloo had passed basic training when it came to flying. She was now comfortable with her daughter soaring through the skies, because she's the one who taught her how to fly right. She was more at ease than she had been in weeks, and decided to write an entry in the diary. The old saying "one step forward, two steps back" is a saying for a reason. When Somepony is faced with new challenges, they can see them as scary. This week I learned that if you let your kid regress a little in things they already know, they can make amazing progress in trying new things. Because I met my daughter's needs, it gave her the confidence to fly better and work harder. This week I can officially say that my little peanut has met my standards in basic flight skills. Now that she can do that, I can start teaching her new tricks and the moves that make me awesome. It just goes to show that a little love and affection go a long way with your kids, and you'll find that if you open up that softer side of yourself and express your feelings, your kids will feel free to do the same with you. And that makes you closer with them than ever.